Life with: Kat and Alejandro Ep. 06

Kat clasped her hands in her lap. Alejandro's driving made her nervous sometimes. Especially when something was bothering him. He'd drive as if he were the only one on the street and the car was sheathed in iron.

"If you don't want to take the vacation we don't have to. Or if you want to go alone I won't say—"

"We're going. Both of us." Kat took a peek in his direction for the first time since they'd gotten in the car and tried to understand his emotions. He didn't seem the slightest bit angry. She couldn't quite describe what she saw in his side profile, but she knew for sure it wasn't joy.

"I'm not going to separate myself from my kids so that you can ignore me on a resort. We can do that at home." Kat could feel herself getting frustrated with his indifference. His doctor had given him a recommendation that might save their marriage—their family. And it seemed as if he was being inconvenienced.

"Stay home and I'll take the kids so you can have time to yourself." She suggested quietly with her eyes still focused out the passenger window.

"Kat, don't say anything else about it. You and I are going." She'd given him options to avoid being in her presence for extended periods of time, but he'd passed them up. So he'd have no excuses for mistreating her on his trip; she wouldn't allow him to concoct any either.

*

The last bell of the day had rung and Kat straightened her skirt as she followed the kids out. She watched over them as they all scrambled for the buses and their parents. An ocean of navy and white uniforms all moved swiftly around her, forcing her to be cautious of her steps.

She opened the door of the front office and shut it behind herself. There were a couple adults in the waiting room, anticipating their turn to speak to the principle. Kay greeted them quietly with a light smile.

Marlennys chatted speedily on the phone. Kat sat in her special seat at the end of her desk. She watched as her best friend wrote information on a tablet while rubbing her poking belly. She wore a thick headband that pushed her short pixie cut out of her eyes. Kat thought it made her look so much younger.

Within a minute or two she'd hung up the phone and pivoted her chair to face Kat. She couldn't help the smile pulling at her lips when she was awarded a perfect view of her bump. She unthinkingly leaned forward to lay a palm under her breast.

"They really need to put someone else in here; this is a lot of work for you." Marlennys was constantly working. She was moving from one task to another every second of her workday. Handling parents, emails, phones and countless other logistics for such a large school was too much for one person but even more for someone carrying a child.

"No," Marlennys said hastily. "I'm not sharing my paychecks and bonuses with *anyone*." She feigned defensiveness. Kat chuckled nonchalantly.

"How've you been feeling?" She remembered how scared and clueless she had been while she was pregnant with Andres. She wished she had someone available to answer her questions whenever one arose. Patricia was as helpful as she could be from so far away, but sometimes her small questions weren't worth the calling card hassle. The feeling of immediate support would've been a comfort in itself. Her goal was to be that person for Marlennys.

"Tired. I feel like I can't sleep enough. I just want to lie in bed all day." Kat chortled while shaking her head.

"I don't think that has anything to do with the pregnancy; that's an everyday thing for me." Marlennys snorted.

"Well you also have 3 kids so I'm not surprised." The conversation's mood took a turn. "How're you?"

Kat retracted her arm from her stomach and reclined in her seat with a sigh."I'm okay. Alejandro and I talked this weekend." She swallowed. "He has depression."

Marlennys gasped quietly and then scanned the room fleetingly. She rolled her chair forward, as if everything were some confidential secret.

"What?" She asked in disbelief. If the news wasn't still so fresh to Kat, she would've laughed at her reaction. But it was the first time she'd ever said such a sentence aloud, and she was beginning to reflect.

"Yeah. He's had it for awhile. He has a therapist too."

"And he didn't tell you?" That was the most difficult part for her to understand too.

"No." Marlennys wore an irritated expression. She parted her lips to speak and Kat cut her short.

"Don't. I understand why he'd keep it from me." Marlennys smiled as she pouted jokingly. Kat knew she was about to rip Alejandro apart for such selfish choices. Kat didn't need to hear it; it wouldn't do her any good.

"Is he treating you better?" Kat shrugged lightly. That was a difficult question to answer.

"He isn't as cruel but it doesn't feel any better than when he was." Marlennys sighed, growing visibly agitated. Her hormonal swings were beginning to get more noticeable.

"Well, what did the therapist say? When will he be back to himself?"

"I didn't ask. I don't want to push him. The doctor did set us up on a vacation tomorrow. I'll be on a resort all weekend." Marlennys got a little excited. Kat was somewhat excited too. She didn't care if Alejandro was uninterested in spending time with her. She deserved time to herself and she'd make sure she got it. If Alejandro didn't want to put in effort fixing their marriage, she'd spend time fixing herself.

"Are you ready?" For some reason Kat wasn't sure what the question meant.

"Yes... He can't be much worse—"

"No, I mean are you waxed? Manicured? Lingerie?" Kat hadn't even thought of those things. She hadn't thought about if the vacation actually served its purpose. What if he was ready to be intimate with her again?

Her core warmed at the thought. Alejandro touching and kissing her would be as electrifying as the first time they met. Her core cooled promptly after as she tried to repress her high hopes. If it were to happen, she definitely wanted everything to be just right.

"I didn't even think about that..." She whispered mostly to herself.

Marlennys turned in her chair and collected her keys and wallet. "Well, I'll pick you up at 5:30."

*

Kat missed her kids already. Alejandro's father selflessly agreed to give up his weekend plans and take the kids to school on Monday while they were away. He seemed happy to have them but she was sure after a day or two, he'd be even happier to return them. Her kids were wonderful individually, but as a trio they could be overbearing if unprepared.

The resort was an hour away from the house but probably 15 minutes less with Alejandro's driving. Kat decided the drive to and from the resort would be a great opportunity to get grading done. She hoped to do some the night before, but she'd underestimated how long packing for herself and the kids would take. Maribel also needed a hairstyle that would withstand 3 nights of her restless sleeping so Kat had to braid it that morning before they left.

So far, the vacation was more stress causing than relieving. Alejandro made no effort to help other than light socializing with the kids while she made breakfast and feeding Andres a bottle Kat pumped and prepared. Kat was taken aback by just how headless-chicken like she felt.

Although, when she got in the car and the silence of childlessness took over, she relaxed visibly. She put her newly manicured toes on the dashboard and let the sun warm her feet. She tried to pull her gladiator sunglasses off of the top of her head but the hinges got caught in one of her twists. She lowered the visor to see her reflection.

She'd twisted her kinky coily fro into 50 large individuals sealed with a curl on the end. She knew the style would require little from her the next few days and that was exactly what she needed. She couldn't imagine spending hours detangling and styling her hair every night after long days in the ocean. So they were hanging freely at her collar.

Marlennys was excited to prepare her for her trip. They spent an entire day waxing, shopping and pampering. Kat purchased an outfit for ever day of her vacation, two new swimsuits and a lingerie set. Just thinking of the lace and indecency made her cheeks hot. It was scanty to say the least and even she knew she'd probably lack the courage to put it on. However, when Marlennys was involved, Kat fed off of her emotions and at the time of purchase, she was confident. She'd boasted about her perfect pear shape; flaring hips, tucked but not flat high set waist and full, lactating breasts which had been the perfect persuasion tactic.

She looked at Alejandro fleetingly—trying to mentally take a picture of his profile so she could stare in her mind.

Since she sat in on his counseling session, Kat knew she was more self-assured. Something about the experience shut off her capacity to pity herself as severely as she had. She'd hit rock bottom that day, and now there was nowhere left to move but up. Sometimes she woke up feeling beautiful and empowered, minimally concerning herself with the Alejandro's possible perceptions of her or their lives. Although sometimes she'd have setbacks—either from the start and end of the day or for five random minutes.

Those 5 minutes were then. She wanted to reach out to him while he focused so deeply on the stretch of road ahead. Four months ago she would've laid a hand against his jaw and placed supple kisses against his stubble covered cheek. She was sure just touching him would make the ride uncomfortable for them both. So instead, she tried to concentrate on grading her papers.

*

Alejandro followed behind her as she scanned the numbers for their room. The resort was gorgeous—the cost for three nights told her before she'd visited. Their door was the last on the floor, right beside a large window seat that gave a perfect view of the ocean. Kat knew she'd be there early in the morning with a cup of coffee at least once.

Kat inaudibly gasped when she opened the door. The hotel room resembled a luxury apartment. There was a window at least 3 feet long lining the wall from top to bottom across from the entryway. It allowed a perfect view of the beach and crystal blue waves below. They were only on the 10th floor so no one would be able to see inside. Alejandro left their bags in the dining area to look around. Kat was still in the living room, peering out the large window when he spoke.

"You chose two rooms?" Kat turned to see his face. His thick eyebrows were pushed together inquisitively. His tone sounded somewhat bothered. Her heart beat faster. She regretted her choice to doubt him.

He was really trying.

"Oh... yes. I just thought—" He cut her short.

"Thank you." She stared after him in disbelief. He languidly strolled into the bathroom and shut the door behind himself. Kat rolled her eyes and pivoted back to the window. This vacation was already heading down a bad road. She decided to take her luggage into her room and freshen up before she indulged in the resort and surrounding area's services.

The bed was a queen sized 3 foot high cloud. The duvet had to be one of the softest looking things she'd ever seen. The room was a comforting burnt yellow and she was glad to have a modest sized window of her own. She had a full bathroom and small balcony. In the center of her bed was a classy page sized envelope. She opened the melted seal that was stamped with the resort's logo and revealed the glossed invitation.

There was a welcome dinner that night. There would be food, cultural dances and performances. The presentation was so formal that she knew it would be a big event. The hotel itself gave her a feeling it didn't take itself lightly. She grew excited to dress up and enjoy herself. She thought of a possible outfit she could wear and kept coming up short. She didn't think she brought anything formal enough. Maybe she just needed a good excuse to go out and purchase even more than she had yesterday with Marlennys.

The thought of walking around a mall exhausted her more than actually doing the walking would've. She was extremely tired and knew she needed a nap before anything else. She kicked off her shoes at the foot of her bed and climbed to the plush pillows. The clock across from her read 11am. A couple hours of rest would be enough to propel her through the evening and hopefully early dawn.

Alejandro hadn't seen or heard from Kat in about an hour. He rapped on her crackled bedroom door noiselessly. When he didn't get an answer, he gently pushed it open to reveal her sprawled on top of the bed spread. Her formal invitation was open and identical to the one he had on dresser.

He knew she'd want him to join her, but he honestly wasn't up to it. Guilt consumed him as he thought of how many times his conscious would force him to decline Kat's requests over the next few days. Knowing his wife, it wouldn't take too many of his declinations for her to just stop asking.

He leaned against a wall adjacent to her resting frame and stared at her face.

She was so beautiful. Her shiny twists were lying freely behind her. She held one pillow between her hands and one between her legs. Alejandro noticed the position was very similar to how she'd hold him; the pillows were his replacement. Her thigh was perched high with a 90 degree bend in her knee. She'd worn a colorful mini dress with a 3/4 sleeve and braided brown belt. Her sleeping position allowed him a perfect view of her full, almond colored thigh. He could see how smooth the skin was from where he stood. The setting sun added a special orange tint to her already bronzed hue.

If he were healthy, the sight would've compelled him to wake her up that second. He'd make love to her as she was still trying to awaken from her nap. He'd loved to softness of her plush frame and the new post-pregnancy curves she wore so well. He'd be taking advantage of their solitude and making sure he coaxed loud orgasms out of her.

But her thigh did nothing for him then. The thought of making love to her did not arouse him. He instead abruptly cast his eyes elsewhere and tried to rid himself of the strange urge to vomit. The uneasiness he felt when he thought of any sexual act was unexplainable. He hadn't masturbated in over five months and he had no interest in doing so. He had no sex drive.

He glanced at Kat once more and left her room.

Kat awoke refreshed, and to a nearly set sun. She checked the time to see she'd slept close to four hours. She rummaged through her suitcase to find her toothbrush.

She went to see if Alejandro would go with her to the welcome dinner. He was at the window, looking out onto the water. She approached him from the side carefully.

"Are you going tonight?" He was silent for a second. Kat grew irritated. His faux act of consideration was insulting and just pissed her off. She knew he wouldn't go: she knew him. Even though the purpose of the vacation was to repair their marriage, she knew getting him to spend time with her would be a task she didn't know if she was going to take on.

"Just say no, damn." She mumbled right before she turned for the bathroom door.

"Kat," He called for her just before she could close and lock the door.

*

Kat spent much more time shopping than she planned. She kept coming into contact with cute things she kept convincing herself she needed. She'd purchased everything from sunglasses, clothes and makeup. She even got each of the kids souvenirs. However, she did purchase the perfect dress for the welcome dinner.

She came across a floor length dress with a high neck that tied at the nape and lead to an intricately exposed back using thin straps. It left her skin open for gazing down to the very small of her back. The colors set her deep skin with its neon pink and dark fuscia ombre at the hem. Her twists were piled at the top of her head in a neat bun. She wore light makeup with heavily glossed lips.

She held the skirt of her dress in her hand as she maneuvered around the lobby to find the door leading to the patio. Kat finally came into view of a double glass door with a gold bow around both handles that matched the ribbon around her invitation. She opened both doors with a bit too much force and was immediately flushed with embarrassment.

Her shopping extension put her about an hour behind schedule. She figured she was late, but not *this* late. Everyone was seated, silently listening to the person on stage. Although now, they were staring at the woman who threw open the doors during a speech. The man on stage had stopped speaking and was silently staring at Kat. Her cheeks grew hot with the unwanted attention and she raised a palm seeking forgiveness.

"I'm sorry." She whispered silently as she skipped over to the corner, conveniently beside the open bar. The speaker began speaking and she grew progressively less embarrassed.

"On behalf of my staff, I welcome you and hope to make your stay pleasant and memorable." The owner of the resort was making the speech with his thick, native accent. She had already ordered a glass of Malbec by the time he was finished. The band played famous contemporary tunes and the lead singer sounded beautiful.

Kat could feel herself wanting to dance when she took the first sip of her 3rd glass of wine.

She looked around from her spot at the bar. She had the strangest hunch that she was being watched. There were so many faces in the sea of vacationers that she couldn't tell if anyone was looking directly at her. Maybe she was just too drunk to keep her eyes focused long enough to notice. She figured the answer was one of the two options.

The next song was one of Kat's favorites. It had originally been Alejandro's favorite but then she heard it so often, she couldn't help but love it too. He taught her the cultural dance "El Cuarteto" to accompany the song. Kat stepped away from the bar to see a couple performing the dance on the stage at the start of the deck.

Kat wished Alejandro had come. Hearing the song might've lifted his spirits and even urged him to dance with her. But she was instead alone and partner-less. Kat looked around the crowd, finally taking in how overwhelmingly white it was. It was the first time she'd seen so many white people in one place in almost a year. It was the first time she'd really noticed their absence. Coming from Manhattan, she was surprised she hadn't realized sooner. She pursed her lips as she mentally hypothesized how they'd spend their vacations; either on the resort or visiting resort recommended sights. Spending a destination vacation that way could leave you missing out on the true character of the Argentina. They were only receiving the commercialized version of a beautiful country.

They wouldn't know anything about El Cuarteto either, so she'd never find a partner among them. She rested her hip against the bar that'd become her best friend, and sang the lyrics to the song nonchalantly. She assessed the crowd further out of boredom.

Most people were sitting in the dining chairs, conversing with one another as the music played in the background. The staff looked bored, ready for their shifts to be over and wondering when people would stop wanting food. Kat looked down into her glass and noticed it was nearing empty. She looked up to capture the bartender's attention just to see her already holding another drink toward her.

Kat smiled. She was a short young woman, just barely reaching above the counter. Despite her size, she was maneuvering around the bar with purpose and ensuring everyone got their drinks without a long wait.

"Thank you, beautiful. You're making this night significantly more enjoyable" Kat lifted her drink in her direction before she took a big gulp. She folded her unoccupied arm beneath the one holding the drink, propping it up closer to her lips.