Jenny's Story Ch. 03

By sbrooks103x, inspired by Jenny Maitland in "Faithful," by Todd172, with permission.

Thanks to Todd172 for his permission to tell Jenny's story and his advice, Crkcppr for Beta reading, and, as always, blackrandl1958 for her sweet inspiration and editing.

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I held it together for as long as I could after the telegram came - for Tommy's sake, more than anything else; but I had always relied on the "Us," John and me together, for my strength. As much as I fought it, I could feel myself sinking into the depths of despair again.

There was no way that I could run the farm by myself, so I had to let most of it lie fallow while Tommy and I stayed at Mrs. Strickland's. Part of the farm was tended by our neighbors under a war-time agricultural program, providing me with a small income, but it wasn't enough to support us so I took a job at the cord factory making bootlaces while Mrs. Strickland watched Tommy.

Every day I fought the depression, but it got harder and harder as I sank down deeper and deeper. My appearance was deteriorating and I barely interacted with anyone except Tommy.

One day I had finally reached my limit, and had decided I just couldn't go on any longer. As I was leaving for work, I bent over, gave Tommy a kiss and whispered, "No matter what happens, remember that I'll love you forever."

The gods must have been smiling at me, for Mrs. Strickland was concerned about me and went to wake Mark up.

Meanwhile, I had reached the factory and tried to open the industrial cord winder, planning on wrapping the cord around my neck and letting the machine do its job. Unfortunately for my plans, but fortunately for my future, the cage door protecting it was locked.

My plans momentarily foiled, I just stood there for a moment. I then noticed the cord cutters on the floor, picked one up and walked unsteadily to the bathroom, locking the door.

I could hear the girls screaming and pounding on the door as I began to make the cuts on my wrists that would take me away from all this pain.

Just as the blood started to flow the door was smashed open and Mark was there. He hesitated just a split second before slapping the cord cutter out of my hands. He gathered up my blood-splattered form and carried me back to the boarding house where Mrs. Strickland bandaged my wrists. Fortunately, I had not reached any of the main veins and I had only caused surface wounds.

As soon as Mrs. Strickland was finished dressing my wounds, Mark took Tommy and me back to the farm.

Mark kept his promise to John, staying with me, watching over me.

He worked almost 20 hours a day between the farm and the factory. When he wasn't working, he was taking care of Tommy or me. At first Mark didn't think that it would be proper to stay at the farm house, so he spent his nights at Mrs. Strickland's; but it soon became obvious that I was in no condition to be by myself. I was such a wreck when he arrived in the morning that he eventually started sleeping on a couch in the hallway near our bedrooms to be better able to keep watch over me, then as I improved he moved to the spare bedroom.

It took me almost a year, but I eventually sought some comfort in his arms; I desperately needed a human touch. At first, we just slept together, with his strong arms wrapped around me, keeping me grounded, keeping me safe, keeping me there for Tommy.

We both tried to fight it, but eventually the physical closeness led to the inevitable: we had sex. As much as I loved Mark as a friend, I just couldn't call it "making love," certainly not like what I had with John.

At first, when I realized I was pregnant I panicked, but Mark calmed me down and reassured me. When Gracie was born, she was so beautiful that I realized that I wasn't worthless, not just another Maitland girl.

I told Mark that I couldn't marry him, that I couldn't betray John like that, despite the disapproving looks from many of the people in town.

Then came the word. John was alive! Mark and I immediately moved to separate bedrooms.

I was terrified! What would he say? What could I say? I had slept with his best friend, I had his baby!

Mrs. Strickland sent a message: John was home, making his way there, to the farm.

Would he accept that I thought he was dead as a valid excuse, that Mark had saved my life? Could I live with the guilt?

We stood there at the open farmhouse door, Gracie in my arms, Mark beside me, and Tommy peeking out from behind me at this near stranger walking towards our house. I was terrified!

John hesitated partway up the path, but I could wait no longer.

I handed Gracie to Mark, ran down the path and threw myself into John's arms.

"John, I... I," I sobbed, unable to get anything else out.

"Shhhh," he said, reassuringly. "I'm here now, I'm back."

Then, he picked me up and carried me inside as I tried to apologize and explain.

"John," I cried, "I'm so sorry, b-but we thought you were dead! I tried, please believe me I tried to be strong for Tommy, but you were my rock, you believed in me, valued me, even when I couldn't believe in myself.

"When I got the telegram that you were missing and presumed dead it was as if someone cut my anchor and I was adrift on storm-tossed seas."

"It's all right, Jenny," John said, "Mrs. Strickland explained it all to me..."

I saw him looking at the scars on my wrists and knew intellectually that he believed me; but that still didn't help me get over the guilt, the belief that I had cheated on the man who I loved, who almost literally gave me my life back, gave me something to live for.

"Jenny," he said, "I can't pretend that you having sex with another man, having his baby, doesn't give me pause, but I do understand.

"Tell me, Jenny, why didn't you marry Mark? You obviously have feelings for him, everybody thought I was dead, nobody could have, would have, faulted you. It certainly would have saved you a lot of embarrassment!"

"I'm not really sure, John," I said. "Partly it was because as much as I love Mark as a friend, I was never 'in love' with him. Partly, I think I must have somehow known, deep down, that you weren't dead, that you would somehow return to me and Tommy."

"I can't say that I'm 100% comfortable with the situation," John said, "But I've spoken to Mrs. Strickland and some of the people at the factory, and I think I've got some understanding of what you were going through.

"I wouldn't be human if I didn't have some anger towards Mark, but I did ask him to look after you, and I can't honestly say that things would have really been any different if our positions were reversed."

Things weren't settled in one conversation, not even in one night; and not without a lot of crying, especially by me.

John eventually came to realize that the only other option was to come home to a wife in a grave and a son in an orphanage, maybe even adopted with a new set of parents.

As with all couples, we still had our arguments, even fights. Once in a while I could see John literally biting his tongue to keep from throwing Mark in my face. A couple of times he did get angry enough to yell, "I'll bet you wish I never came back! Then you could be with Mark, Mr. Perfect!"

This would send me running out of the room bawling my eyes out. When he calmed down he would always come to me, take me in his strong arms and keep telling me how sorry he was, and I knew that it was true.

We still had Gracie to consider. She was my daughter, but also Mark's. There was no way we were going to keep him from his child, but we all knew that there was no way that Mark could stay in our house!

John eventually helped Mark build a house on the other side of our property so that he could still be near his daughter.

Mark eventually met and fell in love with a very sweet girl, which went a long way towards eliminating John's residual jealousy, though it did result in some very interesting conversations with his fiancée!

As we lay in bed facing each other after sending Mark and June off on their honeymoon and putting Tommy and Gracie to bed, John turned to me and said, "You know what they say about you Maitland Girls?"

"Y-yes..." I said nervously.

"I guess they were wrong!" he said, flipping me onto my back and making sweet love to me.

The End