Life with Rose

I hadn't been working at the coffee store for more than a month. It didn't pay much. But I wasn't working there for the money. It was located in the heart of Hollywood. I had always been starstruck. And, like all other movie and television fans, I had my favorites. But there was one in particular. One about whom I was more passionate than you could ever imagine. My dream was to one day meet her, perhaps even speak to her. Then my life would be complete. If I was ever going to bump into her, I thought this would be the place.

I hadn't worked up to barista yet, although our two-week training had included how to make all the drinks. The women managers had me bussing tables and sweeping the floor, getting supplies and washing the windows. They seemed to enjoy the public contact and making the drinks. I didn't mind. It was all the same to me.

During my first month at the coffee store I had seen Charlie Sheen (I would rather have seen Denise Richards), Mariska Hargitay and Anne Heche. Not bad for my first month, I thought. But I still was waiting to see Her, My Goddess.

One Thursday, about eleven in the morning, I was sweeping the floor, right in front of the entrance. I was about to go outside and sweep outside, in front of the door, when a jogger turned from the sidewalk and walked through the threshold and into the store. She was wearing a hoody that was spotted under the arms and down the front from the neck to the midriff. It was hot and she had obviously been running for some time. I couldn't see who it was because of the hood, but, when she approached the order desk she pulled the hood off her head to reveal matted, wet and absolutely gorgeous jet black hair my heart began to palpitate in anticipation of the possibility. But I didn't dare expect it or even want it, thinking it would jinx the whole thing. I couldn't be sure until I heard her speak.

"I'd like a double chai capuccino, please."

Oh, My God! I'd recognize that amazing voice anywhere. It was My Goddess. She was in my store, standing about four feet away from me. I was dumbfounded and immobile. All I could do was slowly approach her from behind, trying to get a smell of her and a look at her adorable face. Just as I came within a foot of her, she suddenly turned around and looked straight into my eyes, scaring me. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. Her skin was pale and clear, her eyes were bright and blue, her lips, even without lipstick were pink and full. Her forehead and neck were covered with perspiration. I could only imagine what the rest of her body must have tasted or looked like, as I had imagined thousands of times before. It really was My Goddess, Rose McGowan.

"Hi," she brightly said, smiling at me and destroying me with her charm and grace.

"Hi," I said. "Did you order a chai cappuccino?"

"Yes, why?" Rose said.

"I can't imagine those being any good. Are they?" is all I could muster.

"You get used to them. They're not really that good, but they're all I can allow myself to have. I've constantly got to watch my weight," said the goddess.

I had controlled myself and acted normal as long as I could. I couldn't refrain from being a freak any longer. "I'm beyond a huge fan of yours, Miss McGowan. I've adored you for as long as I can remember. I'm just catatonic right now. Please forgive me for saying anything inappropriate. I probably can't help myself."

Rose laughed and looked so amazingly beautiful in doing so. She gave me a sideways grin and tilted her head a bit before saying to me, "I think you're handling it all quite well. I'm impressed."

Shit! She was flirting with me! Rose McGowan, a total and ultimate babe who could have any man on the planet in any way she chose was flirting with me! But it wasn't a romantic type of flirting. It was more of a "You're cute when you're adoring me -- keep it up!" kind of flirting.

"I.....I.... I'm sorry, Ma'am. It's just that I've dreamed of this day for so long. I don't really know what to say. I'm so confused and amazed. You're such a huge part of my life. It's not fair to you. I'm so very sorry."

Rose looked at me with pity and with amusement. Kind of the way a cat looks at a ball of yarn. Finally she said, "I'm used to it. I have a pretty serious effect on a lot of guys. And some women, too. Do you believe that?"

"Oh, yes. I sure do. I can barely stand to look at you." We both smiled and giggled a little.

"Could you stand to sit with me while I drink this cappucino?" Rose asked.

"Yes, I'll try," I said to her.

She led me to one of the tables. It was the one in the far back corner of the store. We sat while she sipped her cappucino.

"So, what's your name, Honey?" she asked me.

She was so poised and accustomed to interacting with admirers. The "Honey" almost made me a puddle on the floor, but I managed to answer her. "It's Jeff, Miss McGowan."

I think I like it best when you call me "Ma'am". Is that OK, Jeff?" asked Rose.

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you," I replied.

"So, Jeff, I'm interested in this fascination you have with me. Would you mind telling me about it?" She was toying with me, fishing for compliments and adoration. I didn't mind. I had been waiting to be her catnip for so long.

"Well....of course you're beautiful. But that's not all of it. You have something, some quality, which makes me want to make you happy. I don't know what it is. A command, a presence, an air about you, a strength. That's what it is, I guess. An emotional strength. Of course, since I don't know you, it's just my imagination. I imagine you're strong. And demanding. And I love that about you. I need to be around someone who is strong. I'm not strong myself often enough. I'm more of a follower than a leader. Especially when it comes to you, Ma'am." I caught myself blushing.

Rose pondered this for a little while, then said, "So you want me to take charge of you, is that it, Jeff?"

I was afraid to answer. If I said, "No", nothing I had previously said would make any sense. If I said, "Yes", she would think I'm some kind of freak -a pussywhipped, submissive slave to my feelings for her. In the nanosecond I had to decide which to answer, I decided the truth was better than a lie. "Yes, Ma'am," I blurted out. I was afraid to look at her. I was afraid she would be sneering, or getting up to walk away. After all, what breathtaking woman would want to be with a man who didn't have the backbone to stand up to her, or to even attempt to be on equal footing with her?

"Look at me," she commanded. I lifted my face to see her smiling at me and her eyes actually dancing. "Do you think you're the first pussyboy to beg me to tell him what to do?"

I was speechless. Finally she said, "This is your last chance to answer me or I'm gone, bitch."

"N.N.N.No, Ma'am. I mean.....I imagine you have many men approach you in many ways. I'm not trying to approach you, Ma'am. I know I don't deserve to spend time with you. Forgive me, please."

Rose smirked. But I could tell she was happy. "You're right. Lots of guys feed me lines of all kinds. Some of them tell me they'd do anything for me. That covers a lot of territory. I have a great imagination and can be a real ball-buster when I want to be. But almost all of them think they're going to find a way to fuck me. That's what they want. Is that what you want, Jeffie?"

"Oh, My God, no!" I said to her. "I would never presume to be someone who would be capable of satisfying you that way. I'm not man enough or confidant enough to even try."

Now she laughed. "At least you know your place. And I believe you, unlike most men. I really do think you're a pathetic pussy who loves me and worships me as his supreme goddess. Am I right, Baby?"

I would have told her I was the Pillsbury Dough Boy if that's what she wanted me to be. "Yes, Ma'am. I am that man. Definitely. You're all I ever think about. Especially when I'm alone."

"That sounds dirty. Is it, Jeff? Do you have dirty thoughts about me? About my body?" asked Rose.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I can't help myself." My eyes started to tear up. I was so afraid of losing her.

"Don't worry so much. I can understand why you have those thoughts. I'm going to give you a break. Maybe I'll tell you why later. Maybe I won't. Come to my house tonight at midnight. Get me a pen and paper and I'll write the address down for you."

The next thirteen hours were a blur to me. I didn't know if I was coming or going, or where I was or what I was doing. I only knew that at midnight I would be with My Goddess. Hopefully, I could do something wonderful for her.

I rang Rose's doorbell at 11:59 PM. Surprisingly, she answered the door. "Get in here," she commanded. "I've given the help the night off. I'm not sure I ever want you to be seen by people who work for me. They might lose respect for me."

My Goddess looked stunning. She was wearing a champagne-colored silk camisole with spaghetti straps. It was cut low enough that her deep cleavage held my eyes in place. Her breasts were hanging loose inside and her nipples brushed the fabric to occasionally poke through to be seen. Her short pleated skirt was half off, hanging down on one side and up on the other. She was wearing strappy black, pointy heels of about five-inches' height. I could tell she had been drinking and was a little tipsy, but still in complete control of the situation. As I walked into a huge parlor, I saw a rather large man standing in the middle of the room, holding a martini glass. "Toby, this is Jeff, the sissy I told you about. He's here for a tryout. He wants to be my slave. What do you think of that?"

Toby scrambled for words, I could tell. "I don't blame him, Rose. Any man would want to spend time with you, no matter what his role would be." I could tell Rose liked Toby's answer.

"Toby just got done fucking me with his huge cock," Rose announced. "He's really quite a man. He's ten times the man you are, I'm sure. I haven't seen what you've got yet. But no man with an adequate cock could be as pathetic as you, could he?. Am I right, Jeffiebitch?" Rose was smiling as she was taunting me.

"Of course you're right, Mistress Rose. I think I'm just lucky to be on the same planet as you, Ma'am, and that you should fuck whoever makes you happy," I said.

Rose's expression turned sour and she walked up to me and slapped me so hard across the face that I almost fell over. "In this house you will always be on your knees unless I tell you otherwise. Your face must always be lower than my waist. And you will refer to me as 'Goddess Rose', not 'Ma'am'. Do you understand, slut?"

I quickly dropped to my knees and looked up at her and stammered, "Yes, Goddess Rose. I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me."

"Fuck, no, I won't forgive you. You're a shiteating faggot and I hate you, you asshole. You don't know your place, that's your problem. You are so far below us you can't know how sick it makes us to be in the same room as you. Isn't that right, Toby?"

"That's right, Darling," said Toby. "He is total shit."

Rose giggled and caught her balance on a white couch as she was falling to the ground.

"Now get the fuck out of here," she said to Toby. "I have a lot of training to do."

As soon as Toby left, Rose appeared to warm up to me. "Get me another drink. And stay on your knees or I'll really hurt you. I mean REALLY hurt you. Oh, I forgot. Would you like a drink?"

"If it would please you to see me drinking, yes, I definitely would enjoy a drink," I offered.

"Sure, why not?" she said. She was holding her old drink in her hand. I could see that it had only about a half-inch of scotch and water left in it. Rose then snorted up some phlegm and spit it into the glass. "Here, you'll love this," she said, giggling.

"Yes, Goddess Rose. Thank you so much.," I stammered, taking a large gulp of the mixture in the glass. . I crawled over to the bar and saw that the scotch bottle was open. I hoped it had been Rose who drank scotch and not just Toby. It was difficult to use the tongs while on my knees, but somehow I managed to lift some ice cubes into a clean glass and pour some scotch over them. I crawled back to Rose's feet and offered the drink to her.

Rose accepted the drink and sat down on the couch, with her legs crossed and heels pointing right at me. "Take off your clothes," she ordered. I obeyed, although it was not easy to take my pants off and stay on my knees. I slid them off, revealing that I was wearing panties.

"What the fuck are those, Darling?" asked My Goddess. "They're little girls' panties, Goddess Rose. I usually wear them. I hope it's OK with you."

Rose laughed for quite a long time. I loved hearing her laugh. I loved listening to her being so happy. "Fuck. You are quite a trip, Jeffie. For your information, when you are in my house you will wear only panties. But they will be my panties. Ones I've worn recently and haven't cleaned. From now on there will no other women for you. Not even fantasies about other women. I am your entire life - at least your entire female life. Do you understand, faggot?"

"Yes, Goddess Rose. I understand and am honored that you would let the same cloth touch me that has touched you. Where will I find these precious panties?"

"They will be upstairs in the clothes hamper in my bedroom closet. You may walk upstairs now, find a pair and put them on, then come back down here and kneel at my feet. Oh, I want to see you finish your drink first."

I gulped down every drop of liquid in the glass. "Was it good, Honey?" My Goddess asked.

"Delicious, Goddess Rose. Thank you so much."

With that I crawled over to the staircase and stood up so I could climb the stairs to the bedroom.

When I came back downstairs wearing a pair of Rose's panties, she was sitting on the couch in the same position as when I left her -- legs crossed. And she was smoking a cigarette. I dropped to my knees when I left the staircase and crawled over to position myself at her feet.

"Cute," is all Rose said when she saw me wearing her panties. "Do you like wearing my clothes, Honey?"

"I love wearing your clothes, Goddess Rose, I replied. "It makes me feel close to you."

"In your dreams, Baby. Ha Ha. You men are all alike, aren't you?"

"Yes, Goddess Rose. When it comes to our feelings for you, I guess we are."

"You really love me, don't you?' Rose asked.

"Yes, Goddess Rose. I really do love you. I love everything about you," I admitted.

"So you're pussywhipped. Is that it?"

"Yes, Goddess Rose. I certainly am pussywhipped. But it's more than that. I'm addicted to you -- to the sight of you, to the taste and smell of you."

"You poor bitch. You're never getting any of this, you know. You'll have to content yourself with the feel of my foot, or the smell of my panties, or the taste of my sweat. Only guys like Toby will ever feel the wetness of my cunt or the caress of my lips. Does that bother you?"

"I'm happy if you're happy, Goddess Rose. The small treats you give me are enough to make my life worth living. I could never hope to give you the pleasure other men can give you," I admitted.

"Then why do I keep you around? Why do I toy with you?" asked Rose.

"I don't know, Goddess Rose. I'm not smart enough to figure that out. I only know I'm so grateful that you do."

"You need to know why I spend any time with you at all, Jeffie," said Rose. "It's important." Now she was being serious.

"OK, Goddess Rose. I'd love you to tell me," I said.

"Even though I'm beautiful and smart and could have about anything I wanted, sexually or otherwise, I'm a little insecure. I need someone around who I know craves me, loves me, wants me, unconditionally and even in the face of great pain and cruelty. Someone who is so pussywhipped that he'd do anything, just to get me to acknowledge his existence. I want to be worshipped and adored, no matter what I do to you or how I treat you. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Goddess Rose. I live to worship and serve you." It was the truth and I wasn't afraid to admit it.

"Good, now lay on your back and put one foot on either side of me, resting on the couch," Rose instructed.

I did as Rose instructed. I was opening my legs in front of her so my panties and cock were directly in front of her and her dangling foot. She was staring at my crotch and my cock, whose tip was protruding above the top of her panties.

"Why are you so hard, little boy? Have you been touching yourself?" Rose asked.

"No, Goddess Rose. I haven't been. I would think I'd need your permission to do that. I'm hard because I'm near you and I'm wearing your precious panties. They feel so good to me," I honestly answered.

Rose smirked, put one foot on the floor, stood up and placed the other shoe's toe directly on the head of my cock and her heel directly on my balls. Then she shifted her weight so she was pushing on my balls with her heel, digging it into my sac.

"Do you like it when I touch you, faggot?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, Goddess Rose." It was difficult to make sentences because the pain was excruciating. "I can't believe you're touching me. My Goddess is touching me!"

Rose giggled a bit as the ash from her cigarette landed on my face. She began to rock her foot back-and-forth, putting her weight first on my cock, then on my balls. I couldn't help but groan and gasp in pain.

"I thought you liked that, bitch. Do you want me to stop?" asked Rose.

"No, Goddess Rose. Please don't stop. Ever. I'm begging you. Please," I said, knowing it would amuse her.

Then, keeping her one foot on my crotch, she lifted the other one and started walking on my chest. Except she stopped when her heel reached my nipple. She dug it in. I have no idea how she was able to keep her balance, but she did, although her ashes continued to find their way onto me and she spilled a little scotch on me.

"So, fucker, am I stronger than you?" she asked. "Are you going to thank me for that nice little boner I've given you?"

She continued tormenting me and soliciting rhetorical answers from me for several minutes. When she got tired of toying with me she announced it was time for bed. I didn't exactly know what she meant by that, but I wasn't even thinking of getting lucky - at least not in the traditional way.

She walked up the stairs, taking her clothes off and leaving them laying on the stairwell as she went. I followed closely behind her, enjoying the heavenly view. When we arrived at the top of the stairs, she was wearing only panties and high heels. It's ironic that she was wearing that attire, since it's what she later insisted I wear when I cleaned her house. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The sight of her standing over me, with her nipples pointing straight up to the heavens and her eyes looking straight down at me with ridicule and disgust, her jet black hair, alabaster face and blood red lips......it was the singular greatest moment of my life.

"I'm going to bed now. You may sleep on the floor at the foot of my bed. If you need covers or a pillow, use some of the clothes from my hamper. There will be NO CUMMING without my permission. Is that understood?" Rose wasn't willing to relinquish control, not even while she was sleeping.

"Yes, Goddess Rose. Thank you," I muttered. With that she kicked off her shoes and crawled under her covers and turned out the light next to her bed.

As I lay there in the dark, listening to my goddess breathing and, eventually snoring, I took stock of my position relative to the one I was in at this time a day earlier.

I had been alone, as usual, in my apartment, in bed, thinking about how beautiful Rose was and wishing I could be near her. I had an erection and was touching it, hoping to relieve myself so I could go to sleep. Now, twenty-four hours later, I was sleeping next to Rose (kind of), wearing her panties, with an erection. But I wasn't allowed to touch it or achieve release. But tonight I had fresh and vivid memories of the amazing beauty of her body, her cruelty, her knowledge of my shortcomings as a man and a future filled with hope that she would continue to let me amuse, serve and worship her. I think I was now better off than before, don't you?