Jessie & The Tornado Ch. 02

"I have told dozens of women 'it wasn't your fault,' but I had never believed that about myself," she continued.

"I lied to my mother about where I was going, I sneaked around to go to the concert, I didn't insist that the guys take me straight back home, and I took a drink from someone I didn't know. For nearly three years, I believed that it WAS my fault. That I had put myself in that position.

"Then three months ago I was counseling a woman over the phone, and her story was almost word for word like mine. She had just found out she was pregnant also.

"The entire time, I kept telling her it wasn't her fault . . . that it wasn't her fault. Finally, she said 'I can hear it in your voice. You think it was my fault.' Then she told me she was going to swallow a bottle of pills and kill herself and hung up.

"I wasn't blaming her, but I was blaming myself and she could hear it in my voice. I thought I was responsible for someone else dying.

"I broke down completely, became hysterical and could barely tell anyone what had happened. Fortunately, she changed her mind, but I didn't find out about that until later. They had to call 9-1-1 to sedate me that night. I woke up in the hospital, and began talking to a counselor about my situation. And I finally could accept that it wasn't my fault. It took two months of twice-weekly counseling, but I finally began to realize it was not my fault. Yes, I had made some bad choices, but rape is not the victim's fault.

"Then I realized that I needed to talk to you. To finally explain to you -- the only person I have ever loved -- what happened. To ask if you can ever forgive me for not telling you what happened?"

"Oh Debbie," I said, "you don't even need to ask, but yes, I forgive you.

"Yes, it really hurt, but I understand . . . at least I think I understand . . . why you felt like you couldn't talk to me. I just want you to know that I do love you.

"And nothing would make me happier than for us to get back together again."

Debbie just looked into my eyes for a minute, then slowly, cautiously, put her lips against mine.

I let her control the pace of the kiss, letting her get comfortable. Soon her tongue brushed against my lips, and I opened my mouth. Debbie's eyes were closed as her tongue entered my mouth, then my tongue engaged hers and I think we both were just sort of swept away by the feeling.

We kissed, with increasing passion, for several minutes before Debbie pulled away.

"Oh, God, Sam," she said, "that was even better than I remember.

"Do you know that you are still the only guy I have ever kissed?" she asked.

I must admit I was surprised, especially considering how beautiful she was.

In fact I even questioned it, since I couldn't believe no one had asked her out before.

"Oh, they asked," she said with a smile, "but I always turned them down. Even had a couple of guys, who weren't used to being turned down, say that I must play for the other team.

"Sam . . . Sam . . . would you make love to me?"

I can't even begin to tell you how much her words thrilled my heart, but I must admit I was also a little worried.

"Are you sure Debs? I mean, yes, I want to make love to you so much, but are you sure?"

Debbie leaned back a little, and again looked deep into my eyes.

"Yes, Sam, I have never been so sure of anything in my life.

"In fact, we have my parent's house completely to ourselves for the rest of the day. Mom told me this morning, after making me promise to come over and talk to you, that she and Dad would be gone the entire day. She said they were going shopping in Raleigh, and the twins are spending a couple of weeks with their grandparents."

At her words, I began laughing.

"What?" she asked, with a very puzzled look, "What is so funny?"

"Debs, have your parents ever 'gone shopping' in Raleigh for an entire day before in the middle of the week?" I asked, using finger quotes.

"Actually, no," she said with a smile. "I really thought it unusual for her to say that. My Dad hates to go shopping with Mom."

"Well, this morning, my Mom told me that she and Dad were going shopping in Raleigh for the entire day," I said, "and I know how much my Dad hates to go shopping with my Mom.

"It looks like your parents and my parents are both trying to get us alone together for an entire day," I added.

"Wait," Debbie said, "why were you mowing the grass this morning? Usually no one mows the grass around here until the weekend, but today is Tuesday."

"I really don't know," I admitted, "Mom asked me this morning if I would mind mowing, and I told her of course not. But then she insisted that I had to start mowing this morning. I couldn't even wait until the afternoon. Why?"

"Well, I got in late Sunday night. Actually it was about three am Monday morning. So I slept until Monday evening. Then Mom and I talked for hours Monday night. I told her I had to talk to you about what happened and ask for your forgiveness. Mom was so happy that I was going to talk to you that she cried. You know how much she has always liked you Sam?"

I nodded.

"But I also told her that I was real nervous. That I was afraid that if I walked over and knocked, once you saw who it was you wouldn't even open the door or talk to me.

"Mom said don't worry about that. I know he will talk to you."

"That explains why I had to mow the grass this morning," I offered, "Mom wanted to make sure I was outside when you came over.

"Debbie, I think your parents and my parents are engaging in a conspiracy! God bless 'em all!

"So, young lady . . . your place or mine?"

Debbie blushed.

"Your place Sam. I've always loved your room."

After we finally got back to my parent's house, I couldn't help but notice how badly Debbie was trembling.

"Debbie, we don't have to do anything if you don't want. I have waited for three years and I can wait for a while longer," I said.

"I don't want to wait any longer Sam. Yes, I am scared, but I am not scared of you. I know you would never do anything to hurt me. I am scared that . . . I don't know . . . I'll have a flashback and do or say something wrong, or that I might not be good enough for you. But I want this . . . and you . . . so much."

With those words, Debbie reached up and put her arms around my neck and pulled my head down until we were kissing. She stopped just long enough to tell me to pick her up.

I leaned down, put my arms around her and straightened up, and Debbie immediately wrapped her legs around my waist. I carried her back to my bedroom, then walked over and set down on the bed.

Debbie and I continued kissing for several more minutes. When we finally stopped, Debbie rested her head against the top of my shoulder and said, in a very soft whisper, "Please be gentle with me Sam. There has been no one since that night."

The she started to cry softly, "They hurt me so bad, Sam. Not just the physical pain, but knowing they were taking something that I wanted to give to you."

I let Debbie cry, while continuing to reassure her that I would be gentle, that I loved her and had always loved her.

Finally, Debbie leaned back, wiped her eyes and said, "Now Sam, now. Make love to me."

I gently laid her back on my bed, then started raining kisses down upon her. Kissing her forehead, both eyes, her nose, and her cheeks. I nibbled on her ear, kissed the side of her mouth, kissed her neck and moved down to the little hollow at the base of her throat.

Then I very gently placed my lips against hers. Her mouth immediately opened, and her tongue plunged into my mouth as she began kissing me . . . desperately is almost the only word to describe it.

We kissed for several minutes until I slowly moved my hand up and cupped her breast through her t-shirt. Debbie stiffened for a moment, then relaxed as I began caressing her nipple.

I already knew she wasn't wearing a bra from caressing her back while down at the creek. In fact, I remembered that Debbie rarely wore a bra except when she was at school, or going out somewhere.

Her breasts were very small, but I also remembered how firm they were. Debbie used to complain so much about the size of her breasts, and I also remembered she once told me she usually wore an "A" cup.

Believe me, I had never complained. I always thought Debbie's breasts were perfect for her body.

In the three years since then, I had been with a lot of women, and many, in fact I think all, had larger breasts than Debbie did, but I had always considered Deb's breasts as the most beautiful I had ever felt and kissed.

As I continued to rub her nipples through the t-shirt, Debbie began moaning.

After several more minutes of kissing and playing with her nipples, first one then the other, I moved my hand down to the end of her loose t-shirt and began moving the hem upward, across her stomach.

I felt Debbie again stiffen, then her hands stopped me from moving the shirt up anymore.

"No," she said softly, breaking the kiss for a minute.

When I moved my hand back up and again cupped her breast through the t-shirt, she whispered softly, "Yes, yes."

I began softly kissing her throat, then trailed my tongue across the hollow at the base of her throat, while continuing to caress her nipples.

Debbie gasped, then grabbed my face between her two hands and pulled me back up to her lips where she . . . well attacked my lips is the only word I can think of that would fit. She was almost desperately kissing me.

When we finally broke the kiss, Debbie started repeating one phrase, over and over: "Make love to me Sam. Make love to me now. Please make love to me now."

I moved one of my hands down to the waist of the shorts, then fumbled for a minute with the button. Once I had the shorts unbuttoned, I slid the zipper down, then started tugging on the shorts.

Debbie lifted her hips off the bed so I was able to remove both her shorts and panties.

Not wanting to use my fingers, lest I make her recall some unpleasant memories, I began kissing my way downward.

I sucked both nipples through the t-shirt and Debbie gasped and pulled my head down tightly against her.

Then I started kissing her stomach and lower abdomen, and reamed out her belly button. Debbie again gasped.

I continued my trail of kisses down until I reached her bikini trimmed pubic hairs and started licking my way down further.

This wouldn't be the first time I had performed cunnilingus, or oral sex on Debbie. I had, in the past, given her any number of orgasms this way.

Remember, during our junior year I said we had really started experimenting with how far we could go, while still avoiding penetration, other than with my fingers or tongue? And Debbie would always return the favor, using her tongue and mouth on me until I had my climax.

But today we both knew that there would be no stopping.

Also, I was a lot more experienced in having oral sex with a woman. I knew a lot more now than I did then about what a woman enjoys.

Usually I could tease a women with my tongue for a long time before getting her off, but today I didn't want to wait. I didn't want to make Debbie wait. I wanted her to have an orgasm as quickly as possible, without rushing too quickly through it.

I was a lot more concerned with Debbie's enjoyment than my own.

"I licked her slit slowly from the bottom all the way up, and then pushed my tongue into her pussy as far as I could. She really seemed to get off on that, so I kept it up, alternating licks with tongue-fucking until finally my mouth found her clit. She really seemed to get off on that, so I kept it up, alternating licks with tongue-fucking until finally my mouth found her clit. When I licked her there, I could feel her starting to shake." Almost immediately she gasped, her body convulsing with an orgasm.

"Oh Yes, Oh God Yes Sam, MY Sam," she cried out.

I let her relax for a minute or two before again licking and tonguing her vulva.

In a few minutes I moved back up and this time started sucking on her clitoris. As she began another orgasm, I pushed a finger deep inside her and I could feel her body react as her orgasm intensified.

I left my finger inside as she again came down, then slowly started moving my finger in and out.

Soon my tongue was caressing her slit again, and I added a second finger.

Damn, I could not believe how tight Debbie was on my two fingers. Yes, I knew my hands and fingers were bigger than they used to be, since I could not even wear my old baseball glove, but had they grown THAT much?

Soon Debbie had her third and most powerful orgasm of the morning and just screamed my name over and over.

This time as she began to come down, she grabbed my head in both hands and began pulling me upwards to her lips. Unmindful of her own juices which were covering my face, she began kissing me very hard, then stopped and said, "Now, Sam, I want to feel you inside me. Please Sam, make love to me. Now!"

I stood up beside the bed and quickly pulled off my t-shirt. I never took my eyes off Debbie's face, and could see her eyes widen at the sight of my shoulders and chest. Yes, I was a lot bigger than I used to be!

I sat down on the edge of the bed, then quickly slipped off my shorts and underwear. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom.

Debbie's eyes never left my face and upper body.

As I positioned myself between her legs, I leaned down and kissed her again.

"I love you Debbie. I always have, and always will. If you want me to stop at any time, just say so," I told her.

She shook her head, then smiled, "I've dreamed of this moment for over three years. Now I want you -- all of you -- inside me."

I positioned my penis at her entryway, then slowly started pushing inside.

We never took our eyes off each other as I pushed inside. I could not believe how tight she was, and honestly didn't know if I would be able to fully enter Debbie without causing her a lot of pain.

Once or twice Debbie winced, and each time I stopped until I saw her nod "yes," before continuing.

By the time I was half-way inside her I could see tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Debbie, this may be enough for now," I began, "I can see that I am hurting you. We can try again later."

I saw some of the old fire in Debbie's eyes, once someone tried to tell her she couldn't do something. Whenever she was told she couldn't do something, she became like an enraged tigress, trying to prove them wrong.

"Don't even THINK about stopping now Sam, or I will never talk to you again," she said.

Then to my amazement she grabbed my shoulders with her hands and kind of flexed her lower body upwards, impaling most of me deep inside her.

"Ohhhh," she screamed out. "God, you are so big."

I pushed forward until the remaining inch was buried inside her, then leaned down and began kissing away the tears from her cheeks.

"Oh, Sam, NOW I am YOUR woman. Do you hear me, now I am YOUR woman?"

"And you will always be mine, Debbie, and I will always be your man," I told her.

After giving her a few minutes to get used to me, I slowly pulled out until only an inch or so remained inside, then started slowly pushing forward.

Her mouth opened wide as she gasped.

"Sam, Sam, I am so full!" she said in amazement as I bottomed out for the second time.

The third time, when I pushed forward -- just a little faster than before -- Debbie's hips shifted upward to meet my downward thrust.

"Yes, yes, yes," she said.

"It feels so good Sam," she said a few minutes later. "So full, but so damn good."

Then her body convulsed again as she had her first orgasm with me inside her.

I stopped moving until she had regained her breath a little, then starting increasing my pace.

Now I also moved one of my hands underneath her t-shirt and cupped her bare nipple, and started flicking her nipple with my thumb.

She had another, more powerful orgasm and a few minutes later when Debbie had her third orgasm I joined her with my own, then nearly collapsed on top of her.

I felt like I had just run a marathon. I don't know when I have ever been so tired.

It wasn't just the physical aspects of the lovemaking we had shared. I think the emotional toll probably accounted for most of the sheer exhaustion I now felt.

Seeing Debbie today, realizing that I had never stopped loving her, hearing her heart-wrenching story, finding out what she had gone through, then finally being able to consummate our relationship, my fear of hurting her or causing her distress by reliving what had happened to her were more than I had anticipated.

Looking at Debbie, I could also see the exhaustion etching her face, but at the same time see the joy and happiness in her eyes.

"I love you Sam," Debbie said.

"I love you Debs," I answered.

We both grinned stupid grins at each other.

Finally, reluctantly, I pulled out and heard her small gasp. I pulled off the condom, then tossed it in the trashcan beside the bed.

I laid down beside her, then pulled her over until she was on top of me.

Debbie smiled at me, leaned her head up and kissed me on the cheek, then put her head on my chest and snuggled her head against my jaw.

I think she was asleep within seconds. And I don't think I was very far behind her.

I am not sure how long I slept. Perhaps an hour, but when I woke up I was happier than I could ever remember being before.

Debbie had not moved, so I very carefully eased her off my chest onto the bed and on her back.

I have to admit I was curious about something.

Of course I had seen Debbie topless many times before during our junior year. And while we were making love she didn't seem to mind if I touched her breasts through the t-shirt, or put my hands underneath, but she didn't want me to see them.

Being very careful not to wake her, I gently pulled the t-shirt up over her breasts.

Yes, they were small. But still as beautiful as I remembered. And recalling how I was touching her earlier, still firm.

I didn't know why she didn't want me to see her now, but figured it had something to do with the rape. So I started to lower the t-shirt . . . only her breasts looked so beautiful, so perfect . . . I leaned over and gave one a quick kiss and lick. Instantly the nipple got hard, and I heard a very soft "mmmm," come from Debbie.

Not wanting the other breast to feel left out, I kissed that one and gave it little lick. It also got hard and I heard another, "mmmm," coming from Debbie.

Again, I started to lower the t-shirt, but stopped. They were so beautiful! So I leaned over and very carefully took one breast in my mouth and very, very gently starting sucking on the nipple. I heard another, longer and louder "mmmmmmmm," coming from Debbie.

Not wanting the other breast to be lonely, I repeated my actions and heard another long "mmmmmmmm."

I knew I had to stop before I woke Debbie up. When she was ready, she would talk about what was bothering her. But I did spend a minute or two just admiring her breasts before whispering, "See you two beautiful things later." I moved my hand up to pull her t-shirt down when Debbie's hand stopped mine.

I felt like a kid who had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. I looked up and met Debbie's eyes.

"Did you mean it?" she asked with a very serious look on her face, and I knew immediately what she was asking about.

"Of course I mean it Debs," I answered, "haven't I always told you how beautiful your breasts are, and how perfect for your body. I have always loved your breasts."

Debbie sat up in the bed and looked down at me for a minute. Then she snuggled against me and put her head on my shoulder.

"You know I have always been a little self-conscious about the size of my breasts," she said. I didn't want to interrupt her, so I just nodded