Is There Recrimination Ch. 01

Congratulations Book Four

Is There Recrimination?

Ashkey sat alone in the front room waiting for the computer to come to life and spring into action. She was acutely aware of how quiet the house was. She strained her ears to listen and just could make out the snores of her husband.

It would have been so easy to climb back up the stairs and go to sleep alongside the warm body of her husband. Tiredness however had come and gone from her so now she was alone. At last, the computer flicked to the main screen and she logged in.

Ashkey did not know why she had come onto the computer. It was not for sexual purposes. In the last twenty-four hours, she had performed more sex acts than she had in the preceding year.

She needed company and just to feel loved. She knew that her husband worshipped the ground that she walked on and would do anything for her and the children. She also knew that the depravity of the last twenty-four hours had been nothing but sex.

At no time had she felt an emotional connection with either Anton or Maria but she had enjoyed using them as much as they had enjoyed using her. Now the guilt and recriminations had begun to creep into her mind and she had to find someone to talk to.

As the computer had warmed, itself up Ashkey had thought about her circle of friends trying to find if there was one of them, she could confide in about what had happened. By a process of elimination, she had discovered that she was not particularly close to any family members and the friends she had all knew her husband and would either not understand or want to tell her husband.

It was a sad condemnation of her life that over the years as a result of marriage she had lost contact with the many friends that she used to have. Of course, it had not mattered to her previously as she had her husband and children and had been happy in the cocoon of the home.

Now however things had changed for Ashkey. She had broken the rules of marriage. She had performed depraved and erotic sex with herself, a young man, a woman and then to make it was she had given herself to her husband.

What had happened? Where had all this come from? Who could she talk too?

Eventually Ashkey went to Literotica. She had not been on the site for a day or so and was not surprised to see that she had a few private messages. She flicked through them and answered them in order.

Once the board was clear, she then went to the Amateur picture site. She perused the board and located some new sets of photos. She quickly looked through them and found that there were quite a few sexy women on them. Had she been in the mood she knew that she could have masturbated to these pictures.

This morning however was not the time. Her head was still swirling from the events of the past two days and she had to find a way to put these into perspective. For a moment, she sat looking at a particular picture of a woman but was not really looking at her.

It was all so hard. Ashkey could resolve the fact that she had enjoyed the sexual liaisons that she had indulged in.

This was not a struggle the pleasure that she had felt was real. The sheer energy used in sexual relief had filled her life like it had never been filled before. This however was not where the struggle was.

The struggle was that in participating theses acts she had consented to break the vows of her marriage. Then to top it all she had lain there tonight and allowed her husband to have sex with her. Did she have any scruples anymore?

It was getting too much. Her head was just swirling theses ideals around and around and she knew that sitting here alone she would never resolve anything. Even if she was wrong and people told her, so she needed to have another opinion.

Eventually she came off the picture board and looked through the list of available forums. She settled on one entitled general chat. Ashkey logged on and look through the threads that had been posted. There were people here chatting about diverse matters such as anal sex and the best way to masturbate and how emotions contribute to love.

It seemed to be the appropriate board. Ashkey did not look at any of the threads. She just clicked on post new thread and then stared at the screen as her name was there as a headline and she was faced with a load of blank boxes.

Ashkey stepped away from the computer and went to the kitchen. For a moment, she needed to be distracted and compose in her head what she wanted to write. By the time the kettle had, boiled Ashkey was certain in her head what she had to write.

She prepared the coffee and then she went back to the computer and began to write.

Hello to All of You on Literotica

My name is Ashkey and I am in a real moral dilemma. For several years, I have been a happily married woman with a loving husband and two gorgeous girls. I do not work but I am a busy working housewife.

Although my sex life with my husband never set the lights flashing in my head I always thought I was happy.

However recently I discovered the internet and this awoke me to a new world of sexuality. I enjoyed the adult company and chat and thought nothing of what I was getting to.

I met one particular man and we developed a relationship and then friendship. We exchanged an erotic story two days ago and it set off a sequence of events.

After reading the story, I masturbate openly in my front room. Unbeknown to me I had an audience of a young man and instead of sending him away, I encouraged him. I played games with him and eventually I fucked him.

It was fantastic and when I went to bed that night I was happy for the first time in years. The next day I went shopping to change my clothing and ended up with a female sales assistance. We made love and it was fantastic,

I then got home and carried on my sex life with the young man.

To top it all off my husband came home from a late night at work and wanted to have sex with me. I was not interested but I let him use me for his own satisfaction.

Now I am in a dilemma. I know that what I have done is wrong in regards of the fact that I have broken my marriage vows but I also knew that what I was feeling when I committed theses acts although it was not love it did make me feel alive inside.

I have never been able to achieve a sexual orgasm from the pure act of making love to my husband although I have always been able to masturbate myself to orgasm afterwards.

When I was with this woman and boy, they both were able to touch buttons within me that set me on an orgasmic path like I have never been down before.

What I am asking is.

Is it wrong to enjoy sex outside of my marriage vows?

Should I tell my husband and try to mend bridges?

Shall I just stop now and forget that it has all happened?

I know you may not be able to assuage my guilt but I could do with a reasonable perspective on this issue.

I look forward to hearing from you all.

Ashkey.

She sat back and re-read what she had written. She wanted to make sure that she had not given away any personal details about herself or those involved in the past few days.

When she was happy with what she had written. She pressed send and watched as the screen went blank and then she switched off the computer and walked up the stairs and back to the warm arms of her husband.

Satisfied that although she may not get answers she had got it off her chest and she was able to sleep.

It was seven forty five when the alarm clock blared in Ashkey’s ear. She had managed to achieve about four hours sleep in total. She rolled onto her back and the first thing that she noticed was the uncomfortable yet strangely pleasant sensation in her anus.It had been such a deep four hours sleep that it took her head a while to clear and remember what the sensation was.

Her head gradually moved the cloud surrounding it and she began to remember the events of the night before. It was not the things that had happened with Anton that were fuzzy. No they were indelibly etched in her mind. She recalled the fact that her husband had made love to her but there were a couple of things missing.

She pushed herself up in bed and there was an erotic shooting sensation that seemed to shoot straight up her arse. It was the butt-plug and she recalled the sensation of inserting it the night before and the guilty secret that it hid.

Ashkey also suddenly recalled the fact that she had sent out a plea to the readers of Literotica and she could not help but wonder if there had been replies to her desperate plight. She knew that this would have to wait until she could pack her husband off to work and her girls off to school.

Remembering her husband she looked to her left and there he was snugged under the duvet with the saliva dripping from his mouth and pooling on his pillowcase. The alarm had been set a little later than usual because of the late hour Ashkey had gone to bed and the fact her husband had worked late.

Ashkey jumped out of bed and as she went to put her dressing gown on she nudged her husband awake and informed him of the time. Ashkey went to the toilet and on her way back she woke the girls.

It would after all be just another day of getting the girls to school and her husband to work. The only difference would be that it would be a lot more hurried than usual. Ashkey did not worry about her husband her concern was the girls.

She needed a cup of coffee to get her going so she went downstairs as she listened to the sound of people moving about above her. This satisfied her as it meant the girl’s were on the move.

Ashkey pottered around the kitchen making the cereal for the girl’s and some toast for her husband. Her husband was the first to arrive and he greeted her with a grunt. Mornings were not his best time of day and Ashkey knew that all she had to do was provide him with coffee and toast and make sure he had the paper.

This done she gave a shout up the stairs and was soon greeted by the sight of her two daughter’s walking into the kitchen attired appropriately for the day. They sat down chattering at the table and dug into their cereal.

Ashkey was allowed to escape to the quiet confines of the living-room. She sat switched on the television and caught up on the news of the day. Nothing jumped out at her. A quiet media day.

She was dreaming of Anton and Maria when her husband suddenly made her jump by pecking her on the neck and saying goodbye to her. Ashkey responded automatically and watched him walk out of the house for the day.

Next the girls came in. They were giggling between themselves and Ashkey allowed them to enjoy their moment of girly humor. When they had stopped laughing she hustled them into their coats and within ten minutes had dropped them respectfully at day care and school.

She hurried home. She knew that she should be tackling the housework but that would have to wait for the moment. She had to find out if anyone had replied to her thread. Resolved to do this first she flicked on the computer and half-heartedly put some washing in as she waited for it to load.

At least one chore had been achieved to day and easing her guilt at her lack of housewifely duties she sat herself down at the computer screen. She typed in her username and password and when it was ready she went straight onto the net.

Ashkey was anxious now because she was not sure if her thread would warrant any comments. She bypassed the e-mails that were waiting for her and logged into lit.

Automatically she went to the Forum’s Board and then she clicked on General.

The screen changed and after a few moments she was able to scroll down and find her thread. She noted that in six hours she had received over a hundred hits but rather disappointingly there were only four comments.

However, four comments were better than no comments so Ashkey clicked the thread open and sat back to read.

Ashkey quickly scrolled through the four comments that had been left on her thread and this is what they said.

Hi, Ashkey this is the Wolfman here. Well what can I say? It sounds as if you were having a whole barrel of fun over the last few days. Wish I had been there.

Anyway about your dilemma. I would say that if your husband does not sexually satisfy then you should go and get the satisfaction elsewhere.

Unfortunately I live to far away otherwise I would be knocking on your door to obtain a piece of the action.

Hope you get your dilemma resolved and if not go with the flow.

Pm me if you to chat or you want me to fly to your rescue

Hey its moonshine here.

Sorry to hear about your dilemma. I was in a similar situation several years ago. I tried everything to get my partner interested in sex but he was a once a week man. Nothing I tried seemed to stir him.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that my sexuality was more important than my marriage. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make but for years, I had been unhappy. It was not until another man took an interest in me that I realized I was missing out on the sexual side of things.

I did try to talk to my husband but he denied there was a problem and wanted to bury his head in the sand.

It was not for me so I had an affair and found my life opened up to a new world of sexual adventure. Three years on, I can honestly say that it was the best decision I ever made.

Hope this helps you with your dilemma. Remember no one can make the decision for you other than yourself.

Take care

Xx

Now then you horny mother my name is Dark Knight and I just wanted to say – you go for it.

If it was me, I would be shagging my way through the whole of the community. You are doing nothing wrong.

Keep it up.

Hey, there slag it is the Bible basher here I just wanted to say that you and your sort are whores on society.

It is no wonder that the world is in such a mess if there are women like you behaving like you say.

Confess your sins you slag and God will surely forgive you.

Ashkey sat and read the replies and then she switched off the computer. There had been some good thoughts and there had been some nasty ones. In reality, she had got the responses she had expected. It was not approval she was looking for more understanding into what she had done.

Walking back to the kitchen she put on the kettle and stood at the counter thinking about the words of others. Ashkey resolved that she would like to correspond with Moonshine. Although she had no idea where she lived, she did seem to have an insight into what she was going through.

She never expected to bond a friendship with Moonshine but she would be a good sounding board for the frustrations that she was going through.

What she did wish was that she had a friend nearby who she could just call up and chat to and know that what she was going to say was not going to go anywhere else. Confidentiality was very important to her.

Well she thought that was for later. Now she had to make the house look like it had been cleaned. She went to the cupboards under the sink and got out her cleaning products. She rushed around the house cleaning, dusting, and hovering.

This was her life and what she had done all her married life. She put some music on and danced around the house picking up clothes and tidying away toys. It never took her long to tidy the house and before she knew it, the clock had moved round to 12 noon.

It was time for lunch. She made herself a sandwich and a cup of coffee. When this was devoured, she took the laundry and enjoyed the filtering breeze as she hung out the clothes.

It was all-humdrum and caused Ashkey to use no brain cells. It was how her life went and she thought I am content but I am not happy. I have to do something more than this.