Invisible Man

"But, Dad, it is just not fair! I have known Eric forever, I got the degree, the career, and I don't wanna be vain, but I kick butt against all those tramps in looks."

Dad laughed as he sat down. "Do not forget your humility."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "You are the one that told me to be humble, but not invisible."

"Kelly, oddly enough I actually have an understanding of what Eric is going through. When your Mom...when I moved here, I had more uh... ah ... female company then an Oprah Convention. I had been out of the dating game for a long while. I am not sure if the rules are different at my age or if there any rules at all anymore, but the ladies here do not mess around and are not shy about what they want. Be it dinner, dancing, or, um, physical companionship."

I made a gagging motion putting my finger down my throat. "OMG, Dad! TMI! TMI!"

Dad slapped my leg and let out a hardy laugh. "I know Honey, the two people in the world you never want to think about having sex are your parents and your children."

He rose to turn down the grill. "My point is, Kelly, the ladies around here take advantage of what used to be a famous Roman saying, 'Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero', which means 'Seize the day, put very little trust in tomorrow'."

I put down my glass. "You know, Dad, you are right..."

He interrupted "You know how much I like hearing that..."

I snapped him with a napkin

"So you gonna call Eric?" Dad asked refilling my glass.

"You mean now?"

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero!" Dad repeated with an exaggerated flourish.

I rolled my eyes while pulling out my phone and scrolling for Eric's number.

I gave Dad a thumbs up when Eric answered the phone. "Hi, Eric, It is Kelly again."

"Yeah, I saw your name on my display. You okay? I never got two calls from you in one day before unless something was wrong."

"No, everything is fine Eric. I just wanted to let you know we are on for that Sunday movie D thing."

I heard Eric chuckle. "It is 3D, silly. But we gonna need to reschedule. Kim found out I had a Director's cut of the 3D 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' and 'Godzilla vs Bambi' movie and begged me to see it. Turns out Kim is a BIG fan of the classic 3D genre."

Dad saw my face register disbelief as I pulled the phone away from my ear. The last thing I heard was Eric's voice. "I do not mean to cut you off, Kelly, but I gotta let the killer attack dogs outside so they can pee. Can you give me a call later next week and we can try to connect? Nice talking to Ya."

For the second time I was starting at a "CALL ENDED" display from my conversation with Eric.

I tossed the phone on the table muttering, "Well that went well."

If I expected sympathy from Dad, it was not to be. He let out a huge belly laugh and sat down wiping tears from his eyes.

'I am glad you are so amused," I spat. "The only movie that tart Kim is a fan of is the Monster Dance with no pants."

Dad got up and kissed the top of my head. "Sorry, Honey, but I do not think I ever saw you get shot down before and looks like you are not used to it."

"Damn straight!"

Dad moved his chair so he was sitting in front of me. "If I did not know Eric any better I would say he is getting a bit of payback."

"What are you taking about?"

Dad sat back in his chair. "Remember when you were a senior and leading lady in the school's production of 'West Side Story'."

"Yeah, so?"

"Eric was part of the stage crew and I guess he invited you to the after party."

"He might have; I don't remember."

"Well he did remember back then. Poor bastard showed up at the house with a dozen roses and his Dad's old car. He must have polished that car a hundred times, the damn reflection almost blinded me. I bet those roses cost him a week salary from his minimum wage job."

"Ouch"

"Ouch is right. And where were you? You had left with that ass clown that was playing the lead, ah..Tommy what's his face."

I grimaced at the memory. "Tommy got us that skunking beer. I was so sick."

"Guess who disabled Tommy's car at that party so he could not drive drunk and then drove your blotto ass home that night?"

I put my head in my hands "Please do not tell me it was Eric."

Dad nodded his head. "Actually it was not my proudest moment, either. Your mother and I thought Eric had gotten you drunk on that beer. I reamed him a new asshole; your mother threw his roses in the trash. Eric never denied anything, just stood there taking all the abuse."

Dad looked at the grill. "I did not find out the truth until after you both graduated. Eric never told anyone. Just a freak coincidence of events that I found out. Wow did I eat some crow apologizing to Eric back then. You know what he said when I asked him why he did not tell me what happened."

"What?"

"Eric stood there with that goofy smile on his face and said 'Not a problem, Real Men never complain, Real Men never blame."

I picked up my phone off the table. "Might as well erase Eric's name from my contact list. If I were him I would not spit in my mouth if my tongue was on fire."

Dad shook his head. "If it was anyone else I would agree with you, but not Eric. Think, why else would he keep helping you out all these years."

I put my phone back in my purse. "I don't know, but I am not taking any more chances. Eric is not gonna be prepared for what I am about to hit him with."

Dad raised his glass to me. "Chance favors the prepared man, or women as it seems."

++++++

It took another week until I got on Eric's damn 'calendar'. It was a Friday night car show, not an event I would have picked. I mean seriously, who wants to waste a summer evening wandering around a parking lot full of old junker cars?

Was I surprised when Eric showed up and walked me to his car.

"Eric, Oh My God! Is that a Lincoln?"

"Sure is," Eric said proudly patting the gleaming fender. "Lincoln Continental Mark IV, this one was built in 1973."

I felt myself get giddy. "My Grandfather, or 'Seanathair', had a car just like this!"

Eric grinned wide as he opened the passenger door. "What a coincidence, because this was your Grandfathers car."

I was stunned. He must be playing a trick on me "NO, REALLY? Seriously, this is my Seanathair's car!"

"Sure is." Eric replied, holding my hand, as I got in and sunk into the plush front seat. "Kelly, your Grandfather always took immaculate care of this car. After he died, it just sat covered in a garage forever. Your Dad practically gave it to me. It took a while to replace all the dried up seals and stuff, but everything is original and works, even the AM FM radio."

As the familiar aroma of the interior filled my nostrils, I breathed in deeply while Eric walked around to get in the driver side. I do not know if it was my imagination or what, but the bouquet of scents transported me back to the happiest days of my childhood. Just me and my Seanathair going out for ice cream, I could feel Seanathairs presence as surely as if he was sitting next to me.

Eric settled into the driver set. He had a 'cat that ate the canary' look on his face. Suddenly he reached across me from the driver seat and opened the cars glove box. He pointed to the inside door of the glove box.

There in the childish scrawl of my young hand was the unsteady lettering "KELLY + SEANATHAIR 4EVER," enclosed by a big heart.

One thought leaped into my head.

Eric was the MAN that I was going to marry and have his children and then grow old together. I didn't care if I had to personally stab to death every female who looked at him.

++++++

The Car Show was great fun. While I only recognized a few of the cars from my teenage years, it was a great atmosphere with a DJ playing old tunes, kids trying to use hula hoops and a bunch of food carts. Seanathair's car... I mean Eric's car, got lots of attention. Eric was at ease talking to everyone and even the kids in their 'rice rocket' import cars came up ask him questions.

The end of the car show night was start of my campaign to get Eric to propose to me. It took about nine months to get him to ask for my hand in marriage. It would have been sooner, but it took over a month to chase off all the other bimbos on his damn calendar.

How did I convince Eric I was 'the one' for him? Easy, I showed him what great partners we would be together, our potential as parents, the shared interests we had in common, how we were true soulmates and...

Of course, that is all bullshit. I gave Eric what every guy wants, food and sex.

Eric, like most single guys, was limited to four basic food groups: Microwave, boxes of cereal, pizza and take out Chinese. While it is true the best thing I could make in the kitchen was restaurant reservations with my phone, I could find my way with enough ingredients to keep Eric's stomach full.

It was the sucking and fucking his brains out that really sealed the deal. Eric was not the worst lover I ever had, but as you would expect from a guy raised on internet porn, a real women needed more foreplay then his left hand did.

I did a sneak peek of his computers browser history when he was in the shower one day. It showed the normal assortment of porn video sites and adult places like Literotica. He didn't have anything too kinky bookmarked like Horse Porn or Man, Wife and Midget, so Eric was trainable.

It only took a short while, but Eric quickly became the 'King of Foreplay', and I actually got to look forward to our bedroom activities. We had great fun working on starting our family and I knew I had made the right choice for the right man.

+++++

ERIC PICKS UP THE STORY

"WOW", is all I can say.

I really enjoyed being married. Kelly was great and even the cat liked her. We had the normal little disagreements, such as my choice of décor vs hers, but once I saw what she did with the house, I quickly retired my single memorabilia to the garage for the traditional man cave.

Sex? Well, Kelly taught me what a REAL women wanted (at least her), and it was better then any dates I had with the porn sites and my left hand.

We both loved to laugh and the comedy clubs and concerts along with local playhouses became our date nights.

As everyone knows, when the Gods want to make us cry they first make us laugh, because everything was good, until it was not.

We had just exited the Doctors office. After over a year of trying to have a kid, we decided to have some tests done. My swimmers were fine in both quantity and quality. Sadly, Kelly's part of the equation was the issue.

I cannot even pronounce half the medical jargon, but basically I had a better chance of getting pregnant then Kelly. All the current methods involving Kelly had a chance so low the odds were non-zero, meaning higher than 0% but not by much. Unless three wise men came from the east bearing gifts, we would need to go the costly surrogate route or adopt.

I was okay with either, both or neither and I was willing to mortgage, sell everything I owned or could borrow.

Kelly was overwhelmed and said she needed time.

That, I think, was the beginning of the end.

++++++

Kelly fell into a funk that turned into a deep depression; she even quit her job. It took both her parents and I to get her into therapy. They tried a variety of drugs, but the ones that helped, made her gain weight and this just made her more withdrawn.

It was a major effort to get Kelly to go anywhere; every time she saw a child or a family she would almost break down in tears.

I was at wits end on how to assist, and my sex life was back to my left hand. My attempts at humor ("Think of all the money we save on birth control!") had the opposite effect.

After about two years of this, I was about to go into a depression of my own. Then a miracle happened! Kelly's therapist found the right combo of medications and that combined with her sessions, had Kelly slowly pulling out of her shell.

While it was great to have my wife back, it never got back to the same as before. Kelly refused to discuss any options for our family and I just dropped the subject.

It seemed we just never 'clicked' anymore and just existed together. Even when we were physically near each other, eating breakfast for example, Kelly acted like I was not there, scrolling through her smart phone or going over paperwork from her new office manager job. I felt invisible as if she was looking past me.

Sex was... mechanical, I had more passion from my left hand. I figured it was just a reaction to the medication and Kelly would eventually come around. I just had to be patient.

Kelly did not want to go to comedy clubs anymore, but when she expressed an interest in our local theatre, I bought season tickets. We went to every new show, and she went to a few shows multiple times, taking her mother if I was not available.

I thought I was seeing a little light at the end of the long dark tunnel. Of course fate decided it was an oncoming train.

++++

JoAnne bustled around from the back of the cash register at the convenience store when I stepped up to pay for morning coffee on Monday.

"Eric, come with me NOW!" JoAnne said as she grabbed my arm and pulled us out the back entrance.

"Whoa, JoAnne, I'm gonna spill my coffee!" I exclaimed as her iron grip pulled me outside.

JoAnne dropped her arm long enough to light a cigarette and draw in a lungful as the door closed behind us.

"Eric, your wife is cheating on you." JoAnne spat, exhaling a stream of smoke through her nose.

I waved her smoke out of my face. "You are insane," I replied, as JoAnne took another drag "You must have mistaken Kelly for someone else. I mean, you see like a hundred people a day."

JoAnne put her hands on her hips. "I was at your damn wedding; I know what your wife looks like and I know damn well what a cheating bitch looks like, too."

A twinge of doubt began to creep into my mind. "JoAnne, that is a very very serious thing to accuse someone of. Are you 110% sure..."

JoAnne cut me off. "I wish I was wrong, but Kelly was in here with that asswipe from the Theatre, ah Tommy what's his face... they were in here together yesterday."

I felt my legs grow weak. "Maybe, they were... ah just hanging out? Kelly goes to the show a lot."

JoAnne shook her head. "Prick was almost finger banging her by the donut display. They were laughing and joking about sex. The Tommy guy was saying he was glad he didn't need to use condoms with her and your wife rubbed her ass and said no need for condoms where he was putting his meat in her."

"Bullshit!" I spat, knowing Kelly had a real 'no go' on the backdoor action. "You are telling me they just said that shit right in front of you?"

She shrugged. "You would be surprised what people say. We are just invisible to them, like the gas pumps and coffee machine."

My head reeled, yesterday I was at her father's condo all day putting in an electric hot water heater for him. Was it possible?

"No way JoAnne, you must be mistaken. Kelly looks like a lot of people."

JoAnne threw down her cigarette and crushed the butt with the heel of her shoe. "Oh yeah, Eric? How many women look like Kelly and let their lover drive their husbands classic 1973 Mark IV Lincoln Continental?"

"WHAT!"

++++++

KELLY SIDE OF THE STORY

"WHAT!" Mom cried slamming down her coffee cup.

"It is not a big deal Mom. I mean Eric does not know." I said. "Besides, if Eric really got to know Tommy he would really like him. They are a lot alike."

My Mom shook her head. "You really think Eric has less moral sense than God gave dryer lint? They are alike? My Lord, child, are you insane? Does Eric sleep with married women too?"

"No Mom, but my marriage was in a bad place"

"Kelly, infidelity doesn't improve bad marriages. It makes the marriage worse, much worse, like divorce ending worse."

"But Mom, I am not ending my marriage. I was just not getting that much out of it right now."

Mom pushed her coffee cup around. "If you didn't end your marriage, then your actions are telling me it's not all that bad. You're getting something out of the arrangement."

"I've been through a lot. Why am I not entitled to something?"

"Kelly, cheating is a crappy set of decisions based in entitlement."

"Mom, you just do not understand."

Mom got up, walked around the table and grabbed my shoulders with both hands

"Honey, yes I do," she said squeezing my shoulders. "I screwed around on your dad one time. Just a stupid couple of trysts with... well it does not matter who."

Mom sat down and wiped the tears from her eyes. "You were in high school, somehow I thought a little fling would not hurt. Your dad found out and left me. I convinced your father to stay until you graduated. I figured in two years I could win him back."

"YOU CHEATED ON DAD?" I said as I recoiled back from her.

Mom stiffened. "Yes, and as soon as you were off to college, your dad moved out and filed for Divorce."

Now I stiffened. "That is not going to happen to Eric and I. He will never find out so I will never hurt him, even unintentionally, unlike what you did to dad."

Mom shook her head. "Hurt him unintentionally? Cheating is about as deliberate an intention as a NATO airstrike."

I stood up to leave. "Tommy works with me; Eric never goes to my work, so how would he ever find out?" Mentally I cursed myself for letting Tommy talk me into taking the Lincoln out for a ride yesterday. I vowed that mistake would not be repeated, even though I felt a shiver of excitement from what we had done in the back seat of the car, like a couple of horny teenagers.

Mom kept shaking her head. "A fuck buddy at work? How cliché is that?"

I picked up my purse. "I don't know, Mom, how cliché was your fuck buddy?"

Mom acted as if had I slapped her. "Look, Mom, I did not mean that. It is just a part time job for Tommy. He is an actor. Tommy already was in a Real Estate commercial and has a script for a play. We are both just making memories to look back on in the future. That's it, nothing more."

Mom swept her arm around her small condo as I walked toward the door. "Take a look around Kelly, because when Eric finds out, sitting in a small condo with a bottle of wine is your future."

++++++

I do not know if I was more shocked or mad as drove away from Mom's condo.

Shocked was a mild word to describe how I felt about her revelation that she cheated on Dad. That was a betrayal, plain and simple, and it really pissed me off that she had hurt Dad.

I was also steaming mad that Mom never ever seemed to take my side in any issues I had with relationships. Who was she to judge? My little... fling... was different then her screwing around on Dad.

I remember reading a survey by Illicit Encounters -an extra-marital dating site based in Britain- they polled 2,000 members and found that 73 percent of women who admitted to having an affair had mothers who had affairs as well. Some of this her fault, besides, Mom was the one who kept harking on and on about Eric and pushing me toward him.

Still, back in my brain there was a voice that I could not push away, which was whispering 'the unfaithful apple doesn't fall far from the unfaithful tree'.

I turned up the radio to drown out the voice and reminded myself Eric would never know, so no harm, no foul.

+++++

ERICS SIDEOF THE STORY

I was reeling from what JoAnne had said and headed home, all thoughts of work gone.

Running straight to the garage I took a deep breath and opened the front door of the Lincoln. Sticking my head in I immediately noticed the driver's seat was not in the normal spot. The seat was set back way farther, for a driver with much longer legs then mine. Even without that clue, I knew what JoAnne had told me about Kelly fucking another guy was true; the interior smelled like a whorehouse.