If You Want To Be Happy

Well, it was nothing like that. There's even a group of volunteers that make certain no one acts inappropriately. You could bring your kids there and they wouldn't see anything more than a bunch of naked people, some with nice bodies, some - to put it kindly - with bodies best left unseen. Without sounding conceited, Tess and I were among the best looking couples there. Since there were more men on the beach than woman, Tess certainly got her share of stares when she removed her shorts and bikini. The most stares I received was when we inadvertently wandered onto the 'gay' section. It took us a couple minutes to figure it out and we got the hell out of there back to the 'straight' section. Not my scene (as Seinfeld would say – not that there's anything wrong with it).

Tess was a big hit at the nightclubs. I had to practically beat the would be Latin Lotharios off with a stick. It was amazing how many asked Tess to dance, some of them had a hard time accepting her refusal. She did dance with one man, he approached our table, offered to buy us a drink and politely asked me if he could ask Tess for a dance. While we waited for the drinks to arrive we had a friendly conversation, he was a gentleman. I asked Tess if she would like to dance with him, she agreed and they walked onto the dance floor. He didn't try to move her into a dark corner or away from where I could see them and he didn't put his hands where they shouldn't roam. I watched them dance and realized I was not the kind of man who could ever share his wife with another man. Even this innocent dance was enough to get my blood boiling. When they got back to the table I politely made it clear we were done for the night. He thanked us both and left.

"What was that about?" she asked, "He was a perfect gentleman."

"And if he wasn't I probably would have cut in and maybe gotten into a fight. I'm not into sharing."

"John, you never have to worry about me."

"OK, sorry babe. Maybe watching all those guys stare at your naked body at the beach today and watching you dance with him just got to me. I love the way you look, but that dress clings to your body as if you're still naked and it was almost as if he was holding your naked body next to his. Are you even wearing underwear?"

Tess got a wicked look on her face. "Want to find out? Let's go back to the room."

When we got into the room Tess had me sit in the big chair. She stripped off her dress and answered my question, not a stitch of underwear, not even that tiny thong she bought for our honeymoon. Tess kept her high heels on and sat in my lap, this must be what a lap dance is like in those strip joints. A beautiful, naked woman rubbing her body all over you. My cock was getting rock hard in my pants when Tess decided to increase the tension.

"I feel your cock growing and rubbing my clit. I bet I could get off like this. I think these pants will need to be dry cleaned tomorrow because I'm leaking all over your crotch. I love your cock and I love the way it grows because of me. It's so hard and so big."

Tess continued to slide back and forth against the cloth covered hard-on. I reached up and grabbed her breasts, squeezing her nipples between my fingers.

"Keep doing that John, keeping playing with my tits. I'm going to cum all over you. Your cock is so hard, just like Paulo's when we danced together. He didn't touch me with his hands, but I made certain we still connected down there. His cock grew hard and it felt so big. He felt as big as that toy you brought home. I knew that if his cock was in me that it would reach all the way to my cervix, then with just a little effort he would push through and plant his seed inside my womb. Would you be mad if I did that, would you have to reclaim your wife? Do you think your seed would beat out his to my ovaries?"

I didn't know where this was coming from, when did Tess turn into this horny slut with a whore's mouth? But one thing was clear, at that moment her dirty talk was getting to me and I lost control. I came in my pants like some punk at a strip joint.

"Oh Tess – I'm cumming!"

Tess clutched my shoulders, "Me too, baby, I'm cumming with you. Damn that's so good."

We sat there for a moment, suddenly I felt a chill. "Tell me about Paulo."

"Oh, I just made that up. He never touched me with his cock. I told you he was a gentleman. I figured it was a cute fantasy, you're the one that brought that big fake cock to our bed."

"Well, that's a relief, I thought I would have to hunt him down and castrate him. Like I said Tess, no sharing."

"And I told you, you don't have to worry about me. I'm yours and I'll be yours – remember our vows, for better or worse, forsaking all others. When our minister asked if there was anything we wanted changed in the vows, I said "no". Those vows mean everything to me."

I stripped and carried Tess to bed. We slept that night naked, cuddled in each other's arms.

The week was over all too soon and we went back to our work responsibilities and routines in Austin. The honeymoon in Miami did make two things perfectly clear. Number one, I had a bit of a jealous streak in me. Number two, being jealous and married to Tess was going to create some challenges.

Tess is a beautiful woman and a hound magnet; her outgoing, friendly personality is often misinterpreted by the hounds as flirting or availability. Tess doesn't have any intention of sleeping with the guy but doesn't realize he may not feel the same way. Tess grew up with two older brothers that treated her with love and respect, Tess assumes, even at twenty-eight years of age, that most guys are good guys, just like her brothers.

Four months after we were married our world started to fall apart. Mr. Johnson had a massive heart attack and died in his sleep. Everyone at the bank was stunned. This wonderful man with a heart of gold was felled by that same heart. There wasn't a dry eye in the building the day his death was announced. Some of my staff were given the rest of the day off. I had people in my division that started the bank with Mr. Johnson over thirty years earlier.

I was asked to be a pall bearer at his funeral and was honored. In the short three years I worked there, I grew to love this man. After the service I paid my respects to the Johnson family and was met with the cold, hard eyes of his son, Roy Junior. I don't know if I saw such hate in any man's eyes before that day, but I saw it that day.

Roy, Jr. became the CEO, his mom still owned a majority of the stock, but Junior controlled those shares for all intents and purposes. Within two weeks of Roy, Sr.'s funeral I was called into Junior's office.

I knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation when he told me to address him as Mr. Johnson, not Roy.

"John, sorry but I'm letting you go."

I stood there a second. "I don't understand, Mr. Johnson. My evaluations have been excellent since I arrived. I've saved the bank millions of dollars and I was led to believe I'd be promoted in the near future."

"Tough shit John. None of those promises are in your contract and Texas is an 'employment at will' state. Basically I don't need a reason to fire you. There are two security guards waiting at your desk. Pack your personal belongings and be out of your office in thirty minutes."

The asshole was standing there with a smirk on his face. It took every ounce of self-control to not punch that fucker's smile from his face. I knew this would land me in jail and luckily didn't give in to my baser instincts. I turned to see one of our security personnel standing at the door with a Taser aimed at me. I left the headquarters building and headed to the Operation Center.

I didn't have time to stop at Tess's branch to tell her the news and I didn't want to tell her on the phone. I quickly picked up my stuff from my ex-office and hightailed it back downtown. When I tried to enter her branch I was stopped by the guard.

"Sorry, Mr. Capone. I have instructions to refuse you entry."

"What, did someone think I was going to take this out on my wife? Listen, I'll stay here. Please tell Mrs. Baker that her husband is waiting to talk to her. (Tess naturally kept her name, who is going to bank where the branch manager has Capone as her last name?)

Thirty seconds later Tess came running out of the branch. "John, there's a rumor that Johnson fired you. What's going on?"

"I don't know why Tess; he didn't give me a reason. Only that I was out. Listen, don't cry just yet, maybe the Board will overrule Johnson on this. In the meantime, stay low and don't get into trouble over it. If worse comes to worse, I'll have our attorney look into my options, so it's best to be smart. It took everything I had not to knock that little shit's teeth out. Stay smart Tess."

I did talk to our attorney, but I kept any legal action on hold until after the next Board meeting. Unfortunately, the Board voted 3 to 2 to uphold the firing. Texas is an 'at-will' state, but I still was able to get a decent severance package by signing a waver not to sue the bank.

I felt awful. Tess had married this up and comer making big bucks and riding high. Now she was married to an unemployed ex-SVP.

I did find out why Junior hated me so much. He was jealous of the attention his father gave me, Junior had daddy issues compounded by my relationship with Roy Senior. Junior also hated me because I married Tess, it seems Junior had his eye on Tess but never had the balls to follow up on it. I show up, win her heart and he can't stand it.

This wasn't the low point. Things were about to get worse very fast. Within weeks of my dismissal the bank crisis of 2008 accelerated. Banks were closing or merging and bank employees were being thrown out into the street by the thousands while I was busting my butt trying to land a new job. Hundreds of resumes were mailed with barely a nibble to show for the effort.

This also required Tess to keep her job. There was no way she could switch banks even though the thought of her working for Junior bothered us both. So I stayed home mailing resumes and Tess went to work every day for the lousy assholes that threw me away. Tess was a champ through all this; she did her best to buck me up with words of encouragement. I can't count the number of times she said, "John, I didn't marry the SVP, I married you. These companies are fools not to hire you. We'll get through this."

I even considered changing my surname to Baker, but that would only raise questions if they looked at my school transcripts.

About four months after my firing Tess was told she had to attend a week-long conference in Denver. This would be our first real separation since we were married.

The first night Tess called me from Denver. She was in tears.

"John, Roy Junior is at the conference. I think this was just a ruse to get me alone with him and away from you. I couldn't even concentrate, he sat right next to me in most of the sessions then asked me to have dinner with him tonight. I think I'm going to fake an illness and come home tomorrow."

I had to think, it was tough because I was so mad that my brain cells were shutting down.

"Wait, babe. Stay in your room tonight and order room service. I'll be there tomorrow evening. Hang in there one more day. Go to your sessions and don't tell Junior I'm coming."

We spoke for another half hour and I calmed her down. When we hung up I booked a flight to Denver.

The hotel had instructions to give me a room key. I sat in her room waiting for Tess to finish the last session of the day. She walked in and we hugged each other as if there was no tomorrow.

"Give Junior a call, tell him to come on up."

"John, you're not going to do anything stupid, are you? Please don't do something that will land you in jail."

"Don't worry. I may be a Capone, but I'll use my head, not violence."

Tess called Junior and asked him to her room. I'm sure he thought this was his lucky day. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. Tess let him in and he didn't see me in the corner until after she had locked the deadbolt. He turned white when he saw me. It helped I was holding a putter purchased earlier in the resort's pro shop.

"Sit down Junior."

Junior sat in the chair I held for him. I placed myself between him and the door.

"You can leave now Tess, I'll be downstairs to join you for dinner after Junior and I discuss his problems."

"John, remember what we talked about."

"He'll be OK; we're just going to talk."

My promise to Tess to only talk must have screwed his courage up, that and the booze I smelled on his breathe, because as soon as Tess left Junior spoke, "I've already fucked her, you know. Last night after she joined me for a late dinner."

This threw me for a second. My Tess with this asshole? But I quickly recovered, "No you didn't, you shit. She wouldn't have anything to do with your scrawny peewee dick. You're nothing but a pimple on a horse's ass."

"You'll never know Capone. What you going to do, kill me like your namesake?"

"OK, asswipe, tell me one distinguishing feature about Tess's body. If you fucked her, you'd have seen it."

He paused for a second, then "A tattoo."

Oh fuck, now what? But then I realized this was too simple, he's just guessing. "If it's a tattoo, what does it look like?"

Had him!

"A butterfly."

"EHHHH, wrong answer, Hans!" (OK, I've seen Die Hard too many times and couldn't help myself.)

I decided to unload. His lie that he fucked my wife deserved one of my own.

"Junior, this is why your father didn't like you, this is why he always wanted me as his golf partner and not you. This is why you're only in your position because your father died before he could change his will.

"The week before he died he told me he was getting rid of you, he said you were worthless, he was ashamed you were his son and the only reason you had a job was because your mother cried on his shoulder to keep you there. But he decided enough was enough, you were history.

"You're just a pile of dung and that's why Tess is my wife and not yours, and why she wouldn't fuck you if you were the last man on Earth."

I don't think I've seen a man so crushed in my life. He had no way of knowing that I made up the part about his father disinheriting him, but his lack of self-esteem told him it was true. Add my statements to the fact that the bank was sinking fast due to the economy and Junior's poor management and here was a broken man.

One week later the Board voted to sell the bank to a mega-bank headquartered in North Carolina. Junior was worth a couple million from the deal, but much less than he would have been worth just six months earlier. And a couple million wouldn't make up for his lack of self-image. Last I heard he moved back to his mother's house and spent every night at the country club drinking too much.

But that didn't end my troubles. I was still out of work and Tess still needed her job, now working for mega-bank. Part of my problem with finding another job was my reluctance to move out of the region. Robin was in Austin and the thought of seeing her only a few times a year broke my heart.

It didn't take long for one of the mega-bank SVPs to take notice of Tess; a beautiful woman with style. Unfortunately, mega-bank still had a good old boy attitude when it came to women in the work place. Rumor had it that it wasn't uncommon for the bank to have a lawsuit going at any given time with the claim of sexual harassment against some manager.

Chris Haynes was the SVP in charge of the Southwest branch network. Within six months he reorganized his managers. Tess was given a promotion, she had just turned thirty and was now responsible for twelve branches in the Austin area; she also reported directly to Haynes.

I finally landed a job roughly the same time as Tess's promotion. It was as a second shift operations supervisor in a medium sized credit union. I was offered a quarter of what I'd been making at my last job with a fraction of the responsibility, but it was a job.

I tried not to let it affect my ego, but now Tess is a VP with loads of responsibilities and I'm a second shift supervisor. She married a winner and now I'm an also ran. It didn't help that my second shift schedule interfered with our together time and our love life. What had been an active, energetic sex life became once a week on Saturdays. Damn, she didn't sign up for this.

But I'll say this, Tess never once showed any less love for me than before my luck started circling the drain. When we were together she was still her charming, loving, affectionate self. She treated me with love and respect. It was my own ego and how I thought people were reacting to me that became an issue.

With Tess's new position came the requirement that she travel to Atlanta every month for two to three days. Since we saw little of each other during the week her travel schedule didn't have much of an effect on our time together. But gradually I could see the signs of stress on her face after she came home. I asked her more than once what was troubling her, but either she didn't want to burden me with her problems or she was hiding something.

One thing she did share was her desire to start a family, even if it meant living on one salary, either her as a housewife or me as a househusband. We'd cross that bridge if and when she got pregnant. Tess got off the pill, but we didn't adjust our schedules, so it might take an act of God for her to conceive.

For the next nine months we held on. I didn't stop searching for a better position, I'd be damned before I became a househusband. I needed a new job with a decent schedule and a decent salary.

Here's something I'm ashamed to admit. It's the only secret I intend to take to my grave and pray Tess never learns of my indiscretion. Five months after we decided to try for a child I used my personal, mad-money account funds and hired a private detective. I had Tess watched for a full week while I was working the second shift and when she went on one of her trips to Atlanta.

The detective didn't have anything to report during the week in Austin. Tess went out two nights during the week. One night she went to her parent's house, the other she met a girlfriend for coffee.

The two days in Atlanta were more disturbing. The detective watched Tess and her boss have dinner at the hotel she was staying in. They ate dinner, but Tess limited her drinking to one glass of wine. There was a long discussion during dessert, Tess kept on shaking her head. The detective couldn't hear the conversation, but it appeared Haynes was trying to talk Tess into spending the night together and Tess was refusing.

The detective stayed nearby as Tess rose and headed to the elevators. He watched Haynes as Haynes watched Tess go into the elevators. Before the doors shut Haynes jumped into the elevator. The detective was hanging back too far and couldn't get in before the doors closed, but did get a photo with his cell phone of Haynes forcing a kiss on Tess. The detective pushed the up button and when the second elevator opened a minute later, Haynes walked off this elevator rubbing his face which looked as if it had been smacked. The detective followed Haynes to his car and watched him drive away.

So that's what Tess was dealing with. Why didn't she let me know? Probably because she still feared I'd wind up in jail.

After I received the detective's report I tried to get Tess to open up without giving away what I knew and how I knew it. I finally came right out with it after her next visit to Atlanta.

"Tess, is there something going on with you and Haynes?"

She looked at me as if I shot her.

"How can you ask me that? I've done nothing to disrespect our wedding vows."