I'm Now Called Dee Ch. 08

I'd now been on the waiting list, for my surgery, for almost two years and now had a date in less than a month. I was lucky because living in the U.K., our overstretched and understaffed health service, cared enough to offer people the chance to live as the gender they preferred. I know this wasn't possible in other countries, the costs being prohibitive for some in my situation.

Dad still wouldn't see me or talk to me, but mum was now proud of her 'daughter'. She loved to go shopping with her two girls, as she referred to me and Kate. If we were trying on clothes, we would wander into each other's cubicles to ask opinions, so mum often saw me in my lingerie.

One day she said, "you look beautiful in your lingerie. I've never had anything like it, it would be wasted on your father."

That was first and only time I had any clue about mum's life. Did I detect a hint of disappointment with the intimate side of her life?

Kate's family were brilliant, even my once bratty sister-in-law Ellie. Now almost 22, with a steady boyfriend. When she was 18 she had burst into the bathroom to pee and caught me, wearing lingerie and adjusting my false breasts. I'd seen parts of her that no brother-in-law should see.

We all knew she had progressed from the 'they can finger not fuck' and 'I'll suck not fuck' stage. When she and her boyfriend stayed over at our house we could hear them making love in the spare room, and the evidence left on the sheets confirmed. The sounds of them making love, turned both Kate and me on. The whole house would soon filled with the sounds of love making. Ellie's mum was also aware of her love making.

"After all," she said, "I'm the one that washes her knickers."

We all wondered why they hadn't yet moved in together. Kate's family openness about sex never ceased to amaze me, my family had never been like that.

I fantasised about her shaved pussy. One of my favourite stories on Literotica, was the turning of an innocent church girl into a cunt worshipper. I imagined a post op me, introducing Ellie to the joys of sex with a woman, I didn't think she'd ever tried it.

Another story I liked, was where the main character was a transvestite with an abusive boyfriend who is cheating on him/her with another woman. I wasn't that sort of girl and couldn't understand why s/he hadn't kicked him into touch. Nobody whatever their sexual preferences should be treated like that.

Sometimes in my head I was the mistress and she was my pet. I would make her go down on me and slowly lick, nibble, tongue fuck and lap up my juices till I eventually came. If she was a good pet I would reward her with a finger fuck. Other times the idea of her straddling my head and lowering herself onto my face, so I could explore every nook and cranny of her hot steamy sex, appealed. I would nibble her lips, run my tongue from her ass to her clit and back, suck her clit and my favourite bit would be my nose buried in her wet slit and her grinding herself on it. I wanted to feel her cum on my face, while she fisted me.

Of course I never shared this fantasy with Kate or anybody else, nor would I ever initiate such action.

The day finally came for my op, Kate and my mum accompanied me to the clinic. By that time I'd read all I could and watched videos repeatedly. I knew every cut and snip off by heart, but no amount of reading prepared me for how much pain I would be in after the op. The nurses were wonderful, giving me painkillers, instructing me how to care for my post op genitals, with sitz baths, dilators and what to expect during the healing process.

During my convalesce, I read a lot, and not just Literotica. I found an article about the first recorded instance of a transgender woman breastfeeding because her pregnant partner didn't want to. I thought, wouldn't that be fantastic if we decided to have a child, and we shared the breastfeeding. That had me thinking, I searched the internet, could a transgender woman have a foetus implanted and give birth? Surprisingly I'd not been the first to wonder and I wasn't so far off the mark. There'd been some recent uterus transplants for women, who for whatever reason had damaged uteruses, resulting in them being able to give live births. This also gave hope that transgender women could have a uterus transplant, but that might not happen for some time yet.

As my healing progressed Kate and Ellie persuaded me that I needed some skin tight jeans, I hadn't worn trousers, except pyjama trousers, for over three years now. When I tried some on, I had to agree they looked amazing. I ended up buying two pairs, a couple of blouses and a pair of high heeled ankle boots to complete the look.

With the scaring almost gone, I was once again fantasising about revenge sex. I also wanted to know how it felt as a woman to have sex with a man. What would a hard cock in my cunt feel like? What would it feel like to have him cum inside me. I loved Kate and didn't want to hurt her, but I had to know how my new body worked. Kate told me she understood.

"After all you let me live my fantasy with Cynthia, I have to let you experiment," she said.

Ellie stayed over with us after a party one Friday. The next morning it was just us three girls lounging about in our pyjamas.

Ellie turning to me said "can I see your op?"

I was gobsmacked. On the one hand I was proud of it, and did want people to know, but she was my sister-in-law, and I'd had fantasies about her.

"We're all family, girls together," said Kate, "it's OK."

Desperately trying to suppress my fantasies, at the same time thinking, I saw yours that day you burst into the bathroom. I took off my pyjama bottoms and opened my legs. Her hand reached out to examine me. What happened next shocked both me and Kate. Until she touched me I hadn't realised just how wet I was, her fingers parted my lips one of them slipping inside me and her thumb caressed my hard clit. I let out a little moan.

"ELLIE!" cried Kate.

She pulled her finger out, sniffed it and licked it.

"If you weren't my sister-in-law, I'd be tempted to go down on you."

I grabbed my pyjama bottoms and scurried upstairs, shutting myself in the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet sobbing, my emotions at war in my head, yet needing to finish what Ellie had started. Stuffing the corner of a towel in my mouth, I masturbated furiously.

Meanwhile downstairs.

"Oh Kate I'm so so sorry. I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't expect her to look...so...so...so womanly. When I touched her and felt her arousal...I don't know what came over me. Forgive me, I apologise to you both."

"Ellie I forgive you, but you need to speak with Dee. She is the one person I forbid you to have sex with. What I ask of you is to treat her with care. She is still getting used to her new body and she doesn't seem to know how to control herself yet. ...Is the reason you haven't moved in with Mike yet, because you want to be free for lesbian sex?"

"No, I'm just not yet sure that Mike is the one. I've never been with another woman. I've often heard the two of you making love, when I've stayed over. When we were younger and mum and dad went out leaving you and a girlfriend to babysit me, I would spy on the two of you. I didn't understand what you were doing at the time, I just thought you were playing a fun game. It wasn't till I was older that I understood."

"Hmm, I did suspect you of spying on us, but was enjoying myself too much to care about what you thought. We also hear you and Mike making love when you stay over, and I have to admit, it turns us on."

"Haha... you pervs. No seriously, don't you miss a good fuck? A cock in your cunt?"

"Oh Ell...no I don't miss a cock in my cunt, as you so eloquently put it. A dildo works well, it doesn't go limp like a man does when he's cum and I'm not left unsatisfied, with cum dribbling out of me."

"I agree up to a certain point, but I like to feel living flesh inside me and I like the feel of him shooting his load in me. Maybe you didn't find the right man."

"I did, Dave wasn't the first male I bedded, but he was the only one who seemed to understand me the way my girlfriends had. The others, once they had cum, seemed to forget I needed my own orgasm. That's why when s/he came out with her fantasy about being lesbian, I didn't discourage her. I realised I had also been living a lie. Apart from the fact she will never have a period or experience pregnancy, Dee is all woman."

"I can see advantages in never having a period, and some women don't want pregnancy," said Ellie.

"Yes, but Dee will never have that choice."

When they came upstairs, Kate found me slumped in front of the vanity mirror in my underwear. I'd started my makeup but couldn't concentrate. She sat next to me and put her arms round me. I turned and buried my head in her chest, blubbing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I kept repeating.

She hugged me, rocked me and stroked my hair.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, you didn't do anything. ... Let's get you cleaned up and dressed, ready to face the world."

While she helped me get ready, she told me about her conversation with Ellie.

There was a knock on our bedroom door and a timid voice asked if she could come in.

"Come in," said Kate and turning to me, "I think Ellie has something to say to you."

Ellie came and gave me a hug, saying, "I'm sorry Dee, I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to hit on you."

"I'm not sure I could have resisted if you had," I said.

"You need to try some cock, girl, ...and I need to find myself a woman," she replied.

"Yes, we're going clubbing tonight. It's time you tried a penis in you," said Kate.

"Haha... what she means is it's time you got a good fuck. Have fun, and call me next week, to tell me all about it," said Ellie on her way out.

I couldn't believe the pair of them, they were giving me permission to do what I wanted, and that was to get my girl cunt filled!