It Started with the Holidays Ch. 01

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Estranged couple have drunk sex.
9k words
3.71
47.6k
35

Part 1 of the 4 part series

Updated 06/08/2023
Created 12/14/2017
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Prologue

My mom and I were such a strange family. Dad had cheated on her when I was ten, and since the family had split up, we'd been estranged from each other. I didn't talk to dad, of course. Not because my mom didn't want me to. She encouraged it if I wanted to talk to him. But he was too much of a pig for me to really relate to him. I like men who didn't abandon their families. Yet, at some points in time, I could understand his side. My mom was a hard person to live with. Or get along with. But she was my mom, and I loved her even so. We were both alone, since our family was spread out all over the states. We had family in Michigan, Texas, California, and pretty much everywhere. No one really ever organized a gathering of the family for holidays, since it would take too long to fly all of us to wherever the meeting would be. Of course, I'm talking about my mom's side of the family. We just never kept in touch with dad's.

I was forty-three and still living with my mother. People talked about my lack of a love life. But I'd never really found a man or woman that I liked and wanted to spend my life with. At this point, I also wondered if my mom could handle living on her own. She had retired at sixty one, and we lived comfortably. I worked at Intel in one of their clean rooms. Had been there for quite a long time. She had worked as a doctor at an acupuncture clinic for fifty years. She had me at twenty, and by then she had already been established at her practice. We were okay when it came to our living situation. We lived in Portland Oregon, in the outskirts of town.

Our house was her mother's. It was an older house that we'd added on to as time went by. It had a laundry room, a living room, and three bedrooms. One bedroom was in the laundry room, and the other two were in the kitchen. My mom's room was next to the bathroom down one hall off the kitchen, and mine was right next to the laundry room. The den was right next to her room. Of course, we never used the den. It just had furniture for anyone who came over, but mostly sat gathering dust. We hardly had guests. The den was where the front door was, although we entered through the side door in the laundry room.

My mom is such a hard person to live with. She's a real bitch at the best of times, and a psychotic mess at worst. With her, I never knew what I was going to do wrong next. What wrong thing I was going to say. If I was going to make her cry or what. Now that she retired she spent most of her time in her room sleeping and watching TV. We had two cats, and she was very diligent at taking care of them. But she didn't much like to do anything else. I wondered if she was depressed or somehow just had a different way of personality. She was never physically abusive to me, but I can't remember the last time she hugged me either. A lot of our talks ended in arguments as she always perceived I did something wrong or said something offensive against her. I was beginning to wonder if she was a narcissist. But I couldn't think those thoughts about my mom.

And then in October, I came home from work to something very much a surprise to me. I quietly entered through the laundry room, and Boo, one of our grey cats, came running in with me before the door shut. She slapped me across my legs with her tail as she ran past. I gently closed the door and locked it. Then, I walked into the kitchen, and heard moaning coming from my mom's room. She was making loud erotic sounds that said she was having a very intense moment. I'd never heard her like that before. In fact, I never even once saw her and dad kiss when they were together. But she apparently was human enough to have sexual desires.

"Oh yeah! That feels so fucking good!" she moaned as she continued.

I had never once heard her cuss before. I realized then that my vagina was on fire. I could feel moisture gathering in my crotch, and I had to make some kind of noise to signal I was there. But what if she flew off the handle?

I grabbed the door and swung it shut behind me. "Food for kitties!" I said loudly as I stomped to the dining room table and put down my lunch and brief case. "Kitties need food!"

"Hi, Becky." My mom said from the bedroom as I began to take the cat food out and prepare it.

"Hi mom." I said smiling. "You eat lunch?" I asked hoping she had.

"No. I didn't get hungry. What's for dinner?"

She was the retired one. She was the one home all damn day. And I was supposed to make dinner? I seriously didn't know why I just didn't leave.

"I'm making burgers." I said calmly.

"Okay. Thanks." She said as I heard her TV turn back on. It was the big bang theory. She liked that kind of stuff.

I had to cook dinner, feed the cats, and do the rest of the household chores while my mom just lounged around. I swear she was mentally unstable somehow. I don't know if it was retirement or what. She had gone through a phase where she used narcotics and we had to rehabilitate her. I swear now she was drinking. I saw a lot of wine bottles go out with the recycling. Sometimes, I went into her room while she was in the shower, and I saw all these pills for pain that she really didn't need. She claimed her knee was bothering her since she had a knee replacement, but I had older friends who had knee replacement. And they had healed in no time. So I really questioned my mother's mental stability. She was cranky most of the time, and she smoked. I seriously wondered why I just didn't move out of here. I had little friends, but I could afford to stay on my own. It's not like I was poor. Have my mom do her chores once in a while.

She walks around with a cane, and uses a bench in the shower to make it easier. But once I actually saw her walking around without a cane when she thought I wasn't looking. I never confronted her about it. She had gone through a lot of doctors because they all refused to fill her prescriptions at one point or another for medicine. She would come home and be absolutely angry that they wouldn't let her have what she wanted. I questioned the state of my mother.

Thanksgiving

Rebecca had the whole week off for this holiday. We didn't really invite anyone and we didn't really celebrate big. It was usually just the two of us. She would ask to help with the turkey and all that stuff, but I'd never let her. If I wanted something done a certain way, I had to do it myself. And holiday dinners were no time to mess around. I needed everything to be just right. Of course, that didn't mean I liked getting up and doing things. I hated it. And today was going to be a very bad day. Usually she asks the night before if I'm going to want any help. This year, she didn't. I couldn't stop thinking about that. I really truly tried to get it out of my mind, but I couldn't. Was she going somewhere else? Had she given up on trying to help? Was she taking advantage of me? I didn't know. I didn't know how to find out. Every time we talked, it ended in a fight. She just was the sort of daughter that could never say the right thing. She was self-centered, and never thought about me. I didn't ask for much. Just a daughter who loved me for who I was. I was a very nice person. I had lots of friends. I didn't understand why she didn't love me.

"Hey, mom." She said at four in the morning as I was getting ready to put the turkey in the oven.

"Rebecca." I said bitterly.

"Okay." She said as she walked past me and into the bathroom.

"Don't look at me that way, young lady!" I shouted bitterly. "I am not an asshole!"

"Mom, come on." She said as she closed the door.

I put the turkey in the oven, set the timer, and started to head back to my room. I had to confront her.

"You didn't ask me if you could help me." I said standing at the door as she peed.

"Mom, you never let me help." She said bitterly. "I was saving us the trouble of you rejecting me, and me feeling like I let you down. Of course, I'd help if you needed me to. I am up."

Only because I was sure to make extra noise this year. Not because she wanted to be up.

"No. I'll let you sleep. I know how important it is for you to get sleep. After all, living with me is such a demanding task!" I said bitterly as I walked into my room and slammed the door.

She wasn't leaving me! She wasn't feeling taken advantage of! And more importantly, she wasn't going to move somewhere else! I was so happy. I put on the TV and laid back down. I was so happy. And there was going to be turkey.

The day went by very slowly. I hated this day. I wanted it to go by faster so I could go back to not doing anything. I hated walking around and doing stuff. I'd rather be in my room, just being numb to the world. After my knee replacement, I'd been trying to find a way to get rid of all this pain I had. None of the therapists were qualified to help me. They all thought I was lying, or addicted to pills, or something of the sort. Well, I wasn't. I was in pain, and I was going to find a way to get rid of it. My quality of life had to improve. One way or another.

"Mom, you want me to serve the food?" she asked as she came out of her room as we got ready to eat.

"Well, okay." I said happily as I poured myself my fourth glass of wine.

We ate a good dinner. It was great. She told me about her work, and I found myself not really fighting to listen. I didn't know all this cool stuff about her job that I should probably have strived to know.

I didn't know her work was completely clean by necessity. There was one particle in every clean room, and if it hit more than one, alarms would go off. That's because if the wafers they made for computers got even one particle on them, they would break or be ruined. I never knew that. She was so smart. Of course, I knew better. I was the mom, after all. But for a daughter, she was so smart.

"You want to go hang out in the living room on the couch?" I asked as I got up and helped her clear the table.

"Sure." She said happily. "By the way, dinner was marvelous. You make great turkey."

"Yes, I do, don't I?" I asked smiling as we both put all the dishes in the sink. 'You can get those tomorrow." I said smiling as I turned to go to the living room.

"Sure, mom." She said bitterly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked stopping in my tracks.

"Nothing. I didn't help with dinner, so I'll do the dishes. I think that's fine. I'm glad to help." she said as I turned back and grabbed the bottle of wine I'd just opened.

"Oh." I said as I walked into the living room and plopped onto the couch.

There was a coffee table in front of me, and I put the wine and glass on it. She came and sat next to me, and put her glass next to mine.

"I'm glad you told me about your work." I said smiling at her as we leaned back and got comfortable. "I never knew you did so much."

"Well, mom, you never asked." She said softly. 'I'm glad you liked hearing about it. I feel like we don't really have a good connection." She said softly.

"I suppose you're going to blame me?" I asked as I filled her glass again.

"No, mom. Please, don't say that. I'm trying to talk to you. Why did you ask me to hang out with you if you were just going to make me feel bad?" she asked folding her arms across her chest.

"I'm making you feel bad? You're the one who wouldn't even help with dinner, and then you had the nerve to be a bitch when I asked you to get the dishes. Even though I said you could get them tomorrow."

"But mom," she said laughing. "I said I agreed. Making thanksgiving dinner was a big task. I felt bad for you not getting any help. I guess I didn't ask you because I thought you'd say no. You've been saying no for twenty-five or so years." She said bitterly.

"Well, you shouldn't assume. Assuming makes an ass out of you, and me." I said grinning. "Mostly you in this case."

"Okay." She said sighing.

"Don't patronize me, young lady." I said bitterly as I took a sip of my wine.

"Mom, I'm not. I'm not saying anything. I agree with you. God even when I agree with you, you get mad at me. It's like I can't do anything right." She said as she sipped her glass.

"Well maybe if you knew what to say and do without me having to ask you, you'd be a better daughter." I said bitterly.

"Oh, mom, come on. That's low and you know it. I try to help around here. I never really wanted to hang out anyway." She said standing up. "I have a long day tomorrow, so I should get some sleep."

"No, no you don't! I said standing up as well. "You sit back down, Rebecca, we're not done talking."

She sat down sighing. "Mom, we're just going to get into another fight, and it's thanksgiving night. I don't want to fight with you." She said softly. "I really don't. I thought we had a good day. We hardly have these."

"So talk to me. Why do you think we hardly have these? Why do you spend so much time away from me, in your room? Do you not want to help me?" I asked bitterly. "It's your fault my knee isn't better. You could help me get a physical therapist, you know."

"Mom, please. I don't want to talk about this right now." She said as she tried to leave again.

"No, Rebecca, tell the truth. I want you to tell me what you think." I said as I took a big gulp of my wine.

"I think, you're faking it." She said softly as she sat back down. "I think that you are better, you just need some kind of help. Mom, you go through a case of cigarettes a month. Five hundred packs. Recycling is always wine bottles and they take up more than the paper and plastic we throw out. And I swear you have a prescription drug abuse problem. I want to help you. I just don't think you see that you have these things." She said bitterly.

"I can't believe it. What are you now, a psych doctor?' I asked as I filled my glass again. "You think you know everything? Well you don't. I know more than you, and in fact, those crackpot shrinks." I said bitterly. 'I'm an old woman. I have trouble healing. Okay?" I asked bitterly.

"Mom, I've seen you walk without your cane." She said softly. "When you think I'm not looking."

"You think that proves it?" I asked standing up and shouting at her. "You think I'm suddenly not in pain just because you see me without my cane? Well guess what? I'm just testing it! I have to recover after that for a whole day!"

"Oh, is that why I do all the cooking, cleaning and cat feeding, mother?" she asked standing up as well. 'I knew this wouldn't go anywhere. I knew it. God dammit, mom, I thought we could have a good holiday. I'm sorry for thinking that." She said as she turned to leave and left her glass on the table.

"Come back here!" I shouted bitterly. "I'm not done talking to you. I heard all you had to say, now it's your turn.""

What?" she asked as she turned back to me.

"Look Becca, I'm sorry. I'm really trying to get better. I hope you know that." I said bitterly. "I just need you to give me time. And these dumbass doctors need to fill my meds. They're the ones making me function as well as I can half the time."

"Mom, that's not true. You just sit there, and sleep or watch TV. I heard you on the phone one day asking a friend from NA to give you something. You even went through my stuff." She said bitterly.

"I will not sit here, being accused of going through your stuff, missy!" I shouted so loud my voice cracked. "I am not an asshole, Rebecca!" I shrieked. "I don't know what kind of thoughts are between your ears, but I am not an asshole! I'm just trying to be okay during the last years of my life. Okay?" I asked bitterly. "With no help from you."

"Again I say, I cook, clean, feed the kitties, and I do all the laundry." She said bitterly. "The weekends are the only time you go out. Only because you have to buy wine and cigarettes. That's the only reason why. I'm surprised you smoke outside." She said bitterly. "I heard you throwing up in your room once out the window because you just can't get up to go to the bathroom. Mom, you need help! I bet you're drunk by two in the afternoon, sleep it off, and wake up just in time to have me get home. Sobering up along the way."

"I do not." I said softly as I thought hard about it. Who did she think she was. Besides, I only got a little drunk. I was also careful and mixed only a little bit of pills with my alcohol. I knew about how dangerous mixing things was for me. I could end up in a coma.

"Look, I'd like to spend some time with my daughter." I said softly. 'Let's not talk about things that could start a fight. Okay? I will try harder to get better and do more of the chores around the house. Is that enough for you to maybe love me?" I asked bitterly.

"Mom, I do love you. I just worry about you." She said bitterly. "I want you to stay alive for a long time. This looks like maybe it won't happen if you keep drinking, smoking and using pills." She said as she reached out and took a sip of her wine. I thought for sure she was going to hug me.

"I will think about it, Becky." I said softly. "Now, you want to watch some TV before we go to bed? It seems a little lame to just eat and go to bed right away. It's only ten." I said looking at the clock.

"Yes. I'd like that." She said smiling as she sat back down and leaned back in her seat. "What would you like to watch?" she asked.

We settled on watching a Roseanne Thanksgiving special. I knew she didn't like this, but she was here thanks to me. SO I felt I had a right to pick the TV station and program.

"I'll give you the honor of catching up to me. I've had eight glasses." I said smiling gently at her.

"Oh mom. I'm only on my third. No way I'll get to eight tonight." She said laughing.

"Come on, Becky. You can try." I said smiling at her as we settled down.

We watched a lot of TV. Alternating between Roseanne and the discovery channel stuff she liked. I felt if I didn't give her something to watch, she might just leave. I really did like her, you know. She was my daughter and I wanted to try and make a connection with her.

She actually got to her fifth glass, when I couldn't handle it anymore and started drinking again. I opened a fresh bottle and didn't bother to poor myself a glass. I just drank it straight out of the container.

"Way to go, mom." She said smiling at me. "Is that what you do all day? Just sip it out of the bottle?" She asked laughing a sexy laugh.

"Why?" I asked bitterly. "You gonna lecture me about that?"

"No. I think it's fucking badass. Mom doesn't care about rules. She drinks straight out of the bottle, like a man." She said smiling at me gleefully.

"Hey, I know what we should do. Let's talk." I said as I took the remote and turned off the Roseanne episode we were watching. "Let's talk about girl stuff. We never talk." I said as a peaceful feeling settled over me. "You're always bitching we don't get along, I say we should start."

"Okay." She said trying to sober up, and failing. "What do you wanna talk about?" she asked as I stood up.

"Well, first let me take a break. I need a smoke." I said as I left to get a cigarette pack from my room.

"I'll go with you." She said as she got up and walked over to me.

"Don't fall." I said as I saw her stumbling a little.

We went outside and sat on the pick nick table I had in the tiny backyard. She had grabbed one of my jackets and was bundled up across from me as I lit up.

"So tell me about yourself." I said smiling at her and trying to not blow the smoke in her face. "What's been going on? You dating anyone?" I asked.

"Nah. I haven't found anyone really that can make my toes curl. Men are such pigs. I'm too embarrassed to ask women out."

"Wait! I gasped as I almost dropped my cigarette. "You date women?" I asked confused.

"Yes. I am bisexual." She said smiling at the ground. "I didn't know how to tell you." She said as she distracted herself by taking a big gulp from her glass.