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Click hereShe cried out, "Oh, don.. don't stop... right there." She lost control over her body as the powerful explosion took place and spread out to her whole body.
Sandy gently kissed and licked her lover's labia to extend the explosion, her head held tightly as Jezebel's body twitched and convulsed against the tip of her tongue. Her head held in place by her demon's thighs.
When the shaking stopped she crawled up beside Jezebel and spooned her, thankful for her new lover and best friend. She held Jezebel and played with her hair until she fell asleep.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 9 years agoif you like dicks that much, one of the main charactors is a shapeshifter maybe she'll spout a cock and fuck the shit out of her partner
mBrowover 10 years agoI don't want to be too critical in public, and my response is somewhat long, so I will respond in Feedback.
Magicwrtrover 10 years agoAuthorThe title says it all. But seriously, I am not seeing first person, can you give me an example? Yes I am switching back and forth between Jezebel's and Sandy's views, and that can be jarring I suppose, but its all third person. Outside dialogue I couldn't find any I's or We's, so what am I missing?
Anyway, thanks for the feedback, I get the other stuff you are saying.
mBrowover 10 years agoThis is quite the hot series, very imaginative and erotic. However the switches between first and third person are confusing, and some word choices are wrong, sometimes as homophones. Many sentences are run-on, while sentence fragments also abound. An editor would make these chapters much more enjoyable, but the editing would be intense.
drmrbluover 10 years agoGood story line. All of the chapters have been enjoyable, and unexpected. Please continue with this tale as your time permits. Thanks
