Let's Make Timmy Taller

Timmy was a conservative Airman. He served three years of his four year Air Force hitch in the Philippines. He spent his free time in the first bar that you see as you exit the base bus in the town of Balibago outside of Clark AFB. (The eruption of Mount Pinatubo killed the base) You could almost hit the main gate with a beer bottle. He never got to MacArthur Highway or Angeles City. After a period of perfect attendance and 100 percent loyalty to the bar, his picture appeared on the wall of honor. This was not the type that fighter pilots had at the Happy Bottom Flying Club, dusted daily by Pancho Barnes.

Timmy drank San Miguel beer from his reserved seat. The bargirls sent out and got him what he wanted to eat. The barber came to him and did his scissor cut. When the last call pussy bell went off Tim was content to screw the living shit out of any girl who didn't get her bar fine paid. He just took them where they slept in the back room on bamboo beds. Timmy still has bamboo burns on his knee caps. If by lucky chance there were several girls trying to sleep. Timmy was the kind of guy that fucked them all.

Mamma-san took a nap one day, he fucked her too. Every time she talked about it she got to laughing and called Timmy, "You, number ten GI." She would enhance her story with betel juice spittle all over the place.

"Timmy gave me number one fucky/fucky. He, my number one customer, fucks in back room. Always cleans up big mess. I fuck his father in big war, act just like Timmy. Paid with chocolate bar." It was her favorite story. She was probably in her 70"s or 80's and hadn't been laid in twenty years. She thought she was too old to sell her sex. She was right; Timmy didn't give her anything except a 1964 silver dime.

The money that Timmy did give to the girls wasn't his. He didn't even pay for his beer. He was a bought man. His roommate at the base was scared to come into town and get some PI pussy. His technique was to give Timmy money and Timmy would use the money and get all drunk and sexed up. When he returned to the base on the last bus, except week ends of course, he woke up his roomy and told him wild and "Wet for Roomy" stories. His roommate was always polite and whacked off in the dark under his sheets. Timmy acted like he wasn't hearing anything. Or seeing anything. His roommate had the top bunk and Timmy talked him through his loneness.

Tim was honest; he never made up a story.

Besides his pussy income as a professional story teller. Timmy's only talent was that he could write mirror image backwards. Timmy's Air Force job was to schedule flights for pilots. (dispatcher) He could walk up on the back side of Plexiglas and write down down all the flight information. The pilots read it from the front counter side.

After his four year enlistment Timmy got out of the Air Force. He did it with style. He had this teeth worked on and told the military dentists to replace them with Gold. He was the first person that figured out mercury poisoning was caused by dentists. He came out with 14 gold teeth paid for by the US military. The military dentists loved Timmy, they would practice on him. Timmy let them have their way with his mouth, as long as the session ended in gold. It broke Tim's heart when he found out that his teeth were a bonded gold alloy.

Timmy returned with his GI footlocker. He could proudly open it and point out that he had a new ink pen for every day of service and never returned one. Over twelve hundred black U.S. Military ink pens were retired with Timmy.

His final and convincing blow against the military was the last day of his enlistment he stayed on base until 11:00 and ate Midnight chow. He walked right up to the cook and said. "This is my last meal in the Air Force. I want an omelet and four eggs over medium. An, I'm going to take the next hot toast out of the toaster." If you messed with Tim he got his revenge.

Timmy arrived home, got drunk at the local berg, "Wagon Wheel." Banged, his high school sweet heart who informed Timmy she had waited in celibacy for him. Timmy proudly informed her that the Philippines was Pleasure Island but that he had never paid a hooker for any sex. He had saved all his money and was giving it to her.

Timmy filed the paper work to work for the Ohio State Highway Patrol. Timmy was doomed for failure. They told him they would hire him as a dispatcher based on his air force experience. He had pulled out his piece of Plexiglas and a grease pencil and showed them his back-wards writing skills.

To be a State Trooper you had to be six foot tall. Timmy was six foot tall in high school. Something horrible had happened. He showed them his expired military ID; it stated that he was six foot tall. The nurse that came and did the physical stated, "All men lie about two things and height is one of them. Do you want to show me the other."

Tim really wanted to whip it out in the interview. He was sporting a two inch larger dick, from his experience in the Philippines. The penis is a muscle and it got bigger through a proper exercise regiment. Timmy had paid the price he was two inches shorter and gained it on his whizzer.

His girl friend had also noticed, "Damn Timmy you got a lot more hanging out from my hand. You're almost as big as my old boy friend Denny."

Timmy didn't like her talking about Denny. He usually would show her some mirror image writing and draw little hearts and arrows to change the subject.

Timmy went to the family doctor, Doc. Ralston and requested information on how to get taller. Doc. Ralston gave him a supply of muscle relaxers and suggested that he hang weights from his feet while sleeping. Also to hang upside down several times a day to counter balance the compression of gravity. Gravity can squeeze you as much as one inch by the end of the day.

Timmy built a contraption of ropes, pulley's and weights from the end of his steel framed single bed. He had them hooked to boots he laced himself into every night. He slept with the pull of weights on his heavy boots. He had thirty days before he could test again.

He failed. He was an inch short. He had stretched out one loser inch in 30 days. Timmy felt a little satisfaction in the fact that he had stretched his dick out more than one inch. This is not what the highway patrol nurse was checking. He had been hanging rings and weights on his penis the entire time he was trying to get tall. He was not working, so all day long he was either pulling on his pecker to re-route it or hanging upside down.

The Highway patrol personnel informed Timmy that he could only test one more time. They also said that they would co-operate in any way that he suggested. For example do the height test first. Test early in the day.

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Timmy's Cousin Curley showed up from one of his overseas adventures and decided to help Timmy get taller.

Curley was an adventure type of guy. He was an aircraft Tech Rep. His job was to service aircraft for the military customer. When the military people couldn't fix some horrible problem; Curley was the, "go to guy." He proudly stated that he could fix anything except the crack of dawn or a broken heart.

Curley only lasted two days at his Mother's house. Her new husband didn't like it when Curley received the pork chops and set his plate to the side then added all the potatoes and peas to the serving platter and got to eating. Curley moved in the big house with his widow aunt and cousin Timmy.

Curley said, "Timmy if you do everything I tell you to do, I can promise you that I will add more then one inch to your height."

"Will I lose any length to my dick, I've added three inches to this bad thing. I got to figure out a name for it if it gets any bigger."

Timmy was digging around for his dick trying to find the head to whip it out.

"Your dick is a part of the problem. The bigger it gets the shorter you get. Where do think the extra size comes from. Do you think its brain is getting bigger? Every time you want to pull on your dick go hang from the swing set."

"Tim you got one last chance for the highway patrol. If you get in you will have plenty of chances to whip that python out. Women love guys in a uniform. Especially with that fruit hat you trooper boys wear."

Curley worked with Timmy for the remaining time frame. The big day approached. Curley briefed Timmy on what he had to do. Curley briefed Timmy's mother on everything that she had to do. She stated that she loved Timmy and she would do whatever she had to do.

The morning of the big event, Curley was sitting with his new bride downstairs in the kitchen drinking some after breakfast coffee. Curley heard Timmy moving around upstairs.

Curley said to his bride, "I bet, standard bet, that Timmy crawls down the steps."

The "standard bet" was for sex. If you lost you had to give the other person whatever kind of sex they wanted. Curley was a serious better and didn't like to lose. His new wife had some kind of female problem, and had these lumps of what seemed like cottage cheese growing in her snapper. She had told Curley that it was not cottage cheese that it was ricotta, because she was Italian and he needed to man up and get to eating. Curley requested EV olive oil and paid his debt.

Timmy crawled past the coffee drinkers and into the bathroom where he kicked the door shut.

"Timmy, get your dumb ass outside and pee in the grass. Do not stand up. You will lose an inch. Do you want to be a state trooper or do you want to pay for donuts the rest of your life."

"I bet Timmy crawls outside and pees on his side while lying on the ground."

Wife says, "No more bets, your cousin is not right."

Timmy crawls outside, turns toward the house and drags out his grotesque penis, inflated with a piss hard on.

Curley's wife is looking out the window above Timmy. "Damn, I bet that your cousin is bigger then you."

"No bet, I bet mine is prettier. Timmy has been pulling on his cheese scraper for the last 60 days; it's bulging and pulled loose at the bottom. He has a groove in his ass. All those muscle relaxers melted his dick. He has been reading books about Saudi Bedouins who select the youngest son to be the family stud. They dance around the desert with metal rings on their dick and service his brothers and grandpa."

"Bullshit."

"I got another bet,"

Timmy crawls toward the waiting Ford station wagon. His mother has the door open. Tim crawls up and over. He starts turning inside the back.

"Standard bet, Timmy will turn around."

"No bet, I can see him turning."

"Let me finish, his mother will hit him in the head with a two/four."

"I'll take that bet."

Timmy completes his turn and places his head on the pillow his mother is adjusting for him.

"Timmy, I love you, this is for you." She whacks the top of Timmy's head with a smart swing of the three foot piece of two/four that Curley had cut and placed in the wagon. She was walking tall.

"Let's go, sweetie girl, we got a couple of hours before they return. You got two bets to pay off with that cheesy snapper of yours."

"You need to tell me how you did it. And then I'll pay off."

"I gained Timmy's confidence. I told him to get a crew cut so that the bristles would hold up the height gage. I suggested that he put cardboard in his socks under his heel, since they measure him with socks on. Then I told him to insure that he was measured as soon as he walked in. He also agreed to not stand up in the morning for any reason. He had to crawl down the stairs, had to pee on his side, had to turn inside the car and lay backward to fight the acceleration of the car."

"The coup de grace was I talked to his mother and told her that the only way Timmy was going to make it was if she cracked him on the head with a two /four. The wood would seek out the highest part of his head and make it higher. His mother said she would insure that Timmy did not fail his final test."

She was right; to the top of his lump was six foot one.

It was all for nothing. Timmy took the written exam and flunked. He complained about headaches and floaters in his eyes. There is not a retest for the written. Timmy became a dispatcher for the Ohio State Highway Patrol. Timmy got to wear the trooper uniform and Smokey hat buckled from the rear. He was told to report for duty without gold teeth. The microphone symbol patch for a dispatcher looks like a large penis.

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