Letters to "F*#% Me" Magazine Pt. 01

Trying out an idea I had, hope you enjoy! Letters to an editor of a sex magazine for woman and men.

Issue January 10th, 2006

Hello my readers. I'm back with another action filled magazine with lots of hot, juicy, steamy sex!

But first, here's another letter from a dear sweet reader in Hickory, N.C.

She writes:

Dear Carley,

I can't stand it anymore! I noticed that I'm always aroused around my fiance's roommate, Eric. He is so hot, so fine, so gorgeous!! I've caught a few peeks of his long, thick cock when I've "accidentally" gone into the bathroom while he was showering. Every time, I'd cover my eyes, but really peak between my fingers. Hmm, yummy!

But of course, like I said, I'm engaged to his roommate, Mark. This is where it gets really ugly.....Mark and Eric are brothers!!!!

Mark is sweet, but is getting really dull in the bedroom. He is always at work, and never tends to my wild sex drive that just drives me crazy!

The really scary part is that I think Mark is catching on. A few nights ago, I was masturbating next to him while we were in bed. He had been busy looking over papers for work and didn't have time to have sex, so, I just slipped my fingers down under the covers and found the wetness between my legs. I soon had my hips thrashing around and all Mark did was say, "Shh, you're being too loud!"

I continued, trying to be as quiet as possible but couldn't help it. As I started to get closer to an orgasm, all I had to do to help myself get off was think of Eric's hard, thick meat after he came out of the shower. I slammed my fingers in and out of my pussy until I felt them get pushed away by my streaming cum and my clit was tingling and begging to be left alone to re-couperate.

I slowed down my movements and lay back down and looked at Mark. He had a strange look on his face and I asked what was wrong. He said, "I thought you moaned Eric just now."

I was mortified. I didn't know what to do. I just rolled my eyes and said, "No I didn't," rolled over and fell asleep.

Now, I'm not for sure what to do. Please, please, please help me! Give me an idea of how I can hold back my urges and still get married.

Or at least give me an idea of how to keep from wanting to jump his brother at our wedding.

Yours truly,

Soon-To-Be-Married

Hickory N.C.

Well, Soon-To-Be-Married,

This is what I have to say to ya.

Go for it!

If you can't help but want to jump the hot guy's bones every time you see him, go for it! Tell him that you have this uncontrollable desire to want to rip off his clothes and make hot, passionate sex to him in every room of his house/apartment and, if you want to be daring, even fuck him while your brother is in the house, sleeping in his bed.

Trust me, if he goes for it, do it!

If he doesn't, then go to your fiance, and screw his brains out.

If your fiance comes back telling you that his brother said you tried to seduce him, just tell him you were checking to see if you were marrying into a proper family. Say you are happy to be marrying a man with such a great brother that wouldn't betray his trust.

Trust me, it'll work.

Thanks for writing to me and being a fan,

Carley U. Nes' Tremous

Editor of "F*#% Me" magazine

* * * * *

February 10th, 2006

This months issue is jammed pack with lots of tips you can use with your partner this holiday. I was glad when I was able to title the tips column this month with "Sex up or Move out!"

I am quite proud of myself for that one and I hope you enjoy our tips. We have from turning your man's cock into a "bananna" split sundae or how to use a normal deck of cards to give him the best head you've ever gotten....at least from a man.

Like always though, we start off with our reader's mail. And we have another letter from Soon-To-Be-Married who wrote to us last month.

Here's what she had to say:

Hey Carley,

I did what you said, and this is what happened:

I read your reply to my letter last month, and I loved your advice. I knew that Mark was heading out of town for the weekend, so I put my plan into play.

I dressed in a new lingerie set that is pure white with tiny red cherries on it. I covered myself with a typical dress from my closet and headed over to my fiance's house that he shares with Eric.

I knocked on the door and when Eric opened it, I brushed past him. I told him that I was only needing to pick up a few files that I had accidentally left on Mark's desk in his room. Eric didn't say anything and closed the front door as I sped up the stairs to Mark's room. I went into his room and closed the door behind me. I quickly tore off my dress and waited for my heart to quit beating so damn fast.

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, I opened the door and called down to Eric. I yelled to him that I needed help with something and left the door open. I quickly sat down on the edge of Mark's bed and when Eric came in and saw me sitting there on his brother's bed, he froze.

I told him to come in and talk to me. He closed the door and stood there, starring at my body. I thought he was upset at first, but then I noticed the hard bulge in his jeans. I smiled down at his crotch, then looked back up at him. I leaned back on the bed, resting on my elbows and opened my legs. "Can you still help me with something?" I asked him.

He kept standing there. I was afraid he was going to say no. That he would turn around and leave me there on his brothers bed, wet and hot and more than willing to throw my 1.5 kt. diamond ring out the window and fuck his brains out. I didn't care that I was surrounded by pictures of my fiance, or that there was all kids of memories framed or tacked to the wall of my six year courtship with his brother. I just wanted to fuck him and see if I was going to be missing anything in "happily ever after land".

I was about to call it quits when Eric licked his lips and smiled. I smiled back and then was taken by surprise as he suddenly got to his knees and got between my thighs. He didn't waste anytime and began to pull down my thong panties and started giving me the best head ever!

His tongue didn't stick to just my clit, he circled it around my button and worked his tongue strongly against my hood, lifting it up slightly and sucked on it in his mouth. He rolled my hood inbetween his lips and moaned against my clit with his chin pressed against my pussy lips.

I moaned and sighed as he pressed my legs open and held them up by gripping my thighs. He wouldn't let my legs rest against his shoulders, he kept me up the whole time; it was amazing, I didn't grow tired of keeping my legs up to get a better angle.

His tongue worked back and forth over my slit, getting my juices all over me. We didn't even care that as he made me cum that my juices were spilling out over his brother's comforter.

He didn't forget my ass either, which is something that I'll complain right out about his brother. Mark never would lick my ass....but Eric...ohh, my, Eric! His tongue did the most wonderful job of licking the edge of my tight ass that I came again as he rimmed me.

He then rolled me over and as I got up on my knees he pressed open my cheeks and slammed his hard tongue between them. His tongue quickly penetrated my ass in ways that were un-imanginable. I rolled my hips and came repeatedly as he probed my ass hole and he started fingering my cunt.

I moaned to him over and over that I loved how he was licking me, how much I wanted his tongue to keep pleasuring me in ways I never knew existed.

Then he threw me a curve-ball.

He pulled me back down to the bed and pulled me off. I was on my knees bent over in front of him, my tits pressed against the bed that I have fucked in so many times with my new lover's brother. He didn't bother to open up my top, he just got right to business. I hadn't noticed he'd unzipped his pants and had pulled them off when he was licking my ass and my pussy.

He held me tight in his hands, holding my tits as he pressed his cock between my ass cheeks. He didn't need a hand to guide his cock to my pussy, he knew the way. I was floored as his meat pressed my lips open and slid inside.

I threw my head back and screamed his name as he thrust into me and pushed me back on the bed. He held me down by squeezing my tits away from him as he kept fucking me. I felt my pussy totally full of his hard cock and soon, I was cumming on it.

He moaned in my ear as my pussy shook and craved for his cock, soon my juices had coated my thighs and were dripping down to the floor. He didn't stop there either. He held my nipples through the sheer fabric and pinched them as he kept thrusting his cock in and out of my wet snatch. He moaned that I was getting loose and wanted to stop before he fucked me too hard, afraid of stretching me out to where his brother would notice. He pulled out and for a moment, I thought he was going to quit fucking me completely because I wasn't tight enough for him.

He instead turned me around. He picked me up and put me back on the bed. He stood up and held my ankles in his hands, holding my legs out to the sides. He looked down at his cock and snarled as it pressed between my ass cheeks and put hard pressure against my ass hole.

He told me to hold on and before I could brace myself, he thrust into me. The pain and pleasure that shot from my ass and through my body was so exquisite! I screamed out to him that I was cumming and he laughed. He told me he could tell because my pussy was juicing up his cock and that he didn't need any lube for my ass. He pulled out a bit and let my pussy juice slide over his shaft and then he thrust back into me.

I felt his wet tool cram it's self back into my butt and I again moaned out to him the pleasure he was electrocuting me with. He smiled down at me and kept fucking me. I can only imagine how hot it looked to see his cock enter my ass.

He held tightly onto my ankles and kept fucking me, watching my tits bounce around under my cami top. He watched them like it was a football game on TV and when he got close to cumming, he reached down and ripped the top open and grabbed onto my tits. He held them in his hands and squeezed them as he thrust a few more times into my ass before shooting his cum deep into my rear.

I felt every shot of his sticky mess shoot into my ass and when he came, his dick flexed in my ass which just made me fall in love with his cock. He then fell forward and we fell asleep, his cock still in my ass.

It was so amazing, that I've now since called off my engagement to Mark and Eric and I are secretly seeing each other. It's so fun and erotic. We even do our best to fuck quietly against the wall to my ex's room, it gets us off in magical ways to know that Mark could find out, but we don't care. It just feels good to finally have someone that knows what they are doing.

Thank you so much Carley!!

Yours truly,

Soon-To-Be-Getting-Fucked

Hickory, N.C.

What can I say, she is one lucky woman!

Here's what "Slutty Student" in Santa Barbara, C.A. has written to me about:

Dear Carley,

I love your magazine, especially your sex advice. It really helps a girl in the millenium to know how to make her pussy purr for her when the boys are all out with the other boys and all the men are married.

My problem though is every time I'm in my English 101 class at my college, I can't help but want to open my legs to my professor. He's in his middle ages, balding, but has a great tennis players body.

He blushes when he catches a glimpse between my legs and on a few occasions, he calls on me when I have my legs closed. When I open them to him, he looses his track of his question and moves on, always giving me a look before turning back to the wipe-off board. I'm not sure if anyone in class has noticed but it's become a fun game.

What I'm wondering though is am I a whore for this? Is my never ending urge to show my teacher my wet panties and my milky thighs a sign of me being a whore?

What should I do, Carley?

Slutty Student

Santa Barbara, CA

Well Slutty Student,

Your letter reminds me of my first time with a woman. I was in college...tired at the end of the day, didn't realize that my legs kept falling open towards my professor. When she called the end of class almost twenty minutes early and asked to speak to me after everyone left, I didn't think anything of it.

As soon as everyone left the classroom, she locked the door and came up to my desk. Before I knew it, she had her hand between my legs pulling my panties down from under my skirt. She kissed me hard, sucked on my tits, then had me sit on my desk with my hips in the air with her mouth attached to my pussy. I came so hard and so long that to this day, I haven't had an orgasm yet that tops it.

Whew!

Well, now that I've just cum in my panties writing that, I'll give you some advice.

Are you getting a C or higher in this class? Then you are doing just fine, continue showing your teacher your goods.

If not, then KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!!!

Do you really want for your professor to think that you are trying to get him to come onto you so he can raise your grade for you???

I think you should start wearing jeans to class, or at least wear long skirts or dresses so anything from the knee up is totally covered.

Good luck girl, don't get kicked out school!

Carley U. Nes' Tremous

Editor of "F*#% Me" magazine

Hope you enjoy this issue, and I'll see you back next month!