I Have A Secret

I have a Secret.

I can Walk.

Now I know that that doesn't sound like a big secret to you, but I've been paralyzed from the waist down since I was 12. Now you're interested.

I remember it all vividly. It all started several months ago when…

I was just getting used to being stuck in a wheelchair and I was coming home from a friend's house. It was late and I was passing by the forest that's along the edge of our town. It was a clear summer night and the crickets were chirping and the moon was out, when I heard IT.

That noise. How can I describe it?

It was this tremendous howl that sounded like a train derailing off the Empire State Building and into a blender. Even that doesn't describe it totally. It went to the very core of my being and scared me! I'm sure that it had helped that we had been watching Horror movies all night. I tried to hurry home. I was so scared.

There was the sound of something, Big, moving towards me at high speeds, crashing through the forest. Something came out of the forest and collided with me. I almost felt like I was flying…I was going so fast. Sending us tumbling into the street, legs and arms flaying. I was wrestling with this creature flailing on it with my arms. Hitting this incredibly furry thing. I couldn't really see more of it we were in the blackest shadows from the tall trees in the forest. Then just as I thought I might win and throw the beast off of me, I felt pain, intense pain, coming from my arm. I looked down to see the creature's glistening white teeth removing itself from my arm. I saw the blood starting to flow. I remember thinking that it was over, and I prepared for the end. I saw the white light getting closer. It took me awhile to realize that that light was a pair of headlights coming out of the darkness. The creature had disappeared, slunk back in the dark forest. I'll never forget what I saw lying there. I was on my back looking up into the night, and I saw so many stars and then I noticed the Full Moon. I knew then, I'd notice that more often. Then I passed out.

I was told later that a farmer saw me in the road and stopped to help. He took me to the hospital and they gave me Rabies Shots, I was glad I was passed out for that. The doctors looked at the wound and were convinced that it was a stray dog. The cleaned it up and bandaged me then they called my parents. I woke up sometime later and the doctors told me that I would be ok. I went home thinking that I was lucky.

If I had only known then I would have reconsidered.

I went about the rest of the month the same as before, hanging out with my friends, watching TV and just relaxing. I didn't want to be alone at night anymore. Even though I was told I was all right I knew, deep down, that something was wrong with me. My wound got better fairly quickly and I should have though more of that but I didn't.

I started feeling like I should be in the forest at night. The forest was where I belonged. That feeling of being outside started growing more and more intense. I had to get out of my house. I needed to smell the outdoors, to feel the wind against my face. I decided to go see best friend Billy. He told me he that he had just got a new game in that I had to see.

I went down that same road that I had been attacked on last month. I still don't know exactly why I did that, but I found myself at the scene of the attack. I was just sitting there, waiting for what I'm not sure. But I felt compelled to be there. So I sat there listening to the crickets chirp, and smelling the crisp air. I started to feel relaxed and calm, totally at peace and one with my surroundings.

That's when it happened.

I felt weird. The only way to describe it is my skin started to crawl and was itchy. I felt a wave of nausea and I looked up to see the sky. The star were so bright, but was even brighter than that was the Moon. My God, the Full Moon, it brought about feelings that I had never known before in my life. I yearned to be free of that wheelchair. I struggled to stand, to run through the street and into the forest. I let my body do as it willed. I really had no choice I wasn't me anymore. Then, I got out of my wheelchair. I just stood up, and for a few seconds I was myself again. I marveled at how it felt to stand again. I wanted to run and jump and climb a tree. So I started to do these things, not noticing how I had changed. I raced through the forest and noticed that it was different, more alive. I noticed the animals that were around me and smelled the traces of the ones that had been there earlier in the day. And the sounds I heard, I felt like I could almost understand the crickets and the owls and even the bats. Then I heard it.

I heard that tremendous howl again, but this time I wasn't scared. It seemed to call to me, and I answered the call with a howl of my own. Mine was different; it was only one voice where as the calling howl was many voices. I was confused at first, but it seemed to be natural. In fact, I felt a flood of memories return to me. I knew that I was part of the Pack and I had to rejoin them. They called to me again and I ran deeper into the forest to join my brothers and sisters.

I ran faster and faster through the woods to join up with them. The woods became a blur of sights and sounds and smells. I noticed more and more the smells; I could smell the rabbit and the deer that passed by several hours ago. I found I could see well even though there was only the light of the moon through the dense treetop. I began to wonder why I had never noticed all of these wondrous things before now.

Then I noticed the changes in myself. I paused and looked at my new self, I was much more muscular and hairy. I knelt by a stream to try and see my reflection. Through the running water I saw that my face had become more lupine. I couldn't believe how I looked, I wasn't repulsed but I felt like this was how I should look. I heard the howl again and I knew that they were waiting for me. I started running again marveling at how fast I could travel.

I finally made it to the clearing. It was a clearing in the trees, and the moon shown down from overhead. The Pack greeted me as the newest member, and this female came over to stand beside me. How do I describe how she looked? She looked similar to me but slightly taller and with a reddish tint to her fur. I marveled at her beauty. She seemed familiar, and I realized that she was the one that had attacked me that night a month ago. She explained that she was the one that had sired me and that I would learn everything that I needed to learn from her.

I was told that we gather every month at this same clearing and I was expected to be there to participate in the matters of the Pack. We also were expected to report on concerns of the outer world. I learned a great deal. Some stuff just doesn't translate; it's hard to explain it all.

The meeting ended shortly before dawn, and my Sire guided me back towards town. She kept close to me, and as we traveled back I sensed familiarity from her. I know that I know who this is I just can't place who. We stopped shortly from the edge of the forest.

"You should go home," she said.

"I want to stay out and have some fun. I enjoy being free again. This is wonderful. Why do I have to go now?" I replied

"Because I'm your sire and I say you should go home."

"But what if we go out together and you show me more of what this is like?" I wondered.

"No go home and be careful not to be seen."

She looked at me funny, like she didn't want to see me go, and she wanted to say more. However, she just turned and left. At that moment that I sensed that there was more to happen between us, just not tonight.

I made it back to my house and bounded through the window. I was glad it was summer; I don't know what I'll do when winter comes. I realized that I didn't have my wheelchair either, but I was suddenly very sleepy and the bed was so comfy. I planed to deal with that later. Sleep overcame me and I slept peaceful and content.

The next morning I awoke to see my wheelchair on the other side of my room. I wondered if I would be free of it in this form as well. Knowing only one way to test the theory. I actually walked over to my chair. That was so wonderful. I was going to walk out of my room but I realized that that would cause to many, to many questions. After enjoying standing on my own I gave up my newfound freedom and sat down. I felt restrained and confined. I longed to be free, running and enjoying the world.

I went to college that day. My chair itched me all day long; I couldn't shake this feeling that I should be running. I began to daydream about next month's meeting, longing for it to come sooner. My thoughts also strayed to thoughts of my Sire. When the attack first happened I was miserable, but now that I know what it's like to be truly free, I don't want to be stuck in this chair.

After lunch, Alyssa offered to push me to my next class. If I had been thinking clearly I might have seen it sooner. Alyssa and I didn't speak much, she was the popular one, and I, and well I was the one that sat beside her in a lot of classes. We had only had the briefest of conversations, mostly about homework and when the next test was. She stopped my daydreams by saying that she knew. I was going to ask her what she meant when I looked up at her and stared into her eyes. She looked back and I saw the longing for the forest in her eyes as well. I knew I had found my Sire.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask but the bell rung and it was time for class. The rest of the day was spent in quiet pondering and observing. I noticed that even though Alyssa was still not really paying attention to me but I did notice all the quick looks that she shot towards me.

The rest of that day passed quickly. I had planed to roll home alone but apparently Alyssa had other plans.

"Hay wait up," She called to me.

I slowed down and let her reach me. She looked amazing even after a full day of school.

"I've been meaning to talk to you." She informed me. "I t was just hard to get away. I've been watching you for a while and really wanted hang out with you, but I didn't know how you would react to the Other side of me. I tried to get closer to you but you know how the IN crowds are. "

"Yea, they barely know I exist." I said.

We started on our way home, all the wile getting to know each other better. I found there was nothing I couldn't tell her and she me. I quickly found out that she was a very intelligent woman. She said that was part of her interest in me. She wanted to have someone she could talk at length with about what ever. We were talking for a long time on the way home. I didn't really notice where we were but I knew inside of me that I was far from home. When we finally did stop, I noticed that we were back in the forest. I felt so alive there.

Alyssa told me that we were very far away from prying eyes and should be safe from the human world. I took her cue and leapt from my chair. Oh to be free of that retched thing!

You can never know the joy I felt in those moments.

It was incredible.

Then again, I also enjoyed what happened next.

We embraced and the feelings were incredible. We slowly started exploring each other's bodies, clothing was shed, we became as one. Her soft skin felt so good against my own. I had never had a girlfriend before I didn't know quite what to expect but Alyssa was very gentle and I learned a great deal very quickly.

It was wonderful.

We lay there in the sunlight both content, and chatting about this and that. We really got to know one another and I am convinced that we are destined to be together. But then reality set in, I knew that I'd have to get back in that chair to go back home. I looked at Alyssa and started to plead with her not to make me go back.

"How would it look, you suddenly walking back home?"

"I could say I got cured somehow." I explained.

"Ok, How?" She questioned.

"Um…" was the best I could come up with.

I knew she was right; I just didn't want to give up my newfound freedom. I slowly got back in my chair. I can tell you it was not fun the rest of the way home, but Alyssa and I started talking about what we would do at school and with the rest of the world. She told me that she would try to walk home with me everyday so we could take a short cut through the woods and have some fun.

Everything was going on fine until that fateful Friday.

If only Billy hadn't been so curious or if only we hadn't been so carefree and loud, we were talking our usual stroll through the forest and having tons of fun. I keep wondering why I didn't hear him sneaking up on us; I have noticed that all my senses have been heightened since it happened. I guess I was just too preoccupied with what we were doing to notice. He surprised us took both of us totally by surprise, and just as he started to question us I felt a strange feeling and turned to see Alyssa shimmer and the forest seemed to shudder. The there she was, as my Sire. I felt surprised and confused, I thought that could only happen during the full moon.

It was over so fast, she sprang from my side and started ripping and tearing him apart. She was so violent and quick there was not much was left of him when she was done. He was just lying there in parts and blood was everywhere when I noticed Alyssa had fainted. Again I should have paid more attention to what I was doing but I was more concerned about my Sire. I put her in my chair and wheeled her to the edge of the forest where the stream ran past and tried to wake her.

She wouldn't wake up.

Nothing worked so I had no choice but to switch with her and wheel us both to her house. Her parents were so concerned and took her right to the hospital, my parents were called and of course since there was blood on Alyssa the police were called. I should have come up with a better scenario other than I was rolling past when she appeared out of the forest and fainted.

Of course they went to investigate, and of course they found Billy, or what was left of him. All they could determine was that a large animal had attacked and killed him. We still might have been all right if the forest wasn't so big, they would have searched and found nothing big enough to attack and kill a person.

I didn't really pay attention to anything except hoping that Alyssa would be better. I needed someone to talk to and she was the only one that had the answers. I could have talked to anyone else in the Pack, but I didn't know whom they were or how to get a hold of them. The hospital said she was in a deep coma and didn't give her much of a chance of wakening up. I couldn't accept that, I found it hard to believe that she didn't know what she was doing when she did it. I had faith that she would be ok if I just waited by her side.

So I waited…

And waited…

And waited…

Then finally, two weeks later, right before the full moon she woke up. She was fine. She didn't remember anything. She looked confused and was longing for a free moment to talk to me about what happened. I didn't get a chance to talk to her until the next night when I sneaked out of my house to meet up with the pack.

I found Alyssa in the woods on the way to the meeting.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Billy found us, and you changed and attacked him," I explained. "I didn't think we could change except for now."

"No, we are free to take this form when ever we need, however there is always a price."

I was about to ask more but I heard the Pack howl, they were wondering where we were. We quickly headed into the clearing. When we got there Alyssa told me to tell everyone what had happened. As I told what had happened in the forest I was watching the rest of the Pack. Some of them were upset and others looked ready to go and fight. They all seemed to know that this would happen eventually. We all were told to watch for possible threats to the Pack. I also found out how to reach the rest of the pack incase anything happened. I felt a little better, but still felt like this whole thing was my fault.

Just before we were going to call it a night, we went for a quick hunt. I was enjoying the thrill of running again when I smelled something foreign in the forest. I called out and we went to investigate. What we found was a trap, a common trap. We quickly concluded that they were trying to get rid of us and something had to be done. We were all to think of possible solutions and to present the ideas next meeting.

I really didn't give it too much thought I figured that people would just forget like they always do. It wasn't until two weeks later when there was another victim. I went to see Alyssa and she informed me that some members of the pack had been injured on the way home and they had taken things into their own paws.

Over the next week I started to notice how the outsiders were skittish and I knew that they would keep hounding us and causing us problems. I knew I had been the cause of all of this, and it bothered me. Started weighing heavily on my mind and I really needed my meeting with the pack.

Finally, the full moon arose again and I went to our meeting. We discussed the possible solutions but the issue kept returning to either them or us. We realized that they would keep hunting us until we were wiped out, so instead of being hunted we decided to start hunting them. I was concerned that we would not able to continue hunting when the moon was not full. Then we were introduced to the ritual that would allow us to maintain our form as long as we needed. We would band together to reclaim the forest and the surrounding area; we would be free at last. I was enjoying the power, but I felt concerned for the few of my true friends.

I expressed my concerns and was immediately sorry I did. The thoughts on the matter were they all had to pay; to perhaps we were taking the wrong path. It was finally decided that we could return home and warn those we cared for but we HAD to return by tomorrow night or be considered an enemy of the Pack.

That's why I left.

I tell you all of this because I want to warn you. There is a great hunt that is about to happen. There is a concern that humans are a threat to the existence of the Pack. I think this involves everyone in town but I'm not sure yet. I have much to learn still. I do know that the forest belongs to us now and it will always. Do not venture into them lightly.

And,

if you happen to be near the woods and hear some howls.

RUN!

Run fast or I'll get you.