Juan Gets Mace(d)

He had just moved from L.A. He had literally run into me at the grocery story his first full day in town. He moved after the demise of a long-term relationship for a fresh start. He was 32 and an architect. He designed amusement park rides. He had a thing for Latinos. His body was lean from surfing.

In addition to long blonde hair and hairless body, he had bright blue eyes, a thin nose, and slightly crooked teeth. Like Tom Cruise, his second incisor overlapped his first on the top.

Christian was at my door that night when I got back from the gym. We repeated the evening and night before. After we had sexed each other up, we sat on my patio and smoked pot. The moonlight illuminated Christian's beautiful body. I slid my right foot under his leg.

"This is fun," Christian said.

"It is."

"It can't be more than that. I just got out of a seven year relationship. I can't dive right into another one."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm not really a relationship guy. I'm young. I like to play."

"You can play with me whenever you want. You're beautiful. And, you're a great lay. As good as it gets."

"You're not bad yourself. I love fucking you."

"Prove it," Christian said, pulling me to my feet and leading me to the bedroom. I felt tiny as Christian sat on my cock and rode me. He was all arms and legs.

Christian joined us for brunch the following Sunday. I wanted him to meet Avery and Bruce. I thought he'd be a good addition to the GGs.

After Christian left to go surfing, I brought the boys up to speed.

"Jesus, Juan," Bruce said. "That guy is smoking hot."

"And big," Avery added. "How's his cock?"

"Proportional," I answered.

"Good. I bedded a big guy once, and his dick was tiny. It was like jacking a thumb. I was so disappointed."

"You gonna keep fucking him?" Bruce asked.

"I hope so. The sex is great. He knows how to lay pipe."

*****

Christian was over almost every night. He stayed most nights. He was sexually adventurous, and there was little we didn't do to each other. I wasn't into piss or shit, but I was up for everything else.

I convinced him to stop wearing deodorant. And, to stop washing his hair every day.

I loved the way he smelled. From all his time in the ocean, he had a natural saltiness to him.

He finished inside me only when I rode him. Otherwise, he pulled out and sprayed onto my face, chest, and stomach. The sight of his dick erupting turned him on, and he loved the taste of himself.

After three weeks like that, we seemed to be dating by default. Christian didn't like bars, so we didn't go out. We made dinners together on Friday and Saturday nights. He stayed over all the time. On Sundays, we went to brunch together after sexing Sunday morning away.

The first Sunday in February, Avery raised Mace at brunch. I had not mentioned Mace to Christian, so the brunch lasted longer than most. As we walked back to my apartment, Christian asked me if I was in love with Mace. I admitted I was.

"Well, Puta, have you told him that?"

"Kind of. I told him I love him."

"It's not the same. You love Avery and Bruce. You aren't in love with them."

"I know."

"You should tell him."

"He's in love with someone else."

"I gathered that from brunch. But, that doesn't mean he isn't in love with you, too. You can be in love with more than one person at a time. I found that out. That's why Matt and I are no more. He fell in love with someone else, too. I didn't want to share. So, I left. Matt moved right in with Lan. So, I left L.A. I just couldn't bear it."

When we got to my building, I asked Christian if he wanted to come up. With our history, he understood I was asking him to bed.

"Nah. I think you should think a little bit." He pulled my head into his chest and kissed the top of it. "Call me later. I'd like to know what you're thinking."

I couldn't sleep, so I called Bruce.

"Christian's definitely into you. Didn't you see how agitated he became by the talk of Mace? He can claim he's not ready for a relationship, but I think all you'd have to do is say the word, and he'd jump right in."

"There's no room."

"Not until you shit or get off the pot with Mace, there isn't."

"You should write poetry."

"I know."

Chapter Nine

I bought a red shirt for Bruce's annual "Lonely Hearts" Valentine's Day Party. No couples were allowed. Only singles.

Christian towered over everyone. He wore red pants, a white shirt, and a red bow tie. He looked like the Good Humor man.

I was surprised when Timmy showed up. I was standing next to Avery when he walked in, and I said "uh oh."

Avery responded, "Fret not, little flower. He's here for Bruce, not you."

"Really?"

"Yep. After that brunch you dragged him to, Bruce ran into him at the bar and took him in. They're kind of dating. They're sweet together, if Bruce is ever sweet with anyone."

"I thought no couples were allowed."

"It's Bruce's party. He gets to do what he wants. Besides, Christian's here."

"We're not a couple."

"If you're sleeping with someone exclusively and spending all your time with that someone . . . ."

"We're no longer sleeping together . . . ." I caught myself mid-sentence as Mace walked in. I had not seen him for over a month. He noticed me almost as soon as I noticed him. He cocked his right eyebrow, smiled, and gave me a little wave. I raised my hand back.

"Things . . . just . . . got . . . interesting," Avery intoned.

Just as I was about to make my way toward Mace, Christian settled next to me on the sill, put his arm around my shoulder, and stroked my scruff with the back of his finger.

"You look kind of like the devil, Juan. All dark smoldering sex in that red shirt."

"You look like you should be peddling ice cream," Avery said, beating me to it.

"Virtue on the outside. Vice on the inside," Christian responded. "I'm wearing a red thong, Juan. If nothing better comes along, I'll show it to you later."

Something better came along. Mace was in front of me. Neither of us said a word. I stood up, wrapped my arms around him, and buried my face in his hair. He held me as tight as I held him.

I whispered "I've missed you" in his ear.

He whispered "I've missed you, too" back.

"Hey Avery," Mace said, grabbing his hand once he let me go.

"Welcome back, Mace," Avery said, pulling him into a hug. "We've missed you."

"I've missed you guys."

"So," Christian interjected, standing up. "You're Mace. I've heard tons about you. It's good finally to meet you. I'm Christian."

"Me, too," Mace joked. "Actually, lapsed Catholic."

We all groaned. Mace had gone for the cheap laugh and missed.

"Christian," Avery suggested. "I think we should let these two boys catch up. Buy me a drink."

"They're free."

"Then, I'm the cheapest date you're ever going to have."

When they were gone, Mace and I just stared at each other. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to ask any questions, because I didn't know if I could handle the answers.

I sat back down on the sill. Mace sat next to me. He put his head on my shoulder, and I put my head on his. He took my left hand in his right, wrapping his fingers in mine. I covered the back of his hand with my other one, and he put his free hand over mine. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. The revelry continued around us, but the room went silent for me.

I don't know how long we sat like that. Timmy popped our bubble with the flash from his camera.

"Do you want to get out of here?" I asked.

"Desperately."

We didn't say good-bye to anyone. I led Mace to the street. We held hands and walked. We didn't talk.

Inadvertently, we wound up in front of my building. We held hands and stared at each other.

"I hate when you're gone," I said.

"I know."

"Don't go away again."

"I won't."

I kissed him softly on the lips. "Do you want to come upstairs?" I asked.

"Yes. But, I can't. Not yet."

He kissed me softly on the lips and headed down the street. I fell asleep thinking about "not yet."

*****

My telephone started ringing at zero dark thirty. No one wanted to wait for brunch to talk.

Avery got me first. We spent twenty minutes speculating about the meaning of "not yet." We spent the the last five discussing Avery's disclosure that he had laid Christian. Apparently, Christian convinced him that he and I were not sleeping together any more, and Avery pounced.

"Dude's a great lay," Avery said.

"He is."

"I hope you don't mind."

"It wouldn't matter if I did."

"You're right."

"I don't."

Bruce got me second. We also spent twenty minutes speculating about the meaning of "not yet." We spent the next five discussing Timmy. We finished with me telling him to "be good to that kid." He promised he would.

Christian got me third. He didn't want to spend a lot of time on "not yet."

"It's not ambiguous," he said. "It means what it means."

"I'm not so sure."

"You should be. And, he's lucky. You're a catch, Juan."

"Thank you."

"I want to tell you something.'

"You don't have to. I already talked to Avery."

"Not about that. About you."

"What?"

"Hold on tight. Don't let go. Enjoy the peaks. Be strong in the valleys."

"Thanks, Christian."

*****

Mace was at the gym Monday night when I got there. I assumed we would hang out after, like we had before the interregnum. But, Mace told me he couldn't.

"You want to do something this weekend?"

"I can't. I'm going to St. Louis for Freddie's wedding."

I knew John would be going, too. And, I started seriously doubting our speculation about "not yet." All evidence suggested we were wrong. John was still there, Mace was going to see him, and Mace was not available to me. I pouted and went home.

I didn't want to be alone. I thought about calling Christian, but I wanted sex without any suggestion of more. So, I called Avery.

"Come on over," he said. When I got to Avery's apartment, Christian was there. Any sense of wonder as to what was up was resolved when Christian and Avery started kissing and stripping and headed toward Avery's king sized bed. We were going to have a three-way.

As hands and lips and tongues covered my body, I lost control of my senses. My tongue was in Avery's mouth and my cock was in Christian's. Then, Avery's tongue was in Christian's mouth and his cock was in mine. Then, Christian's tongue was in my mouth and his cock was in Avery's.

Avery penetrated me first. I was on my back, and Avery was over me. Christian was behind Avery, penetrating him while he penetrated me.

We changed positions. We were all in the bed, facing the same direction. I penetrated Christian while Avery penetrated me.

Christian was afraid to take Avery. Malabar intimidated him. We coached him through it, and I penetrated Avery while he penetrated Christian.

It was a round robin, and it just kept going and getting better. We came in and all over each other. It was by far the best sexual experience I had ever had. When we were finished, Avery pulled the comforter over us, and we slept, covered in each other's cum and wrapped in each other's arms.

While Avery made breakfast the next morning, Christian fucked me in the shower. He was so tall, I had to hang from his neck and take him with my back pressed to the tile. It was awkward and uncomfortable.

While I cleaned up after breakfast, Avery fucked Christian in the bed. I got hard listening to Christian gasp as Avery pounded Malabar in and out of him, so I moved to the door and jacked Pipi while I watched Malabar appear and disappear. I came when he did, filling my hand.

Chapter Ten

The sex had distracted me from Mace. When I returned home, my plight overwhelmed me again. I tried to study, but I thought only of Mace. I decided to call him.

"Can I talk you before you go to St. Louis?"

"Sure. Want to grab a drink after the gym?"

"Very much."

"Okay. It's a date."

After we worked out, we settled into a booth. Neither of us had showered, and the smell of man was strong and intoxicating.

I got right to the point. "Did your time away provide any clarity?"

"Not really."

"Either way?"

"Nope."

"But, you're back?"

"Yep. I see no reason to torture myself. I missed you guys . . . especially you." He put his hand over mine.

"I want a life with you, Mace."

"I know."

"A long one. With a house and a cat and a dog and maybe a kid or two." I raised his hand to my face and kissed the back of it. "I know you want all of those things, too. And, I know you're never going to have them with John. You can have them all with me. I would marry you right now."

Mace and I stared at each other as I let my words settle over him. I had made my case. Neither of us spoke.

Mace finally pulled his hand from mine. "I should get going."

"Have a great trip."

"I'll see you when I get back."

"Not if I see you first," I joked, trying to break the tension. It didn't work.

*****

I was sullen and surly the whole weekend. Avery suggested another three-way to improve my mood. I turned him down.

Bruce brought Timmy to brunch. They were officially dating.

Avery brought Christian. They, too, were officially dating.

I was the fifth wheel. The camper or trailer, being pulled around.

I didn't hear any of the conversation. I left halfway through, bored and distracted. I went to Black's Beach and waded in the water. I took a nap in the sand.

I went home, opened a bottle of wine, and took a long bath. I dozed off.

I was startled awake by the doorbell. I had no idea how long I had been asleep, but the water had gone cold.

I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the door. I was stunned to find Mace through the peep-hole. I knew he was on the direct afternoon flight from St. Louis. He must have come straight from the airport.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Mace stalked past me. As soon as the door closed behind me, he pinned me to it, pressing his mouth hard to mine. I opened my mouth, and Mace kissed me as deeply as I have ever been kissed.

He stepped back, tugged his shirt over his head, and pinned me back to the door with another long, deep kiss. As he kissed me, he pulled the towel away, and grabbed my cock.

"I want you to make love to me," he whispered hungrily in my ear. "I want to know what it feels like to have you inside me."

He didn't have to ask twice. I grabbed his belt, undid it, and pulled it off. I unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped them, and pulled them down. While I was before him, I put my mouth on his cock through his briefs. It was a monster, and I couldn't wait to taste it. I pulled his briefs down and took as much of him as I could in my mouth. He purred as I did.

I couldn't help myself. I sucked him hard. When he tried to get me to stop, I refused. I kept at him until I felt his knees buckle and his balls clench.

"Oh, God, Juan, I'm going to come," he panted. I let him, taking his load in my mouth and throat. I swallowed all of him. I was in heaven.

I made love to him slowly on the bed. I devoured him first. I licked every inch of his body. I rimmed him until he begged me to penetrate him.

I was raised on my arms as I moved in and out of him. We never broke eye contact. My smile was as wide as it had ever been. I couldn't believe what we were doing. I was inside of Mace. His legs were wrapped around me. It wasn't a dream. It was real.

I came as hard as I ever had. I was soaked with sweat. I was dripping on Mace, who also was sweating.

I collapsed onto him. His arms joined his legs around me. I was lost in joy.

"I love you, Mace."

"I love you, too, Juan."

I rolled off of him and onto my back. He rolled onto his side, raised up on his right arm, and started playing with my chest and stomach hair.

"I love this mat."

"I do, too. I'd hate to be hairless."

He kissed me long and hard on the mouth. I put my hand in his hair and pulled his mouth to mine as hard as I could. I didn't want the kiss to end, but it did.

"So," I broached. "What happened in St. Louis?"

"Well . . . . After we had drinks, I knew what I needed to do. I wanted to cancel the trip. I would have, but it was Freddie's wedding. I couldn't miss Freddie's wedding. I ached as I flew east. I wanted to be here with you, getting this started. Once I saw John, I started having doubts. It's hard to let go of your first love. I thought a lot about what you had said to me. I asked him if he would marry me if he could. He didn't say yes, which meant no. I knew then and there where I belonged. And, my doubts were resolved. I knew I had made the right decision."

"What if he had said yes?"

"My doubts would've lingered. But, I'd have resolved them. I thought about and missed you all weekend. I told Freddie about you. I couldn't wait to get back to you. I'm where I belong."

"Did you tell John about me?"

"No."

"Can we make love again?"

"Yes."

We did. Slowly and gently. It was traumatic for me. I had never combined raw emotion and pure pleasure like that. I was crying when I came inside Mace for the second time, laying flat against his chest with his legs wrapped around me. We were both crying when he came inside me, laying flat against my back, his hands in my hands, his face in my hair, and his feet flat against my feet.

Mace fell asleep, and I tiptoed out of the room, pulling the door shut behind me. I called Bruce first and whispered the news to him. He asked me if I wanted him to call Avery and Christian, and I said no. I didn't want them to think they were second fiddle.

I heard Avery relay the news to Christian. "Juan won. So Mace lost."

"You're an asshole."

"That's why you love me, Puta."

*****

Mace moved his stuff in the next morning. We tried to sublet his apartment, but we couldn't. So, we used it for storage.

I asked Mace if he was nervous about going from one serious relationship to another. He matter of factly said "no." We never discussed it again.

We didn't really discuss John, either. I knew they continued to talk, which was fine with me. If he could bear the presence in my life of guys I had fucked - Avery and Christian, among many - then I could bear telephone visits to the man I had bested in the race for Mace's heart.

Avery asked if I worried that I had won by default. I assured him I had not, that Mace had chosen me before any choice was made for him.

I didn't care if I had won by default. I cared only that I had won, that Mace was beside me, and that Mace is beside me as I write this. I am looking at the picture Timmy too at Bruce's party as I write. It's our favorite picture.

Epilogue

My mother was right. Once I landed Mace, I forsook all others. He became everything to me.

Our life together has been great. We got our house, our cat, our dog, and our kids, Andres and Camilo, brothers from Colombia. We still hunger for each other sexually. We still talk without talking.

We still have Bruce. Timmy's gone. He didn't last long. Fortunately, he didn't take Bruce with him.

We still have Avery and Christian. They like to crow that they've been together longer than we have. They also laugh at our old-fashioned relationship. Theirs is open and very busy. Their front door should have a turnstile.

I met John at his wedding to Susan. He had asked Mace to stand up for him, but Mace refused. He said he couldn't witness a lie. He could attend, but he couldn't stand up.

I saw what Mace had seen in John. He was charismatic and handsome. I was smitten with him before I knew it.

I also saw that John was still in love with Mace. You could see it in his eyes, in the way he looked at him, in the way he brightened when he talked to or touched him.

I didn't see the same thing when Mace looked at him. I saw it when he looked at me.

Mace and I got married last year, 20 years to the day from the first time we made love. Our sons stood up for us. Avery, Bruce, and Christian all made it. So did John, now thrice divorced and still struggling against everything he's afraid to be.