Karen's New Hope

Brian and I had been divorced for ages and that made me happy, for a while, until the loneliness swept in. Holidays nagged the most. And yes, I was nervous over the reckless choices I'd taken lately, but I still hoped for a new chance at real love.

Sure, I'd slept with a few guys, but I hadn't found anything satisfying. The sex was okay – well sometimes. Men, at least the kind I'd found so far, they either wanted a quick blow job or a fast lay. It scared me shitless most of the time. I wondered, did they lie being married? Were they crazy? Would I catch something?

Still, lonely was worse.

I'd spent the evening at the party thinking too hard and avoiding a few ass grabbing drunks, when I saw him under the 'Happy Holidays' sign.

He turned at that moment. I ate up those lost puppy-dog eyes and realized how well I knew them - a nice thrill from the past. I motioned across the room. I shouted, "Keith", but he didn't hear over the band's music.

I kept watching. He carried his drink like a shield in front of him. A blonde with a low cut blouse smiled, obviously interested, tried to engage him in a word as he passed, but he cut quickly away to the safety of an isolated corner.

I walked across the room and when I got there, he glanced at me with terror. He didn't recognize me. I said, "Keith? Keith Hamilton?" I could see the wheels turning. I helped him, "It's Karen – Whitaker."

The sparkle of fireworks in his eyes excited me. He said, "Jesus! Karen? How are you? You look great – I mean it – just great."

"It's been quite a while." I said.

"Brian?" He asked the obvious question.

"Divorced and good riddance. I'm footloose and fancy-free. How's Susie?"

His eyes reddened. "Car accident," he mumbled, "four months ago."

"Oh no, not Sue." I gasped.

Keith only nodded. It had to still hurt.

"You want a drink?" He asked.

"No, but I'm dying for a cigarette." I said.

"Me, too." He took my arm and escorted me to the exit so suddenly that I left my coat at the check desk.

Outside, the wind had picked up; the temperature chilly. Cold slipped through the sheer blouse but Keith didn't notice my goose flesh shivers. He just looked deep into my eyes, deep enough to see into my soul. He lit my cigarette. I puffed it until he finally noticed my shaking.

"I'm an idiot" He said. "Here, take my jacket." He put it over my shoulders and tugged it tight.

I joked, "Most guys try to look down my blouse, but you just cover me up."

He stood, glazed over, like his soul was numb.

"C'mon, tell me how you're feeling."

"Nothing, I - feel - nothing."

I said, "Listen, dummy, this is Karen. Y'know, the girl who sat up all night with you in Fort Lauderdale ten years ago? Remember that motel room? God, no A/C and there we were, the four of us stark naked it was so hot. We went down for a senior moment in the sun, but Brian had been in a fight that day – damn steroids – and Susie was drunk on tequila margaritas, all passed out."

"Yeah, I remember." He smiled. "I remember how cute and sexy you were."

"Damn it, you know, it was all I could do to keep from jumping your bones, but you were so devoted to Susie, so all I could do was talk to you"

"You were interested in me? I never dreamed that I stood a chance." He said, "So, Brian...?"

"The steroids finally killed it, we'd both stopped trying; just too much history. Back when he took the steroids regularly, he was always in a rage, but the sports took most of it. Ironically, the hitting didn't start until after we got married and he got hurt and lost his chance to go pro. You know, I haven't opened up like this in a long time."

"I didn't know all that happened." He said.

I shrugged it off. I said, "Tell me - about Susie."

"Like you said, it was margaritas on the town and vodka at home. She got pissed every time I brought it up. I thought when Hunter – that's our boy – got older; she'd slow down, but - the cops told me she registered 0.17 when she crashed the Mercedes into that tree. Uh, Karen, she was, was, she was - decapitated."

I moved in close to him, placed a hand on his face where his tears streaked down. He leaned right into me and hugged me.

After a moment I said, "It's cold, we should go."

He looked at me and said, "You're still so pretty."

The silent pause after that was electric. I got that little twinge in my stomach that always led to complications. His lips got close to mine, almost touching, close, so close, and then, just like that, he whipped away colder than the night.

"Yeah, I guess we should go in now. It's been nice to see you again."

"Damn, you." I raged. "How dare you dismiss me."

I grabbed his arm and dug my nails in deep. The shock on his face matched my voice when I shouted, "Tell me why you're afraid? If she's dead, that's too bad, but you wouldn't be here if you weren't looking for something or somebody."

"I – I – she's dead and I couldn't stop it. I feel so guilty."

"Hell, Keith, how could it be different? She drank herself to death; we could all see it coming even back then."

"Karen, you don't get it. I'm glad. Our life was a living Hell. I wanted a divorce, but her mother - everyday, it was a phone call from the bitch who told her, 'Susan, if I can take all the whores my husband fucks, you can put up with a limp dick like Keith.'"

He cradled his head in his hand, unable to fight off the ghosts.

I shook his arm, "Look! Brian and Susie aren't here but we are, the two of us, y'know?"

A light suddenly lit inside him. He swept me up in a move so fast; it sucked all my breath away. His lips pressed hard on mine. God, I wanted him; had all those years ago, but his kiss was horrible, slobbery, awkward, no chemistry. Tommy Lancaster in eighth grade had been better – even with braces.

He knew it too, probably it reflected in my eyes. He let go and turned away - all the air had went out of him like a deflated balloon.

"I – I'm sorry, Karen." His head hung so low, it tugged at my heart. "Let me get you some coffee; get you warm." He said. He held the door open for me.

I thought, well honey you've had lots of godawful dates, one night stands, bad fucks, but look, here is a hell of a nice guy in front of you. A bad kiss probably means a bad fuck, and sure - he's pretty messed up - but a deep down good guy like Keith is hard to find.

"No, I don't want to go inside." I said. "Coffee is free at my house and my little girl Briana is down with Brian for the holidays. Come home with me, Keith."

"For coffee?" He mumbled.

"Or more, if you want, Baby."

*** He walked up the driveway as I opened the front door.

Inside, I led him to my bedroom. I looked into his scared eyes. I hooked my arms about his neck to encourage and he followed my lead to my lips. There was still a taste of nicotine on his teeth when I kissed him. His lips were warm, soft, but at first noncommittal. I pressed deeper and got more of a response. He kissed back and then I could feel his erection against my thigh. He got nervous over it and pulled back from me, but I pushed into his hard-on so he knew that I wanted him. I did want him.

"Oh, Karen."

"I like it when you say my name, darling. I like how you feel, taste." I said.

"It's was so long ago." He said. "I haven't done this for some time, it might be..."

"I'm here and I'm not going away, Baby. Have me - anyway you want, quick, long, hard, however. This is your night."

I reached down and ran my nail over the ridge of his head through his jeans. Next, I eased open his fly, reached inside and let him free, out of his boxers. I rubbed him with my thumb.

The question of STD still hung so I had to whisper, "Keith, do you have anything?"

"Karen, oh no, I left all my condoms at home."

I chuckled at his misunderstanding, but his pained look told me he thought that I was laughing at him. I jumped to clarify. "I have condoms but you don't need them, I have the pill. I mean do you have AIDS or anything? I'm sorry, I have to ask."

"Oh. No. I don't have anything." He sighed.

I stoked his flagged enthusiasm and breathed into his ear. "I wasn't laughing at you; I care about you; I want you. Let me show you."

I guided him to sit on the edge of the bed and lowered to my knees. My tongue, my mouth eased over him with slow slick moves. He sucked air hard with each tongue swirl and when I closed my mouth and took him in, he let out a deep moan.

I felt his heart beat in his cock and then his balls twitched. His breathing went heavy.

I stopped, looked up. He stared down at me, eyes wide. "Keith, if you want to come, it's okay, but I really wanted you to fuck me. Is that what you want?"

Like a snapped rubber band he fairly threw the rest of his clothes off. He barely waited for me to undress - my old college friend, and a fantasy come true after all these years. I thought, you lost him, Susie, but now I have him.

His kisses over my breasts were rough, his hands more shook than caressed. He stopped and gasped for a condom. I took one from the night stand, and as he watched with grim face, glided it over him.

"Sex is fun, Honey. Loosen up, let it be natural." I leaned into his ear and said, "How did you want me, tell me."

He barely breathed out, "No particular, uh, usually I, uh, from behind?"

I rolled to my knees and he plunged in fast knocking the breath out of me. He banged hard - a fast piston. In only a few moments, he shouted, "Oh, Jesus, I'm coming." And he was done.

He withdrew - actually yanked it out.

Old friend be damned, I turned to give him a piece of my mind. When I did, his red-face streaked with tears, his condom hung like a rubber pendulum filled with a glob of cream.

"Jesus, Keith! Damn you and your issues. I don't know; don't care about you and Susie, or what went on with you two, but you're too damn nice a guy to fuck so bad."

"I should leave", he said.

"No way in Hell. We're going to talk."

He slipped to the bathroom, but I followed. I'd sworn to myself that I would never, ever be like Brian – especially after all the years Brian hit me – but I slapped him. My anger welled up and my tears spilled over. "Damn you, you bastard!"

He turned and instead of the rage I expected, he reached out for me and held me. He half pulled me off the floor, and began to kiss my neck, my cheeks, licked my tears away. He placed his soft lips on mine and kissed me hard. It was deep, soulful, loose and hot. His hands went low and cupped my ass. I arched my shoulders back and he kissed me over each breast, pulled in tenderly each nipple, and at last got on his knees to kiss my navel.

He muttered, "She never shaved – not even her legs. You're so smooth. She was always so - drunk. You're so alive."

He knelt before me, and snuggled his head against my sex, his hands resting against my stomach.

"She was unconscious - our sex - more like rape than anything. Most of the time I just turned her over – from the rear - got it over as fast as I could. Sometimes I wanted to do her in the ass - but I figured God would put me in Hell for it. I'm so sorry, Karen."

Purged, he killed the demons just like that. He glanced up at me, face wet with tears, and softly nuzzled between my legs. His tongue, eager, sent a spasm of joy through me. I heard my self start to pant and moan.

"Karen, oh Karen," he called out in between snatches of breath. "I wanted you - so badly back then - but I want - you more - now. Will you - come for me?"

The next few touches sent me over the edge; weak, I held his shoulders for support. He stood up, lifted me in his arms and he carried me from the bathroom to the bed.

He turned playful and said, "How about if I just lick you all night, huh?"

I giggled.

He started again and pulled pulses of heat through me. His hands moved up and over, first at my neck, and then touching over my face and back to my breasts. Between gasps and after my orgasm, I caught my breath and gazed at him. "My, that was - much better."

"Well, I did learn a few things over the years." He smiled "Ready to go again? Or should I go home?"

"Don't you even think about leaving. I think we can take a nice shower together and then, we'll try being together again."

"I think next time I'll be much more interesting for you." He said.

He didn't lie.

Sunday, the next morning, stirred with a few songbirds chirping outside. Under the blanket, both of us nude, my gritty sleep slid to wakefulness as I felt him spoon me. His erection nestled against me, a hot hardness that felt so good. His warm hands moved across the middle of my back, moved back upward and shifted my hair aside. He kissed my neck, nibbled my ears, and he breathed hot into my ear. He left a warm ticklish feel that surged in my tummy.

"Um, Baby." I said.

"Good morning" he said back.

"So far," I replied and wiggled my ass over his cock.

He ducked under the covers and began by kissing my stomach, flicking his tongue in and out of my belly button. A finger slid to my clit, teased it a moment and then tested my liquid opening with a finger.

I sighed, "Oh. Keith, that's so, so, so -."

"I want to feel you tighten."

He moved his fingers in and out energetically, face intense with effort to please me.

More, more, hotter, I breathed hard, and waves built. I grabbed at the back of his hair., and then I reached out, found his hard-on. My tension ached for release. Somehow – I don't know how – he positioned his mouth over mine and kissed me deep. I cherished his weight and warmth upon me; his fingers demanding my release until it was enough to crest. His kisses muffled my groans, pulled the breath from me until I finally gasped for air.

"Oh, Honey, Keith, that was great." A few more breaths and I wanted him.

My tongue savored his flavor, taking in the overnight salty, sticky taste, that musk-male odor that sent me. I licked, circled my tongue and then took his length in deep, enjoying his thickness. Just under his balls I felt a throb. I gave him a mischievous grin and led between my breasts. He thrust between their cleavage; groans came from his throat.

The pent-up demand spurted hot over me. He looked on, with that wonderful smile, watched while I took my long nails, ran it through the thick semen, and rubbed a little on each of my nipples. I placed the tip of my finger on my tongue tasting the spicy bite of his cum.

"I think I'll just wear you the rest of the day. Would you like that, Baby?"

"I love you, Karen, I think I always did." He said. Then he moved to me and kissed me into the rest of my life.