I'm Over You

Casual observations of the life of someone I knew...

I'm over you...

Lets set the setting. It's a funeral home, the day of a funeral, the rooms a bit out of date, it could stand an update. The room, the largest available, with all the dividers and folding walls opened, is full to overflowing. One might think the person being eulogized was a civic leader or some locally important person, but he wasn't. He was just a carpenter, not even a master carpenter tho he had plenty of time in to have been one. The front rows are filled with his closest family. His second wife, the three stepchildren he helped raise, the toddler they shared. His five children from his first marriage, three of whom he hadn't seen or spoken too in nearly two decades. An empty chair, reserved for Beverly, the first wife. It's warm edging to hot in this room. Way more people than the AC can really handle in late July.

Suddenly the room goes almost completely silent, there's a broken-hearted, sobbing, old before her time figure in black walking down the aisle towards the empty chair. As she approaches it, whispers begin and grow in volume, "how dare she come here. Bet she's faking those sobs. She destroyed him. She here to gloat?"

Beverly takes her seat, next to the three of her children who stood by her nearly twenty years ago when her life went to hell. As she sits there in her grief she reflects back to the night that split her family.

Twenty-some years, a few months and days ago...

Jason had barely opened the front door when his wife if 21 years, Beverly (never Bev) looked him in the eyes and said "meet me in the kitchen after you get out of those dirty sweaty clothes and get cleaned up. We need to talk..."

Things had been tense in the house since February. Jason was seasonally laid off again and had told Beverly they couldn't afford her big valentines plans. She didn't take that well and had gone out on her own to spite him. While she was bar hopping she ran into John, one of the contractors Jason worked for from time to time. John was alone this February 14th because he was in the process of his second divorce. Once again get got caught with his pants around his ankles banging someone else's wife. His first marriage failed because he couldn't keep it in his pants and got Mary, the second wife pregnant. John and Mary had a sort of open relationship in that they were swingers. The reason Mary was divorcing him was that that was something they were supposed to do as a couple with a couple and this was the third time John got caught going solo. As far as Mary was concerned he was cheating again and she was done.

Beverly and John had a good ole time. She met him at 8 in the "Come on Inn" and three bars and six drinks later she was feeling no pain, was still very mad at Jason and was very turned on by the slow dancing with John. When he suggested they go to his place she gave him her hand and said let's go. On the ride over, she called her BFF Sue and asked her to tell Jason or anyone else who might ask that she had spent the night at Sue's. Her next call was to Jason, to tell him she drank too much and was spending the night at Sue's.

She'd like to think the sex that night was wonderful and mind-blowing. Problem was, she didn't remember much of it and after nearly twenty-one years of thinking about it, she'd come to conclusion long ago that it was two drunks rutting in a dirty, smelly bed at best. Sometime during the night, he had taken her ass, without much lube if how sore she was was any indication. She had a love bite, bright purple, on her left breast next to her areola and vomit in her hair. At some point in the night, she had leaned over the side of the bed and emptied her stomach. John hadn't even been enough of a gentleman to hold her hair out of the vomit nor had he bothered to clean it up. Beverly learned that when she swung her legs over and stood up in her own cold puke. A shower did little to make her feel clean and the massive hangover didn't help. John refused to get out of the soiled bed so Beverly called Sue to get a ride to her car. It was at the second bar they had been to last night.

Beverly had left the headlights on so her battery was dead. It was near zero with a brisk 15 mph north wind blowing. Sue had jumper cables and the two women managed to jump start Beverly's car without blowing the frozen battery up. Beverly then headed home.

She knew she had screwed up but thought she could bluster her way through it. As it turned out Jason was angry she hadn't come home but held it back. He knew he'd disappointed her and believed her when she claimed to have slept at Sue's. There'd been earlier arguments when she'd gone to Sue's to tie one on. This time he didn't even check with Sue. Beverly came in the house and acted like she was still pissed off. She continued to be "pissed off" for the nearly two weeks it took for the love bite on her breast to fade.

At first, she felt a lot of guilt. She knew she was punishing Jason for her infidelity. She even reasoned to herself he had it coming by trying to cancel her night out. But as time passed her guilt morphed into contempt. Jason didn't have a clue. He was a trusting fool and it made her feel powerful to have this secret. All that did was set her up for what came later.

John knew she worked the drive-through window at the bank. He made a point of stopping by at least once a day to chat her up and flirt. The first couple times she was almost rude with him but as he persisted she thawed. By the time the love bite faded and she allowed Jason to touch her, the first time in nearly three weeks, it had progressed in her mind that she could get away with more.

That first night with Jason she tried to make up for being a bitch for nearly two weeks. Jason participated but by this time he was pissed off himself. His heart wasn't in it and she could tell. They had fun but it wasn't what it was before. In the morning she was right back in bitch mode for all of 5 minutes. She'd paused to take a breath and Jason jumped down her throat with both feet. He laid into her about her being irresponsible and bar hopping while driving. He went after her for getting too drunk to come home. Chewed her out for being an ice queen to him for the past couple weeks. Told her he'd reached his limit of abuse and if she was going continue, he'd be the next one leaving and staying out. It woke Beverly up just a little. She shut her mouth, choked back her bitter replies and acted contrite. It also solidified the tenuous plans she'd been making about getting with John again.

By the end of March Jason was back at work, for John's company. John had gone out of his way to hire Jason on. John had plans. By mid-April Beverly had spent an afternoon in John's bed again. This time the sex was better and as a bonus she remembered it. They continued to meet on Tuesdays, (her day off), into June. By this time John's divorce was waiting for the final decree. John then started step two of his plans. He fired the receptionist who'd worked for him for ten years. No warning just walked into the office trailer, told Joan "pack your trash, you're done". He then went into his office and called the site security to come and get her. Joan lucked out, her live-in boyfriend knew a dentist who needed a receptionist. She started there 3 days later with a 20% raise. John called Jason into the office and asked him if his wife needed a job. Jason told him she works at the bank already. John told him to tell her I'll pay 3 bucks an hour more to answer my phones.

Jason went home and told Beverly about John's offer. She was surprised by it but told Jason it was tempting. She had a new supervisor who was nit-picking the staff so what the hell, I'll go to work for John too. Beverly gave her notice at the bank and during her exit interview, she made a point of laying the blame for her leaving on the new supervisor.

Now while Beverly and John were getting it on once a week, her contempt for Jason just kept growing. As a result, the frequency of their intimacy declined steadily. What had been 2-3 times a week was down to 2-3 times a month. Beverly found herself looking forward to her Tuesday sfternoons, a girl still had her needs even if it was her cold shoulder keeping them from being met at home. Once she started at John's office they got together anytime they thought they could get away from the place to someplace quiet. She was banging John 4-5 times a week and sometimes a couple times a day. At home, she shut Jason down completely. He waited nearly two months before he confronted her once the kids were in bed. Nothing was resolved that night and the following day was the "we need to talk" conversation.

Beverly told Jason about her affair with John that evening. She told him she wasn't going to quit, but that it would run its course in a couple months and she would make it up to him after it was done. That she felt she deserved the distraction, that he made her feel young and wanted again. She also told Jason that if he tried to divorce her over it she'd rape him in the settlement, that she'd get the house, the kids, the money and that he'd be old and gray before he got done paying. Jason just sat there and looked liked he'd been hit in the head with a bat. Beverly sneered at him and said "seeing as you're not objecting I'm going to spend the night at Sue's to give you time to think about things. The kids are at my mother's."

John had convinced her to have the "come to Jesus" talk with Jason that night and then John would have another with him in the morning at work. Threaten to fire him, tell the other guys on the crews, get him blackballed at the builder's consortium, basically make his life impossible.

Beverly didn't go to Sue's that night, she spent it in John's bed.

The next morning, Jason didn't come into work. At the end of the day, Beverly went home to find Jason's things gone. Tools, guns, clothes, everything identifiable as being his alone was gone. Beverly thought he'd get over his mad and come home in time with his tail tucked. She was wrong. So was John. He had let the crews know he was banging Jason's wife and Jason had quit because of it. He tried to make Jason the butt of every dirty and cuckold joke he could tell. What he didn't notice in his arrogance was that he was the only guy laughing.

It took Jason 5 days, counting the weekend, but on Tuesday he had divorce papers served on Beverly at work. Jason had also managed to talk to each of the kids and let them know exactly what was going on that same day. Beverly came home from a bad day at work to a much worse evening with her children. John's day started bad because of all of his union guys not showing up to work. They did show 3 hours later to set up informational pickets at the gates. The union didn't like the boss screwing the carpenter's wife at all. With the pickets up the union drivers wouldn't cross the line to make deliveries. The other union halls pulled their guys off all the jobs John had ongoing. Basically by 3 pm that day John was looking at the end of his business.

The following day both John and Beverly tried repeatedly to call Jason. No one knew where he was and all calls went to voicemail. Jason never again spoke directly to Beverly.

John tried to hire nonunion workers. Those brave enough or desperate enough to cross the picket lines were actively sought out off-site and "encouraged" to quit. Most did but a desperate few stayed. John picked up a hammer for the first time in years. He was working alongside his substandard help when some scaffolding collapsed. John's neck was fractured at c-7. He ended up in a chair for the rest of his life. He lost his business, control of his body and spent the next 17 years in the county nursing home. He died of complications from septic bed sores.

The affair between Beverly and John didn't last the week she was served.

During the course of the divorce, the kids were asked who they wanted to live with. The girls, the two oldest, picked Jason. The boys their mother. Her promises of dirt bikes and four wheelers had a lot to do with that. It took her a year, but she managed to poison the boys against their dad to the point that they were refusing visitation with him. The girls visited with Beverly but were never close to her again. They went mostly to see their brothers. When it became clear to Jason that the boys didn't want to see him he said fuck it, they don't have to come.

In the meantime, Sue had learned from Jason that Beverly had used her to cover her screwing John. While she and Beverly had been the closest of friends in high school, over the years they saw less and less of each other. Sue was divorced because she got caught cheating on her husband. Beverly had been very judgemental with Sue about Sue's cheating. Sue wasn't happy with Beverly and called her a hypocrite. Beverly got really offended that Sue would throw her own words and judgments back in her face, so she basically ended her friendship with Sue at that point. They saw each other from time to time, strictly by chance, but neither ever sought the other out again.

Jason started drinking, a lot, during the divorce. His favorite bar was walking distance from his trailer. The 14x70 mobile home cost him $2500.00. It needed a lot of work but Jason knew a carpenter. He paid lot rent for the rest of his life. A little over two years after the divorce Beverly walked into the 'Rendevous" bar. She'd come to see if what her daughters were telling her was true. That Jason was taking the divorce hard and wasn't looking all that good. She walked up to Jason and asked if she could sit by him. He shrugged and turned away from her. Beverly pled her case of learning her lesson, of how sorry she was for the hurt it caused. Of how their children were suffering because of it. Jason never said a word. After 5 minutes of her talking to him, he got up, went to the jukebox and played "Your cheating heart" by Hank Sr and "I'm over you" by Keith Whitley. Beverly got the message. She never again tried to get him back.

Jason crawled into a bottle for almost ten years. He had been in a fight behind the "Rendevous" and had lost. He ended up in the hospital. For the first time in a decade, he sobered up all the way. His daughters came to him with an ultimatum. Quit drinking or we're gone. We can't handle it anymore. Decision day for Jason, he chose what family he had left.

Jason started going to AA meetings. He got religion big time. He didn't go to church much but he did all he could to live his Christian values. It was almost too late. Jason had managed to earn the rep of being a drunk on the job. There were only a couple outfits who would employ him at that time. It took Jason five years to get his reputation as a solid worker back. Because he had a lot of free time on his hands Jason started doing volunteer work thru Habitat for Humanity. Jason started a sideline business of being a handyman that eventually became his sole source of income. Keeping up with his volunteer works was easier if he was in charge of his own work schedule. Jason managed to help nearly every needy and elderly person or family within 40 miles of his hometown before he passed.

Jason took his show on the road for awhile. It started with storm damage in a small town in Wisconsin, just across the border. He liked the feeling he got helping people who had lost just about everything. He and his second wife Cindy would drive Jason's work vehicles as far as Kentucky to help put a roof or three back on houses after tornados.

Jason met Cindy at a meeting less than six months after he started going. They hit it off and started dating. Less than a year later they married in a small civil ceremony. Cindy was also a recovering alcoholic. Her marriage to Jason was her third, both prior marriages had cratered because of her drinking. She had three children from those marriages that accepted Jason from the first time they met him. Neither of the bio-dads was current with child support, both lived out of state and neither made any effort to see or be a part of their kid's lives. Jason and Cindy had a little girl together who owned her daddy's heart. Cathy was two when a nearly sixty years old Jason started to feel run down. Two months later the whites of his eyes were highlighter yellow. Cindy browbeat him into going to the Dr. Jason didn't want to go because he was sure it would be bad news. He was right. His heavy drinking and use of Tylenol for his hangovers had damaged his liver, that damage morphed into a malignant liver cancer.

Jason fought as much as a man could to stay with his family. It was a fight he didn't win. Less than 8 months passed between his diagnosis and his passing. His last 2 weeks even heavy doses of morphine couldn't block his pain. By the time of his passing he was literally half the man he used to be. Skin stretched over bones in a suit that didn't fit and laid out in his box. Those who saw him that last month considered his passing a merciful blessing.

The retired circuit court judge who had married Jason and Cindy started the service. He spoke of Jason's life, his struggles, and his triumphs. At the end of the service, he invited everyone to the potluck meal being set up. During the meal, he distributed a number of CDs to the people on a list prepared by Jason shortly after he realized he wasn't going to beat cancer. Each CD was unique and for the person it was given to. Beverly's was no exception. While most of the CDs were expressions of Jason's love and meant to ease their pain, Beverly's was a exception. All that was on her CD was that same song by Keith Whitley, "I'm over you".

Over the years apart from Jason, Beverly had not had an easy life. She dated a lot, slept around a lot, drank a lot. Her three boys turned out ok, her daughters married and had their own families. The eldest held the grudge the longest and hardest, she made it clear Beverly wasn't welcome at her wedding, wasn't welcome to visit, wasn't going to be grandma Beverly to her kids.

Beverly contracted gonorrhea twice in those years, syphilis once. She also contracted hepatitis c. Between the drinking and the hep c she developed cirrhosis of the liver that became cancer. She passed just over three years after Jason of nearly the same thing, in every bit as much pain. She had made no effort to fight the cancer. She had been a broken husk of a person practically from the time she first played Jason's CD.

Postscript

There are almost no happy endings in life. No one gets out alive. The best revenge is a life lived well. Jason was mourned by a lot of people. Beverly and John not so much. In the end, it's not the stuff you have, the money in the bank or the circle of society you move in. What seems to matter most was how much and what kind of difference you make in the lives of others...