Laura's Choice Ch. 02

Dear readers, With this chapter I continue to explore a woman's struggle and acceptance of submission and loss of identity. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. Constructive comments would be helpful as I'm in some unfamiliar territory in the Noncon/reluctance category.

If you are new to the story please read Laura's Choice chapter one for the context.

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I am a twenty four year old woman who has just promised her full submission to a man whom she neither loves nor who does not love her. I have always considered myself independent and strong willed yet I am about to accept my subservience to this man. What he demands is simple: complete submission to his every command, to show him respect at all times and full submission sexually. While simple to say, this decision will affect my life in ways I could not fully anticipate. Before this decision, my goal in life was to escape from him. Now I am giving him everything. In reality, I am acknowledging that I am his slave.

There is only one question remaining that I can't suppress. Is this forever? I don't know that I can accept forever. For now I will bury the question and the answer.

He already had my body, in every way he wanted. Now I was giving him my free will. The reward for me is the potential for a life beyond the confines of the few rooms of his house that I am allowed to move in. In my rationalizing I knew that even if I escaped again, as I had for three years, I could never shake the fear that he would find me. Submission, complete and unreserved, was the path I have chosen now to follow.

Xavier walked back into his room, now ready to leave for his workday, or work week, I never really knew for sure how long he would be away. I was still in his bed which was a novelty for me. I had given him everything I had in me sexually the night before and as a sort of reward, I assume, he had let me stay in his bed. I had also told him I was ready to give everything to him, with the implicit promise that my attempts to escape would end. He looked hard at me before speaking.

"Laura I want to talk to you about what you said this morning. You are already my possession and you have no freedom to choose however if you convince me you now accept what you are then I can grant you some of the things you want."

"Xavier, I would welcome the chance to speak of this."

"Okay, We will pick this up tonight. Be good today. You can go outside if you wish. Don't leave the yard and put on sunscreen if it remains sunny. I will let Mrs. Lawrence know that you are allowed to go outside today."

"Thank you Sir. Enjoy your day." I reached up and put my arms around him and kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled at my unusual and spontaneous display of affection. I was more than ever determined to show him how good I could be. Impulsively, I looked him seductively in the eyes and asked, "Would Sir like me to suck his cock before he goes to work?"

His smile broadened but he shook his head. "No time now my pet. See you tonight." With that Xavier turned and left.

Being allowed outside was a treat and reserved for me when my best behavior warranted a reward. I also sensed that he believed that I meant what I had said about complete submission. And in truth I did want to give him everything, not because I had found a place in my heart for him - that would never happen - but because I wanted my life to improve and this path was the only one that appeared to lead anywhere for I knew that if I ever did escape, the fear of being caught by him would sit on my shoulders like a weight I could never rid myself of. That was how I lived for three years, constantly in fear of him finding me, until my recapture. I couldn't contemplate living like that again.

Mrs Lawrence was genuinely pleased that we could sit outside in the cool mountain air for our morning coffee. Her experimenting with different beans was producing delightful results.

Her role and relationship with Xavier was a mystery to me when I first arrived at Tamarak Ranch, shortly after Xavier purchased me from the traffickers. While she had been sensitive and sympathetic in light of my terror, anger and hatred of him, she was clearly completely loyal to Xavier. Even though she was unsettled by my plight she just accepted that her employer had just purchased a girl for sexual purposes. Events in her past that she alluded to but wouldn't discuss in detail, events where Xavier had clearly helped her or even rescued her, were apparently the basis for her loyalty to him. I think she may have even loved him at some level.

She winced at the word slave when I screamed it at her in an early moment of rage, but she just quietly said yes, that was what I was and that was how things were around the compound. Other associates of Xavier's in the Organization who lived at the Ranch owned women as well. Apparently the fact that slavery was alive and well in this corner of the western mountains was no big deal to the residents and help who lived at Tamarak Ranch. I gathered that rumours ran through the community as to what went on in the compound, with women living there who were rarely seen off the property, but no one seemed to want to do anything about it, including the local Sherriff's office. They had raided the Ranch shortly after my recapture and taken Xavier and me in for questioning, but nothing seemed to stick to Xavier or the other men. Yes, they told the cops that the women were free to leave which was laughable. Maybe we could walk out with the police watching but I knew and I'm sure the other women know what would happen if we did. I shuddered at the thought as I'm sure was the case with every other woman held at the Ranch.

The day passed pleasantly. I took a book out and sat in the shade of a large pine tree and enjoyed the beautiful view over to the higher peaks. I was a captive but my cage was set in a beautiful tableau. Often I would put the book aside and wonder just what Xavier would say in the evening.

He arrived home early (I no longer choked on the word home as I did in the beginning and even less so now that I was prepared to admit it was my one and only home). Dinner was quiet as I had been taught to not speak unless asked a question or invited to join the conversation. Almost the hardest thing for me to accept at the beginning, almost even more than the rape of my body, was the requirement to kneel beside him at the table. Mrs Lawrence would often join him at meals and they would chit chat about small things, mainly about the house, while I knelt beside him and ate what he fed me. I firmly believed that he did this so I would never forget that I was his slave and not a real human equal. The added bonus to him was that my body was the way he wanted it, almost thin to the point of waifishness. He liked me very slender and he enjoyed the fact that my breasts were still very prominent on my rib cage despite the limited calories I consumed. He like his sex toy to have the hint of rib showing but still have prominent breasts.

Tonight was no different. He gave no indication as to his thoughts. Towards the end of the meal he told me to go up and wait in his room. I quickly scurried up and stood in the middle of the rug beside his desk. I was eagerly waiting for him to speak. I had changed into jeans and a loose top late in the afternoon as the breeze cooled. Being sent up to his room usually meant that I should prepare by undressing for sex. Tonight I anticipated a conversation so remained fully clothed. After some time standing in his room he strode confidently in. Sitting down in his desk chair he looked me up and down and then said in a quiet voice, "Laura, take off your clothes."

I visibly startled at the request. Even with confusion written on my face I began to comply. Being asked to strip to prepare to be fucked or sent to stand in the corner because of bad behaviour or whatever he had in mind was absolutely normal however tonight I thought we were going to talk, not have sex.

He read plainly what was going on in my head and said, "Laura I am not going to take you now, maybe later, but not now. You will be naked for this conversation because I want your mind fully exposed to what we will discuss and with nothing to hide behind, literally and figuratively, I expect complete honesty from you. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head and at the same time, unconsciously, now that I had removed all my clothes, crossed one leg in front of the other and one hand drifted to cover my sex. Despite his having seen me fully naked countless times, writhing in wanton pleasure in every sexual position imaginable I still felt embarrassed simply standing nude in front of him. He was right though. I couldn't imagine saying anything but the truth while standing fully exposed before him as his eyes drilled into mine. Standing naked in front of a fully clothed man screamed power imbalance. I never felt more powerless than at that moment.

Noticing my attempt to hide myself in such a small way he barked, "Laura, stand straight with your hands at your side and use your words to answer me. For this conversation you will call me Sir."

I snapped to attention placing my hands at my sides and responded swiftly, "Yes Sir, I understand." Never had I ever felt more like his creature, subservient and yielding in every way. Was I really choosing this life as my future?

Nodding, he moved his chair closer and asked, "Tell me again what you said this morning."

I took a deep breath and replied, "Sir, I am ready to give you everything I have to give. I will be yours totally and will never attempt to leave you again."

"And the three rules?"

"I will try my very best to obey them."

"Good. Now say them out loud."

"I will show you respect at all times. I will obey your every command." I hesitated for a split second, pulled my shoulders back and looked him squarely in the eye and said, "And I will please you sexually in every way you demand of me, willingly and with all the ..." and here I hesitated for the right word. I was winging it but I couldn't bring myself to use the "L" word so I quickly completed the sentence with. "emotion I can give."

He continued to stare hard at me for a few seconds and then a smile appeared on his lips. "Very good Pet. I believe you." With that he reached out and ran a finger lightly from my lips slowly down my chin, between my breasts, down my tummy and through my nether lips to my thighs. he then ran both hands softly up and down the outside of my legs. leaning in, he touched his lips to my nipples, lightly kissing each one. My knees began to shake as a shiver passed through my body and lodged between my legs.

Noticing my arousal he pulled back and said, "I know Baby, I want to take you as well but first I want to show you something."

Reaching over he pulled a leather bag over towards his feet. "Laura, do you remember our conversation in the restaurant about slavery in 19nth century America and the repercussions to slaves who were caught running away?"

I was unsure where this was going but a cold shiver ran down my back and my stomach clenched. I nodded and choked out, "Yes Sir."

"And what did I say happened to them?"

"You ... you said they were beaten. Beaten badly."

"How were they beaten?"

I exhaled loudly saying at the same time gasped out, "Whipped, I think"

"Yes." With that he unzipped the bag and pulled out a coiled piece of leather. I recoiled and gasped when I realized what it was as he slowly uncoiled it. A whip. A real whip. Long and incredibly dangerous looking. Xavier had beaten me often in the early days, mostly with his hand but occasionally, when he was really angry, he would remove his belt, lay me down on the bed and strike me with it. The pain was more urgent and intense than a simple spanking and my bum would show bruises for days. He also had a crop that he only used once. I don't think he liked the markings it left on my rear and thighs that took weeks to fade. He liked my skin soft and unblemished so the crop stayed in his desk drawer. Now he was showing me something that made my blood run cold in terror.

I stumbled back and swayed on my feet. My head felt light and one knee buckled. He stood up quickly, sensing my fragility and caught me just in time as I started to faint away. He eased me to the floor and held my head down by my knees and softly spoke by my ear, "Its okay Baby. Just breath deeply and relax. I'm not going to hurt you. We will never have to use that because I believe you. You are all mine forever. I never want to hurt you. Your body is too beautiful to mark."

Pulling me up into his arms I sobbed and gasped, tears running down my face. He was, in his own unsubtle way telling me this was not a game that we were playing. The consequences if I was lying would be horrible if I was caught. He was telling me that once that line was crossed there would be no going back for me. He then said it out loud.

"Baby, you have my trust, that you mean what you say. Breaking that trust is unthinkable, do you understand?" He pulled me up and wiped away the tears from my cheeks and held my gaze. His words were soft but below the surface was the implicit threat and his eyes were dark and penetrating as he held my gaze.

I blinked several times and replied in a shaky voice, "Sir, I am yours." With that I threw my arms around his neck and pulled myself tight to him, kissing and nibbling his ear.

We stayed a long time like that and then he picked me up and carried me over to the bed, laying me down on my back. I sniffled and wiped the mess of tears and runny nose from my face and pulled my hair away over my shoulders and looked up at him, not sure where we were going next. He followed my gaze to the floor where the whip lay. He walked back and placed it in the bag zipping it up. "Baby that's going away. You'll never see it again I believe." I nodded my head and sniffled again.

He came over to the bed and, laying down beside me, caressed my cheeks, arms and lightly under my breasts, all the while just looking softly into my eyes. For all the time I had been with him, all the time he had raped me, fucked me willingly, beat me and lived in the same house with me I really had little idea what he was really all about. The power dynamic between us was so completely uneven that he never felt the need or inclination to talk about his needs, desires, hopes, expectations, thoughts about the future or really thoughts of me beyond what I provided for him sexually.

I tried to read behind his eyes which were soft and imploring but just moments ago promised unspeakable pain if I ran. I tried to see if there was anything beyond appreciation for his 'most valued' possession ' - his words. We were in fact making a bargain, one that I didn't know exactly where it would lead but I was hopeful for an enriched life. The fact that he was in a way contemplating expanding my life beyond the limited existence he allowed me up to this point was a major concession.

Was he seeing me as more than a compliant sex toy, kept for his pleasure or was his acceptance of the implicit bargain just an opportunity to completely own me. Only moving forward into the future would tell me.

As if reading the uncertainty in my eyes he pulled back and said, "Stay still Laura. I'm going to take you now." Removing his clothes he knelt between my legs and gently ran his hands up and down my hips. I believe he sensed my fragile state, how frightened I had been over the whip. His look was soft and imploring. Imploring me to relax and I did begin to uncoil. Slowly, while still holding my gaze, he lowered his head to the top of my thighs and began kissing and licking them, moving from each side, from the inside to my hips and back. In between he breathed slowly and warmly over my open sex before him. Somewhere in this soft teasing I began to relax and prepare myself for the hard and fast fucking that I was sure would follow. I knew my body would follow as despite everything he had done to me I had truly come to tolerate, almost enjoy, the rough sex with him.

Suddenly I squeaked with surprise and pleasure as I felt his tongue settle on my pussy. He ran his tongue lightly up from my vagina, over my clit and to the top of my slit. I sighed with pleasure. On the next pass he started on my perineum and the next he massaged my ass hole with his tongue before moving upwards to lick harder at my clit. Oh god, this was my undoing as my hips jerked off the bed. He had never touched my anus with his tongue before, no one had ever done that and I found the warm moistness of his tongue on the bundle of nerve endings sent shivers of delight through my body. Now I knew why he liked me doing the same thing to him so much. I tucked the thought away for future consideration when I wanted something but now I had transitioned from fear to seething need.

I was his sex toy and usually after a brief session between my legs with his tongue he would move to the main course and fuck me hard. Today was going to be different it seemed and I totally relaxed into the exquisite pleasure of his tongue and fingers on my lady parts. Two fingers had slipped into my cunt and a thumb joined them circling my ass hole, probing lightly at the entrance. His lips and teeth took my clit into a light embrace that had my hips pumping and my head rocking back and forth in delightful agony.

He held me skilfully on the edge for minutes and then took me hard over the edge as I screamed his name. I couldn't believe how fast he had taken me from fear to bliss. My body was totally his and now he had my mind and the surrender was complete.

Moving up on my body he wrapped his arms around me and nibbled softly at my earlobes while my body quivered through the after shocks of the orgasm. After a few minutes I looked quizzically at him. I could see in his eyes lust and need and I had never experienced this restraint on his part. I existed for him to fuck, to satisfy his appetite whenever he wanted and however he wanted and now he seemed to be waiting for me to recover. He saw the question on my face.

"Don't worry my pet. I will fuck you soon. I'm enjoying the heat of your body right now. You look so beautiful when you come. I am so pleased I bought you when I did." There it was, who or what I was but at this point I was too blissed out to really care.

A thought then made me chuckle. Saying he was happy to have purchased me was his way of admitting affection. How twisted that having taken a scared, angry, confused and desperate teenager off of the hands of the criminals for money would be a cause for smug satisfaction. I knew that at the time he wasn't really that interested in owning a slave but the anger and spite I had flashed at him while chained to the floor of those evil bastards had piqued his curiosity and challenged him into taming me. I vowed to make that as difficult as possible and in the early days my black and blue back, ass and thighs were proof of my success at resisting him. And now, here I was looking forward to him fucking me. Again, how twisted, but I was now giving myself to him without reservation

Okay, even if I was being treated like a precious commodity, his slow and smooth strokes in and out of my vagina with his his thick cock were tingling and delightful. It was like what I imagined normal couples did when making love. He held my head in his hands and ran his lips over my face, nipping and licking at my lips and then licking and kissing my jaw, my throat, my neck and shoulders. And I loved it, every gentle dominant treat he gave me. While still thrusting steadily into me he bent his head down to suck my nipples and bite them gently, not the usual mauling he gave my breasts. He loved my tits and thought they were his toys to roughly pull, bite, slap and abuse. Truth be told he had a way of straddling the line between pain and pleasure in the abuse of my body that often got me squealing in painful pleasure. I thought at those times that my body was betraying me by enjoying the brutality of his rough dominance. But I would scream and come in painful pleasure nonetheless.