Let's Make a Deal Pt. 19- Epilogue 03

When he was all done, he went and hugged Martha, and then Sheila. "Thank you, thank you for your friendship and support for Martha," he told her. "Without that, I don't think I'd have a wife. I wish you lived nearby. She's been making lots of new, good friends, but you are still probably her best friend except, maybe, Lynda."

She looked at him a little strangely. "Most men want their wives' old flames as far away as possible. I think, especially if the old flames are women."

"Some old flames, or some wives, I'd feel that way myself. When Martha asked me about inviting you to the wedding and reception, she was afraid I'd feel that way. I told her then that I trust her completely in this, and that from what she'd told me about you I was ready to trust you as fully." He grinned. "I asked her whether she wasn't really afraid I'd see you as a challenge and try to seduce you. I'm sure you understand, as she did, that I was teasing her. I'm thankful for Martha to have such a good friend—and for myself as well."

After reading the letters, Scott knew that Martha had written a lot to Sheila during her affair with Helen. Indeed, from her letters he now knew much more about Helen and her effect on Martha than he would ever have wanted to know—except that knowing it might help him avoid hurting Martha as time went on.

Sheila left while Martha was still recovering from the stress of childbirth and having care of a newborn, but except for fatigue nearly back to normal. Scott was sorry to see her go. She had been such a help, but he also saw how much she meant to Martha. And he liked and admired her himself.

The Bruces had the Davidsons over to dinner a few weeks later. As they sat around talking afterward, Brian looked at Lynda and then said, "There's something I wanted to bring up. When you told me about Lynda's past, I understood how it had happened, but there was a lot I didn't put together at the time. I need to say thank you. I didn't really understand how much I owe to both of you. You told me about hurts from Lynda's past, but being married has really showed me how much of that there is.

"We've talked a lot about things, and I know there's still a lot I don't know. But Martha, you not only gave Lynda a home when she needed it, and what Scott said about getting her graduated from high school and then getting her a job with you—" looking at Scott "—but it was more than just a place to live. You gave her structure and discipline that she wasn't getting. I knew that you didn't charge her room and board until she could afford it, but she's been telling me how you had her start carrying her share of the load, cooking and housekeeping mostly. You gave her respect and affection that she hadn't been feeling at home, and certainly not when she was parking with one friend after another a few weeks at a time. Though I gather some of them tried to be as good for her as they could.

"And Scott, we've tried to avoid gossip, comparisons, things like that, but we've had to talk about that time, too. One thing that came through loud and clear is that from the beginning you treated her with respect and affection, too. I knew that she had become a believer through talking with you, and it was no surprise that she puts a lot of that to your example, at least as much as what you said. And what you said when we talked, about things triggering painful memories and her needing comforting and reassurance right away, well, I was still kind of slow to learn, but if you hadn't said that I might never have figured it out. She says you always took her seriously. Um. She also says that you objected every time she said it to you, but that you were always, without fail, a gentleman. Knowing you, I'm pretty sure I believe her, not you. So not only do I owe you for her being available to marry me in general terms, it's clear that if somehow we had met and gotten married in the end it would have been a pretty rocky relationship, if you hadn't taken care of her. So thank you."

Martha put in, "Brian, I think Lynda never really understood why he objected to that term, but it was completely obvious to me. The problem is that Scott's pretty picky about words—I am too, I guess that's a good thing. And he would never use the word 'gentleman' about someone who was having sex with someone outside marriage, much less two of them and his employees to boot. I don't think Lynda picked up on it, but all that time he would refer to us as 'you girls,' but later on it was 'you ladies.' Ladies don't go to their bosses and offer them sex, or have that kind of relationship with men they're not married to, the way he uses words. Anyway, she meant the consideration he gave us—and believe me, he did!—but whenever she said that it just made him more aware that he was doing wrong and not being a gentleman." She glanced at Scott. "There are a few ways he was a gentleman that he won't admit to, but her choice of words was the main problem."

Scott said, "That's all true, I guess. But beyond that, what you were talking about is partly right. When we first started, Lynda was full of conflicting feelings, and a lot of them went back to her boyfriend and her parents. She would say that she understood and accepted something—and she would mean that—and then a little later she would be all upset about it. Her feelings didn't keep up with what she knew. And in a way that changed because of me, OK. But I can't take much credit. She told you about it, and it really was the way she said. She came to awareness that she was wrong, and to repentance for it, all at once and all by herself. I did try to treat her gently and consistently, of course, and no doubt that helped her straighten out all the tangles over time, but we all know that kind of thing is the work of the Spirit in someone's life. She could so easily have resented me and everything we were doing all the more for forcing her to recognize that she'd done something wrong.

"But anyway, you're right that she got straightened out a lot, and I was a big part of the occasion for it. She's got guts and a strong sense of right and wrong, and she's perfect for you. And you're what she needs, much more than I could ever have been."

Martha put in, "Part of it was that Lynda really needed to be loved and know it. And I don't mean romance or sex, really, but in this case that was how it came. I tried to give her, well, parental love, and it helped. But partly she needed a man to love her. So much of her hurt and bitterness involved men, Ron and what he did to her, then boys who seemed to her, maybe not always fairly, to be just wanting to use her, but more than that her father. She hadn't felt loved, cared for, by him in a long time, if ever, and then after the rape, when she most needed love and protection, all she got was condemnation. Really, it might have been better if somehow she and Scott could have gotten to know each other without sex and eventually romance being involved, but as it happened, with the prospect of sex facing her, her expectations that he must have a hidden agenda to exploit her led to a crisis where she had to confront real, unselfish love. It took a little longer to all fall into place, but in spite of the enjoyment Scott got from it she couldn't miss that he was putting her first." She gave Scott a brief hug.

Brian said to Scott, "She did what you told her, too, about telling me where that 'discuss, don't dictate' thing came from. And I have to say it wasn't surprising, it's just like both of you. She also felt she had to tell me about another little rant, that she was the one who let slip that she loved you. She didn't tell me what all led up to that, and I don't need to know, but she thought you didn't make clear enough that once she starts going it can come pouring out without enough thought, and that was her example. You're right for sure, we need to work on inserting some thought and control into that without inhibiting her so she's afraid to speak up. But she said you were always patient with her on it, even when it hurt, and I had to tell her that's typical even though you view patience is one of your problem areas, that you would only have gotten impatient if what she said was way off base. And that's something else I have to thank you for. It's just what she needed, as far as I can see."

Scott said, "It was really a good thing that she came out with that. They weren't telling me, because they knew I wanted to avoid it, and they didn't understand enough that I was trying to avoid their falling in love with me, not their telling me they had. I was trying to avoid telling them, to keep pressure of responding off them. I knew if I told them, well, I had guessed by that time that they loved me, and it would make ending it all harder and more painful. But I'd been stupid about it all along. Trying to ignore it wasn't doing anyone any good. But the Lord provided, so that it worked out better than I had imagined it could, in the end. It was really hard on Lynda, breaking things off because Martha felt she—Martha—had to, but she did so well, you can be really proud of her.

"In fact, I can't think of anything she did during that whole time, anything I saw myself, that you can't be proud of her for. They both told me, some, about this screaming fight they had when they got home that first night. But the next night she apologized to Martha, telling her she had been entirely right, and then even more the next night, the night you heard all about. And Martha told me she was to blame, too, for the way that quarrel went."

For Martha's birthday, between the births of Hannah and little Brian, Lynda took her off to a day at a local spa. It turned out that this was, partially, camouflage for one particular item in that visit. Under normal circumstances, Scott had always found Martha's face and hair her least flattering features, not at all unpleasant, but rather plain. It turned out that Lynda had, ahead of time, taken pictures of Martha to the spa's hair stylist, and she had come up with some definite ideas.

So when Lynda brought her home that evening, Scott found himself shocked at the change in her appearance. For a few moments, he couldn't do anything but stare at her. She finally said, "Well, don't you like what you see?" But it seemed that she knew the answer, even if she might have been nervous about it at first. She gave him that blinding smile, and he was very relieved to see that its effect, too, was only enhanced.

He caught her in his arms and kissed her thoroughly. "Words fail me, again," he told her, when he was free to speak. He didn't know what all had been done to her hair, besides somehow giving it more body, but the difference it made to her face was startling to him.

She kissed him again. "A little of it is makeup," she told him, "and I doubt I'll bother with that on a regular basis. I bought some of the stuff they used, thinking of special occasions. But I'm glad you like the effect of the hairdo. Because I do, enough that you're going to be paying for me to go back to her every month or so. And she says it will work better once I let my hair grow a little longer." Martha had always worn her hair rather short. When Scott had asked her about it, she had told him that it saved a lot of time and effort in caring for it. Apparently, the new look was enough to justify more work. Scott was glad not to have to insist on it over her objections.

She stepped back and looked at him, a little uncertainly, anxiously even. "Scott, Lynda and Brian paid for this, but . . . I'll have to go back every month or two, maybe more often, to keep it up. We'll have to pay for that. Is it really OK with you?"

Scott told her, "There are way too many answers I can give to that. You'll have to bear with me, you're going to hear a bunch of them, but they're all 'yes' in any case. Unless she's charging you three hundred dollars just for a hairdo or something." He grinned. "Or unless it's magic, like in that Gavagan's Bar story.

"First off, it's wonderful. I love it. Second, and much more important, you love it, or you wouldn't be asking me like that. Third, most husbands routinely budget for their wives' hair appointments. I'd have done it any time, without question, if you'd ever given any sign that you wanted to get your hair done regularly—even if I couldn't see any difference." Martha had always had her hair cut, with no styling Scott knew of, every few months. He knew she resented it as a necessary waste of time and money. "And if circumstances were to change, so that somehow we really needed to start pinching pennies, I know you would be quicker to suggest dropping this than I ever would.

"Fourth, and right up there, well, it's more complicated to say, but you need to hear it. You're very attractive to me. I love your face, especially when you're really happy. I love to look at your body, and to touch it. And you know all that, so I won't go into detail all over again.

"But that's not why I love you. The woman I fell in love with is the woman who came asking for a job, and when I said my only opening was out on the floor with a bunch of rowdy guys who love intimidating newbies, you said that you'd give it a try. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but I did tell them to take it a little easy and to keep it clean, but no more. And you never came crying to me, so I only heard once or twice about things they pulled, and I know there were more and worse, just because I know them.

"And when there was an opening up front, you took it and ran with that, too. If that was to get away from the guys, you didn't let on. But because you knew in detail the job back there, you hit the ground running, easily outperforming people who'd been working for me for years. It was obvious that you'd really worked back there, in a way most of the guys just don't, trying to learn everything. And again, never a single complaint.

"So when I invented a new kind of job for you as my main assistant, you worked at that. If I had to correct you, you took it and learned from it. Your attention was always on getting everything done and done right. You got to the point where if I wasn't available, you could just take over and see that things got done. Right up until those last two or three months, you were as near perfect as you could be.

"And when I did find I needed to fire you—well, it showed me how much I was relying on you. For whatever reasons of your own, you didn't just get another job—and I know you could have—but decided you were going to do whatever it took to get your job back. And you came to me and said you'd do anything if I'd give you another chance."

He looked over at Lynda, who probably knew most of this and should have been bored to tears, but instead looked fascinated. "Lynda, I've referred to some of that conversation, but I never told you this part in detail, and I'm sure Martha never did. I asked her whether she was playing word games with me with that anything—when a woman says that to a man like that, she's usually offering sex but wanting him to be the one suggesting it. She said she was, but said that she didn't necessarily mean sex, or just sex. She said, in fact, that if I told her I'd do it if she moved in with me, did my cooking and cleaning and laundry and then slept with me every night, if that's what it took she was game. In effect, she offered to be my servant and, well, wife but with no commitment from me and no status."

He turned back to Martha. "You both know what actually developed. You made it plain that you meant that anything, all right. So, among other things, I fell in love with a woman who was willing to set her goal and go for it, whatever it cost. A woman of great courage and determination.

"But I also learned a lot more about you. In particular, I fell in love with a woman who, faced with a girl who had nowhere to turn, took her in for free, got her high school education finished off, got her a job, and mothered her enough—in spite of that girl's emotional turmoil—that she was able to come in and take on a full-time office job as well as most of the applicants I get.

"And I fell in love with a woman who, having promised honesty, tried to live up to that, even though it strained her relationship with her best friend. Who always was respectful, but who nonetheless was willing to confront me when she saw me not doing right. And who loved me, and loved me enough to not push me for things I would think were wrong.

"This hair style is like all that lacy stuff you got as shower gifts. You know I love seeing you in it, even when we're not going to make love any time soon, say when you're getting dressed in the morning. And I love taking it off you too. It does really flatter you. But it's the woman, not the underwear, not even all the delights of the body after it's off, it's the woman I love." He paused just for a moment, reflecting to himself that there hadn't been to much in the way of undressing her for a while. Schedule pressures were tending to make bedtime later and shorter, and this seemed likely to get worse as Hannah grew and the next child—or, they hoped, children—came along. He had watched this happen with Chris, even with no children, and he brooded a lot about it, not seeing what he could do to change it.

"I guess I might not have come to love you if it weren't for those bodily charms, and your willingness to share them with me. But that's not what I meant. They're not what I really love in you.

"I really do wish, though, that you would remember what I told you on our wedding night—in three different languages besides English, no less!—and really believe that I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't meant every word of it.

"So let me put it this way. I love what the hairdo does for your appearance! I love even more what I see about you, that it makes you feel attractive in a way you don't usually." Scott had deduced that long ago someone had told Martha she was ugly, to hurt her, and it had. He'd never insisted on the details, and she wasn't forthcoming, but he could tell it still hurt, a lot, and no matter what he said or did she never really believed how beautiful she was to him. "That right there is worth paying a lot more than this will cost.

"Except, if, if you're going to start saying to yourself, 'He finally really loves me now because this hairdo makes me so pretty,' then we'd better not do it. I love it, but that's not why I love you!"

Martha stared at him for a moment, then pulled him back into a hug, as though she were trying to squeeze him to death, and stood crying on his shoulder. "Oh! Oh, Scott! I want so much to look pretty for you! Thank you! I know all that, but sometimes my feelings don't keep up. Oh, thank you!"

In a minute, Scott let go of her and went over to Lynda and hugged her, too. Unusually, though he loosened up enough to step slightly back, he didn't break the embrace right away. "Lynda, thank you! I'd have done this long ago if I'd had the slightest idea it could make such a difference. You managed it in a way I never could. And I know there must have been lots of stuff besides the hairdo today. Please pass my thanks on to Brian, too. I know a whole day there costs enough that you wouldn't spend it without his approval, but I also know which of you is behind this. And I will thank him myself, of course." He kissed her forehead and gave her another gentle squeeze, and then went back to Martha and took her hand.

"I know you well enough to know you asked how much maintenance was going to run, a general idea anyway. But don't you tell me now. I'll find out when the time comes." They kissed briefly, and then turned to saying goodbye to Lynda. Scott had been sitting both of the little girls while the women were out for the day, so this involved her checking on the baby and packing things up. They saw her out the door, and then Scott finished getting dinner on the table. While he did that, and while they ate, she told him about other things from the day.