If Great Authors Wrote Porn #04

The Innocents Abroad

For months the Great Pleasure Excursion to Europe and the Holy Land was chatted about in the newspapers. Its like had not been thought of before. It was to be a picnic on a gigantic scale. The participants were to sail away in a great steamship with flags flying and take a royal holiday in many a strange clime and land renowned in history!

What was there about lacking in that program? Nothing, that any finite mind could discover, except one question. I was a young man, and of course the thought occurred to my mind, "Will I lack for female companionship on this expedition?" I therefore made inquiries, and was gratified to learn that the passenger list composed three ministers of the gospel, several military and naval chieftains, eight doctors, sixteen ladies of various ages, and also the daughters of four of the above ranging in age from eighteen to twenty-one. Thinking that among such a selection of fair ones I should surely find the adventure a young man desires, I promptly booked passage.

The vessel was appointed to sail on a Saturday early in June. I reached the ship and found all bustle and confusion. I waited my time, and soon seeing a family with a young daughter approaching, managed to be standing at the bottom of the gangway just in time to offer to take her valise and give her my arm as we went on board. This of course, led to introductions and an invitation from her papa to dine with them soon. Slipping away, I made my way back ashore and performed the same gallant maneuver with the other three young ladies as they boarded the ship also. They were a well assorted lot, and of them all a certain Miss Mary T. caught my attention by her coquettish ways, and also by the elegant fashion in which I found her firm young boob pressing my arm as we climbed aboard. I made a mental note to pay more attention to Miss Mary.

We weighed anchor, and went to sea. I thought that never was such gladness in the air before, such brightness in the sun, such beauty in the sea. As we left the harbor, I decided to promenade around the deck. It was breezy and pleasant, but the sea was very rough. One could not promenade without risking his neck. One's safest course, that day, was to clasp a railing and hang on; walking was too precarious a pastime. As I was engaging in this prudent conduct, comfortably ensconced against a pillar and holding hard to the rail, I was gratified to behold Miss Mary T. also attempting to make a promenade. Just as she approached me, the ship was taking deadly aim at the sun with its bowsprit, and the next moment it was trying to harpoon a shark in the bottom of the ocean.

By means of a happy accident I was able to place myself in such a manner as to be able to render aid to Miss Mary just as the ship pitched. In honest fact, the tossing precipitated her bodily into my arms. With a little gasp, she threw her arms around my neck to steady herself. This was well enough in itself, but after the immediate danger was over, she pressed her body even closer to mine, holding tight around my neck and rubbing her tits and groin against me in a most personal way.

Without preliminary, she breathlessly whispered in my ear, "Mama and papa have a date to play whist after dinner. Come to my cabin when the card players begin their evening." Nothing could have been more warming to my heart, not to say raising to my cock. I replied, "I shall be delighted." and then, in a louder voice, "Permit me now to escort you below?"

She nodded so I took the liberty of placing my arm around her waist, lest there should be another sudden movement of the ship, and together we proceeded to her family's cabin. She made sure that I knew the cabin number and the deck, and then showed me an intricate little knock that I could use to identify myself. Allowing me to caress her tits gently in farewell, she slipped inside, looking back with a smile that was full of the promise of further delights.

This was shaping up to be a delightful voyage in every way. It was with a glad heart that I listened to the dinner bell ring at six that evening. By seven o'clock dinner was about over; an hours promenade on the upper deck followed, and each time around as I encountered the lovely Miss Mary and her patriarchal father and antediluvian mother I bowed gently. My loins quivered each time she smiled and dimpled as she curtsied in return, her low cut gown providing a gentle glimpse at the rounded tops of her boobs. I dared show no further interest, however, under Mama's stern gaze. Soon the gong sounded and most of the passengers returned to the large saloon for cards. I loitered around the door until I saw that Mama and Papa T. were well into their game, and then silently slipped out of the room.

The motion of the ship had again increased, and I stumbled down the passage like a drunken man. I attribute that solely to the deck rising and falling under my feet, and would not admit to a giddiness at the thought of Miss Mary awaiting me in her cabin. Learned men may disagree but I am sticking to that story. I sounded the intricate triple rap she had taught me, my cock twitching in my trousers as I did. The door opened just a slit and I saw her merry eyes, one of them closed in a teasing wink. The door opened a bit more and a slim bare arm reached out and quickly drew me inside. Behind me the door clicked shut. Before me, to my amazement, I beheld the lovely Miss Mary, not in the voluminous gown which was her common dress aboard, not even in her shift or petticoats. Her body was wrapped only in a linen sheet from the bunk, pulled tight over her tits and leaving her white shoulders bare.

Just then the ship decided to sink away from under us, and the motion impelled this soft body directly into my arms. She clutched me tightly, pressing against me under the thin sheet, and as the ship righted herself, she giggled and began to unbutton my waistcoat. My shirt swiftly followed and as it fell to the floor, so did the sheet covering that delicious body. I felt her naked tits press into my bare chest, the nipples hard with excitement, and softly rub back and forth. No true gentleman could fail to salute such a grand display, and of course my hands were soon busy entertaining those soft mounds.

By this time my cock was threatening to pop the buttons of my trousers. Gently those soft hands rubbed over it and then began to work on the buttons. She showed a delightful talent in this direction and rapidly lowered my trousers over my knees. I was happy to remember that I had felicitously chosen clean cotton drawers this morning as she quickly dispatched them also. Now my manly shaft stood out like the flagpole on a steamboat, and she dropped to her knees before me and proceeded to her work with a will.

I threw back my head and moaned gently as those soft lips worked their way around the head of my dick, and then slowly sucked it into her mouth. I had often seen from the pilot house on the Mississippi the great cylinder heads working up and down as the engines were fired, and it was with equal satisfaction that I watched the head of this girl work up and down on my cock. I felt the same feeling of proprietorship in that cock as I had felt in the steamboat plowing down the middle of the river. Faster and faster she went, and it was not long before I had a full head of steam and was moving mightily toward the quay.

But now the ship took to rocking again, and the whole operation took on a new aspect. Just as I would thrust my cock toward her throat, that blasted ship would decide to roll the other way and I would find myself dangling in space. She would try to get her lips back around it, and the ship would toss its head another direction and she might miss entirely. This was disconcerting, to say the least, and I cursed old Neptune in my head again and again. Just as I would begin to drive deeply with the greatest pleasure, he would toss the ship again and leave my bowsprit pointing as high in the heavens as the ship's was.

Finally we concluded to give this operation up as a dry well, and I pushed Miss Mary back onto the bunk. This proved to be a more stable platform, merely rocking back and forth with the ship. Carefully spreading her white thighs, I took a careful sighting on the wet pink pussy there and plunged my shaft toward it. Alas, just then old Neptune shook his trident again and I wound up driving a furrow along her thigh and into the long grass.

She was no less disconcerted than I, and endeavored to correct the situation. Her hips heaved up to capture my shaft, and with great good luck so did the ship. I plunged into the warm wetness, and gave a sigh of satisfaction. Now we began to learn in earnest to take advantage of the motion of the ship, and let it control the speed and depth of motion we shared. The ship pressed up and drove her pussy against my shaft and I heaved. Then the ship decided to drop down over a wave, and my dick slid almost out of its goal. Again the ship rose up and again I plunged my cock deep into her cunt, and again pulled out as the ship tossed.

We kept up this uneven contest with the elements for some time, and by letting the ship win the battle soon were racing toward our climaxes. Together we pressed together and let the ship rock us, producing the most delightful feelings of pleasure. Finally the ship gave one great upward pitch and then dived down to the bottom of the sea, and my cock penetrated far into her wet depths and both of us cried out as we came together. Then locked in a deep embrace we let the ship rock us back and forth as we relaxed.

Eventually the time came to leave. I searched for my clothes about the room, scattered here and there by our hurry to come together and the assistance of the ship tossing about as we had thrown them around the stateroom. I managed to make something of a toilet, although I fear my waistcoat was seriously awry and the buttons far from their proper places. With one final warm embrace, I slid open the stateroom door and emerged into the corridor.

To my amazement, I had not taken two steps before I beheld coming down the passage none other than the patriarch and the whale. Shuffling toward them with downcast eyes, with quaking heart I heard him say, "Why, what the devil are you doing here, youngster? Ain't your cabin on the other deck?"

Of course I had no lie ready, and in those circumstances a man is at a disadvantage. It is always best to prepare your lies ahead of time, and then they rip right out easily. But when you haven't had time to think it over, they seem to stick in your throat and not want to slide out. I stammered and muttered something about being confused with the weather, and the ship rocking sending me astray. Just then, to my gratification, she gave a good heavy lurch and all of us were forced to grab a rail. Thinking furiously I allowed this lurch to propel me a good way down the passage, and thus escaped from the glaring parents. I breathed a silent prayer that my pretty companion had managed to put the sheets back on the bed and hide her delicious body under them before being surprised.

Thus the time passed merrily while at sea. I learned that two of the girls aboard the ship were of strict religious denominations and spent their after dinner hours in the chapel in prayer. But Miss Mary and one other girl were decidedly of different persuasions and were glad to welcome myself, and several other of the young men aboard, to participate in their after dinner services. The comradeship thus constituted among the young folk was very close and the older passengers were heard often to comment what fine flowers of American youth we all were as we sported on deck during the day. No doubt some of them wondered where certain of our number were after dinner, but they were too much engaged in either church services or whist to inquire too deeply.

It seemed that but little time passed in this desirable fashion before excitement spread through the ship as we neared the continent of Europe. Very soon we steamed into the great city of Marseilles, near to nightfall. My friend Dan and I contracted with a waterman for the privilege of using his boat as a bridge, and set foot in France! Of course, the first thing we wanted to do was to see the notorious Can-Can dancers. We approached a young man standing under a lamppost, smoking a French cigarette which by its smell seemed to be made of horse dung scraped off the streets. Dan confidentially approached him and said, "Pardon, Monsewer, noos vooloons vwar le danse du can can?"

The young man looked perplexed. As all Americans do when speaking to foreigners, Dan raised his voice and shouted at the young man, "Monsewer, noos avons lee deesire oo lee dansoos du lee can can!" Again, there was no response but a perplexed look.

Dan was becoming annoyed. "Blast it, man, don't you understand perfectly good French?" he cried.

The young man dropped his vile cigarette and said, "Blimey, mate, why didn't you speak English at first? I don't understand any of your buggered French!"

It developing that our new acquaintance was a member of Her Majesty's Navy on shore leave, we promptly hailed each other as warm friends, based on our shared language in this strange land. Finding that the sailor had the same intentions that we did, we proceed to search for some low dive where the notorious can can might be displayed. Sudden a domed and filigreed white temple appeared to our view. Seeing no other place more likely to gratify our desires, we took a chance on this one. Within it was a drinking saloon and all around it a broad platform for the dancers. Twenty sets formed, the music struck up, and then -- I placed my hands before my face for very shame. But I looked through my fingers. This is the can can. The idea of it is to dance as wildly as you can, and if you are a woman, expose yourself as much as possible.

The girls grasped their dresses with both hands, raised them pretty high, danced an extraordinary jig that had more exposure about than any jig I ever saw, and then launched a vicious kick. Their silk bloomers were on display for the edification of all in the audience. Then they turned their backs and flipped their dresses up so that their underpinnings in that area were on full display, tantalizingly pulled tight across their pretty little butts. Well, this show was good enough for my custom anytime. But then alarming things began to happen.

First, the girls partners seemed to be wanting to fondle the soft material over their chests, but then as the drums came to a great roll, they pulled their hands away and there seemed to be some sort of a wardrobe malfunction. Every one of those unfortunate girls lost the top of her dress, bringing out a display of feminine boobs such as I had never had the joy to observe before. Now they were dancing and kicking in a way that had never been seen on earth since Tam O'Shanter saw the witches and goblins at their orgies outside the wee kirk. Their boobs bounced and their butts wiggled.

I whispered to Dan, "Should we leave?" That is, I thought about whispering that to Dan. I had every intention of whispering that to Dan. But somehow what came out was, "We have to see what comes next."

I know Dan intended to respond, "Of course we should leave," but what he actually whispered was, "We sure do!"

Well, after kicking and wiggling her tits some more, each of the girls turned to face her partner and spread her legs wide. The men then slid right under the girls skirts. As if that was not enough to bring a blush to any right minded observer, as the men emerged from under the skirts it could be seen that each waved a silky pair of bloomers in the air! The girls shrieked, but then they began to lift their skirts again, showing bare legs and a glimpse of more above them. They turned their backs and flipped up their skirts, and we were presented with an array of glorious moons as big and round as any I ever saw over the Mississippi on a dark night. Then they turned around again, raised their skirts high, and started to kick.

Now we truly saw a spectacle, as each girl presented a somewhat different aspect. Some were dark, with heavy pubic hair over pink pussy lips. Others were blonde with light sparse hair and cunts that were almost white. There was one flaming redhead who duplicated that feature over her pussy and presented an amazing spectacle. As they kicked their pussies opened and closed in unison and they continued to shriek in delight.

This, then, was the notorious Can-Can. Dan and I looked at each other, and our minds had but a single thought. If the can-can was such a success, how much more so must be the famous French filles de joie? But where were to find these flowers of delight? Dan nudge me, and pointed to our Naval associate. With the unerring instinct that men of his profession seem to possess, he had clearly taken aim on his objective near the far wall, and was in the process even now of boarding her. A number of her sister ships sailed the same course, so Dan and I turned our compasses in that direction.

Neither Dan nor I seemed to be of a mind to essay another voyage into the French language, so we simply approached the girls jingling a few pieces of American gold specie in our hands. The filles seemed well acquainted with this method of communication, and we speedily concluded our agreements, I with a delightful little girl of pale skin and blonde hair, with white tits spilling out the front of her chemise, whose name was Marie, and Dan with a somewhat larger girl of dark hair and face, whose bountiful boobs seemed ready to burst their container. She was called Celeste.

Led by the filles de joie, we ascended a stairway into the upper hallway. Naturally we had expected to be led to separate chambers, but the girls giggled and opened the door to one large room equipped with two bedsteads. Pushing me down on one, and Dan on the other, they astonished us by beginning a show that we had not expected to be part of our contract.

First delicately holding each other by the waist, they gently kissed, and then pulling closer together in passionate embrace, impaled their tongues into each others mouths and were soon deep kissing and rubbing their tits against each other in a most exciting way. Soon Marie turned her back to her colleague, and was speedily disencumbered of her dress and petticoat, leaving her in bloomers and a black corset. Celeste's hands roamed over her soft shoulders, down to the silky fabric over her ass and legs, and up into the space where the silk covered her pussy. Then the positions were reversed and Celeste was as swiftly divested of her dress. Her corset was brilliant red and pushed her delicious boobs up to the point of almost spilling out. She turned and Marie kissed her all over from the shoulders and neck down into that deep cleavage. Then skillfully Marie opened the clasps of the corset and let it fall to the floor, thus presenting Celeste's large boobs and hard nipples to our view. As Marie caressed those soft globes, I could feel my cock straining against my trousers, and looking at the other bed observed manifestations in Dan's lower regions which indicated he shared the experience.

Now Marie's corset was removed, and her small pink nipples were sought by Celeste's mouth. Sucking gently, she clearly brought pleasure to Marie, who cast back her head and moaned softly. Celeste's hand again sought the soft place between Marie's legs and we could see the dampness spreading over the fabric. Putting her hand inside the bloomers, Celeste skillfully pulled them down so that she could caress Marie's pussy. At first she probed softly into the pink lips under the blond hair, but then with more and more force and swiftness. Marie's hips moved toward her hand and rotated slowly.

Now Celeste turned around again, and Marie was able to drop her corset and reach around her to grasp her large boobs and squeeze the dark nipples. Then Marie slid her hands down the others ass and pulled her bloomers off. As this happened my hand seemed to develop a mind of its own and crept toward my crotch, following old habits. I was forced to speak sternly to it, and demand that it retire from its objective and leave that to the ladies now before us. It is well when traveling to learn new ways from the inhabitants of the land.