Life of a Slut Wife and Mum Ch. 00.5: Bonus 02

This is a fun, humorous set of jokes inspired by the classic "Good Girl, Bad Girl" sex jokes and expanded upon. Please enjoy the "Life of a Slut Wife and Mum" series in conjunction with it and message and comment any feedback you have for both this and the main series.

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Good girls fuck like kittens

Bad girls fuck like bitches

My mum fucks like a bunny

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Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot

Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

My mum unbuttons guys' pants

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Good girls think oral sex is kissing the tip and then a handjob

Bad girls think oral sex is licking and sucking a cock like it's a lollipop

My mum thinks oral sex is when her mouth becomes a pussy

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Good girls wax their floors

Bad girls wax their bikini line

My mum waxes guys' balls

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Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies

Bad girls know they could do it better

My mum thinks there aren't enough cocks

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Good girls wear white cotton panties

Bad girls wear thongs

My mum wears a butt plug

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Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls

Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

My mum thinks she's fully dressed with a "pearl necklace"

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Good girls pack their toothbrush

Bad girls pack their diaphragms

My mum packs Viagra and volume pills

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Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it

Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

My mum owns only one bikini and rarely uses it

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Good girls think cum is for having babies

Bad girls think cum is for tasting

My mum thinks cum is facial cream and hair conditioner combined

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Good girls wear high heels to work

Bad girls wear high heels to bed

My mum wears high heels to bed, lets guys cum in them then wears them to work

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Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance

Bad girls think the office is a hot place to have a romance

My mum thinks the office is boring

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Good girls prefer the missionary position

Bad girls prefer the doggy position

My mum adds chapters to the Kama Sutra

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Good girls say no

Bad girls say when?

My mum coughs and chokes on the cock in her mouth

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Good girls go to the party, go home, and then go to bed

Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home

My mum goes to the party, goes to bed with three guys, then wakes up the next morning with her butt crusted to the sheets

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Good girls sit with their legs crossed

Bad girls sit with their legs open

My mum sits on mens' cocks

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Good girls watch G movies

Bad girls watch R movies

My mum makes R movies

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Good girls' boyfriends wake up with a kiss from them

Bad girls' boyfriends wake up with a pair of boobs in their hands

My mum's boyfriends wake up with their cocks firing in her mouth

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Good girls' give their boyfriends blowjobs for their birthdays

Bad girls' give their boyfriends anal for their birthdays

My mum gives her boyfriends ass to mouth blowjobs for their birthdays

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Good girls wear one piece swimsuits

Bad girls wear bikinis

My mum goes skinny dipping

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Good girls like to receive flowers

Bad girls like to receive jewellery

My mum likes to receive pearl necklaces

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Good girls thank guys for driving them around with a kiss

Bad girls thank guys for driving them around with a motorboat

My mum thanks guys for driving her around with roadhead

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Good girls blush when my dad winks at them

Bad girls smile when my dad winks at them

My mum whispers "when?" when my dad winks at her

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Good girls wear make up to work

Bad girls wear make up to clubs

My mum wears make up to bed

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Good girls love milk

Bad girls love vodka

My mum loves cum

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Good girls hate porn

Bad girls love porn

My mum stars in porn

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Good girls like milk for breakfast

Bad girls like rum for breakfast

My mum likes cum for breakfast

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Good girls get fucked with the windows closed

Bad girls get fucked with the windows open

My mum gets fucked against the window

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Good girls enjoy the food at a nice restaurant

Bad girls think about the sex after dinner

My mum is under the table swallowing a protein shake

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To be expanded...