Jocularity at the Office

As I looked around the office, I noticed that everyone else had called it a day, with the exception of Dan Metallo, the Political Consultant for Rat Sass Online and my personal HTML critic and repairman. Knowing that he holds a personal distaste for attorneys, I figured I'd cheer him up a tad before he went home.

"Hey Danny," I began, yelling across the room. "A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. '$50.00 for three questions,' replied the lawyer.

'Isn't that awfully steep?' asked the man.

'Yes,' the lawyer replied, 'and what was your third question?'

"That was pretty good, huh?"

"Well, it was pretty good when I first heard it -- about three years ago," Dan muttered under his breath.

"Okay," I continued, undeterred, "You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?"

"Shoot the lawyer. Twice," Dan answered quickly.

"Heard that one before too, huh?" I mumbled. "So, Dan, who'd you vote for?" I queried, trying to steer clear of the lawyer joke miasma. Well, no sooner had I launched my innocent obligatory conversational opening than did our resident angry (relatively) young man go ballistic. His eyes bulged and his face reddened as he snapped his scowling visage to face me.

"Are you insinuating that there is something humorous about my political views?" he growled, menacingly. Really. Menacingly.

"Why, of course not!" I slowly replied, recalling his views on gun control and eyeing the exits.

"Well," he said, turning a mistrusting eye to me and covering the documents on his desk with his hands, "Okay."

Suddenly, he rose to his feet and assumed a posture often used by dead politicians posing for paintings and statues, his chest out, one hand poised at his midriff, the other behind his back. A look of stern contemplation and wise beneficence crossed his visage.

"I voted my conscience, DC. I voted for the party of principle. I voted for the party that will herd the monolithic state back to into its Constitutionally-allowed boundaries, that will boot the nanny state from our bedrooms, that will bar the regulators from our boardrooms!" he roared majestically. I noticed that he had keyed the office intercom.

"I voted for Harry Browne and the Libertarians because I knew it was right thing to do!", he proclaimed, as if he were passing me the Eleventh Commandment. "Who," he asked softly," did you vote for?"

"Well, I voted for myself. A write-in vote," I said. I proceeded to tell him why. "I reckon that there's no one who met the requirements, as I see 'em, better than me," I said. I didn’t want to tell him that when I asked him that question, I meant who he had voted for in the Most Likely To Be A Pencil-Necked Geek election in the office(I was in the run-off tally).

I'll probably tell him later...