Jessie

Author's note.

This is just a little story about gender bending and gender identity, intended to create confusion by playing with the idea that everybody is by nature identified as either male or female. There is no explicit sex in it, just explicit references to it.

*****

"Oh yes, it's Friday!"

"Charley, it's early. Don't be so loud, please."

"Yes, sorry dear. It's just that it's Friday. Come here, I give you a kiss."

"Thanks. Why the enthusiasm?"

"Because it's Friday, and it's the forth Friday of the month. That's always the best."

"You still have a long day of work to go through. Party is tonight only. Why don't you go make me some nice breakfast, and I'll follow soon."

"Of course, love. See you in a moment. Enjoy morning, but not too long."

Devon sank back in bed, fighting sleep, while Charley went down to the kitchen to prepare them some breakfast.

Every morning similar rituals take place in homes all over town. Alarm clocks start to ring, televisions are switched on, bread is put in toasters, pancakes are baked. Today is Friday, the last day of the week. The end of a period of work, the start of a short period off. Many couples will wake up together. He fixes breakfast while she takes the time to get her make-up done, after that helping him doing his tie. Or sometimes she fixes breakfast, allowing him to check for messages on his phone in the meantime.

The exact rituals vary. All couples have their rituals, each having his or her tasks, every morning the same, no questions asked. They both know what's expected of them. Each his or her own role in the game of life.

Some roles are usually handed to the woman, others to the man. Women clean, men fix stuff. Or so it is supposed to be, not everybody is following such standards. There are plenty of men that like to cook, there are plenty of technical women. Does it really matter, who is doing which part, as long as it gets done?

"Jaime!"

"Yes, Taylor?"

"Fried or boiled egg for breakfast?"

"Fried!"

For many people, weekends are for partying. For others a time to rest and to do stuff in and around the house. And for yet others time to meet up with friends, to go out in the mountains, or to go have a swim in the sea or a nearby lake. The opportunities are endless.

For me, there is no difference between weekends and weekdays. A day is a day, as any other day. I'm an independent photographer and artist, I work whenever there is work, and many such those jobs are in those days called "weekend". I'm also the organiser of the rather popular "decoupled couples night" every second and fourth Friday of the month. A party for couples, and only for couples, to go and be decoupled for the night. You could call it a swingers party as well, of course.

"Devon, breakfast is ready. You coming?"

There was no answer. Charley walked up the stairs, Devon was still in bed.

"Devon, wake up, sleepyhead."

"Huh, oh sorry, I must have dozed off."

"Get dressed, we have to go in 15 minutes. You'd give me a ride, remember?"

"Oh, oh yeah, true." Pushing back the blankets, Devon got up and started to get dressed.

An introduction may be in place. My name is Jessie. I like that name, it's got a nice ring to it, my parents made a good choice. I'm in my late 20s, maybe early 30s, something like that. No, you don't get to see my passport to check my actual age as it's not important. I'm of rather average height, fairly slender build. Not muscular, I don't do weight training. Short dark hair, bright blue eyes, many people say I look pretty. I take their word for it.

My life story starts with me being born, like all of us. As social experiment my parents decided to keep my gender ambiguous to the outside world. They never talked about "my daughter" or "my son", it was always, and actually still is for them, "my child". Of course people asked them the question, "is it a boy or a girl?" Their standard reply to that was, and still is, a simple "Yes," sometimes clarified as "Yes, it's a boy or a girl" if the other person was looking too confused.

It is quite rare that anyone asks more after that reply, as it is so unexpected that they do not know what to say. Everybody has to have a gender, be a male or a female, it defines ones identity. Not having a defined gender seems impossible. The child having grown up to an adult, and the parents still refusing to reveal the gender, that's even more out of the ordinary. Of course it was originally their idea, but when I got old enough to understand it I took it over and they stick to it with my blessing. It's just too funny.

A side effect, for better or for worse, is keeping my circle of friends small. There are not many people that can handle their friend to be a guy, then a girl, then a guy again. My secondary school teachers for sure hated me for it.

"Jaime, you coming? Your egg is ready! Taylor-made to your wishes."

"Thanks, you're so sweet. Almost done, coming down in an instant."

A minute later Jaime came down, and sat down at the table, while Taylor fetched a bottle of orange juice before sitting down as well.

"Thanks for the egg, Taylor, it's great."

"Welcome."

"Looking forward to tonight?"

"Yes. Couples Decoupled, but you never end the night alone."

"Indeed. We'll always get coupled again. Mix and match."

"Will Devon and Charley come again?"

"I guess so. Didn't talk to them this week, they usually do. Casey and Dominique would come, and I think Jan and Morgan will come too."

"Sounds like fun."

Tonight another of my "Couples Decoupled" nights is scheduled. This is merely a hobby of mine, it doesn't make me money. Each couple pays their fee, which includes food and drinks and covers the rent of the hotel's banquet hall and a room at the hotel for the night.

Rooms are simply assigned on demand, when a couple wants a room they can just go and get a key. The catch is that the couples going to the rooms are never the same as when they arrive. I take care of that part. The rules very simple. You never share a room with the partner you arrive with, yes means yes, no means no, and what happens in the room, stays in the room.

I run them twice a month, the second and the fourth Friday, and one on the fourth always has some gender bending theme to it. Males become females, females become males. Role reversal and ambiguity are both part of the game. Now while most of the people that join are straight, the couples that join are also exclusively male female couples, occasionally a same sex couple makes it to the rooms. I have considered adding gay couples in the mix but I'm afraid that makes it too complex.

Devon and Charley finished their breakfast, and put the dishes in the sink without washing them. There was just no time for that this morning, as Charley's car was under repair, so they had to carpool.

"I'll pick you up shortly before six, please don't be late. We've got a party to go to and still have to get changed," Devon urged when they arrived at Charley's workplace.

"I do my best, hope no customer calls in at the last moment."

"And don't forget to think about what you want to wear tonight. You got my whole wardrobe to choose from."

"Same accounts for you. Have a nice day!"

They kissed, and Charley got off the car.

Friday moved on, second became minutes, minutes became hours, and then finally it was time for lunch. Only half the day to go, and all over town minds began to wander. Thinking about the weekend that was coming closer and closer. Thinking about what to do, thinking about what to wear. And for some people, thinking about how to get in that outfit in the first place.

With the help of some hotel staff I prepare the banquet room for tonight's party. Fifteen couples registered, a reasonable turnout. The forth always has a bit lower turnout than the second, many people just don't like their gender to be messed with. I have the feeling they're a bit afraid of losing their identity.

I have always felt affinity for both genders. I'm ambivalent, as they call it. It's said that some five percent of the people are like that, feeling like they could fit in with both genders. This in contrast to transgenders, who identify strongly with the gender opposite to their biological sex. I'm perfectly happy with the body that I have.

The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Charley, where are you? I'm waiting for you!"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't pay attention to the time. Give me five minutes, and I'm down with you."

"You'd better be there before the cops give me a parking ticket!"

"Yes, dear, love you, honey, see you soon, darling."

"Yeah, yeah, enough sweet talk, now hurry, will you?"

Barely five minutes later Charley darted out of the door, crossed the street, threw open the door of the car, and jumped in.

"Now was that fast, or was that fast?"

"I think that was fairly fast."

"Did I deserve a kiss for that?"

"You deserve a kiss for asking so nicely, that's all."

They quickly drove home. Devon started to prepare their dinner, while Charley went to the bedroom to look for a nice outfit for the evening.

Five minutes later, Charley came down the stairs carrying two dresses. "Which one shall I take, the blue one or the green one?"

"Mmm... both will be very tight on you. The blue one is rather low cut, I think you're much better off with the green one."

"OK. Reminds me I still have to find some real looking fake boobs. Would be fun to show some cleavage, don't you think?"

"Sure. But don't get too big ones, I'd get jealous of you being bigger than me."

"At least you won't have an issue fitting in my suit, or hiding them."

Tonight is a reversal night. Such nights are always a blast. The outfits are just too funny. Role reversal, so he has to wear her clothes, and the other way around.

For the guys, that means squeezing in a too small dress, and then adding some filling at their chest, where the dress suddenly is too wide for them. Many will go all the way and put on some make-up, sometimes even a long haired wig and a corset to restrain that belly and even give them something of a waist.

For the girls, key is hiding their breasts. They have the opposite problem the men have, with often too large clothes. And especially girls with a large chest have a hard time to look masculine, there is nothing more feminine than to have lady lumps sticking out from your chest.

"Taylor, you coming?"

"Yes, almost done. Just finishing my make up."

"You shaved nice and smooth?"

"Extra smooth. Here, look, don't I look gorgeous?"

"Almost. Here, let me finish that make-up for you."

"Thanks."

"And how do I look?"

"Like a girl trying to look like a guy, and utterly failing."

"Why? I tried so hard."

"Well first of all maybe you should have taken a slightly wider shirt. The one you grabbed is a slim cut. Let me help you."

"Some things are just not meant to be hidden. I can't help my chest is not as small as say Devon's."

"I know. Here, take this shirt, that'll help hide them better. It's a bit baggy but that's just perfect for you. But those black dots you drew on your chin, that's just too fake."

"Hey I know I'm just too curvy to ever convincingly look like a bloke. So I'd better make it a caricature."

"Just get rid of them, OK?"

Halfway the evening there will be a reward for the best male and best female. The reward is just the honour for being called out. There is no prize to be won. Just a little reward for the best dressed cross dresser around.

The tables have been set up in the banquet, I'm almost done preparing. In an hour or two the first couples will arrive, and the fun can begin. The hotel is prepared, the waiters are all ready to serve drinks, and the kitchen is preparing the snacks. I really like this hotel. They fully support our antics, they even accepted my request to have the waiters dress in the opposite gender's uniform, and of course the waiters to accept this as well.

Time to have some dinner myself.

"Any idea what tonight will bring?" Devon asked, while she and Charley drove to the party.

"No idea, really. Jessie always comes up with some simple game."

"Some kind of speed dating I bet."

"But always with some kind of twist, as most people know one another already."

"Like two months ago, where you had to guess whether you had a man or a woman in front of you."

"Oh yeah, that was fun. I got most of them right."

"Except the one you ended up taking to a room," she teased.

Charley laughed. "Yeah, that was a girl after all, very well disguised as a guy. I really thought it was a guy, mostly curious how it would be, never been with a guy, and he seemed very interested in me. Then he was a she after all. I still had a lot of fun."

"You may try again tonight. If it looks like a girl, it should be a guy."

"True, true. Oh look, so many cars. It looks like a full house tonight."

"The hotel is doing well. And definitely not just because of us. OK, let's see where I can park."

At the age of four I enrolled to kindergarten. My parents had no choice but to specify my sex on the enrolment form, even though my ID card lists "X" for "unspecified gender". The government official is fairly free thinking when it comes to gender issues and has no problem writing down an X on my ID card instead of my actual sex as given on my birth certificate. However the kindergarten did not want to worry about which line I have to be in when going to toilet, and they were not going to build a third toilet just for me. For practical reasons female was selected, as on the girl's toilet everything is done behind closed doors.

My graduation to primary school changed that situation. I wanted to be the gender that's the same as my actual sex. Be it male or female, I am what I am, I do have genitals, biology has decided that part. In secondary school puberty came for me like for all the other kids, but my parents kept the genderless idea alive. It was only at the end of secondary school, when I was through puberty, that my ambivalence surfaced and I really started cross dressing and switching gender back and forth. My body is slender, shortish for man and tallish for a woman, making it easy to go either way.

"Good evening, good to see you two again," Jessie greeted, and gave them both a hug.

"Hi Jessie, glad to be at your party again. Looking forward to a great night," Charley said.

"You bet, I got some fun stuff planned for you. First please have a drink, the rest of my guests will come soon."

They walked to the bar, where two other couples were sitting already.

"Look, Charley, that guy's got a waitress' uniform. Jessie did it again."

"Oh, hi, Jaime, Taylor," Devon greeted their friends, hugging both.

Charley followed suit. "Girls are supposed to hug, isn't it?" he said to Taylor, who shrugged and hugged him.

"You two look great," Jaime said, looking at Charley and Devon. "If I didn't know better I'd think Charley is a girl, and Devon a guy. And did you notice the waiters? Total reversal."

"Yes, he's really paying attention to detail," Devon agreed.

"He? I thought Jessie is a she?" Taylor said.

"I've never been able to figure that one out," Charley chipped in. "Never really thought of it, Devon always says he, so for me Jessie is a man."

"Well, of course, short hair, flat chest, must be a guy," Devon argued.

"Round, soft face, slender figure, small hands, must be a girl," Taylor countered. "And the first party we joined she was wearing a dress, and was looking totally female, never doubted it. I thought she's just a cross dresser."

"And I must say that the two of you tonight prove your own perceptions to be wrong," Charley commented. "Devon with your short hair and flat chest, and Taylor with your soft facial features and slender figure. It's what a too small sports bra and some make-up can do."

Someone's gender is not always relevant. Does it matter whether a man or a woman releases the shutter, as long as the photo looks great? Does it really matter whether a man or a woman organises a party, as long as that party is good?

When men and women talk to each other, there is always, always at least some sexual tension. Except maybe when at least one of them is gay. It is just not really possible for a man and a woman to talk like how women talk to women, or how men talk to men. Removing that gender prejudice gives interesting results. However you can never really take it away, people will always assign a gender to others.

Sometimes I do parties where I ask the couples to dress as a single gender. They choose, will she dress up as a man, or will he dress up as a woman. And of course we do some games of males versus females where the assumed gender counts for deciding which side you are. Some people really get confused. Our language has it so embedded, you refer to people by their gender. He or she. If we don't have a gender, we can't refer to the person. The English language simply does not account for that possibility, the singular they doesn't really cut it.

"Hey guys, long time no see, how you doing?"

"Hi, Dominique, good to see you again. You look great. Where's Casey?" Charley asked.

"Around, saying hi to some other friends."

"Anyone in mind already to hook up with tonight?"

"Not at all. Last time spent the night with Jan, would be happy with an encore but open to new encounters. I've seen some new faces, would be happy to get to know them."

"I'm sure that'll be arranged for, one way or another."

The room quickly filled up with people, all dressed up as the opposite gender. Some totally looking the part, a quality that would let them get away with it in daily life. Others clearly uncomfortable in their partner's clothes. All were chatting happily, old friends greeting one another, having drinks and snacks, and just having fun.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, or for tonight maybe I should say gentlemen and ladies, I am so glad to see you all here." Everyone turned their heads towards Jessie, who stood on top of a couple of beer crates. "Welcome to this Decoupled Couples night. You all look wonderful.

"Tonight we have live music by the Men or Women of Soul, who will be playing some own songs and some all time favourites. At the door everyone got a paper to vote for what they think are the best looking male and female. In an hour I will collect your votes, and later tonight I'm going to call out the winners.

"And later we will also have a few rounds of mix and match, but more about that when we're having the games. For now I let the music play, and encourage you all to have a drink, something to eat, and maybe ask that beautiful person that caught your eye earlier tonight for a dance. Have fun!"

The party was opened, and was immediately in full swing. The moment Jessie was done talking the band started to play again.

"Taylor, you've confused me," Devon said, walking with him to the bar.

"What you mean?"

"Well, I always thought Jessie is a man, now you say he's a woman. And indeed from his looks he could be a woman."

They sat down at the bar, and ordered a drink.

"So Devon, what now?" he asked.

"I want to know, for real."

"Whether she's a man or a woman, you mean? Wonder how we can figure that one out, without stripping her."

Devon pondered for a moment, then replied, "Well, how about a feel between his or her legs. That should be quite definitive. I mean you can hide what's down there very well in slightly wide clothes, or under a dress. But not against a feel."

"You ever felt another woman's pussy? Even when dressed?"

"No, but one time has to be the first."

"Agreed. I also never touched another man's balls. Still wondering how that'd feel like."

"This could become interesting."