I Am Jack's Life Ch. 12

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A coming of age story.
3.3k words
4.66
17.5k
5

Part 12 of the 19 part series

Updated 10/31/2022
Created 01/30/2015
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Author's note and acknowledgements

This story has sat on my hard drive for four years now.

I wrote it, all twenty chapters and 95,000 words of it in eight days of a frenzied, near trance-like state, sitting on my couch with my wife's laptop. She would occasionally have to remind me to eat.

When the dust settled, and I looked up, I realized a couple of things: one, I had just written a fucking novel in a week, whoa. Two, it seemed to be pretty damn good, double whoa. And three, what the hell was I going to do with it?

I tried editing it, I even enlisted the help of a Lit-Editor, who was invaluable for early editing, and confirming it was in fact, pretty good, or readable at least. I spent several months then, editing, unashamedly forcing it on writer friends to read, regular friends to read, and total strangers on writer boards. Everyone had different opinions of course, as people do, but all of them seemed to think it was pretty good, and I should probably try to do something with it.

So I spent another year trying to sell it.

Well nothing happened.

And I can't blame them, agents and publishers. It's kind of a niche story, hard to market. It's got too much sex for a coming age story, too much teenage drama for adult fiction, and not a single word about vampires or bondage to make it work as erotic fiction.

So it's sat on my hard drive for four years. I'll occasionally open it up, tinker with a line, or try to figure out how to re-work it into something more marketable. I always end up wasting a weekend trying to figure out how to change it, without losing the essence of the thing which I, and several others, feel is, "pretty good."

So fuck it. Here you go Literotica. I just want people to read it. I want people to get to know Jack the way I did. Writing his life made me feel like I was a part of it. He's a pretty good guy, I wish I knew him in real life.

So NEXT, some disclaimers.

This is a coming of age story. Which means first it starts out when the characters are too young to have sex (on literotica.) So there's no sex for a couple chapters. I hope that's okay. Second, this is a novel length story, including the prologue and epilogue, there are twenty-one chapters in all. Some are longer than others, and there is not a sex scene in every one. (Though some have more than one.) More importantly, sex is a thing that happens, it's not written to be titillating, but rather just as events in Jack's life.

So there you go. It's a story with sex in it, not a story about sex. I think it's pretty good anyway.

If you have not read the first chapter, please click on my profile and pick the story up at the beginning, its better that way, trust me.

*****

How do you move forward after you break someone's heart?

One day at a time.

One day at a time, because time moves forward, dragging you behind it like Achilles and Hector.

The universe doesn't care about your love life, or your loss. Doesn't care that you can't think straight. Doesn't care that you can't stop replaying that moment. Doesn't care care if they left you, or you left them. It doesn't care if it was for the best, or justified, or conceived in conceited self-absorption. It just goes. The world spins on, the sun rises, sets, and rises again. You are just along for the ride friend; you can get drug behind the chariot, or you can pick yourself up out of the dirt and try to stumble along.

At least that's what I've kept telling myself. Fuck if I know anything about anything.

My parents wanted to drive me to Stanford themselves, but that didn't make any sense, it was about a nine hour drive each way, and they'd have both had to take extra time off. Especially since Anna was going too, and Abby was just across the bay at UC Berkeley an hour away.

The three of us were going to road trip it up there together. We were taking Abby's car. Mine probably would not have made the journey and I was leaving it with my parents. Anna was just selling hers. I think she sold it to Todd for five hundred bucks.

The day we were leaving, all of our parents were out on the lawn of Abby's house helping us load up Abby's Jetta; saying goodbye and generally being tearful, proud parental figures. I have no idea how we got all three sets of luggage in there, but we managed some how, and it even looked like there would be room for the three of us too.

I kept looking down the road, half hoping, half fearing to see Beth's car pulling up with herself and Kimmy to say good bye. I pretty much knew Kimmy wouldn't show up, but I was hoping Beth would have made an appearance. As I was trying for the fifth and final time to get the hatchback on the Jetta shut, Abby came around to help me close it and said, "She's not coming. She called me this morning and said she was too busy packing herself."

"Ah," I just said.

The hatchback latched and I stood back and dusted off my hands. That was it, packing done.

Time to go.

Abby just ruffled my hair. I flushed and pushed her hand away playfully. Abby was a good friend, she always knew what I was worried about, and how to get my mind off it. I shoved down the cauldron of turbulent emotions in my gut and came around the car to say goodbye to the parental units. My mom hugged me tight, tears on the edges of her eyes. Dad shook my hand. I hugged him, he hugged back.

"You'll make us proud Jack," he said.

"Maybe I'll just work on surviving until the Thanksgiving break and save family pride until grad school," I joked. We both laughed.

We got some last minute useless advice about traffic and routes. The girls hugged their parents, there were many smiles and 'I loves yous' and more advice about living in dorms. Then Abby finally said, "Lets hit the road before the term starts!" and we piled in the car and rolled out of the driveway.

Abby flipped down her sunglasses and hit the stereo - music filled up the car and we cheered. Parents waved, we waved; and then we were on the road.

I had shotgun, Abby was driving (her car), and Anna was squished in the middle of the back seat between her and Abby's boxes. We rolled through town and past the high school and the music was still upbeat and cheerful. We drove past the auditorium where I'd given my valedictorian speech and I began to get a weird feeling in my stomach. We hit the freeway and past the city limits and I fought down a wave of nostalgia.

I guess I was staring out the window in moody, sullen, sourness for too long, because by the time we hit the climb to go over the grapevine, Abby said, "This is not going to motherfucking do. We are not driving seven hours with you two acting like we're on our way to a motherfucking funeral! Someone talk!" she demanded.

I laughed and glanced back at Anna, who had been staring out the window herself, she smiled too. I smiled back.

"That's a start. Jesus Christ you two," Abby laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, alright Miss pep-talk, go for it," I said to Abby

"Hmph," she said.

"So you still haven't said why you chose Berkeley," I said, searching around for a not-depressing topic to talk about.

Abby laughed, "Because it was too late to apply to Stanford when I found out that's where you two were going."

Anna and I laughed.

"I'm serious, you think I was going to stick around and follow Beth to USC? I wanted to go to school with my friends, you two just made it convenient for me by going somewhere together," Abby said, but she was still grinning.

"Well that was just a happy accident, I had no idea Anna was applying to Stanford too," I said glancing back at Anna. She did not meet my eyes and looked at Abby.

Abby glanced up at the mirror and looked back at Anna, "Happy accident for sure," she said with a smirk.

Wait a minute.

I turned around and looked at Anna, "Did you apply to Stanford because you found out I did?"

"I applied to a lot of places. I wanted to stay in California for tuition prices, but I wanted some place with a good athletic program too. I actually got accepted to UCLA and USC, but when you applied for Stanford, I figured yeah, what the hell. Then they offered me the scholarship..." she shrugged, "It was no contest at the point. Best college in California, best track program, and you. Yeah, I picked Stanford," she smiled.

I smiled back and turned back around in my seat.

"Maybe I'll transfer in next year," Abby said.

"That'd be awesome," I said, meaning it. It would be fantastic to have the three of us together. Almost like things would be normal.

"So what are you majoring in then Annabeth, besides running really fast," Abby said.

Anna shrugged, "Probably something easy that's broad, like communications or something."

Abby smirked.

"What about you Abigayle?" asked Anna with some sass behind it.

Abby shrugged, "Something in photography. Probably something like journalism or maybe fashion design. Bet my parents would love that. They've been wanting me to be a lawyer since I was about, I dunno, probably the third trimester."

I laughed at her.

"And what about you brainy-pants? Quantum Physics?" Abby said when I chuckled at her.

I shook my head, "I don't know honestly. I mean some kind of hard science for sure, maybe a bachelors in molecular chemistry and go for a graduate degree in applied chemistry." I honestly didn't know, but I had enjoyed chemistry in high school, I could see doing it full time.

Abby laughed, "So, nothing but easy-skate classes for you then."

We all laughed.

The rest of the drive went much easier after that.

#

Stanford is huge.

I mean depending on how you measure it, it qualifies as one of the largest campuses in the world. It's got my vote for the largest, even with the others site unseen. It's a damn city. It took me a month to get my bearings. At least a month - maybe my entire freshman year. I had no classes with Anna, we were in different programs. But that was okay, I still saw her everyday. We'd eat lunch together, study together, go out to dinner together, study more together, and then sneak back to her dorm and do other things together.

It was her dorm more often than not, because my roommate was kind of a prude, and he threatened several times to report me for having a female guest over after hours. I was in an all-freshman, all-guy hall on the main row. Anna had ended up in a co-ed all-freshman dorm, and guys were just supposed to stay off her floor after midnight.

Yeah, like that happened.

Plus her roommate was seeing a guy from the next floor up and she'd just as often be upstairs in his room. I have no idea where his dorm mate went.

We weren't even having sex together, just hanging out and keeping each other company. I was still feeling too guilty from the break up with Kimmy to do anything. Every time things started to get intimate with Anna, I'd freeze up, like nothing worked.

Do you understand what I am saying? Like, 'Mr. Johnson didn't show up for work'?

Yeah, glad we cleared that up.

Thank god for Anna though, because she never pressured me, or even said anything, she'd just go back to soft kissing, and then we'd relax and talk until I had to go sneak back into my own dorm. I was getting pretty fed up with myself though; and because I guess it was just one of those things you do, I ended up having a conversation with my penis on the way back from her dorm one night.

Yes, seriously.

"Look buddy, there is no reason we shouldn't be having some fun with Anna," I said to my pants.

"She's cute, I mean, she's fucking sexy! We've even done it before? Do you remember? Hey, don't bring that up, she's out of the picture now, both of them."

It was a little chilly out, so I pulled up the hood on my red Stanford hoodie and picked up the pace.

"So, next time man, you gotta work with me, I mean it's been over a month, and yeah, I'm a little stressed, I could really use some sex right about now, okay?" I gestured with both hands to the center of my pants.

A guy walked past me, perhaps on his way back to his dorm after doing the nasty with his own girl. He gave me a weird look. Can't really blame him on that one.

"Do you see what you're getting me into? Forget Kimmy, it's over. We fucked up, I know, but can we move on? It's a new world here, we're not going to make it if we don't get in the game, you know? Anna's not going to wait forever you know, She's a hot young thing on a campus full of wolves, we've got to step up."

Well dammit it if I hadn't actually stumbled onto a valid point. I wondered if it was a point my penis had brought up to distract from the situation. When you argue with your anatomy, it's often tough to tell who's speaking.

But Anna was hot. She was damn hot. And guys noticed. Lots of guys. She got hit on all the time, even when I was standing right next to her. Just today a grad student and practically pushed me out of the way to ask her if she wanted to hit the town with him. By hit the town I'm pretty sure he meant come back to his dorm room and fuck until they were blind.

I sighed, okay, I wasn't that worried about some guy poaching Anna out from under me, but it wasn't a concern entirely without merit. We still had not made anything official, we were still sneaking around even though no one on campus knew anything about us. I wouldn't kiss her in public, not even hold her hand, and she hadn't made any public moves either.

Maybe that was a good first step. Establish that we were in fact a couple, that I was moving on and wanted to be with her, not just secret sex behind closed doors.

Okay well maybe the sex could stay behind closed doors, but I mean it didn't have to be secret.

Well I wasn't going to hand out announcements or anything, but I didn't have to pretend there was nothing going on.

Not like I meant to put a sign over us saying that we were...

Okay Okay Penis, I get the point! Make it official, then the guilt will go away and we can relax and fucking get laid.

Jesus Christ, anatomy can be so whiny.

I decided to say something the next day at lunch.

#

"You know, there's no reason we have to sneak around now," I said.

Her spoon, full of yogurt, paused on the way to her mouth, "Uh, did my dorm policies change last night and I not notice?" she said with a smirk, then put the spoon in her mouth.

"No, I mean. Us. You and I, we don't have to be sneaking around. It's just us, no one here cares about our history."

"Ah," she said, and looked down at her text book.

I frowned a little, I had been expecting more than 'Ah'.

"I mean, we can be a couple, you know, officially," I prompted.

She looked up and studied my face. After a minute she brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Are you ready for that?"

I stopped the automatic response of yes. I owed her at least the appearance of consideration.

I nodded, "I am, at least, I'm pretty sure I am. At the very least I've come to the conclusion that I want to try."

She raised an eyebrow at me.

Alright, so I was not James Bonding it here. I needed to get in the game.

"Yes, Anna, I want to be with you. Together, officially, a couple. I care a lot about you and I don't want to lose you because I'm too scared to say anything," Okay self, better. Penis, if that was you, thanks bud.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that gorgeous, well built, anthropology grad student that asked me out yesterday would it?"

I flushed, okay, maybe it did. Honesty. Honesty is the best policy. Why the fuck was she making me work for this, wasn't she the one in love with me?

"Well, yeah, a little I guess. He made me see that I'm a damn lucky guy, and I should not be ashamed to speak up for what I want."

She smiled and her eyes lit up before she lowered her gaze again down to her yogurt. She stirred it casually.

Okay, that wasn't bad, going for broke, channel Mr. Connery.

"I'm saying that you are really important to me, that I want to find out what can happen, I want... you, and I don't care who knows it." I said with some conviction behind it. Okay, that had some game, come on Anna, give me a sign.

She looked up and grinned at me, she leaned over to kiss me.

Yes! He shoots, he scores!

I leaned in to meet her half way, and then she backed off suddenly, brought her spoon up and painted strawberry yogurt on my nose.

I frowned. She lost it, giggling like a school girl and turning bright red. Passer byres rolled their eyes. Freshmen in love.

I wiped my nose off and then said, "Alright, that's it, come here!" I lunged for her and tried to snake my arms around her so I could plant a kiss on her lips. She shrieked in delight and play, and fought me off for a couple of seconds before letting me catch her in my arms.

Then we kissed, I bent her backward on the bench and she melted into my lips, opening her mouth and yielding to my tongue.

James motherfucking Bond, bitches.

Everything worked fine that night by the way.

After that, I was back to feeling something like my old self. I had a girlfriend, I was getting a handle on my class load, and generally starting to take some joy in life again. Things were good. When Abby met us for our standing Saturday night out in the city, she took one look at Anna and I coming in holding hands and just said, "About fucking time, Jesus Christ." I smiled, but I don't think anything could compare to the glow coming off Anna's face.

Time rolls on. Sometimes you just have to take the reins from Achilles and take the victory lap yourself. Drag that bastard behind his own chariot for a change.

I guess there is a reason that he beat Hector, because that motherfucker does not like it when you try to get up out of the dirt. Three days before Abby, Anna, and I were about to drive back for Thanksgiving break, he drove his sword through my guts once again.

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rightbankrightbankabout 9 years ago
really?

a cliff hanger to turn the page?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Narrator/Time Confusion? Maybe its me, but I think I see a problem.

There has been something about the narration that has seemed inappropriate or confusing throughout your story. Like this line: "At least that's what I've kept telling myself. Fuck if I know anything about anything." That sounds like a comment the narrator would make if he were narrating at the actual time, when he was young and in the moment. But I thought the narration was in retrospect, 20 years or so after the fact. The guy telling the story is recollecting from when he was in college, no? So is the older guy saying he doesn't know fuck now, or he didn't know fuck then, or both?

More. The conversation with the penis was silly. Hope/Glad it worked for other readers. It only made you character appear juvenile. The whole impotency issue stemming from his dumping Kimmy was lame. If his psyche is that deep and vibrant, then how could he be so shallow and dense in ending his relationship with Kimmy? Plus, he's been fucking Anna non-stop since he broke with Kimmy, but now they are away at college with even more opportunity, and he can't get it up? Not believable.

I'm still withhold any rating for all chapters until I read to the finish and can judge how it all comes together. I am truly happy for you that so many readers are giving such high ratings. If I didn't think this story was worth reading I wouldn't be taking the time to make comments that are honest, and I hope, helpful.

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