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Click hereFeeling my impending orgasm, I immediately grabbed her ass cheeks and pulled her too me.
Her chest now at eye level, with one hand still guiding her crotch over mine, I grabbed her shoulder with my free hand and guided her chest to my face. Her right nipple, now a shade of red from my light pinching, was inching towards my face and I eagerly began sucking on it. I sucked as much of her breast into my mouth as I could and lapped at the nub with my tongue.
"Oh God! Yes! That feels so good, Erik, don't stop! Don't stop!" she moaned into my ear.
Our underwear was now soaked in our fluids as she continued to glide her pussy over my hard cock.
The sensation of her spongy mound in my mouth and her loud moans of pleasure in my ear triggered my orgasm and I gripped her ass hard, surely leaving bruises, and pulled her body into mine one last time as my cock began to shudder and shoot wave after wave of semen up my stomach and chest.
She once again moaned loudly, signaling what I could only assume was her second orgasm. She collapsed onto me and was panting heavily.
"Wow," she said to know one in particular. "That was incredible."
She collapsed onto me. I could feel her warm breath on my neck as she panted heavily from our incestuous bout of grinding.
After catching her breath, she pulled back up and leaned in again to kiss me when we heard:
"Kids! Dinner's ready!"
To be continued...
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 3 years agoGood premise.
But the sex, when it happened, happened too fast, and lacked the detils that could have made it erotic.
Three stars.
Anonymousover 6 years agoWell other than what looked like auto-correct misspelling words, I thought the chapter was really, really good!
Heh, I loved that one bit; Oh, my dick is uncomfortable, lemme just yank my jeans down to my knees and pull most of my dick up above my waistband. Whew, thats better! Rofl!!
Ill have to try that one on the wife, hehehe.
WorldsApartabout 8 years agoAuthorThank you! I tries to send chapter two through an editor but after a dozen emails and two days I just decided to submit it. You're right of course, and I'll be more critical of the timeline in the future.
irishmike73about 8 years agoThis is a good start (for you as a writer). You definitely have a talent you should continue to explore and develop. My biggest praise goes to your responses to other readers' feedback. It's refreshing to see an author be positive about the comments they receive. That being said, I have a couple for you as well. I apologize if they seem like repeats of others.
Be careful with your timeline. On page one, he notices his mom being awake at eleven in the morning. When he talks to his sister, she tells him about her appointment at noon. He then takes the time to putter around while she gets ready before taking her to lunch, all in less than an hour. Doesn't seem like nearly enough time.
The medical part of this doesn't make a lot of sense to me. She most likely wouldn't have been released from the hospital until it was certain her blood work was good to go, so the appointment would have been unnecessary. More realistically, she would have been under psychiatric care, and an appointment with a therapist would have made more sense.
To lie in the prone position is to be on your stomach. The supine position is lying on your back, which I believe is what you meant. Did I know what you were trying to describe? Of course, but small errors like that can cause readers to stumble.
All in all, I enjoyed your story and am getting ready to read your next installment. Knowing you have sent it through an editor, I'm excited. Keep up the good work!
Mike
Comentarista82about 8 years ago...buildup and nice way to end with Chloe wanting Erik that way. I love that she has auburn hair and I love how she wants him, so I eagerly can't wait for Ch. 2. :)
