Jimmy Palin You Asshole

Jimmy: Normally I would say a heap of horseshit Paula but you made my boss tell me to answer truthfully. I'd think some of the points made are valid as in the vehicle selling industry like anywhere including the IRS and members of the Chamber of Commerce there are jerks in business. (Jimmy and Paula could see Jerry's face turning purple.)

Paula: You are saying not all car salespersons are slime balls?

Jimmy: Absolutely correct. You see Paula like in all selling; if the product is good enough sells itself.

Paula: You're putting me on.

Jimmy: Am I? Well look at this black beauty I was dusting when you came along and interrupted me. What are your first thoughts?

Paula: Oh I don't know, I guess I want it.

Jimmy: Exactly and that's a pretty positive comment for a woman. It's just like your reaction when you see a blond guy, tall with broad shoulders and a chiseled jaw and you see the shape of his abs through his t-shirt. You think 'I want it'.

Paula (blushing): Something like that. I have to be careful what I say because my husband Marco will be watching this clip tonight.

"Cut," yelled Jimmy and the director yelled who called cut and Jimmy said he did.

He opened the passenger door of the black Lexus and told the film crew to film Paula getting into the vehicle. When everything was set he crouched down level with the driver's open window and called, "Roll."

Jimmy: Right Paula climb in here. Don't worry if you show too much leg because that's what sexy cars do. God with legs like that little wonder Marco married you. Now you're inside and feeling safe with all that power at your finger tips what are your thoughts?

Paula: Oh Jimmy – this is the car for me. It surrounds me with ambience.

Jimmy: I haven't a clue what you're talking about darling but shout the word Classical. There is a Luxury radio/CD package installed in this vehicle, voice activated.

Paula: Classical! Oh god, one of my favorite pieces of music. The sound is incredible.

Jimmy: Buckle up and start the engine Paula.

Paula: Oh it's the sound of a car wanting to take me somewhere exotic. Does this car have a name?

Jimmy: No that's your prerogative. You name your car Paula.

Paula: I call you Black Beauty.

Jimmy: Paula, the truth now – was any of this exchange between you and me rehearsed or even suggested?

Paula: Absolutely not. How much do I have to pay to make Black Beauty mine Jimmy?

Jimmy: See how the car has sold itself? The dealer price is $88,500 for this top model but we can talk discount but not when filming or within hearing of other people Paula. What do you drive at present?

Paula: A Cadillac.

Jimmy: If it's in quality condition we can talk good money on that Paula.

Paula: We must wrap this clip right now and I need to call my husband about funding. I can't believe you didn't attempt to sell me this car.

Jimmy: Oh I did Paula but I only told you what you wanted to hear from me.

Jimmy yelled, "Fade out and Cut."

Jimmy, Terry and Paula and her crew gathered around the monitor to watch the clip.

"God, there's not much editing required," said Felicity the director. "It's so natural and so smooth. You were great Paula, you too Jimmy."

"Thanks guys," Jimmy said. "Boss the crew would appreciate some beers, wine and perhaps whisky while they are packing up. Champagne for Felicity and Paula."

After they TV crew left Terry said, "I've taken a big risk. I haven't asked for your audacious comment about the Chamber of Commerce be edited out."

"Why not?"

"Because like you I think it gave your comment credibility."

"You are very bright for a boss," Jimmy grinned. "I was aware you are a past board member and not on any committees at present so the chamber could do nothing more than send you a blast by letter. But at the end of this year Gold Star Motors will be named dealership of the decade."

"You sound sure of yourself."

"Well Jerry, thanks for some twit suggesting to TV they interview me we will have people lining up, especially women, to buy a car from me after tonight's screening. I'd like a top quality car from the pre-owned yard for my fiancé. What kind of deal can you do for me?"

"Let me think about that Jimmy."

Jimmy was at lunch with his phone switched off when Veronica called so she called the office and was put through to Jerry.

"Oh hi Mr King. It's Veronica Street. I was attempting to contact Jimmy. Sorry your receptionist put me through to you without me requesting that."

"That's okay Veronica and congratulations on your engagement. We have replied accepting the invitation to your party. I take calls when Jimmy has his phone off for lunch because some people wanting him are influential clients of ours. Is there a message?

"You might be able to answer – did the TV film crew get what they wanted?"

"Yeah, a great clip I believe. So Jimmy told you he was the star?"

"No but I knew he'd do well. He's that kind of person. I work at the TV station and heard my boss, the executive director of production, talking about the need to interview an honest new car salesman with character so I suggested they talk to Jimmy and send Paula Ryan as the interviewer because I thought she would interface with Jimmy the best. I'm glad it went well. Thanks for that assurance Mr King."

"My pleasure. Oh Veronica, in future call me Terry will you."

"Sure Terry. My pleasure."

Terry called Frank Bates to his office.

"Is that Matador Blue Mica AWD IS250 you were working on this morning all ready to be the prime demonstrator?"

"Yes boss."

"See that piece of junk parked in Jimmy's spot."

"Yeah, only a young woman would drive a heap like that."

"Well Frank get the used-yard to put a price on it, saying it's for a close friend of mine, and write their buy-in price in the space on this written quote I am giving Miss Veronica Street on this IS250."

"Gee boss, that's below bottom wholesale even without the trade-in price."

"I know Terry, I'm the boss. This lady is responsible for that TV new clip you'll see tonight. The strength of that clip is going to lead quite a few women in here to buy cars from our super salesman Jimmy Palin."

"What Jimmy Palin you asshole, as your daughter called him?"

"Yes Frank. My daughter has committed a huge error of judgment she'll never live down."

THE END