Life with: Kat and Alejandro Ep. 05

Kat clasped her hands in her lap. Alejandro's driving made her nervous sometimes. Especially when something was bothering him. He'd drive as if he were the only one on the street and the car was sheathed in iron.

"If you don't want to take the vacation we don't have to. Or if you want to go alone I won't say—"

"We're going. Both of us." Kat took a peek in his direction for the first time since they'd gotten in the car and tried to understand his emotions. He didn't seem the slightest bit angry. She couldn't quite describe what she saw in his side profile, but she knew for sure it wasn't joy.

"I'm not going to separate myself from my kids so that you can ignore me on a resort. We can do that at home." Kat could feel herself getting frustrated with his indifference. His doctor had given him a recommendation that might save their marriage—their family. And it seemed as if he was being inconvenienced.

"Stay home and I'll take the kids so you can have time to yourself." She suggested quietly with her eyes still focused out the passenger window.

"Kat, don't say anything else about it. You and I are going." She'd given him options to avoid being in her presence for extended periods of time, but he'd passed them up. So he'd have no excuses for mistreating her on his trip; she wouldn't allow him to concoct any either.

*

The last bell of the day had rung and Kat straightened her skirt as she followed the kids out. She watched over them as they all scrambled for the buses and their parents. An ocean of navy and white uniforms all moved swiftly around her, forcing her to be cautious of her steps.

She opened the door of the front office and shut it behind herself. There were a couple adults in the waiting room, anticipating their turn to speak to the principle. Kay greeted them quietly with a light smile.

Marlennys chatted speedily on the phone. Kat sat in her special seat at the end of her desk. She watched as her best friend wrote information on a tablet while rubbing her poking belly. She wore a thick headband that pushed her short pixie cut out of her eyes. Kat thought it made her look so much younger.

Within a minute or two she'd hung up the phone and pivoted her chair to face Kat. She couldn't help the smile pulling at her lips when she was awarded a perfect view of her bump. She unthinkingly leaned forward to lay a palm under her breast.

"They really need to put someone else in here; this is a lot of work for you." Marlennys was constantly working. She was moving from one task to another every second of her workday. Handling parents, emails, phones and countless other logistics for such a large school was too much for one person but even more for someone carrying a child.

"No," Marlennys said hastily. "I'm not sharing my paychecks and bonuses with *anyone*." She feigned defensiveness. Kat chuckled nonchalantly.

"How've you been feeling?" She remembered how scared and clueless she had been while she was pregnant with Andres. She wished she had someone available to answer her questions whenever one arose. Patricia was as helpful as she could be from so far away, but sometimes her small questions weren't worth the calling card hassle. The feeling of immediate support would've been a comfort in itself. Her goal was to be that person for Marlennys.

"Tired. I feel like I can't sleep enough. I just want to lie in bed all day." Kat chortled while shaking her head.

"I don't think that has anything to do with the pregnancy; that's an everyday thing for me." Marlennys snorted.

"Well you also have 3 kids so I'm not surprised." The conversation's mood took a turn. "How're you?"

Kat retracted her arm from her stomach and reclined in her seat with a sigh."I'm okay. Alejandro and I talked this weekend." She swallowed. "He has depression."

Marlennys gasped quietly and then scanned the room fleetingly. She rolled her chair forward, as if everything were some confidential secret.

"What?" She asked in disbelief. If the news wasn't still so fresh to Kat, she would've laughed at her reaction. But it was the first time she'd ever said such a sentence aloud, and she was beginning to reflect.

"Yeah. He's had it for awhile. He has a therapist too."

"And he didn't tell you?" That was the most difficult part for her to understand too.

"No." Marlennys wore an irritated expression. She parted her lips to speak and Kat cut her short.

"Don't. I understand why he'd keep it from me." Marlennys smiled as she pouted jokingly. Kat knew she was about to rip Alejandro apart for such selfish choices. Kat didn't need to hear it; it wouldn't do her any good.

"Is he treating you better?" Kat shrugged lightly. That was a difficult question to answer.

"He isn't as cruel but it doesn't feel any better than when he was." Marlennys sighed, growing visibly agitated. Her hormonal swings were beginning to get more noticeable.

"Well, what did the therapist say? When will he be back to himself?"

"I didn't ask. I don't want to push him. The doctor did set us up on a vacation tomorrow. I'll be on a resort all weekend." Marlennys got a little excited. Kat was somewhat excited too. She didn't care if Alejandro was uninterested in spending time with her. She deserved time to herself and she'd make sure she got it. If Alejandro didn't want to put in effort fixing their marriage, she'd spend time fixing herself.

"Are you ready?" For some reason Kat wasn't sure what the question meant.

"Yes... He can't be much worse—"

"No, I mean are you waxed? Manicured? Lingerie?" Kat hadn't even thought of those things. She hadn't thought about if the vacation actually served its purpose. What if he was ready to be intimate with her again?

Her core warmed at the thought. Alejandro touching and kissing her would be as electrifying as the first time they met. Her core cooled promptly after as she tried to repress her high hopes. If it were to happen, she definitely wanted everything to be just right.

"I didn't even think about that..." She whispered mostly to herself.

Marlennys turned in her chair and collected her keys and wallet. "Well, I'll pick you up at 5:30."

*

Kat missed her kids already. Alejandro's father selflessly agreed to give up his weekend plans and take the kids to school on Monday while they were away. He seemed happy to have them but she was sure after a day or two, he'd be even happier to return them. Her kids were wonderful individually, but as a trio they could be overbearing if unprepared.

The resort was an hour away from the house but probably 15 minutes less with Alejandro's driving. Kat decided the drive to and from the resort would be a great opportunity to get grading done. She hoped to do some the night before, but she'd underestimated how long packing for herself and the kids would take. Maribel also needed a hairstyle that would withstand 3 nights of her restless sleeping so Kat had to braid it that morning before they left.

So far, the vacation was more stress causing than relieving. Alejandro made no effort to help other than light socializing with the kids while she made breakfast and feeding Andres a bottle Kat pumped and prepared. Kat was taken aback by just how headless-chicken like she felt.

Although, when she got in the car and the silence of childlessness took over, she relaxed visibly. She put her newly manicured toes on the dashboard and let the sun warm her feet. She tried to pull her gladiator sunglasses off of the top of her head but the hinges got caught in one of her twists. She lowered the visor to see her reflection.

She'd twisted her kinky coily fro into 50 large individuals sealed with a curl on the end. She knew the style would require little from her the next few days and that was exactly what she needed. She couldn't imagine spending hours detangling and styling her hair every night after long days in the ocean. So they were hanging freely at her collar.

Marlennys was excited to prepare her for her trip. They spent an entire day waxing, shopping and pampering. Kat purchased an outfit for ever day of her vacation, two new swimsuits and a lingerie set. Just thinking of the lace and indecency made her cheeks hot. It was scanty to say the least and even she knew she'd probably lack the courage to put it on. However, when Marlennys was involved, Kat fed off of her emotions and at the time of purchase, she was confident. She'd boasted about her perfect pear shape; flaring hips, tucked but not flat high set waist and full, lactating breasts which had been the perfect persuasion tactic.

She looked at Alejandro fleetingly—trying to mentally take a picture of his profile so she could stare in her mind.

Since she sat in on his counseling session, Kat knew she was more self-assured. Something about the experience shut off her capacity to pity herself as severely as she had. She'd hit rock bottom that day, and now there was nowhere left to move but up. Sometimes she woke up feeling beautiful and empowered, minimally concerning herself with the Alejandro's possible perceptions of her or their lives. Although sometimes she'd have setbacks—either from the start and end of the day or for five random minutes.

Those 5 minutes were then. She wanted to reach out to him while he focused so deeply on the stretch of road ahead. Four months ago she would've laid a hand against his jaw and placed supple kisses against his stubble covered cheek. She was sure just touching him would make the ride uncomfortable for them both. So instead, she tried to concentrate on grading her papers.

*

Alejandro followed behind her as she scanned the numbers for their room. The resort was gorgeous—the cost for three nights told her before she'd visited. Their door was the last on the floor, right beside a large window seat that gave a perfect view of the ocean. Kat knew she'd be there early in the morning with a cup of coffee at least once.

Kat inaudibly gasped when she opened the door. The hotel room resembled a luxury apartment. There was a window at least 3 feet long lining the wall from top to bottom across from the entryway. It allowed a perfect view of the beach and crystal blue waves below. They were only on the 10th floor so no one would be able to see inside. Alejandro left their bags in the dining area to look around. Kat was still in the living room, peering out the large window when he spoke.

"You chose two rooms?" Kat turned to see his face. His thick eyebrows were pushed together inquisitively. His tone sounded somewhat bothered. Her heart beat faster. She regretted her choice to doubt him.

He was really trying.