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Click hereIn Which an Elven Servant Suffers a Succubus to Live in Her Home
Chapter 8
***
Lorelei's Dating Prospects Log
Name: Elise
Status: Rejected
Reason: Too tall
Name: Natalia
Status: Rejected
Reason: Vegan
Name: Cindy
Status: Rejected
Reason: Obvious lesbian
Name: Sylvia
Status: Pending
Reason: N/A
Name: Carmen
Status: Rejected
Reason: Man hands
Name: Yasmin
Status: Rejected
Reason: Doesn't do anal
Name: Cora
Status: Rejected
Reason: No show
Name: Tessa
Status: Rejected
Reason: Fat-girl angle-shot
Name: Miriam
Status: Pending
Reason: N/A
Name: Skylar
Status: Rejected
Reason: Stupid name
Name: Nora
Status: Pending
Reason: N/A
Name: Hannah
Status: Rejected
Reason: Doesn't do oral (yes, really)
Name: Savannah
Status: Rejected
Reason: Blue hair, septum piercing
Name: Liana
Status: Rejected
Reason: Wants an open relationship (i.e. wants to have sex with other men)
Name: Wendy
Status: Pending
Reason: N/A
Name: Sophie
Status: Rejected
Reason: Hyper-religious
Name: Sabrina
Status: Rejected
Reason: Thinks master shouldn't be with other women
Name: Luna
Status: Rejected
Reason: Convinced that I'm oppressed by master
Name: Selina
Status: Rejected
Reason: Blatant alcoholic
Name: Clarissa
Status: Rejected
Reason: Detection wards revealed herpes
Name: Arianna
Status: Rejected
Reason: Hardcore feminist
Name: Abby
Status: Rejected
Reason: Has children already
Name: Samara
Status: Rejected
Reason: Facial tattoo
Name: Kaylee
Status: Rejected
Reason: Borderline retarded
Name: Brooke
Status: Rejected
Reason: Too many previous sexual partners
Name: Molly
Status: Rejected
Reason: 'Daddy' fetish
Name: Sadie
Status: Rejected
Reason: Too concerned with master's money
Name: Emma
Status: Rejected
Reason: Bitch
--
"Okay, I'm done. Where is he?" Lucy demands of me and drops a full basket of laundry on the floor of the kitchen. Working on those manners, I see.
"He?" I ask, perking my ears as I turn from the sink.
"You know goddamn well who I mean!" she growls. A weird turn of phrase for a demon.
"Those aren't folded," I point down at the pile of clean clothes haphazardly thrown into the hamper. They do appear clean at least, I suppose.
"Look. I'm a sex demon. I don't have any skills that aren't related to fucking. I don't know what you expect from me," she crosses her arms and pouts.
That's technically a fair point, but these are some bottom-of-the-barrel domestic tasks I'm giving her. It's not like I gave her any chores I didn't think she could handle, like cooking a meal, or not being a bitch for five minutes.
I dry my hands and walk over, picking up a shirt, "It's not that complicated, let me show you."
More pouting, "He said do what you needed me to do, and you said clean them. I cleaned them. Now when do I get fed? He promised. Now I can't find him."
"We just ate dinner an hour ago," I sigh and tell her, noticing that she's not paying attention to the folding.
"You know what I fucking mean, Lorelei," that's an improvement, she used my name.
"Given the time, he's probably up in his study," I continue patiently folding.
"I tried, the door's locked. And it's solid, I think he put a ward on it or something."
"Then he's definitely in there - wait, what do you mean 'solid'?" my ears droop a bit, "I better not find hoof prints on that door, Lucy."
She ignores my concern, "What the hell is he doing in there, when I'm out here waiting for him?"
"This is quite normal. Things have been a bit out of sorts since you arrived, but you'll find that master is actually quite the introvert. It's regular for him to spend time alone like this," I explain.
"How do we get in there?" she demands, tapping her hoof on my nicely cleaned floor.
"We don't. That's the purpose of a lock. We wait for him to come out when he's ready," I try to sound patient, and not because I know it pisses her off.
"Well don't you have a key?"
"I do," well, not just because I know it pisses her off.
"Can I have it?"
"You cannot."
"What's the point of having it, then!?" her tail whips from side to side.
"In case I need to get in there," I resume my folding, "And I don't, right now. Master locked the door because he wants to be alone, and we will respect that."
"But I need to-"
"No you don't," I abruptly state, "You can wait till he comes down."
She just crosses her arms and growls.
Believe it or not, things have been getting better between us. She still acts like somewhere between a spoiled child and an animal in heat, but since I fed her master's semen, she's softened a bit towards me. Less like an intolerable house guest, and more like an intolerable sibling. And more importantly, her attitude towards master is noticeably more submissive, I'm pleased to say.
The swishing of her tail calms and she simmers down a bit, "So what have you been doing out of the house, Lorelei? I wonder if our master would be curious..."
I stop folding and set the clothes down, "I'm not sure I care for what you're insinuating, Lucy."
"I'm not insinuating. Just noting what I see. You leave the house late in the evening, when master is occupied. You dress up nicely. And sometimes you come back with a smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol on you," she idly inspects her nails, "Almost like you're out dating or something."
She's more clever than I gave her credit for. It's sort of technically right, even if she's way off base about what she thinks she's got over my head.
"So what is it, Lorelei?" she leans over the table, not even sure if she's trying to taunt me with her impossibly perfect breasts, "Find another man to take care of your needs? Another human? Or maybe you're a traditionalist, and you want some of your own kind?"
Okay, the elf boy implication is too far, bitch, "It's nothing of the sort, Lucy. I think the orgasm denial is getting to you."
"Oh, I don't blame you. Hey, if a girl can't get it at home, where can she get it, right?"
"I think you'll recall that I wear a chastity belt. What you're proposing is ridiculous," I narrow my eyes at her.
"Ah, so you're a backdoor girl, are you? Why doesn't that surprise me?" the tail swishing starts again, "But here's the thing - I thought you belonged to master, body and all. What would he think if he knew you were giving it away to some other man? Would he be okay with that? I mean, just because he hasn't felt your little holes were worth fucking doesn't change the fact that they're his, right?"
"I'm doing nothing of the sort," my ears fold back like a cat, "And if your senses are as sharp as you make them out to be, your nose would tell you that nothing like that is happening."
She shrugs in a very passive-aggressive manner, "Maybe you shower before you come back?"
"My hair would be wet," I snap back.
Her expression breaks and she giggles, "Lorelei, you know I'm just fucking with you, right?"
"Are you?" my ears stay folded back.
"Eh, like fifty-fifty. I don't actually think you're fucking other men. But you do smell like other women sometimes, even if not sexually. I wanna know what's up. C'mon. We're basically sisters now, you can tell me."
"And the implication that you were going to blackmail me, I'm just supposed to forget about that?"
"Ugh, all hung up on little things like that. Look, I need that fucking cock, so yeah, if I thought I could blackmail you into facilitating that, I would. But if you were fucking around, you'd deserve it, no?" she leans back and stretches, "But you're not, so no harm, no foul, right?"
I just hold my arms crossed and study her.
"Again. Demon from hell. Not sure exactly what you expect from me, here," she slouches against the wall.
I sigh and drop my arms. She's strangely hard to stay mad at.
"We want the same thing, don't we? I can see it in your eyes when you watch him. Not to mention smell how drenched you get when he gives you any attention. And you call me a slut," she says, not incorrectly.
"What's your point?"
"I think whatever you're up to is about pleasing him. You know, on account of you being obsessed with him like a horny teenager," she walks over and puts her hands on my shoulders, "And I'm all about that. Making him happy can only mean more attention. So tell me, and maybe I can help."
I'm only given a moment to ponder this proposal of a deal from a literal devil for a moment.
"Talking about anyone I know?" master asks.
Don't usually comment, but I had something to say here
Whole series is a lot of fun, but I've come back to the beginning of this chapter several times. Lorelei's list of candidates is one of the funniest things I've ever read; not least because you mention a number of red flags a lot of people won't bring up.
Overall you have a fantastic grasp of comedy and I've really enjoyed your writing.
--
Andradine
Andradine.Quessix@protonmail.com
Lorelei's reasons for rejecting various human women as possible girlfriends for her master are hilarious. I love the conflict between Lorelei's transparent jealousy and her struggle to be the best elf that she can for her master.
Lorelei’s reasons for rejecting prospective women are supposed to be ridiculous. She’s too pretty. She’s too ugly. She’s too smart. She’s too dumb. No one is good enough. She will never find the perfect human woman, until she finds one she can empathize with. She’s looking for a human woman in the same position as herself and Lucy: a human woman who is sexually frustrated and sexually (and emotionally) obsessed with her Master! When she recognizes herself in that human, then Lorelei will want to live vicariously through that other woman’s experiences!
Anon
Actually I think some of her reasons are dumb, she rejected one girl for wanting an open relationship but rejected another for not wanting one, like how does that reasoning even work? And the hard core feminist one, just because she is a feminist doesn't mean she couldn't be in a dom/sub relationship. Your dom doesn't take their thoughts away
I was wondering, too. Also, I loved some of Lorelai's reason for rejecting those women:
Vegan
Obvious lesbian
Fat-girl angle-shot
Stupid name
Doesn't do oral (yes, really)
Blue hair, septum piercing
Convinced I'm oppressed by master
Hardcore feminist
This is epic, lol!