Jeurridam Ch. 01: The Arizona Paradise

"What the fuck did you just call me?" I asked.

"Bun-Bun, don't act like you're too good for old nicknames..." Ezekiel said, laughing.

I couldn't help but smile, haven't been called that in years. I was called Bun-Bun because I often pulled my nappy, tangled hair into a high held bun when it got in the way of my work. Those were the days I missed when work was not considered work and it was simply fun.

The smile quickly dissipated as I went back to working.

"It's been a long time since we talked, kid." Ezekiel said, reverting back to staring at the ceiling.

"There's no point... All I do is work, work, work, work, work... I have no life of my own. Nothing interesting happens to me. I'm just dry with nothing to give... " I sighed.

"Hey atleast you can work. I can't get any good jobs considering I can't read or write... Sometimes I have to do what I have to do just to get by. And it's not fair that my father treats me this was considering he wouldn't let me learn to read as a boy. It's like he wants me dumb and dependent on him but... I mont comfortable with that." Ezekiel said.

"It's also not fair that I'm being forced to work and don't see a penny for it." I said, showing my lack of empathy.

"Hey, Jeurridam is a tough place to live in... Sometimes you gotta do some fucked up things just to survive. Just be glad you're not out there in the world like I am. It'll swallow you then shit you out, man." Ezekiel said.

"And this is better because?" I asked.

"...Because, you have a bed to call your own, free food, electricity, your own bathroom, hell a fucking entire place to call your own. The only thing you're missing is a wife." Ezekiel teased.

"I'm sorry but that's just bullshit to me..."

"Seriously, bro," Ezekiel said, leaning up, "I'd be grateful to have what you have. You think I like doing what I do? I hurt people, Tanzanir! If I told you some of the fucked up things I've had to do to stay alive, you'd probably be afraid of me... My father man... He's the root cause of all my issues yet I can't depend on him to fix shit for me. He just wants me to do everything he says... I'm on my own bro."

"Well that's kinda sad." I said, starting to feel a bit more empathetic towards him.

"You know what's funny?" Ezekiel asked with a chuckle.

"What?"

"I used to be so jealous of you during my teen years. You got all the attention and praise from my dad for the things you could do when you weren't even his kid. It kind of crushed me, made me feel like I was shit. So I kind of hated you for a long while until I noticed that it was less about praising you and more about keeping you happy so they could milk profits out of you without you even knowing. I thought it was funny as fuck, but still I wished I could have been you. Just to be able to do half the things you are able to do would be amazing. I could find a job, wouldn't have to..." Ezekiel confessed.

"I can teach you what I know." I interrupted, suggesting something I never thought I would.

"Really?" Ezekiel asked, very pleased.

"I mean, it's gonna take you a while, and it'll be hard since you don't know how to read, but not impossible. I can show you the necessary skills to being a mechanic and engineer. Maybe one day I can show you programming." I continued.

"Programming?"

"It's a language in itself, very contextual and is mandatory when building most machines. I taught Beth a thing or two." I explained.

"Eh, Beth," Ezekiel sighed, "I just..."
"You know that girl loves you so much right? Between you, Heaven, Zion, and Celest, you're her favorite brother but you hurt her so much, man. She just wants you to get it together." I said.

"I try, I try all I do is try but no matter how much I want to let go of that world, the world can't quite do the same for me..." Ezekiel said.

"Well keep trying dude, you'll beat it eventually...you just got to have the will to endure." I said, trying to sound... encouraging.

"Easier said than done, bro."

"You know," I began, not believing what I was going to say, "I can deliver you from this. I can take the addiction right out your blood. You just gotta want it and promise me that you'll never revert back to it."

All Ezekiel could do was sit there in utter shock. It became clear to me that he was very much dealing with some complex feelings. While he sat there contemplating much, I placed all my prized electronics in the vault.

"I'm about to take a shower. Just think on it for a bit..." I sighed. I prepared some undergarments and ran the water. I took a brief shower, knowing I'd have laundry to do later. Upon exiting, I could see that Ezekiel still seemed to be deliberating.

"Ya know," He began, "I don't want my sister to think of me the way she does. I don't want her to think of me as filthy. I mean, I used to parade her around like she was my very own pride and joy, and now she...she's disgusted by me."

"You're not disgusting..." I sighed, rolling a big stack of filing cabinets out of the way.

"You're gonna have to prove it... I mean I'm gone for weeks at a time, steal from any and everyone and have a drug addiction I can't help. I got involved with some people who get you addicted to these drugs specifically so they can keep you coming back for more and do any and everything to get more drugs. Each time I go back, I don't know what they'll make me do next and every time, it gets worse and worse! If that's not disgusting, then what's not?" He countered.

"Ok if you want to sit there and find reason to be a poor excuse for a living being then do it," I said, sorting through my whites, "Keep doing the drugs, keep hurting people and keep hurting yourself. Don't you even try to say it's impossible to stop what you're doing, or to say you're in it neck deep, as is. If you want to quit, you can quit one way or another. The thing is, you do these drugs for gratification. You use them to fill some type of void that keeps you wishing for things that will never change... Hell, there is a lot that I wish I could change, a lot! The thing is, I'm willing to do something about it rather than sit and fester in my own misery just being a pathetic human being."

"You think I can stop cold turkey? Cocaine?" He asked with a chuckle. I turned to view him, leaning onto the washing machine.

"You'll need to be tied, foot and hands to posts for three days...tight! The withdrawal alone can nearly kill you...but it won't because there is an old trick I know to detox your body. Intravenously, plasma will be injected into your blood containing activated carbon. Carbon is a special element as it is able to form fourway bonds with any other element including the waste products your body doesn't need such as the chemicals related to your dependency on cocaine." I explained.

"What?" He asked, not able to comprehend most of what I said.

"I just stated a cure for your dependency," I sighed, loading my whites into the warm wash, "Don't worry. I will make sure you get it."

"Then what will I do after, sit around like the ignorant fool I am, not capable of doing anything resourceful, like you or my brothers and cousins." He said back.

"I told you I'll show you what I know. We can take it one day at a time... In a few months, you'll be a decent little handy man and if you keep working on it, you'll be great after some years. Hell, If I can teach all your brothers and cousins how to do this shit so I can relax... I mean, at this point I made it easy for myself," I said turning towards the big four pillars and motorized lintel, "That is a 3D printer... If you think I build anything anymore, you'd be mistaken. That thing manufactures everything I need, all I got to do is place in my illustrations, let the printer optimize and then it prints. The only thing I do is wire the machines when it's finished. My issue though, I'm the only one who does maintenance on the machines and at this point, we have thousands of ovens, refrigerators, dishwashers, microwaves, cooktops, televisions, radios and other appliances out there. Your family wants to monopolize the industry, yet they can't do the hard work themselves."

"Wait, so you don't do anything anymore?" Ezekiel asked.

"No, I do repairs. Anything that is built at this point, is built by the printer. I just double check it to make sure it has no faults." I clarified.

"That is fucking badass!" Ezekiel exclaimed.

"Eh..." I sighed.

"Like, does anyone know you have this?" He asked.

"No and I'd like to keep it that way." I said, closing the washing machine.

"I mean, it could benefit a lot of people!" Ezekiel insisted.

"You know what caused the great war six hundred years ago?" I asked him, heading back to my work station.

"No." He said.

"People fought and fought, growing tired of killing each other. So they built cyborgs and androids to do the job for them. Like fools they made these androids think they were alive but didn't bother treating them as such. As a result, said androids eventually turned on the humans, ending the war. People and their machines caused this war. I'm not risking it again..." I said, finding my hollowatch. I deactivated the printer, it shrinking down to coffee table sized cube.

"So you rather see people struggle?" He asked. I guess he thought he could warrant a different reaction out of me,

"Yes..." I said, opening the vault and taking out my most recent project, "I would more than be happy to see people struggle than to see people completely wipe themselves out. To be honest, there is a lot going on that you just don't understand, nor do you want to be apart of."

"What do you mean?" He asked, deeply intrigued.

"I'll tell you this much. There is a new war... Some people want this technology out so humanity can pick up where it left off. Some people want this technology to be forgotten so humanity can start over. Then you have a faction which disagrees with both, one that believes that the technology that is necessary for humans to thrive should be reintroduced but the technology that caused the war should be kept away. Of course all three factions have their fundamental flaws but..." I sighed, losing all desire to continue explaining.

"How do you know all of this?" Ezekiel responded, amazed.

"It's complicated." I said, connecting the tiny hollowatch up to my mainframe.

"If you had to choose a faction, who would you side with, the ones who want to return technology to humanity?" Ezekiel asked.

"Hell no!" I quickly refuted.

"What, why?" Ezekiel asked surprised.

"Because, a lot of the technology in consideration is wartech. Wartech far exceeded any other forms of innovation and it truly would not benefit the majority of people left on this planet. I'm all for making life easier for humans though, but in some places of the world, these war machines are still active and are terrorizing the locals there. I just think it's stupid to say do away with technology all together just as much as it is stupid to put weapons of mass destruction into the hands of corn farmers and expect them to grow maze with it..." I explained.

"So harboring information that can help people, is your game huh?" Ezekiel asked, sounding very unpleased.

"No, but it is your family's game," I said, no long wanting to entertain him, "Excuse me, I have a lot of work to do to night, for your family in particular so don't question me about the way I do things... when I have no choice but to do things a certain way. It keeps a roof over your head, right?"

"Bro, I didn't mean it that way!" He quickly said in his defense.

"No, it's fine! Just know that I have my own plans and I don't plan on staying here forever. I will be leaving very, very soon." I said.

"Wait, what about me! You said you help me!" Ezekiel said back.

"I will..if you want it of course." I said, steadily typing in complex programs.

"Of course I want it! When do you plan on leaving?" He asked.

"Um, when the time is right. We'll all know." I smiled.

"Hell, I don't know where I'll be between now and then," Ezekiel said thrown into deep thought, "I just want to say I'm sorry." It truly caught me off guard. I stopped, turning to him.

"Sorry for what?" I asked.

"I mean, I never got the chance to know you as well as I should have... We were pretty much strangers under the same roof." He said.

"Well you got all night." I teased.

"Really?" He said with a devilish smile.

It was then I realized he was misinterpreting my every word. He got up off of his bed, slowly walking over to me. His boyish smile grew as he slowly wrapped his arms around me. He came in, bringing his lips closer to mine. Our lips locked, a jitter spreading throughout my body. It began to envelop me, trying to make me get lost in it's scrambling waves. I wanted to get lost, I truly did but I couldn't.

I withdrew from the kiss, it being my first.

"I didn't mean it that way!" I clarified.

"Just you and me! Lets run off together so we won't ever have to be apart. Lets never have to say goodbye!" Ezekiel said, full of passion.

"No." I said, without hesitation. His advances felt very sudden, too sudden perhaps.

"No?" He asked, surprised by the swiftness of my refusal. He stepped away, beyond disenchanted. It made my insides swarm with regret and the want to plead for his understanding was overwhelming.

"Zeek, you have to understand that we, as a thing, could never..."

"Save it." He interrupted, heading back to his bedding.

"Zeek..." I pleaded, but got no response.

It was just me and my keyboard, writing long algorithms. However, it was no easy feat with so much swarming around my head. What if I would have let my feelings got to best of me tonight? Would I have let Zeek simply take my virginity? After all, just moments ago I had my first kiss! Hell, since when was Zeek gay, or into men or whatever? Did this moment even mean a thing or was it something darker at play here? Was this all just some dark plan? Was this a way to manipulate me into getting something he wanted? Was this simply away for him to get under my skin, for him to always be in my head, a way for him to for a dependency on me so he'd be better off? Would he, for my sake, let himself be cured of his dependency? Even if we did run away, would his family just let us escape like this without hunting us both down and hauling us back here? What would Beth have to say about all of this?

Never before has anyone done this to me! It was, after all, my very first kiss, a very magical experience in my small cybernetic world. I sat there feeling wrapped around his finger, my internal value measures counting a shift in endorphins, endorphins related to pleasure arousal. Of course my stupid body would make such an experience an experiment... It didn't stop there. It brought archival data of all the treacherous behavior Zeek was known for in the past forward to my frontal processing. It correlated my sudden feelings coupled with the turn of events into...entrapment. It alerted me of imminent danger.

Danger... A feeling I never before felt, fueled by fear and excited by the mind. I didn't quite know what to make of it so I did what any sensible hardworker would do. I pushed through it. I worked and worked and worked, eventually being shaken awake by Heaven, Zion and Mr. Angelo. I looked down at my watch, it being Seven forty two in the morning. My gaze then fell upon Heaven, who backed away from the heat of my gaze.

I wiped my face, sighing wishing for another hour of sleep.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't clock you now, boy." Mr. Angelo said sternly. I looked at him intently.

"Is this because of Heaven?" I asked.

"You know damn well it's about Heaven, and my little girl! How long have you two been seeing each other?" He prodded.

"Me and Beth? Why can't people believe we're just friends and friends alone?" I sighed. It was then I was seized by Mr. Angelo, hoisted out of my chair hanging by the grip of his knuckles.

"I should beat you down!" He snarled.

"And if you do that, you can kiss this all goodbye. I promise you, you hit me, I'll leave and it'll be shit you can do about it! And not only that," I said pointing to a glass case with a red latch inside, "But I'll hit that fail safe and destroy every creation I've ever built... Each one will go up in flames, destroying everything in their vicinity. You better hope no children are standing by, no family is cooking.... You don't want that on your hands do you?"

Enraged, Angelo threw me down to the floor.

"You little shit. I bet you've been waiting for a while to drop this on me ain't ya?" He asked.

"You've pushed me to it," I responded banally, getting to my feet, "And as for your son. I told him explicitly not to touch my stuff due to the fragility of many of my prototypes, the prototypes I make for your marketing sham I might add, but he wouldn't listen. So, I gently threw a four pound wrench at his head... as HARD as I could! Oh and not only that, but he also tried to threaten me again after I advised him to leave so I politely tossed a torque wrench at him but unfortunately, it missed as he saw it coming and was able to dodge it."

"Look, I ain't here to make no issues, I'm just here to tell ya to respect my family because..."

"May I interrupt and say you were trying to cause issues? If not, why wake me up and confront me as though there was not an issue to be addressed? I also want to add that I respect everyone here, but I can't say you all do the same for me. Since I am the sole reason you all have revenue, a monopoly, an empire, I'd expect a little more respect but....tisk, I get none." I interjected.

"You stay on my property, use my electricity and my water! You're the one that should show more gratitude... You're the one with something to lose." He threatened as I walked past him heading towards my wardrobe.

"Let me ask you something." I began, looking for an outfit to where, "Am I the one dependent upon a twenty year old who builds appliances for an entire city? Do I have to hire a personal army to keep corporate spies away from seeing my secret? Did I lie to a child for ten years to make that child do my dirty work and continue to cover my trail which is increasingly becoming wider and harder to hide? I think not! And If I recall, my father was the one who ran power lines from the dam to A99. He's the one who built this place... not you! He's the one that ran dozens of miles of piping from up the river so you can live an easy life while everyone else in the valley suffers! He's the reason you can say you have as big a claim as you do! He made life easy for you and now that he's dead, this is what you do? All I have to ask you is... what work do you have planned for me to day?" I was dressed by the time I finished my rambling.

The entire family was left standing there, all jaws hanging from shock. There was a long pause, the silence seeming to resonate as if it had it's own rumbling pitch. I waited for Angelo to make his comeback. It was chewing at me to hear it.

"So you're ready?" Angelo asked, as though the entire discussion never happened.

"I just need to clean up the shop a bit and freshen up. It shouldn't take me more than ten minutes." I sighed, putting my clothes in the tumble dryer.

"Heaven, Zion, watch him to make sure he doesn't try anything funny." Angelo said, leaving the workshop. I couldn't help but sigh.

I rushed over to my workstation and put all my sensitive valuables in the vault, all except my hollowatch, my control center for everything I created. I put it on my wrist and looked over to the heavy duty filing cabinets and sighed. I then looked over to Zeek who was still sleeping, nearly hidden from sight in his corner of the shack.

Swiftly, I walked over to the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my teeth, dampened my hair and put a little jojoba oil on it. Now I was ready to go. Upon exiting the bathroom, I could see Heaven suddenly stop toying with one of my prototypes that was hanging from the platform above his head. He obviously had a very strong interest in electronics.