I Can't but I Need

Growing up in a strict Catholic household, I never had much freedom. As an adult I have adopted the motto of want and have. This has caused my will power to dwindle down to almost nothing. I never imagined being able to go so long without getting off, by my own means at the very least. Living with my husband, his erectile dysfunction and his 23 year old son in a one bedroom apartment has tested my resolve more than once.

I have been working extra hours and catching up with friends old and new. Trying anything to keep my mind off the tight young body that seems to take pleasure in accidentally bumping into me in the kitchen, the hallway and even worse the bathroom.

It started shortly after my last story, as if he knew exactly what I was feeling. It looked innocent, at least to my husband, but I felt every touch, every breath as if it was my first. Today, as I was getting home from work and as the guys were supposed to be at work, I started changing while walking towards the bedroom. I don't know how long he watched me but when I bent down to pick up my skirt I caught a glimpse of him near the front door. I think I screeched and ran into the bedroom holding my skirt in front of my open blouse and slammed the door. As I leaned with my back against the door, trying to catch my breath, I heard his footsteps approach the door.

"Hey Dawn, I'm really sorry to freak you out." He said with a smirk in his voice.

"No worries." I said breathlessly hoping he couldn't hear my heart beating out of my chest. "I just didn't realize anyone was home."

I waited until I heard him walk away and then collapsed onto the foot of the bed. There I sat in my open shirt, stockings and heels and all I could think of was the image I must have presented to him as I slowly undid the buttons on my blouse and the button and zipper on my skirt. Oh god he saw me bend down and pick up my skirt. Why oh why did I wear the skirt that required me to wear thongs. Did he see the black lace as it narrowed and then disappeared between my ass cheeks? Did he see anything else? Was there enough light for him to see any further? How I wanted him to have seen the way the lace string split my pussy lips apart and the moistness within. Oh God what is wrong with me?? I was turning into some sort of horny old lady.

It took me awhile to get dressed, my fingers were so unsteady. I finally calmed down enough to go start dinner. It helped that my husband got home, the sound of his voice soothed me enough to cut veggies without losing a finger.

I was careful after that to make sure I remained well covered at all times but it didn't stop him tying me up in knots. In the morning as I pulsed my smoothie he came up beside me and reached for a glass on the top shelf and nudged me closer to the base. I kept my face neutral as I felt the vibrations in my whole body. I poured my smoothie while he waited for his toast. I could see him absently scratch himself through his plaid boxers. He was semi-hard and I wanted so badly to get down on my knees then and there and see if I could fit all of him down my throat. He started to grow as I watched. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his thick cock getting ready to poke out. I ran.

Well I didn't run but I got ready as quickly as possible and left for work. Although I was working longer hours, I was not really getting much more work done. I kept reliving every little touch or look over and over again. I had to find some release soon or I was going to make a horrible mistake.

It was Friday night and date night for my husband and I. We got dressed up and went for dinner and then ended up at a martini bar with a beautiful view of the night lights. We talked and laughed until closing time. What a wonderful night, I didn't think of fucking his son once the whole evening. We got home to a dark apartment and continued to the bedroom where my husband proceeded to undress me. I loved the feel of his fingers as he removed all my clothing so slowly. He laid me down on the bed and started to massage my toes, one by one. He moved slowly from feet to calves to thighs, every spot his fingers touched was also kissed lovingly before continuing. This torture continued until I wanted to scream. His ministrations were pleasing but knowing that he would not be fucking me to full release made it a special kind of torture. I just couldn't make my imagination cooperate so I did what I hated to do and badly faked an orgasm.

Pulling my husband into a pussy scented kiss I managed to distract him enough so he didn't notice the missing contractions and cum. We cuddled for an hour before he fell asleep. My head lay on his chest, the smell of my juices and his sweat mingling to create a most erotic combination. I needed to cum right now! I slowly worked my way out from under his arm, pausing now and then to make sure he didn't wake. I ran my hand over my large breasts and my hard nipples ached with need. As I rolled one between my thumb and index finger I felt my pulse between my legs and cum dripping down into my ass. I realize that this might get loud so decide to hop in the shower. This makes clean up much easier and will prevent my husband's waking up at the wrong moment. I love him and don't want his inability to satisfy me rubbed in his face (;-)). I shampoo and apply conditioner, let that work while I do too. My breasts have always been really sensitive and I love playing with them in the shower. Soap lathered hands running over the nipples and making me tremble. How I wish the hands were not my own.

How I wish they were strong and grabbed my tits hard and rough while a long, thick cock enters me from behind. The need is overwhelming, my finger slides down to my lips and slowly slips between them. I freeze. The bathroom door was opening. My finger slips out from between my throbbing lips, lightly grazing my clit causing me to inhale sharply. The water continues to pound down and I hold my breath. Why didn't the person speak? Was it my husband half asleep needing to pee? As my mind races, the silence continues. It's not my husband. I can smell the cologne, strong and way too perfumey. The younger generation is obsessed with drowning themselves in whatever scent is hot at the moment. Call me strange but I prefer my men smelling like men, sweat & sawdust. I admit I may be influenced by my teen fantasies involving rough cowboys. I was obviously losing my mind from lack of oxygen. I take a gulp of air just as I hear the rustling of the shower curtain. A hand reaches in and turns off the tap. The silence is sudden and engulfing. I know who it is of course. I turn slowly to face the curtain and watch the same hand open the curtain. My eyes stay glued to those fingers. I know if I look at anything else I might break down. The fingers move towards my face and turn it to face forward.

I keep my eyes down and my arm reaches up to try and cover myself. He grabs it gently and brings it back down to my side. We stand there for what seems like forever. He was barefoot and his size 11 feet were the most erotic thing I have ever seen. The veins, the bones, the hair, I bit my tongue to keep from bending down and running my tongue between the toes. What was I thinking, licking his feet? I had to tell him to stop before it was too late. I wanted him to touch me. I needed him to touch me. With every breath in my body I wanted him to want to touch my soft warm skinsl so much that he couldn't help but reach for me. When he did, I almost fell and he had to steady me by holding both my shoulders and our eyes met. His eyes were dark with hunger for a split second and then he smirked. What did he see in my eyes that made him feel so sure of himself. Could he see my desperation? My need for release? Did he know what I had been doing when he came in? That I had been thinking of him?

His hands ran down my arms to my hips, large hips that flared out from my small waist. He kneeded the flesh, his eyes glued to mine. He knew exactly how his touch was affecting me. I was paralyzed with need. His right hand continued down and stopped behind my left knee. He lifted my foot to rest at an angle on the side of the tub. I watched his eyes as they left mine and started downwards. I shiver at the heat that grows as his eyes take in every inch of my naked body. He kneels in front of me and takes a deep breath. "You smell really good." I didn't want him to talk. If he talked then this was no longer a dream and it would have to end. However unwanted I felt complimented somehow. As though the fact that he liked the smell of my dripping pussy was somehow an accomplishment. He bent his head towards my cunt and as the tip of his tongue touched my clit I came instantly. He sucked me with his warm mouth and his hands held me in place as he tried to drink all the cum spraying out of me. I felt some drip down my leg as his thumb traced circles around my tight pussy.

My hips shift slightly despite myself, wanting to force his thumb inside me. I feel him chuckle as he breathes hot air on my sensitive clit. His tongue starts slow swipes up and down my wet lips. Teasing me by getting closer and closer to where I want it until I finally grab his head and direct it. His tongue is inside me, drinking from me as if he needs every drop to heal his need. His hands grab my ass as I wrap my leg around his neck. My left hand is braced against the wall and I can feel the heat from my hand spreading over the cool white tile. A second and third wave ride through me as his thumb pushes past his tongue and finds just the right spot to rub. His other hand is grabbing me hard from behind and his index finger is teasing my other hole. I can barely stand, the flood of emotions and pent up need spills out of me. I look up and see my reflection in the mirror. The back of his head, his tongue licking me clean, his thumb pushing in and out of me. Suddenly I see his hand grab my breast and my head falls back and a long deep moan escapes from somewhere deep inside.

When my trembling finally stops, my eyes close, he places a kiss on my stomach and stands. With my eyes still closed I feel a tear escape and run down my cheek. He catches it with his tongue and kisses both my eyelids. A few moments later the bathroom door closes.

I don't know how long I stand there or what time it is when I finally make it to bed. I thought I heard birds chirping but it could have been all in a dream.