In Over His Head Ch. 10

"Beauty... beauty is tricky dear. It's in the eye of the beholder, after all..." He smiled, pointing to his glittering gold eye first, and then to her pale green one. "...and I assume you have a particular beholder in mind?" he asked.

Eydva blushed. "Y-yes..." she said, nodding. She was still not sure how to hold her body, so she let her hands rest awkwardly on her hips.

"Let me guess," Clavicus said, his hand on his chin in a thoughtful pose. "A boy... someone you've know for a long time, but..." he trailed off, squinting his eyes, making a huge play at deep thinking. "He doesn't feel the same?" he finished, finally. It was the same old story, of course.

"Well it's beyond even my power to make him fall in love with you, or anyone else for that matter, not my demense, you understand. But I can make you so beautiful that ANY man, or woman, given that they are inclined towards female companionship, would willingly give over a king's ransom just to be with you," he told her. Clavicus gave a huge toothy grin and rubbed his hands together.

Just then the large dog coughed, said something under his breath, and then coughed again louder. Clavicus wrinkled his nose, turned, and whispered something to the dog that Eydva couldn't make out. The dog then barked loudly in reply. The small impish man turned back toward Eydva, frozen smile plastered to his face, but in his eyes she could see he was perturbed.

"As my colleague reminds me, in the interest of full disclosure, pending the binding contract we are about to enter in to, it is my duty to remind you that beauty is usually also fleeting, shallow, and the least of all possible mortal virtues..." Clavicus continued in his sing songy voice as he examined her. "But that isn't going to change your mind is it..."

Eydva knew it wasn't a question, rhetorical or otherwise. It was a statement of the fact of their unique situation. She was literally past the point of no return. Whatever was going to happen next, she might as well throw caution to the wind and go all in. Get EVERYTHING she wanted. Besides, what did she have to lose.

"No," Eydva assured him with a firm shake of the head. "I'll do whatever you need me to do, just... make me beautiful. But remember..." she trailed off. It was seriously perturbing her to think that her words could be misconstrued and twisted to turn her into something ugly... on the inside. To become a simpleton, a dullard... well, that would indeed mark the end of everything. Even if this entire plan failed... as long as her mind was intact, she could recover, even if it meant being alone forever.

"Don't mess with my mind!" she pleaded finally, exasperated.

Clavicus grinned, holding his hands out, palms up in a sign of acquiescence.

"No worries, I won't touch that pretty little head of yours," he promised. "At least not on the inside," he added.

For someone that was so concerned with her brilliance, she wasn't putting it to much good use. Clavicus expected more, but as always, nobody ever stepped up the challenge, did they? Not that it mattered in the end. This wasn't any happenchance meeting. He had come here, in this place with this girl for a purpose. There were bigger fish to fry, and Clavicus was in need of world class frying pan.

"So deary... beautiful you say, but as we discussed before, beauty is in the eye of... well, you get it. What do you think your particular "beholder" looks for, physically speaking, in his dream girl?" Clavicus asked, lacing his hands together on his chest in contemplative curiosity.

The question gave Eydva pause. She had never really thought about it before. What did Staan like? Did he even have a type? She had always just assumed that it was her, but obviously that wasn't the case, was it? She felt her disappointment and bitterness coil around her heart once more, like some sort of icy serpent. She clenched her jaw, brow furrowing. She had to think, and she had to think fast, before Clavicus decided to proceed without her input, and she ended up an idiot Dwarf. But she came to the stark realization that she really didn't know what Staan looked for physically, so she decided she would make herself look like what SHE had always wanted. Her face lit up as she let her imagination run wild. She decided not to compete with the little blonde miss perfect wife, but to surpass her entirely. She would put herself an entirely different level!

"I want to be tall! Even taller than I am now," she said with little hesitation, as the ball in her mind began to roll, and pick up speed. She hated the idea of being short almost as much as the idea of being dumb. "...but don't make me a stringbean!" She looked down at her own slender, willowy frame. "I want to have long legs, but shapely! I want to be tall but also curvy... like the Dibella statues in the temples!" She was on a explosive roll now. "I want to be busty, but not out of proportion with the rest of my body. I want to be beautiful... but exotic! I'm tired of being plain. I want to stand out! I want skin that shimmers, not pale and pasty. I want big beautiful eyes that you fall into when you look in them... and full, pouty lips that everyone wants to kiss... perfect teeth, long pretty nails. I want to be powerful but still very feminine... and..."

She paused to breathe, very much caught up in the moment.

"I want to still have red hair, but I want it darker and redder and longer, thick, and luxurious..." she finished finally, inhaling deeply.

While she was dreaming up her perfect self, she had apparently closed her eyes in reverie, visualizing herself as she went on, because when she opened them again, every single word that she had said was written in gold and sparkly letters as big as her hand, and hanging in mid air as if written on the surface of a giant invisible scroll.

Though it started with:

I, ______________

Do solemnly swear that I have asked his Divine Majesty Clavicus Vile to to transform me into a beautiful woman as described below:

And it ended with:

In return I will grant His Divine Majesty my _____________ for all eternity. I attest that I do so of my own free will without coercion or deception on the part of His Divine Majesty and I accept and welcome and all consequences of this transformation as my own responsibility.

Signed,

____________________

"By the Nine... what have I done?" she whispered under her breath, realizing the ominous significance of the shimmering letters floating before her face.

"The Nine? Pish posh, girl. It's not the Nine who are about elevate you to the heights of irresistibility!" Clavicus sneered with disdain, his nose crinkled as if he was smelling something distasteful. "Though, if you would rather pray to them for what you want, we can dispense with this whole business."

His hand raised high above the shimmering gold words in the air as if he was about to wipe them away with a single swipe. Somehow he suddenly seemed much larger somehow... was he looming over her?

"NOOOOOO! STOP! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect. It's just a saying!" Eydva cried hurriedly. "I'm not even religious!" she pleaded.

It was the truth, of course. Like most people of the magickal or alchemical persuasion, she preferred to trust in her own skill, knowledge, and the combined accomplishments of the leaders of her field and those that came before her. The scholarly tended not to have too much truck with Gods or Daedra. They knew too much about their history to trust them.

This seemed to calm Clavicus, who seemed to be normal size again, though she never saw him actually dwindle. One moment he just seemed to be taking up less space.

"Well, then...!, " he said, grinning and rubbing his hands together, all trace of his former anger evaporated. "Let's get back to business, shall we?

"Thanks to that incredibly honest and detailed little soliloquy you delivered earlier..."

He gave a quick little series of claps in Eydva's direction, as if to applaud her performance, though she wasn't sure if he was mocking her or not.

"We ALL know what YOU want. So now it's time to get down to what it is that I want... from you."

He was pointing at that blank line hanging ominously in mid air.

In return I will grant His Divine Majesty my _____________ for all eternity.

"What shall we fill in here on this lonely empty line, hmmm? The tit-for-tat, the-this-for that... the proverbial QUID. PRO. QUO." He said musically, having gone back to his customary sing song cadence from before.

Eydva knew this was coming. She knew what Daedra always wanted. They only trafficked in one currency that mortals possessed.

"You want my soul," she said flatly.

"HAHAHAHAHahahahahohohohoho... hohoho...!!" Clavicus burst forth in laughter. Almost uncontrollably so. He kept laughing till he was coughing, much like the dog had earlier, practically doubling over with it.

This sudden eruption of laughter was not what Eydva had expected in the slightest. She felt like she should be insulted. Miffed even. She marched straight up to Clavicus, indignantly puffing up. It was her turn to loom over him.

"Hey. That's not very nice! What's wrong with my soul? I'm... I'm young... and... pure... and... well..." She couldn't think of anything else to say out loud. She had been about to declare: "And I'm not really even using it anyway..." but that didn't exactly bolster her case for its value.

His laughter was finally dying down as she stammered the case for her soul. He took a deep breath and looked at her sheepishly, waving his hands.

"So sorry, my dear..." he apologized, bending low in his favorite exaggerated bow again. "I did not mean to offend. You have a simply lovely soul! And under normal circumstances I would happily take you up on such an offer, but alas, I have my reasons I want you to keep yours, at least for now."

"But I don't have anything else... Unless you want... my..."

Suddenly her eyes got big as saucers. There were tales she recalled; salacious tales, off limits to the younger students, but Eydva was quite skillful at persuading librarians to allow her access to just about anything in their collections, "for academical research purposes only" of course. When she needed a break from all her vigorous studying of actual school subjects, she often snuck off to that section. She had read many stories of Daedra and their unnatural appetites for coupling with young nubile mortals of just about any species, in return for various favors and boons.

She pulled her skirts close about herself protectively as she looked at him. Was he leering? She was about to exclaim something about how she was not that kind of girl... and if THAT was what he wanted, well he could just take himself and his rude dog and go straight back to Oblivion or wherever it is they both came from, because she was having none of it. She was about to. But she stopped. She could see in his face that he had already read her expressions, and she did not wish to have her body insulted along with her soul by another spontaneous fit of Daedric laughter.

In the end, she simply looked at him and pointed at herself and silently mouthed the word "no?" but as a question. In response, Clavicus simply shook his head in disapproving admonishment like a teacher declining an over amorous student.

"No my dear, though you are lovely now, and even more you'll be after I'm done with you... well, THAT particular proclivity has never been part of my... my..." he trailed off trying to find the word he was looking for.

"Idiom," the dog volunteered, helpfully.

"Yes! That! Although... when I am done with you, even I may not be able to turn you down were you to be so generous as to give me an offer!" He smiled and winked at her, as if to make sure she knew he was joking. But Eydva was anything but sure at this point. Though relieved she would not be trading her womanhood for her new beauty, she was at a loss. What on all of Nirn did she have that Clavicus could want?

"I don't know what else I have that I can offer..." she said plaintively and a little sadly. Maybe the deal would fall through after all.

"Oh c'mon, deary. Of course you do! What do all fresh young people starting out in life have, that even I don't?" he asked her.

"You want to take my youth? But you can't make me old... I can't be beautiful if I'm old!" she said.

Tears were springing unbidden to her eyes. What a fool she had been, thinking she could get the better of a Daedric Prince! A moment ago it seemed like she had had everything she ever wanted in her grasp... and now... it was all turning to dust and running through her fingers.

"Your you-? No, no, no, girl. Now look here. I'm not trying to screw you over, okay?" His voice had changed, no longer sing song, it was even and steady. The act was dropped.

"For once..." the dog said over his shoulder, NOT helpfully. Clavicus gave him a look that would have frozen any mortal being into stone. But Barbas just rolled over and resumed digging for the thing that was causing that spot just above his tail to itch so badly.

"Yes, I know. I have a reputation for not always giving people the most fair handed of deals. But did it ever occur to you that most of those people you read about in the books were greedy, egoistic, self-centered idiots who needed life to teach them, and the other mortals who would read their tales hundreds of years later, to just be HAPPY for once with what you have?" Clavicus asked her.

Eydva looked down at him, still teary, with newfound appreciation at first, but then she frowned again. "But doesn't that mean I should just walk away from this whole thing right now and go be a lonely spinster for the rest of my life and just... be... happy... with what I... what I... have?" She was plainly sobbing by the end. Bawling uncontrollably actually. She slumped to the ground and curled into a softly heaving ball.

Clavicus looked mortified. This wasn't going at all as he had planned. He was in the awkward position of having to comfort the person he was trying to make the contract with... otherwise NOTHING was getting signed, and that was something he was simply not accustomed to. Somehow several many thousands of years of dealmaking with mortals had not prepared him at all to deal with this one lone, tall, willowy, plain, but very smart girl.

But Clavicus was a closer. He would get this deal if it killed him.

"Look, how can I explain this to you... those people... the ones in the stories. They were bad. They were stupid, okay? Bad, stupid people get bad, stupid deals. Do you see now?" he said, trying to be as convincing as possible. "Are you bad?" he asked her.

Eydva swiped at her cheek and shook her head side to side. She was many things; headstrong, ambitious, mebbe even a little obsessive, but she had never thought of herself as bad.

"And we both know you are far from stupid... with all your intellectual gifts and talents, right?"

Eydva nodded again. Clavicus was in front of her kneeling down on one knee, and offering her a hand. She hesitated, but took it, and he gently tugged her back to her feet.

"You are good, yes? And nearly as smart as Ol' oily Hermy himself, I'd wager. Good, SMART, people get good. Smart. Deals!" he finished confidently as he led her back over to in front of the sparkly golden words still hanging expectantly in the air in front of them. He was about to close on this one. He could feel it!

"So what DO you want from me?" Eydva said more calmly, still patting her cheeks dry. Her tears had cleansed her of her pent up emotions. She felt stronger, more confident in herself again. He wasn't so bad, it seemed. Maybe he wouldn't do her wrong? It didn't hurt to hear him out. She decided to stop guessing and just wait for him to spell it out.

"Honestly, child, I'm really starting to like you, and if I could just give you what you wanted, at this point, I would happily dispense with this whole business..." he waved a hand dismissively at the golden words. "...but we both know that's just NOT my... idiom... either. I am a DEAL maker, not a gift giver. My power comes from the deal. And so to that end, we have to fill this bottom line. All deals come with a price! And this one is no different, regardless of my growing personal fondness for you. But what I want from you is special, and something even you will never know if you will miss. What is it that the fresh and young like yourself have in abundance? They... YOU .. have... potential." he pointed a finger at her heart.

"Potential?" Eydva asked him. Not quite understanding, but trying hard not to overreact this time.

"Yes!" said Clavicus clapping his hands together. "You have the potential to walk out of here right now and go and be whatever and whoever you want to be! I cannot tell you whether it would be a good life or a happy one. There are far too many factors at work. But it would be the life you were headed for before you met me," Clavicus explained.

Eydva thought hard about that for a second or two. The life she WOULD have. Of course, life would go on. With or without Staan (and the thought of that caused her heart to clench), life WOULD go on, she wasn't so disillusioned to think otherwise. She was a rising and talented new alchemist, a very respectable field, and she had her whole life ahead of her. But Staan? No. A life without Staan was unthinkable. When she looked back on all her hard work and all her accomplishments it was ultimately all on behalf of Staan. She wanted to do well so she could slip out from under her grandmother's thumb, and they could be free and happy together. And that wasn't going to happen if things stayed the same.

Clavicus continued. "Your life, after I am through with you, I promise will have just as much potential, if not more. Beauty does open certain doors, and very rarely closes any. So in essence, you are literally giving me the thing you would logically have to give up to get the thing you wanted anyway!" he said delightedly.

Eydva's spirits were lifting. If she was beautiful, and still smart, she wasn't really giving up anything, was she? And it might be her only chance to get Staan! But not so fast. She had to make sure there were no loopholes or fine print. This was Clavicus Vile she was dealing with, after all.

"So you just want what I was going to be? I mean... if I didn't' take the deal?" she asked him carefully.

He nodded.

"That's all? You don't' need to me assassinate some king later with untraceable poison, or give you my first born, or--"

"No." Clavicus cut her off firmly. "Only what is ON the contract is binding. Neither you or I can alter the deal once it is signed."

"Then I am ready," she said resolutely, standing as tall and grown up as she could muster.

"Excellent!" Clavicus beamed as he plucked a large black feather quill from mid air. He gestured to her to hold out her hand, and before she could react, he quickly jabbed the sharp end of the quill into the tip of her middle finger. It surprised her, but it didn't hurt, and she watched in fascination as the feather turned from black to red as it filled with what presumably was her own blood. Eydva wasn't skittish about such things anyway. Alchemists routinely dealt in liquids and other substances that would put even a Falmer off their meals for a month, and blood, including your own, was all too common as a called for component.

When the quill was full, he pulled it out and he handed it to her with a flourish. One last little exaggerated bow. She held it gingerly, as she stood to her highest to sign her full name to the top of the invisible contract. At this, Barbas got up from sniffing his own paw, and began to pace curiously around the two of them. Much to her surprise, as she lowered the quill, it met resistance. The surface was there, you just couldn't see it. She carefully wrote out her full name and then bent low to fill in the blank at the bottom with "My Potential." As she wrote, the red drained from the quill till by the end there was little left.