Justin's Secret Ch. 06

The following Monday after he went out with Jason, Justin tried to make himself as presentable as possible for obvious reasons. He'd even gone as far as getting up forty minutes earlier without an alarm -- his excitement that he was going to see Jason woke him up as if he was a child on Christmas morning.

The pair had been texting almost nonstop the whole weekend. Justin was almost getting sick of his message tone, but every time it went off he couldn't stop himself from smiling. Brent had been constantly teasing him about it, and Justin loved every second of it.

'Need to see you soon. Got some juicy gossip... xx' He texted Becca with a smile on his face.

"Smiling on a Monday?" Brent gasped, faking surprise. "You must have Psychology."

Justin rolled his eyes as he worked in his foundation. "Oh hush. And yes, I do." He met Brent's eyes in the mirror, smiling at him.

"Has he text you this morning?"

Justin shook his head. "He did last night though."

"I know. You need to put your phone on silent." Brent decided, stripping himself from his towel.

"Hah. I was thinking the same." Justin answered. He usually only put on a bit of foundation, but as he looked through his makeup bag, he was pondering about eye makeup. "Should I put on some eyeliner? Or is that too much?"

Brent pulled up his boxers and wondered over to where Justin was sat. "What's that?" He asked naively. Justin held up the pencil. "You'll look all emo." Brent decided before going back to get dressed.

"I was going for cute but alright." Justin sighed. He dropped the eyeliner and decided to go for a bit of blush instead. 'No one's ever gone wrong with rosy cheeks' he thought, applying the least amount that was still visible. He studied his face for any blemishes before it was time to leave -- he still found it strange he was excited for class, but it was only because of who he sat next to.

He was surprised he was able to leave the room to get to class without Brent now too, but that's exactly what he did. He knew it was because of the big change in his confidence ever since Jason had shown an interest in him, and that excited him. But despite his confidence, Justin felt really shy when he saw Jason already sitting in his seat for class. They hadn't talked in person since Saturday, and he wasn't sure how to act around him in public. For all he knew, Jason may have wanted to keep it a secret.

Jason smiled upon seeing him, so he took that as a good sign.

"Hi." Justin said shyly, taking his seat and pulling the things he needed for class out.

"I was thinking..." Jason started. He sounded nothing like Justin, his confidence dominating his voice as usual. Justin found it hot. "If you're not busy, wanna go out again this weekend?" Jason asked. He seemed very casual about it, but he was hoping for a yes.

"Oh, definitely." Justin was blushing already. "Are we like... you know, dating then?" He didn't want to sound forward, but he needed to ask.

He could tell Jason was smirking without even looking at him. "Well, it'll be the second time I'm taking you out this weekend. That's dating, right?"

"Right." Justin almost swooned. He was dating Jason Anderson.

"Why are you being so shy?" Jason chuckled. "You were anything but on Saturday..." He said more sensually, obviously referring to the blow job.

Justin only blushed harder at that, but he was still smiling. "Oh yeah, when did you put the money in my pocket, hm?" He put on a stern voice.

"I told you I'd pay for the dinner."

Justin giggled. "You're sweet."

***

By the time two Saturday's passed, they had been on two more dates. On both occasions Jason took Justin to the same diner, where they ate and talked all night. On the ride home, it was now apparently a custom for Justin to feel Jason up until they pulled over so he could blow him. They both absolutely loved it, and each time Justin pretended to not notice Jason had sneaked the amount Justin had paid for dinner into his pocket.

It was all very sweet, but on the third Saturday, their third date, Jason apparently wanted a little more.

After the 'tradition' of pulling over and Justin giving a blow job and pretending not to notice Jason paying for the dinner, Jason did what Justin had been dreading, and why he was so very quick to blow him to avoid this very situation.

He started to lean in, but Justin lightly pushed him away, blushing harder than he'd ever done.

"I, uh, no, I'll taste nasty." Justin excused, sitting back in his seat.

"Don't worry, I think it's hot." Jason stated, gently pulling Justin back to him, but he resisted. "What's wrong?" He asked, sounding confused, finding it appropriate to tuck himself away into his pants now that Justin apparently wasn't interested.

"It's not you." Justin stated almost desperately. "I just..." He sighed.

There was a long silence before Jason replied. "Right. I get it." He mumbled. Justin's eyes darted to him. Jason was looking straight forward as he started the car up, his facial expression showing he was annoyed. He probably shouldn't have started with the typical 'it's not you, it's me' line.

"It's not that! I uh--" Justin cut himself off.

Jason looked at him with raised eyebrows, waiting for the excuse, but when it never came, he went back to looking at the road.

Justin sighed, slouching back into his seat, feeling the tears pinch his eyes. He knew Jason was mad because he'd taken him out three times and paid for his meals to only be rejected, but he couldn't tell him the real reason. 'He probably thinks I'm such a whore' Justin thought. 'I'll blow him but I won't kiss him. What's wrong with me?'.

It was a very long, silent trip back to the college. Justin fidgeted uncomfortably the whole way back, not knowing how to fix it. He was devastated that the evening had gone so well, only to be ruined by another stupid secret of his -- he was that upset he was thinking about telling Jason the reason behind the rejection. He squirmed with humiliation at the mere thought of the secret, let alone actually telling someone.

When they parked up, Jason was about to get out of the car without a word, but Justin spoke up.

"I haven't had my first kiss yet." He finally blurted out, not being able to hold it back.

Jason looked back at him with furrowed eyebrows, and Justin thought he was mad at him for a moment, until he cracked an unsure smile.

"Really?" He asked in an almost teasing tone.

Justin sighed. 'No going back now' he thought. "Really."

"You should've said." Jason looked as guilty as he felt. "Shit, I'm sorry, I thought you were just rejecting me..."

Justin shook his head. "It's fine. Really. I just... it's embarrassing."

"Come here." Jason said gently with a smirk.

"No, I--"

"Come here." He said in a more demanding yet teasing tone. Justin sighed and moved closer to Jason, where the larger male cupped his face and pulled him close. A simple peck was placed on Justin's lips, but it was enough to make him go weak. This was the further than Justin had ever been, kissing-wise of course.

Jason gave Justin enough time to smile small before he moved in again and kissed him properly -- this time Justin copied and kissed back, feeling more than overwhelmed. It was only slow, small pecks that they were sharing, but Justin was over the moon with the progress he was making. He would have never done something like this a month ago with Jason.

"That's it." Jason mumbled as they pulled back.

"That's it?"

"Yep, that's it."

"Oh." Justin smiled. "I was expecting something more difficult."

Jason smiled in return. "Using tongue is easy as well, I promise." He laughed, letting his hand fall onto Justin's thigh out of affection.

"That sounds gross." Justin giggled along, feeling giddy inside.

"What, you'll suck my dick but tongues are gross?" Jason chuckled, feeling as happy as Justin.

"Shut up!" Justin scolded jokingly, curious of his new skill and pulling Jason back down by his shirt to kiss him again.

They kissed a little more outside Jason's dorm before their date was really over. Justin grinned all the way back to his dorm that was just a little further along the corridor, thinking about how well the past month had gone for him. He never would have guessed Jason Anderson would take a second glance at him, but now they were dating. He felt like it was all a dream, and hopefully he wouldn't wake up soon.

"Guess who just had their first kiss?" Justin boasted with a blush as he shut the door behind him. He wriggled out of his winter coat and hung it up, turning to Brent with a grin.

***

'Wanna grab some lunch?xxx' Jason text. It was the following Thursday after Justin's first kiss, and he thought it was cute that Jason was thinking about him.

'Yeah, that sounds nice' Justin replied as he exited his English class. 'meet me out front?Xxx'

'Sure xxx'

Justin walked to the front doors of the college, frowning all the way despite seeing Jason soon. He was in a pretty bad mood because he'd woken this morning with his boxers stained red at the crotch, and the cramping in his stomach all the way through his first two classes was torture. He didn't really want to see Jason because he felt uncomfortable and moody in this state, but he said yes anyway. He really had wanted to head back to the dorm to moan about the cramps that were a result of his unwanted (but still existing no matter how hard he wished it away) womanhood, but eventually he found it too difficult to say no. He really did love spending time with Jason, even if he felt as if he was dying.

A hand on his cheek turning his face in another direction interrupted his mental complaints. He was startled at first, but when the familiar lips of the boy he was dating pressed against his own, he relaxed and his mood lifted immediately. It was the first time they'd kissed since Saturday, obviously being in class the other times they saw each other.

"We're in college." Justin blushed. He was smiling, his fist crumpled in Jason's shirt. He was completely smitten with him.

"Don't care." Jason snickered, ignoring all the staring as he wrapped his arm around Justin's waist.

He lead them out to his car, not really sure where they were going yet, just hoping to see a small cafe along the way or something.

"Your turn." Justin said randomly, interrupting the comfortable silence with a smile, his hand resting lightly on Jason's thigh as he drove. He was trying so hard not to double over in pain, but his happiness of being with Jason counteracted that.

"Oh, God, that." Jason laughed at the remembrance of their game they played on their first date. After some thought, he said: "Anything in particular you wanna hear? I'm stuck."

Justin thought back to one of Jason's confessions from their first date. "Why have you been with more guys than girls?" He asked curiously, remembering he'd stated that but he had been too shy to ask why at the time. The fact that it might have something to do with their genitalia was playing on his mind since.

Jason shrugged. "I dunno... guys are less annoying, I suppose. They're just more chill, and they don't whine when you don't call them back because they're satisfied with a one night stand." He laughed. "As crude as that sounds... it's just girls are so high maintenance, you know?"

Justin nodded, feeling a little self-conscious. "Yeah."

"I don't mean to sound rude but..." He laughed. "I prefer pussy over ass, though the end result with a chick just isn't worth it most of the time. If only guy's had was girl's do." He shrugged with a chuckle, hoping Justin hadn't found his words too crude. He was used to swearing a lot as his mother never minded it, but he didn't want his little date to think bad of him so he tried to tone it down.

Jason's somewhat explicit words almost made Justin faint though. A guy with a pussy -- he hated the word, he hated everything about it, especially what it was doing to him in that moment, but that's what Jason said would be ideal. Justin was over the moon, and he wondered if he literally meant it. If only he did. Justin suddenly felt a lot more confident with himself, and also confident in telling his date about what he'd been hiding. His worst fear would be to frighten him away or anger him by it, but this gave him hope.

Justin almost grinned. "I get what you mean about the guy thing. Becca is always fitting at me for the silliest things where Brent is just..." He paused. "A guy. It's better that way."

"My brother's like that, you know." Jason stated casually, pulling up next to a small restaurant.

Justin's eyes almost bulged out of his head at the comment. "What?" He asked, sounding almost desperate for the answer. Justin knew if he had been sipping a drink he would have sprayed it all over the dashboard at his words.

Jason was almost startled by his shocked tone. "You're not against that shit are you?" He sounded almost offended himself as he cut the cars engine. He couldn't help his language this time.

"Oh, God, no!" Justin quickly redeemed himself. "No -- not that at all. It just... what?" He was in disbelief.

Jason looked confused, and Justin thought he looked absolutely adorable. "My brother. He was born a sister, basically." He let himself laugh warily, wondering why his date was acting so strange about it. He almost felt disappointed, thinking that Justin was very open minded and would've accepted it rather than react as he had.

Jason then thought back to everything strangely feminine he'd seen Justin do, but shook those thoughts out of his mind. He was being very stupid, he reasoned.

"Oh." Justin choked, not even realizing Jason was getting out of the vehicle. He unbuckled his seat belt and tried very hard to not act like he was in any discomfort or even shock as he got out of the car. He tried to walk at his normal pace to avoid Jason suspecting anything, but he knew the larger male had realized that something was wrong by the time they sat themselves down. Justin had let out an accidental moan as he sat, some of the discomfort lifting. He always got really bad cramps at his time of the month, and the information Jason had just revealed didn't help a whole lot.

Jason spied over at him, his attention drifting from the menu. "Something wrong?" He asked, looking at Justin's hands at his belly. He'd noticed Justin had been sub-consciously clutching at his stomach when he'd first walked over to him at the college, but he brushed it off, thinking it was nothing. He was starting to wonder if something really was putting his twink in discomfort.

"No--" A waiter thankfully interrupted him, making him sigh in relief. They both ordered the same drinks as usual, Jason a coke and Justin some sort of juice. Today he chose cranberry, and made sure to ask for a straw as usual. Each time it made Jason laugh and look at him with adoration, resulting in Justin smiling shyly and blushing. He was glad Jason didn't treat him like a child even if sometimes he did act like one.

The topic thankfully changed for Justin after the interruption. He loved that every so often Jason would lean down to kiss him somewhere, including his willing lips. It made Justin feel sexy and wanted despite being in his uncomfortable state, like Jason couldn't get enough. He couldn't wait when Jason would offer his tongue for the first time, it made him excited with wonder every time he leaned down.

Somewhere in between their flowing conversation and just after their meals came, Justin quickly excused himself to the bathroom, praying that Jason wouldn't come too. Thankfully he didn't, and he hoped it didn't look weird to Jason that he was taking his school bag with him.

Justin was relieved that the bathroom was empty and was able to do what he needed with only the stress of just being quick. He knew you shouldn't, but obviously having nowhere else to put the used towel, he resulted in flushing it.

He was grateful (and sort of mortified) that the college was so supportive of his situation and he had a bin especially for it in his dorm bathroom. Plus the whole thing with letting him have Brent as his roommate really was a huge relief. It was nice to have someone understand, he didn't really get that often.

He then thought back to what Jason had said about his brother. He really needed to talk to Brent as soon as possible -- half of him wanted to tell Jason, but he really was frightened of his reaction. He was almost glad that his brother was in the same situation so he knew he couldn't really discriminate.

"Belly ache?" Jason asked as Justin sat. He'd ordered lasagne, and lifted a forkful of the steaming goodness to his lips.

"Uh, yeah." Justin almost started to sweat, moving his hands away from his stomach. "Must be something I ate."

Jason suddenly looked very concerned. "Oh, do you feel alright?"

"Not sick." Justin reassured. "Just sore."

"Have you done sit ups recently or anything like that you don't usually?" Jason asked, thoroughly enjoying the food he'd ordered. He saw Justin's confusion. "That'd create an ache because you're not used to exercising the now growing muscles there."

"Oh -- yeah, I have." Justin lied quietly. "Must be that."

Jason smiled. "At least you're not sick. Do you want to go back?"

"No, no, it's fine, really." Justin smiled up at him. He loved how considerate Jason was. "Um..." He almost blushed as the larger male looked down at him. "I... about your brother?" He mumbled.

"Yeah..." Jason asked slowly, preparing for some sort of insult.

"I don't know." Justin blushed that time. He felt silly. "Tell me about it?"

"His, like, experience?"

Justin nodded, not daring to look up at Jason. He didn't want to give anything away.

Jason let out the breath he was holding, happy Justin didn't seem to mind it. He started thinking of all of the suspected reasons why he wouldn't mind it but shook them out of his head.

"Well, when I was born he was my five year old sister." He started to explain, searching Justin's face for any kind of disgust. "He'd always been interested in my other brother's stuff. His clothes, his toys, anything, and because it was only a years difference it all fit." He almost smiled when he saw Justin was genuinely intrigued, not grossed out. "As a girl, he always dressed in boys clothes. Some people would mistake him as a boy at that time. At sixteen he... came out, I guess... told everyone he was really a boy inside."

"Wow..." Justin pretended to be shocked by pretty much his own experience. "Did your parents mind?"

"No... they thought he was just a lesbian, so I guess they suspected it." Jason shrugged. "They were supportive, luckily. He then went on testosterone pills and got the surgery when he was twenty one."

Justin raised his eyebrows, almost in awe. Jason seemed proud of his brother for accomplishing something so difficult, there was not a hint of negativity in his tone.

"Wow... so he's completely, well, a guy?"

Jason nodded, lifting another forkful of delicious food to his mouth. "Yeah. He still takes the pills, but there's nothing about him that's female. You can't really tell."

"Did you not find it like..." Justin's breath became shallow as he fidgeted, his palms getting clammy. "Weird?"

Jason shook his head, picking up on all of Justin's nervous actions. "No. I grew up with it. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"What? Yeah. Fine." Justin lied. He wasn't sure how he felt. He loved that Jason wasn't against anything to do with trans people, but he didn't know if that meant he would date one. He felt sick with the conflict and confusion. He hated lying to him too, so that added to the mix. Brent's strict words 'you need to tell him soon' echoed through his mind -- he'd lectured him on it when he spilled about his first kiss. Brent thought it was too far into the relationship, especially with the kissing now to keep it any longer.