It's Not Like It Looks

My friend, all you need do is say the word and this sonna-ma-bitch will never bother your bride again. I swear on my grandchildren's eyes not one finger will be laid on her but she will learn her lesson.

I remembered mumbling something like "thank you but I'm afraid it's too late."

Angelo took my hands in his and said, "But it's not too late to keep her from hurting you again."

I turned and nodded my head. "Do it."

We spent a few minutes discussing my schedule so I would not be anywhere nearby when justice was served.

I was in a daze as I walked back to my house.

Later that evening I remembered the fabled bottle of cognac was still in my car. I was still pretty rattled about our earlier conversation and had been debating non-stop whether he was serious. I left the box on Angelo's stoop, rang his doorbell, then hustled back to my house so I wouldn't have to talk to him again.

Act III Return to the present date

The whore speaks

I was dark out when I rounded the last curve before my house. Traffic was stopped by a police car blocking the road. The officer walked over and said, "Sorry sir but only residents are being allowed in."

I pulled out my wallet and handed the officer my driver's license. He looked at the address, then the name. His face changed to an awkward embarrassed look.

"I'm sorry Mr. Rockwell."

I could see people standing on their front lawns pointing at me as I drove by; a few waved.

There were a couple of large trucks from TV stations parked on the street and the remains of a burned out Corvette in my driveway so I had to park a couple of doors away. As I got closer one of the reporters spotted my uniform and I was soon the center of attention with a dozen questions shouted at the same time...the loudest kept screaming, "Did you kill him?"

I held up my hand and began to speak; flashbulbs blinded me for a moment. "Earlier today I was informed by the Chicago Police Department that my wife of thirty years was having an affair and her lover had been murdered in my driveway. This took place while I was flying an airplane over the Atlantic Ocean. So, no, I did not kill him. But I would like to thank whoever rid society of that piece of human garbage."

I had been rehearsing that line all the way home and was hoping I would get a chance to use it. A police officer shouted, "Let 'em through." I thanked him and walked through the pack, pausing for a minute to survey the damage. I thought it made a good photo opportunity. All of the windows were boarded up and my garage was a burned out shell. Thankfully the solid brick walls kept the fire from spreading to the interior of the house.

I opened the door and stepped inside.

"So now you tell me, what's not like it looks?"

Sally wiped her face with her sleeve; she looked like shit. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"No kidding!" I shouted. "It was supposed to be you and me against the world. I dropped to my knees sobbing. "You destroyed us...you destroyed our family...our life together...you destroyed everything!"

Sally didn't answer but I could hear her fighting for air; her breathing sounded like an asthmatic who needed his inhaler.

"Why! Why! Why!" I buried my face in my hands and tried to catch my breath.

Sally began to spew apologies, swearing she loved me. "I don't know why! You're the only man I ever loved. I am so sorry I hurt you..."

I wanted to hurt my wife as bad as she hurt me, "Did you know your fuck buddy was married and his wife is nine months pregnant. Their baby will grow up without a father because of you."

"Oh God no!" She screamed.

"Did you know you weren't the only whore he was fucking. The detectives said they had several other husbands that were suspects. You were just another whore to him."

She moaned a woeful sound like I never heard a human make.

"I swear I was going to break up with him today...it was over. I felt so guilty over ruining Paris..."

I told her to shut her lying mouth. "You felt guilty because you didn't go to Paris! You should have felt guilty for being a whore! And when exactly were you going to break up? After you fucked him? I know the police found him in his underwear so don't lie to me."

Sally began to moan, "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me..Please..."

"I had the funniest thought. If you really had felt guilty over ruining Paris you would have broken it off before you let that bastard into our house for a farewell fuck. If you had done that he would have been killed at someone else's house and you would have gotten off scot free because I never suspected anything. I would have went on as the blissful idiot thinking my wife was faithful. Well whore, how many other men have you fucked during our marriage that you got away with?"

"I swear, I swear to God he's the only one ever."

"Why should I believe you?

Sally clutched her stomach and doubled over as if she was going to puke.

"I never thought I would say this but my mother was right about you. She hated you from the first moment she met you. You remember that day...it was three months after our prom and you came by to tell me you missed your period."

"Mom said you did it on purpose to trap me. But even though she had nothing but contempt for you she opened her house to us. I can't tell you how many times she slipped me a few dollars because she knew I didn't have a penny to my name. She always made me promise not to tell you she had paid for the baby formula."

"And when I became a pilot flying milk runs, who watched our son so you could go to college?"

"I always wanted to prove mom wrong. It made me sick to have her treat you like a pariah while fawning over my brother's wives. But I always stuck up for you because we were a team. We were one."

When you became a professor I beamed with pride at what you had accomplished. That was the first time I saw her look proud at anything you did. Now I thank God she's not alive to see you destroy us.

Sally screamed "Oh God why!" then grew silent.

"You know my dad died when I was barely twelve. On evening, when I was about fifteen, I asked mom why she still wore her wedding rings. Before she could answer I said something only a stupid teenage boy would, "Mom, you don't look that old. You should go out."

She smiled, wrapped her hands around mine and said, 'I can't do that because I'm married. We swore before God and all our friends and family to forsake all others"

"But dad is dead."

" Nothing's changed . Your father lives in my heart as much as when he lived in our home. And someday we'll be together again."

"I told her I didn't understand"

She just smiled and said she would pray that someday I would."

"It took a long time for me to mature enough to begin to understand the depth of their love and how their commitment went beyond the grave. I never told you this but on my first flight a stewardesses invited me to have a drink with her on our layover. She was drop dead gorgeous and I was tempted...but only for a moment. I thought of my mom, showed her my wedding ring, and said. 'I can't do that because I'm married.'

"I can't begin to tell you how many times I turned down similar offers. Word got around pretty quick that I was pussy whipped. I wore that insult as a badge of honor." I let out a long sigh.

"I've never seen a more perfect love than my parents had...I used to think we were getting there. And now, you've destroyed us. All I have left for you is hatred."

Sally managed to stop crying long enough to say, "Please, I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Anything. Okay, just travel back through time...back to when that piece of human garbage began his seduction. I want you to change history. I want you to tell him to fuck off because you're happily married. I want you to tell him your husband has the most glamorous job in the world and treats you like a queen. I want you to tell him to go home to his pregnant wife. I want you to tell him that if he ever talks to you again your husband will kick his ass. Can you do that?"

Sally dropped to her knees wailing. She shook her head in the negative.

"I didn't think you could."

"Please, forgive me...please."

"I'm leaving. I don't know where I'm going but I've got to get away from you."

Sally lunged at me and caught my ankle, "No, please. please," she pleaded.

"Let go of me or I'll break your fucking arm off."

She released her grip and I turned and began towards the door. As it opened she screamed, "I wish he had killed me too."

The whore must have read my mind.