Legs Wide Open

"So the barter system still exists?"

"Yes but no one talks about it because one doesn't know who's related to a tax inspector. Oh I should alert you to the fact that sometimes trampers or the curious walk through this land. I suggest you try to avoid them but if you do talk don't get overly friendly. There's a public walking track in the land to our right that they should use. I do have notices stating Private Land on my boundaries but some people ignore them."

"Should I ask Jess to scare them off?"

"No do nothing. Ignore them apart from a little wave. Remember Jess is not an attack dog."

"I know. She's lovely. Who were you having sex with before I came along?"

"Jesus," he smiled. "That was an abrupt topic switch. There are three or four teachers at the school who have, er, been kind to me."

"Only three or four?"

"Yeah well I might have been on the light side. Only two are fairly readily available. The others are married."

"Leo McKenzie you naughty boy," Jane frowned.

He laughed and taking her hand said he no longer had reason to implicate them in adultery.

"That's one way of looking at it," Jane laughed.

"Oh actually I told one of those women, Shirley Hall, about you today and you'll meet her because I'm helping her to plant their farm with species of native shrubs in areas to encourage more birdlife. They also buy wool and even sheep from me because her mother and friends weave. Shirley reminded me that the real Jane Austen lived for a time down on the coast at Lyme Regis and its Cobb Harbor was the setting for the filming of Jane Austin's story 'Persuasion'.

"Oooh, fancy that. I know a great deal about Jane, as my mother brought me up on her books from when I was eight or nine and I studied her writing as part of my degree. But I didn't know about that."

"Well when we hike along the Jurassic Coast we'll start from Lyme Regis. Actually we can visit the town on Saturday after tiring of Market Day at Bridport but that town is a real attraction in itself that you might want to spend all day there and dine there that evening."

"God I feel everything is closing in on me and if I'm meant to be here. It's just one thing after another."

"Is that a problem?"

"No."

"I have a stamp and envelope. I can put your proposal letter in the school outward mail tomorrow. You best use the reply address care of me at the school address and explain you are living outside of phone communication."

* * *

On Thursday evening Leo said he'd come home straight after school next afternoon and collect her so that Jane could join in the after school drinks at a nearby pub.

"Only Shirley knows who you are although I don't know if she twigged you are an author. You can be introduced just as Jane Frewin if you wish?"

"I'd like to accompany you and thanks for the invitation. Will other partners be there?"

"Yes some but not all and some will arrive late after they finish work. We may get invited to dine out."

"That would be nice. I'd love to meet people. Don't shorten me name. If anyone recognizes my name, that will be okay.

Driving back to the town next afternoon, Leo said quite excitedly, I mentioned during the lunch break I would be bringing a woman who was staying with me and the only comment was from Carole who said she'd enjoy meeting my mother again. It just left it at that."

"Well I couldn't tart up because I only have basic clothes with me. Sorry about that."

"No it's fine. You'll fit in well wearing boots and that skirt, shirt and jacket. Eighty percent of the women will be dressed exactly like that and so you won't be embarrassed by being over-dressed."

"Well I wish to fit in."

Leon said, "Everyone will be in the snug. It's reserved for us on Fridays from 4:00." =

They entered and conversations died.

And then, "Omigod, it's Jane Austen-Frewin, author of the book 'Legs Wide Open' that I was telling you guys about yesterday after having just finished it. "Hi Jane I'm Kate Kirby. I recognized you from that lovely photo of you on the back of the dustcover. I've also read your 'The Beastliness of Men" and 'The Abduction of Amy Ryan'. It's such an honor to have to here with us."

"Er thanks Kate."

Kate took Jane by the hand and introduced her to everyone individually, about thirty people in all.

When that was over and Leo was handing Kate a wine she whispered, "So your school principal is not here?"

"Yes she's the one who recognized you, Kate Kirby. "She's a poet."

Two hours later Jane had the feeling she'd made two friends, Kate Kirby and the adorable Shirley Hall, who looked about thirty and had dark hair and almost violet eyes and friendliness just flowed from her. And then a Peter Cross began talking to her and said, "I'm head of the English department at our small high school. With a name like yours I gather you'd know a lot about Jane Austen?"

"Yes I grew up on a diet of Jane Austen and of course studied her at high school and university."

"May I invite you to speak to our students who have taken the English literature option who are aged fourteen upwards, to try to increase their interest in their studies of our earlier novelists. The focus of many of them is only on modern writers."

"Oh Peter I'd love to do that but you need to be aware I've never addressed youngsters before."

"But you have addressed adults?"

"Oh yes, book club groups galore."

"Then it's done. I'll arrange it and call you."

Jane said to send the message via Leo because she was living out of phone call range."

"Oh yes, Leo the Hermit," Peter laughed warmly. "That's not an insult, in my opinion Leo is our most popular teacher and the results he achieves are amazing."

A few minutes later Jane saw Peter chatting to his school principal and they both looked her way. A few minutes later Peter arrived back to her side and waited until the conversation Jane was involved in three other people ended.

"Jane this is either good news or bad news for you. Kate wishes you to address the entire school, all 327 students."

"Well that's a surprise but it's okay. If I flop, I'll flop."

Peter smiled and said all she had to do was to speak passionately about what she believed would be useful to pass on."

Peter caught a passing woman by the arm and said, "Jane this is my wife Eileen, she's just arrived."

Eileen looked at Jane and said, "Omigod. I've just bought your new book 'Legs Wide Open' not fifteen minutes ago.

Peter looked alarmed.

"Er that's not a porn book I trust?"

The two women hugged and almost collapsed in laughter. The face of bespectacled Peter was a treat to observe.

It was almost 6:00 when Eileen Cross came up to Jane and Leo and said, "Peter and I would like to invite you two to dinner tonight."

"Lovely, we accept," Leo said and Jane smiled and nodded but was disappointed Shirley Hall had not invited them to join her and her husband. She looked around and said, "Oh has Shirley gone?"

"Yes," said Eileen. "She's my sister-in-law but had to race off because Rex phoned her to say her parents had arrived, unannounced, to stay the night."

"Oh."

"Don't worry," Eileen said. "Shirley really likes you. She asked me to invite you and Leo along with us for dinner at her place Sunday. Can you make it?"

Leo nodded and Jane said could Eileen call Shirley and say they would be delighted to accept the invitation.

On the drive home after a very pleasant evening, Jane said, "I feel I'm being accepted rather than being treated like an outsider."

Leo slapped the wheel and said, "That's because of your magnetism. You breath charm and you have well-developed interpersonal relationship skills. You listen, you are free with compliments, you react intelligently and your smile warms your face to project that good-feeling and you don't attempt to overpower the conversation to take control."

"Leo this is me you are talking about. Have you been drinking?"

"Of course I have but I have observed you and have come to my conclusions. Also Jess likes you and I don't mean just likes you, she really likes you."

"Omigod Leo, let me drive."

"No I'm fine. I've controlled my intake of booze. Well I might be a couple over."

"Well I enjoy talking to people and learning things from what they say. Not all people speak tritely, especially if you listen to them long enough."

"Yes that's exactly what I was saying."

"But you..."

"I meant as an analytical appraisal."

"God I must get you home to bed."

The Land Rover accelerated.

"Leo for fuck sake slow down!"

"Sorry, I thought you were in a rush to get your legs wide open."

Jane couldn't help herself. She screamed in laughter. Well she was aware she'd also knew she'd had a couple of drinks too many.

* * *

Leo and Jane had a wonderful time at Bridport next day. They strolled through the regular street market and they went to the farmer's market and after lunch and touring around Jane thought she'd buy a car

"Can you afford to buy a car?" Leo worried. "You don't work and have only written three novels."

"It's fine. My maternal grandparents left me very well endowed."

She purchased a Blue Honda Jazz. It was eleven months old. The vehicle was ready to drive-away and so that's what Jane did, following Leo to the restaurant of his choice. They were early so were able to get a table.

"God I would have mucked around for days before committing to a vehicle," he said to Jane admiringly.

"Yes well I don't know anything about the mechanics of vehicles so I bought today like I buy a dress. I liked the style, the color and when sitting in it the fit was good. And so..."

"You bought it," Leo sighed, "without even taking a test drive."

"One of my girlfriends has one and I've driven her home in it a couple of time when she'd had too much to drink and found it good to drive. The vehicle is under warranty still so what did I have to fear? It's usually only with new cars that things go wrong soon after purchase."

Leo thought about people he knew who'd brought new and pre-used vehicles and knew he couldn't reject Jane's logic.

Leo followed Jane home and it went without a hitch. He told her to park in the shed and he'd clear away things next evening to make room for both vehicles. He unloaded the items he'd purchased for the shower and said he'd work on that at the weekend.

* * *

Jane drove to the school early afternoon for the address to the school. She'd decided she'd tell the students it was not for her to say they had to learn to love any particular novelists, whether or not they were English, or British or from anywhere in the world. It was important, however, to be able to respect good writers for their contribution to literature. She would then go on to explain how her mother had been raised to adore Jane Austen and as a result partly named her daughter after her favorite author and her mother had raised Jane to love the writing of Jane Austen because she portrayed life around her vividly as life was in her day and she also portrayed how women were breaking out of some of the straightjackets of tradition, etcetera, etcetera and she'd then explain she'd moved on from Jane Austen and now her favorite writers were writers of her times and she'd explain why and the value of appreciating literature as one of the arts in the fabric of life.

God she would have to be careful with her choice of words and work in expressions and humorous modifiers so that she didn't talk over the heads of some of the students.

Leo came out to meet her and handed her an envelope printed with the name and logo of her publisher.

She tore open the envelope and glanced at Leo who was watching nervously.

"I'm confident," she said.

He sniffed and scratched his forehead and said he wished he could say the same.

She pulled out a letter and another piece of paper.

"Oh look at this," she said. "An advance payment for £9,000 for my new novel, set in in West Dorset."

Leo moved in close and took her hand and as they walked to the school assembly hall he squeezed her hand and said, "I'd not be good living without you Jane Austin-Frewin."

THE END