It Ain't Necessarily So

This story will have at least three parts. Somewhere in the three parts these things will show up: (they are not listed in order of appearance) new bras, menopause, a funeral, dildos, honesty, a 4some, mfmf, mmf, mfm, mm, a cruise, a crocodile, trading husbands/wives, sex toys, suckling, nudity, harnesses, coitus and oral sex.

***

"Honey, we need to talk."

Every time she ever said those words it meant something was wrong, from her perspective. I was sitting at the table eating breakfast. A breakfast I made for myself, I might add. She sat down with me, carrying her cup of coffee and a burnt piece of toast.

"Ok," I said, "You talk, I'll listen."

"You know I love you, right?" She leaned towards me as she asked. I took a bite of eggs and nodded. I'd heard her tell me she loves me for twenty years. She could have ended our marriage hundreds if not thousands of times, and she didn't. Every infraction from forgetting her birthday to almost burning down the house during a bar-b-que could have triggered a divorce, but she didn't divorce me. Ok, she loves me.

"I'm about done with sex." She leaned forward to tell me she loves me and leans back to tell me were done having sex. What's that about? We had sex last night! I put my fork down and looked her in the face.

"Can I get you to explain that last statement? Please."

"We're both getting older. I don't look as good as I used to and my body doesn't respond the way it used to. I don't get turned on the way I used to."

"We did it last night. I didn't go to sleep thinking damn, she's ugly. What happened to the babe I married twenty years ago? I went to sleep thinking I'm still the luckiest man I know."

"Thank you." She took a big breath. "Ok, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. For the last year or so when we've had sex, I didn't have an orgasm. You're just not able to last long enough to get me there. I still like how it feels to do it, but I lay there after you're asleep frustrated. Last night I played with myself after you were asleep."

"You wait a year to tell me about this? What the hell? Would you wait a year to tell me the faucet leaked or the furnace didn't light? There's nothing in the world I can do about something that started a year ago!"

"This is why I didn't say anything. I knew you'd take it the wrong way."

"Oh. So tell me the right way to hear that for at least the last year I've failed as your lover. That last night you were frustrated and had to diddle yourself because I didn't satisfy you!"

"I still love you. I still love living with you, being your wife."

"I hear you. Sex with me is so exciting that you'd prefer to give it up completely rather than find a way to have it work for both of us. Is that about it?"

""You do the best you can, it just doesn't get me there anymore. The problem is mine, not yours."

"If I couldn't get hard, would you help me get hard or would you say, "That's your problem?"

"I've helped you get hard plenty of times. I like doing it."

"Now you tell me you have a problem getting an orgasm, but you don't want my help. In fact you want to quit having sex because you don't have orgasms any more. The message I get is that unless you have an orgasm it isn't worth the effort to spread your legs for me. You came to tell me that my sex life is over because I didn't give you an orgasm in the last year!"

"I hate going to sleep frustrated and I hate having to play with myself to get there."

"Ok. How about if I play with you until you get there and then I get between your legs until I get there too? Wouldn't that work?"

"It takes a long time for me to get there."

"I don't care! We can go to the bedroom right after dinner or right after Jeopardy. I'm not on a schedule that can't change! Hell, woman, give me two hours of eating pussy! I'll count it as exercise and love every minute of it!"

"But that's nasty."

"No. Nasty is being unsatisfied for a year and keeping it a secret! Nasty is giving up!"

"Ok. Next time you have the urge and want to have sex we'll try something different. Maybe we can work it out. I just don't want you to think it's your fault if I don't have an orgasm."

"I won't. I'll blame you and yell at you loud enough that the neighbors know you didn't cum! Be serious. If there's a problem, it's shared. Blame has nothing to do with it."

She kissed my cheek and left the table. My eggs were cold, her coffee was cold and her burnt toast could be used as a shingle. By the time I was dressed and ready for my day our sexual problem had been pushed into the background. Not very far in the background, but into the background. My brother called and they were having a problem with their plumbing. I'd spent thirty years as a plumber, so he called me.

I spent half the day under his house. While I moved things in his basement to get to the clean out where I believed the obstruction could be cleared, I found a box. When I moved it the lid opened and I was amazed. The box was filled with sex things. With a major effort I set the box aside and went back to work on the plumbing. What I wanted to do was to explore the contents of the box.

I kept wondering why my brother had a box of sex things in his basement. I opened the clean out and got the pipes cleared. I called to my brother upstairs and had him run water through the pipes to make sure we solved to problem. As the water ran I heard the phone ring upstairs. A few minutes later he came down the stairs and let me know he owed me one and that he had to go to his job at the credit union. I said I'd put things back where they belonged and lock up before I went home.

He thanked me and said there were cold beers in the fridge.

I heard the back door open and close, his car start and drive away. I put the basement back together and sat down with "the box". On the top of everything in the box was a dildo. It was about ten inches long and much bigger around than my cock had ever been, even in my dreams. It was in a Zip-Lock bag, telling me it had been used and cleaned and stored in a bag to keep it clean. I set it aside, wondering how Marcie liked that big purple dong in her.

There were two different lubes. One in a jar and one in a tube like toothpaste. I set them aside. In a smaller box I found two smaller dildos. Both with batteries and a switch that was marked lo-off-hi. One had a small appendage that I gathered was to stimulate her clit while the larger part was inside her.

I wondered how my brother convinced Marcie to use these things. Then I wondered if she used them because my brother was as lousy a lover as I had just found out I was.

I found two small tubes about two inches long with suction devices sticking out to the side. I wondered what they were for and then it hit me, they were for applying suction to Marcie's nipples! At that realization my penis began to swell. I had a vision of Marcie standing in front of me with the two suction things attached to her breasts and me watching and listening to her moan.

At the bottom of the box was a catalog filled with sex toys and things. I looked through it and found something that caught my interest. There was a strap on dildo and at first I thought it was for lesbians, but I noticed it was hollow and the ad said it was for men who didn't last as long as they wanted to last! I got a piece of paper and turned the catalog over to get their address. I wanted to order that strap-on!

I wrote the web address down and noticed the catalog had been sent to Marcie! This box of toys wasn't my brother's; it was his wife's! I was shocked for a second or forty and then realized Marcie dressed a bit sexier than Sue, joked a little more blue than Sue and my brother still blushed more often than I did.

A stair creaked and I looked towards the stairs. Marcie was standing there looking at me, smiling. I know I blushed and tried to speak, but nothing came out.

Marcie stepped down the last three steps and asked, "Find something you like?"

I found the ability to speak and said, "I'm sorry, Marcie. I moved this box while I was fixing a clogged drain..."

"Shhhh. It's Ok. I keep the box down here so the grandkids don't get too nosey. Matt knows about the toys and we use them together sometimes. I'm sure you and Sue have your toys too, don't you?" She picked up the Zip-Lock bag and held the big dildo in her hand. My cock grew another inch.

"To be honest, no, we don't have any toys."

"I'm impressed. Many of the people our age use toys to help us get where we want to go. You two must be doing well."

I thought about the conversation Sue and I had over breakfast. I said, "Sue talked to me about our sex life this morning. Seems I don't get her where she wants to go anymore."

She sat next to me and put the big dildo in the box. She picked up the two suction cups and asked, "Did she used to love having you suck on her tits?" My eyes went to her chest. Marcie had always dressed to show off her large breasts and often her nipples showed through her clothes. As I looked down I saw her bumps.

"Yeah, she did, but now..."

"Get a pair of these." She lifted her shirt up and off. Her hands went behind her and in seconds her bra came loose and for the first time in the twenty years I'd known her I saw her breasts, naked and close at hand. My cock jumped again and I wanted to adjust it within my clothes.

She held the breast closest to me with one hand and attached the suction cone over her areola and nipple. She squeezed the bulb four times and I saw the nipple being sucked into the tube. She sighed and let it go. The weight pulled on her breast even more and she said, "God! I love how that feels! If I could, I'd wear these almost all the time!"

She attached the other one to her other tit. She locked eyes with me and asked, "Want to know what feels even better?" She didn't wait for me to answer. She said, "Get a hold of the tube, not the bulb, and slowly pull."

She helped my hand get to the tube and hold it. When I pulled a little her breast followed the pull, for half an inch. She held herself against the pull and whispered, "Keep pulling."

As I pulled I watched her nipple and breast stretch and suddenly the tube pulled loose. Marcie gasped and grabbed my hands.

"Oh, sweet Nick! That's so good." Her hands massaged her breast and the other tube bounced around. I said, "Marcie, sit up straight and close your eyes." My mind was racing. Marcie wanted to play, wanted me to see her enjoying being sexual!

She did. I held her breast in my hand and applied the suction tube to her. I pumped the bulb once and watched as her nipple moved into the tube just a little. I waited and then pumped again. It moved another quarter of an inch into the tube. I pumped three more times, quickly and Marcie's hands started to come up off her lap. She sucked in a breath and held it.

I let go of her breast and the tube. I tapped the side of the tube and she gasped again.

My focus moved to the breast where the tube had been in place over a minute. I pumped it one more time. Marcie said, "Oh!" and her chest quivered. I held the tube and pulled, slowly.

"Marcie, I'm going to pull it off of you. Is that what you want?"

"Yes! And, I want you to suck on my nipple when the tube comes off. Suck hard, like a baby, but harder!"

My eyes watched as her breast pulled away from her chest farther and farther. Suddenly the tube came away and her breast sprang back against her chest. My mouth found her areola and sucked. I sucked as hard as I could and held the pressure. Her hands held my head and she moaned.

I flicked her nipple with my tongue and she pressed my face into her breast. I sucked and bit in the rhythm of a nursing baby and she shuddered hard. I kept it up and she shuddered harder.

Suddenly I pulled the other tube off her other breast and switched my mouth to the breast just released from the tube. Her hands covered her own mouth and she squealed, shook and came! I kept sucking, kept nursing and I pinched her other breast. She kept cumming, shaking and I could smell her arousal.

I thought, 'I can do this at home!'

Gradually I relaxed and so did Marcie.

She said, "Would you like me to take care of your erection? I'd really like to help you. Count it as a thank you for fixing our plumbing or just count it as friendly!"

"Sue's the only one who's touched it in twenty years."

"For now, I'll take that as a postponement, not a "No". I want you and Sue to come for dinner tomorrow night. Plan on spending the night. Don't plan on getting a lot of sleep."

"Why are you doing this? In eighteen years I've never sensed any interest in us other than as friends, relatives."

"Back then we were very concerned with being politically correct. Now we're concerned with enjoying all the time we have left. I want us to be friends with privileges." She tucked her tits into her bra and pulled her shirt back on. She picked up the catalog and asked if I was interested in the strap-on.

"I could screw Sue forever if I wore that. I could say, "Take your time Honey, I'll pump you into next week!"

"Oh, maybe, if I'm bad, you'll use it on me, too."

We got the box reloaded and back on its shelf. We were back upstairs and I was eating a sandwich Marcie made for me and drinking the beer when my brother came home. Marcie called Sue and invited us for dinner the next night. They talked about food choices and girl things and Matt and I went out to my truck.

"Nick, did you find the toys?"

"You wanted me to?" I know I sounded shocked. I was. I'd been worried about what Marcie and I had done.

"We wanted you to. We want to spice up a little and couldn't think of anyone we'd rather share with than the two of you. Well, maybe Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie but they spend so much time out of town."

"It's a lot to get my head around."

"Think about getting your mouth around her tits again. I know you got her off twice for sure."

"And, you want Sue?"

"Your wife is hot! Of course I want her!"

"Damn!" I started my truck and headed home. I was lucky I didn't have an accident on the way home. I kept having visions of Marcie's distended nipples and the feel of her cumming as I sucked on her.

I got home, cleaned my tools and washed up at our service porch sink. Sue came and found me saying, "Marcie and Matt want us to come for dinner tomorrow night." She hugged me from behind as I finished washing up. I turned quickly around and wiped my hands on her t-shirt covered breasts. She jumped back, giggled and said, "Now I'm wet!"

"You're wet and I'm getting hard. Sounds good to me!"

"Your parents should have named you Randy!" She left me and went to change her shirt. I found my lunch on the table and a small bag of chips to go with it. I had already eaten a sandwich at Matt and Marcie's, but I didn't say so. I ate the sandwich.

That evening Sue asked me if I knew why Matt and Marcie invited us for dinner. I said, "They told me they wanted the four of us to become closer friends, do things together and not just at birthdays and holidays."

"I didn't know they liked me enough for that."

"Well, we've all been pretty busy raising our crew, working a hundred hours a week, taking care of houses, cars, PTA, soccer and such. I guess we now have the time to be friends and have friends without all that pressure."

"You may be right!"

We stayed up until Leno was over and then went to bed. Sue wore a giant t-shirt to bed. I got a quick kiss and the lights went out. We slept until after eight the next morning. When we both had full time jobs we were always up by six. Now Sue only worked three afternoons a week and I was on-call for Thursday and Friday. Our kids were grown and gone. Mike lived and worked in Boston. Zoe was married and they lived in Atlanta.

When I woke up Sue was in the bathroom. She came out and looked to see if I was awake. I smiled at her and she smiled back on her way to the kitchen. I got two pieces of French toast and she had burnt toast and coffee. As I ate I asked, "Any idea what's for dinner tonight?"

"Oh, that's right. I'm not cooking. Marcie and discussed some things but she didn't say what she was making."

"What are we contributing?"

"I'd better call and see what she'd like us to bring." She got the cordless phone and called. I went to my den and fired up my computer. I had been looking at something for us to do for a vacation. I had looked at resorts in the Caribbean, and in Florida, but nothing had grabbed me. I looked at a site about cruises. There were hundreds of choices. Three day cruises, four day, seven day, eleven day, fourteen day cruises and some even longer. Cruises to Europe, all over the Caribbean, down to South America, Asia, Africa and even Antarctica. It was overwhelming. It the midst of my overwhelm my phone rang. We have a house phone that has always been for the family and I have a phone. My phone is basically for work calls and calls from select friends. My brother calls that number. The guys I go fishing with and the guys I work with call that number.

I answered, "Nick."

A feminine voice said, "Are you still hard?" It was Marcie.

I said, "No. That problem went away."

She giggled and said, "It's coming back!"

"You're probably right about that. So, what else is up?"

"Matt and I were talking about a vacation this morning."

"This morning? Damn short vacation."

"Ok, wise ass! This morning Matt and I talked about possible places we could go on vacation a little later this year."

"I've been looking on the internet to find an answer to the same question for Sue and me."

"What did you decide?"

"I haven't, but I'm thinking a cruise might be great."

"To where?"

"It won't much matter. We've never been on a cruise and we've never been on a vacation without kids along."

"Let's talk about vacations tonight. Maybe it would be fun for the four of us to go together. We could even take some toys with us!"

"You have my attention."

"Oh yes. What is Sue's favorite wine?"

"Something from Turley Winery. It's up by Cambria."

"Oh, we like their wines. I'll send Matt out to get a couple bottles."

"We have a couple. We'll bring them." I made a note to myself.

"Matt wants to bar-b-que some salmon for tonight. I'll make Chinese braised green beans and saffron rice to go with the salmon, Ok?"

"Sounds great. We both like salmon."

"Ok. I have a surprise dessert for you. I hope you like it!"

She laughed and the connection was broken. I had a few ideas about what the dessert could be and none of those ideas involved food.

When it was time I showered, shaved and dressed in social clothes: chinos and a nice shirt. Sue waited until I was dressed before she showered and dressed. I didn't know if she shaved. I doubted it.

We brought the two bottles of Turley wine and a salad Sue made. On the way to their house I told her how nice she looked.

Matt and I spent some time out by the grill watching the salmon become wonderful. He told me that Marcie and he had talked and decided to go slowly introducing Sue to the possibilities before us. He also told me I was welcome to enjoy Marcie any time I wanted and in any way she and I agreed on.

Sue and Marcie joined us at the grill, each carrying two glasses of wine. Marcie gave me a glass and Sue gave one to Matt. We talked for a few minutes and the timer told us the salmon was done. It was crisp and almost burnt along the outer edges and rubbed with a spicy, peppery rub that I loved. Two minutes later the four of us were having dinner and commenting on how wonderful the meal was. Sue complimented Matt and I, saying how nice we cleaned up.

Marcie said the best way to get Matt clean and agreeable was to take him in the shower and scrub him completely clean. Matt said, "Any time. That's why we bought the big hot water heater. We can take our time having good clean fun!"