I Kissed a Girl Ch. 06

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on, Kat. You'd like it. I just know it."

"Jenna, there a lot of things I've done that I never thought I would." I ticked off the items on one hand. "Kissed a girl. Had sex with said girl. Went to Tuscany and Paris. Got a tattoo. Had my fucking clit pierced—"

"Clitoral hood," Jenna said, licking her lips, her eyes shiny.

I glared at her. "But I have to draw the line somewhere."

"I can understand that. But this is so...I don't know. You've done worse."

"No."

"Just think about it."

I pursed my lips and refused to play her game.

"Since we're on the subject..."

I sighed loud and deep, paired with an eye roll.

"I meant Christmas, sweetie."

My shoulders relaxed. "What about it?"

"Come here." Jenna tugged on my hand until I crawled onto her lap. She untied my robe and slid a hand through the gap until she could stroke my breast under the terrycloth. "Do you want to go somewhere or stay here?"

"Like? Somewhere else in Europe? Maybe Australia? I'd even settle for Hawaii." The last word came out high-pitched as her hand had travelled downward, and her finger flicked the tiny, silver ring and ball resting over my clit.

"No, somewhere in the states."

"Hawaii is in the states." I moaned softly and laid my head on her shoulder. I really should have dried my hair after my shower. It would be hell to comb out now. But once I'd gotten my robe on and Jenna said she wanted to talk about something, I'd taken a seat beside her on the couch and hadn't wanted to get back up again. I really didn't want to do that now.

"Skiing maybe?"

"We could try that in January. I don't want to take the chance of having my leg in a cast for Christmas. Why don't we just stay here this year? I'm sure we could find something to do to pass the time."

"Here? Right here?" She slid her finger down and then up inside of me. "Like this?"

"Uh, yeah," I gasped. "Right there."

"So hot, baby," she murmured against my hair. "Open your legs wider."

I did as she asked, moaning as she twisted her hand a little so her thumb flicked my piercing again as she stroked.

"We'll go to Maggie's for Christmas Eve and sleep in on Christmas Day."

I just nodded and let the waves build. We'd discuss going to Maggie's Lounge later. Right now, I just wanted to come.

###

We spent Saturday doing some last minute shopping and had lunch in the Walnut Room at the heart of Macy's. I really missed the window displays they'd had when the grand old store was owned by Marshall Field's. While Macy's still decorated the store and the windows, it just wasn't the same.

After lunch, we took a cab back to our apartment and deposited our purchases. Jenna had scored two tickets to the Rockette's Radio City Christmas Show from her job, so we rushed around to get ready before our taxi picked us up.

As the orchestra played the opening number, I just couldn't believe that Christmas was only a week away. I had expected to be spending it with my new husband. But I wouldn't have changed the past six months for anything. I was finally where—and with whom—I was supposed to be.

The first act was filled with a mixture of classic Christmas songs and synchronized dance routines. Jenna held my hand on the armrest between us when we weren't clapping. It was nice. Comforting. Natural.

During the intermission, we both got a cocktail and wandered around the auditorium's lobby, pointing out different holiday decorations or the building's unique architecture. I had been to a couple of productions with Danny before, but never had I enjoyed the experience as I did now with Jenna.

The second act passed by in a blur. I only paid half-attention to the women on stage doing their kicklines. I thought about my girlfriend instead.

Jenna wanted to be here. She understood my love for the theatre. She understood me. She didn't try to make me into something I wasn't, or hide what was going on in her life. She let me be myself...and was patient for me to open up to her.

I knew she wouldn't have pressed me into exploring the lesbian lifestyle if I truly hadn't wanted to. Yes, she still would have kissed me that night shortly after I'd returned from the emergency room, my hand in a cast after punching Danny in the nose. But she wouldn't have gone any further if I'd told her to stop.

Now? She consumed my every thought. I grew anxious when she was away on a business trip, even if only for a couple of days. I wasn't afraid anymore that she'd hook up with Lauren or some other chick while on the road. But I missed her like no tomorrow. Not that I needed to be with her twenty-four/seven, but I hated the times we were apart and we wanted to be with each other.

We had our share of fights, like any couple. But they were trivial. And we always made up. Boy, was make-up sex fun.

"Are you ready to go get some food?" Jenna squeezed my hand.

I blinked and looked around. I'd daydreamed right through the finale. Everyone was standing up, pulling on coats, shuffling down their rows to the aisles. My stomach rumbled, and I laughed. "Yes, let's go eat. I'm starving."

Jenna did all the talking over dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I just smiled and nodded. If someone asked me, I wouldn't have been able to say what she'd said...or what I'd eaten. I had no idea what was wrong with me.

"Are you okay?" Jenna ran her fingers over my knee as we rode back home in a cab.

"Yeah. It's just been a long week. I'm a little overwhelmed with the holidays, I guess."

"Cheer up. It's Christmastime." She gave me a peck on the cheek and then looked out her window until we stopped in front of our brownstone.

I lay in bed that night, thinking about the question Jenna had proposed to me earlier in the week. Could I possibly do it? She was right on the one hand. I had done a lot of things most people wouldn't have fathomed. But could I really take the step she wanted me to? I just wasn't sure.

###

Work was crazy the next week with the holiday quickly approaching. Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve. I woke to gently falling snow outside the window and wanted to curl up under the covers for a couple of more hours.

"Merry Christmas!" Jenna sang, skipping around the bedroom in her panties and bra.

"It's only Christmas Eve," I said, shivering under the comforter.

"Oh, bah, you old Scrooge." Jenna sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on a pair of nylons. "Or maybe you're a Grinch."

"What I am is freezing. Put some clothes on, please."

"I have a meeting just before lunch, so I'll see you after work. You're done at noon, right?" She pulled on a gray pencil skirt and disappeared into the bathroom.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Yes. I should be home by one at the latest. Hopefully sooner, but you know how traffic can be in the city today."

"You should probably eat something without me. We'll head down to Maggie's around five for dinner."

"Do we have to go?" I held my breath, watching the empty doorway. Five, four, three, two—

"Kat Jenkins!" Jenna marched back into the bedroom, wielding a hairbrush. "We've been planning to go to this party for almost a month now."

"No, Jenna. You have been planning it. I know. You have gone every year for who knows how long. I just thought maybe you and I—"

"No, Kat. We're going. End of story."

For just a moment, my lower lip trembled. I didn't want to fight. Not today. But I also wanted to make tonight memorable. It was our first Christmas together. I didn't want to spend it with a bunch of lesbians, although I had become quite friendly with several of them on our regular Friday night visits to the lounge after work.

"You better get up. You're going to be late for work." Jenna walked into the closet, taking out her frustration on her clothes from the sounds of hangers being yanked back and forth.

I took my chance and streaked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I could wait it out until she left. When I turned away from the door, I froze.

Standing in front of the mirror, I saw my disheveled hair, my flushed cheeks, my swollen bottom lip from where I had worried it with my teeth. Right now, it was a result of having just woken up and rushing to my hiding place. But it was a similar look after Jenna and I made love or were just fooling around.

I lowered my eyes. My naked breasts were just visible above the frame of the mirror on our medicine cabinet. At that moment, something came over me. I thought about Jenna's words the other day. How she said I'd like it if I agreed to her suggestion.

Closing my eyes, I cupped my breast with one hand and stroked my thumb over my nipple. I slid my other hand between my thighs, rubbing against my clit. I imagined it was Jenna's hands, not mine. I carried the daydream further in my head, but I was rudely interrupted by a pounding on the door.

"Just meet me at Maggie's at five, Kat. Don't ruin Christmas. Please."

I sank down to the toilet seat and cried. I hated fighting with her. Especially over something like this. It wasn't like she was suddenly having to work instead of being with me. We'd still be together.

She didn't expect me to change overnight, so I couldn't expect her to, either. This year, we'd go to Maggie's Lounge for Christmas Eve. Next year, maybe we'd go away, start a new tradition together.

Suddenly I smiled. Maybe I couldn't do what she had asked me to do, but I could arrange one more Christmas gift for her.

###

The friendly chatter competed with the clink of silverware against flatware. All of the women seated around us were dolled-up—some in dresses, others in pantsuits, all of them in shades of red, green, black, and silver. Brad hustled back and forth behind the bar in a Santa suit sans belly and beard. A couple of extra guys roamed the floor delivering drinks and food.

"Aren't you glad we came?" Jenna patted my knee under the black tablecloth of our round table for two near the stage where the occasional entertainment performed. A white candle on a square mirror in the middle of the table flickered, the green holly and berries surrounding it shimmering from the glitter that had been sprinkled over it.

"Yes, I can see why you like it here. Everyone's so...festive. And it's very cozy." I took a sip of my wine, hoping my smile hid any evidence of my nervousness.

I had caught Brad's eye earlier when we came in for the cocktail hour. He'd nodded, a sign that he'd received my voicemail. I just had to wait another hour while we ate dinner. Ugh. That was an eternity of keeping my mind off my surprise.

"You look fantastic tonight, Kitty Kat," Jenna said, her voice a soft purr. Her fingers cinched up the already-short hem of my red-satin cocktail dress until she touched my bare skin above my knee.

Heat filled my cheeks. I still wasn't quite used to her public displays of affection even though we were being more open about our relationship. We had both agreed to be careful as I didn't want to jeopardize my job, but I didn't have to worry about who might see me here at Maggie's. Still...

"Are you feeling better since this morning?

I nodded, afraid to speak lest I say something I would regret. Better to just let the past be if Jenna was going to let it smooth over so well.

She talked about work while we nibbled on buttered rolls and waited for our entrees to be delivered. I couldn't tell if they had cooked the food here at the lounge or if it had been catered. But if the rest of our meals were anything like the Caesar salads we were eating, we were all in for a treat.

"I am so looking forward to giving you your present." Jenna's smile suddenly went flat. "Well, fuck. Don't turn around. Just keep eating."

I froze with my fork halfway to my mouth. "What?"

She cleared her throat. "Lauren just walked in. With a date. And..."

Slowly, I lowered my hand, my fork rattling as it clashed against the plate. I opened my mouth. Jenna raised her hand to stop me, but I ignored her. "And what?"

"I am not jealous. I just wanted you to know."

"Because?"

"Hello, girls." Lauren sidled up to our table.

"Lauren." Jenna held her wine glass to her lips. Her other hand shook slightly on the tabletop.

"Don't you just love the holidays?" Lauren twisted her hips, letting her above-the-knee-length skirt swish around her legs. Her green dress was strapless and showed an ample amount of cleavage. It was borderline risqué. Knowing her, she meant it to be that way.

I was cold just looking at her and wondered if someone had a sweater to throw over her shoulders. I gulped the glass of water I hadn't touched thus far, glad to have something to occupy my hand and mouth. I prayed that Jenna would keep her cool, but I could see the way she clenched her jaw and her eyes narrowed. She was pissed. Lauren had a right to be here as much as anyone. But surely her presence couldn't be the only reason for the tension. Something else was wrong.

"Merry Christmas, Lauren." Jenna's voice was strained.

"Jenna, this is Celene." Lauren put her hand over her mouth and did a very poor attempt at feigning surprise. "Oh, my bad, you already know each other."

Jenna nodded. "Hello, Celene."

"Merry Christmas, Jenna." The woman beside Lauren wore a black tuxedo-style pantsuit; her dark hair was short and slicked back. In an odd way, she looked like the female-version of James Bond. Her cheeks had turned a lovely shade of red. "It's been awhile. How have you been?"

And just like that, the light bulb came on in my head. I glanced between the three women. Noticed the smug look on Lauren's face. The way the corners of Celene's mouth turned up in a soft smile as she looked down at Jenna. How none of them gave me a second glance.

Maybe it was the desire to stand up for myself for once. Or maybe it was the fact that this bitch who had tried to steal Jenna away from me had brought one of Jenna's exes to the Christmas Eve party probably just to rub it in her face. Whatever it was, I let a sly smile spread over my face, reached my hand out to Celene, and sweetly said, "Hello. I'm Kat, Jenna's fiancée. Merry Christmas."

Celene slowly turned her attention to me, extended her hand, and took mine in a weak shake. "Uh, Merry Christmas, to you, too. Um, congratulations."

"She's lying," Lauren snapped, tugging Celene's hand away from mine. "They're not engaged. Look, neither of them are wearing a ring. They're not even dating. Kat's just pretending to be a lesbian. She's a wanna-be, and a poor attempt at it."

"Lauren, you of all people should know how fast someone can fall in love with another person." I grinned, batting my eyes at her, noticing how her jaw clenched. "Besides, who says you need a ring to show your engagement? We're all women of the new millennium. Tradition is outdated."

"Bitch," Lauren hissed at me.

Celene gasped, pulling her hand out of Lauren's grasp now.

"It was nice to meet you, Celene. Please excuse us, but we were enjoying our meal and in the middle of a conversation. I hope you both have a good evening." I turned back to Jenna and took her free hand on the table. "Where were we, honey?"

Jenna gaped at me. Lauren scowled. Celene...well, her face went pale and she fumbled with the buttons on her jacket as she opened and closed her mouth several times without saying a word.

Lauren wrapped her arms around one of her date's and pressed up against her. "Celene, love, let's go find our table."

"No." Celene lifted her chin, pulled her arm free, and stared straight at Lauren. "I don't know what your agenda was tonight, but apparently it was more than just a friendly Christmas dinner together. Honestly, I feel used. Jenna and I had an amicable split years ago, and we've both moved on. You and I? It's nothing but friends. At least it was until you made a scene. You seem positively obsessed with her. She's clearly not interested in you. And you know what? Neither am I. Goodbye, Lauren."

Celene started toward the exit, but two ladies intercepted her on the way and coaxed her to join their table of three.

Lauren glanced around as everyone looked up at her. She opened her mouth a couple of times but nothing came out. Suddenly, with a stomp of her black stiletto, she stalked toward the same exit, pausing only long enough to get her fur coat from the makeshift coat check station. No one stopped her, and she made a big deal of flinging the door open and disappearing up the stairs.

I took a sip of wine and smiled at Jenna. "I wonder what we're having for dinner?"

"You, my love, are completely forgiven for this morning and about a month of Sundays, if not longer." Jenna squeezed my hand, her eyes shiny. "Fiancée?"

"It worked." I shrugged and winked at her. "Just say we're even and we can have make-up sex tonight."

"Oh, by all means."

###

"Ladies and, well...ladies. It is my pleasure to introduce the first act of our entertainment for the evening. Please welcome to the stage, Mavis Barclay," Brad said from the stage. He led the applause and then stepped to the side as a buxom black lady in a floor-length green, sequined gown came out of the wings and approached the microphone.

Mavis had a lovely, deep soprano voice. She reminded me of Ella Fitzgerald and Lena Horne. I couldn't help moving to the popular, upbeat Christmas songs, all sung with her own little flair. The audience even clapped along to some of them.

Brad stopped by our table with fresh drinks and apologized for Lauren's behavior after about three numbers into the act. He slipped me a folded piece of paper when Jenna wasn't looking, and then gave me a pat on the shoulder before he left.

I opened the paper down in my lap and tried not to react.

'Excuse yourself to the restroom when Mavis sings 'O Holy Night.' Your costume is backstage.'

I gulped and crumpled the paper in my fist, my other hand shaking as I reached for my glass of SoCo and Coke. I was really going through with this.

I don't know how I lasted the next five songs. When the familiar chords of 'O Holy Night' came through the sound system, I almost jumped out of my chair. I took several deep breaths and then leaned toward Jenna, whispering that I had to use the restroom.

Why did it always seem like the world stopped moving when I walked across the floor of Maggie's Lounge? Tonight was no exception. The only difference this time was that everyone's eyes were on Mavis, not me. At least for the moment.

Brad met me in the back hallway and ushered me through a door with a metal sign that said 'Employees Only.' He didn't speak until we were in a small room that looked like it was used for storage but had been re-arranged to accommodate a small table with a mirror framed in bare bulbs. A narrow clothes rack with three outfits hanging from the single rod hugged the wall next to the table. But all around it were stacked boxes with labels written in bold, black marker.

"Are you okay with doing this?" Brad shut the door and pulled one of the hangers off the rack.

"Yeah, I've psyched myself up." I blew out my breath and stared at the outfit that now dangled from his fingertips. "Jenna wanted us to perform in the last act."

Brad's eyebrows went up and he whistled long and low. "Now that would have been something to see."

I glared at him and then giggled nervously. "I told her no way. I was surprised you'd even allow that here."

"You'd be amazed at what you can get away with at a private club. Especially when it's invitation only to a party like this." He held my elbow while I stepped out of my heels and then helped me unzip my dress.

"I'm just glad you were able to fit me in. I thought it would be fun, and it's a good way for me to break out of my shell."

"Trust me, Kat. The ladies are going to eat you up regardless. You're lucky we had the pole installed just a few weeks ago. It's secured to the stage floor behind a curtain, so no worries about being too rough. I didn't realize you knew how to use one."