tagHumor & SatireLights... Ghost... Action!

Lights... Ghost... Action!


Brooke laughed as I toppled her onto her back. The bed gave a satisfying *flumph*, her hair pillowed out beneath her, and her legs settled on either side of mine.

"And what do you propose we do now?" I asked.

"Oh... I don't know," she replied innocently, staring off across the room and just as innocently raised the bottom of her shirt up over her tits, revealing them in all their jiggly glory concealed beneath their lacy black bra.

Grinning, I placed my hands on her bare midriff and gently massaged it, enjoying the feel of her skin beneath my palms.

"Do you really think this place is haunted?" I asked, peeling the bra away from her nipples.

"Sure," she enthusiastically assured me, watching intently as my fingertips teased her little brown buds into stiffness. "Have I ever been wrong before?"

I raised an eyebrow, wondering for a moment if she really wanted me to answer that.

"Not about the romantic ones," she quickly declared, reading my mind. "I'm never wrong about the romantic ones."

"This isn't perhaps just an excuse to have a vacation is it? Like the time you wanted me to be more vegetarian and eat healthy and all that, so you tried to convince me that my burgers were being poisoned by a beef demon." (She still called them ecto-meat.) I amused myself by pinching and tugging on her nipples.

"I can't believe you're still hanging onto that," she said.

"And what would you do with a ghost if you caught one?"

"I'd catch him in my ghost trap," she replied, yanking her shirt down over my hands. "Trust me," she continued in a more matter-of-factly tone, "there is a ghost, and we will see him. He died here after eloping with his lover, and he shows up every now and then when couples rent the room, especially around the anniversary of his death."

"Which is when?"

"Guess," she offered, smugly. "Actually, not tonight, but in three days. That gives us at least four days to see him, maybe more."

"And guess what," she demanded, grinning impishly.


"Since he only shows at night, that means we have hours all to ourselves."

Now, who could argue with that? Grinning, I slipped my hands down to her waistband and peeled her jeans open, then started to work them down over her hips. Raising her legs in the air, the denim was quickly stripped off her along with the panties beneath them. Tossing them aside, I leaned over her for a kiss then helped Brooke struggle out of the rest of her clothes. As she flopped back down, my clothes quickly joined hers on the floor. Giving her a lusty smile I returned to my kissing and caressing. I worked my way down her body, nuzzling, licking and sucking every part of her I passed. From her lips I travelled over her neck and across her collarbone, letting my tongue dabble in the hollow of her throat. Brooke squirmed impatiently beneath me, enjoying the slow foreplay. Down over the swell of her tits, I paid loving attention to each dusky nipple, sucking and teasing them with my teeth, drawing sharp intakes of breath from her. From there down over her belly, gently skirting her pussy in it's manicured little bed of dark curls, and along the inside of a thigh, but not without pausing to send a warm breath skirting across it, drawing a moan and a hot shiver. My fingers busied themselves with light caresses on her other thigh.

"Oh, that's heavenly baby," she purred, trying to keep still enough to enjoy it. "I want to fuck," she declared with a whimper. Her hands drifted away from clenching the sheets to massage her chest with needy fingers.

I didn't grant her request. I sucked my way up her inner thigh back to her sweet pussy again. I sent another warm breath across it then curled my tongue up it's length, licking up some of the thick juice that slowly trickled from her. Parting the dark, swollen lips I pressed my tongue as deeply into the pink flesh they hid as it would go. Her breath heavy, hands clutching at my hair, Brooke writhed as I got down to business at last. It was only moments before I felt her hips shake. I'd have grinned to myself, but I was having too much fun. As my fingers joined my tongue it wasn't hard to keep her riding high.

"That's it, that's it," a voice suddenly blurted just as Brooke actually squealed, her legs tensing and her fingers gripping my head in a death-lock, "perfect... now slide up her body and put that dick to her lips. Oh, this is marvellous I tell ya. What a contrast, dark and light, beautiful, beautiful."

Needless to say, this didn't exactly do much for the erotic mood. It scared the hell out of us. I don't know about Brooke, but I half expected to find the middle-aged couple that ran the place were a lot kinkier than I took them for. I wished I'd remembered to put the 'do not disturb' sign on the door. Both our heads whipped around and I almost fell on my ass right off the bed I sat up so fast. There was a man sitting in one of the room's chairs. He was pale, or rather, practically transparent, and seemed to be dressed in shorts, sandals, a golf shirt and sunglasses.

"Cut! Cut!" he screamed. "What is the matter here, people?" he asked with a hint of irritation. "We're trying to shoot a scene here."

"Are you... " I started to ask, not believing my eyes.

"It's the ghost!" Brooke declared, with marvellous timing putting words to the obvious.

"I thought you died romantically," she said, wide-eyed but suspicious, "after eloping with your girlfriend."

I scrambled for the video camera. In all the supposedly haunted places we'd been we'd seen fleeting glimpses, or heard noises, or felt cold chills, but never anything like this; not even close. The ghost watched me out of the corner of his eye as I fumbled with the gear.

"I did," he said, "if you consider a heart attack romantic. And I did elope, I had to. Her parents didn't exactly take to me you might say. I was handy with a camera. I mostly did glam shots... modelling work you know? But I did do some adult work. It made better money, quicker money. Katie was a model and an aspiring actress. It was a match made in heaven. God she was beautiful. What a personality. She could have been a bag lady and still been beautiful she had that kind of personality."

I kind of doubted it, but his love for her was pretty obvious. I was touched, really. I kept my eye glued to the camera. He watched me out of the corner of his eye but went on telling his story.

"It wasn't so much her looks, but just her that attracted me to her, you know what I mean? There's a lot of gorgeous women in this biz, but they're not so pretty inside, you know? She was different," he continued. "Anyway, our plan was to do one last flick and then use the money to buy a little place, a lot like this one, settle down, and maybe just do pin-up stuff, turn everything around." He gave a sad sigh. "I didn't really do any of the hardcore stuff with her, a few times, but it was basically just private stuff for us. Her folks didn't know about the hard stuff, but they saw enough of the nudes that they didn't want her to have anything to do with me, surprised? Her dad said I wasn't an artist, I was a sleaze who couldn't succeed at anything more mainstream and never finished anything I started, which is why I never got anywhere. It really burned my ass, maybe it hit a nerve, whatever. Anyway, Katie always stuck by me, and just as we were going to change everything we never got the chance."

Despite everything, he struck a truly pathetic figure.

"But, why are you still here?" Brooke asked. "Why didn't you go to the afterlife? And what is in the afterlife?"

"Don't know, never been there," he replied. "And there's no way I'm going anywhere until I finish that one last film. I promised her I'd do that one more before I quit, and I'm not going to prove her father right, that I can't finish anything, can't keep a promise. I may not have Katie here anymore to film it with, but I have to keep trying, to make her proud of me. So... when people stay here, now and then I give it a shot... I've tried insinuating myself into their home videos as documentary tours, appearing to them to ask them to film me doing a last little bit of prose (they just scream and run away), even tried a little polter-hardcore when a cute lady stays here, but nothing seems to work. You may as well knock that off," he said, looking at me, "I don't show up on film, not even my voice. I know, I've tried, and tried... and tried."

Somehow, I wasn't surprised, crushed yes, surprised no.

"But we do," Brooke said, her eyes spacy with inspiration.

Two male heads turned towards her and asked "What?"

"Well, we've got to help him," she insisted, while I stared at my camera, perplexed. "We can't just leave him like this, stuck wandering the earth for no reason, when all he needs is two people and a camera."

"Are you sure?" I asked her, a bit uncertainly. I mean, the closest we'd come to doing it in front of a stranger was that time in the back yard when next door's babysitter came over to ask if she could use the pool just as Brooke was giving me a lap dance of the most intimate kind. All I can say is it was forunate she hadn't taken her suit off and I had a towel at hand to help me make a discreet exit the moment the opportunity presented. I still wonder if Lisa noticed my suit laying beside the lounger.

"Chicken?" she challenged, raising an eyebrow.

I looked from Brooke to the ghost and started to put the camera down.

"Just set it anywhere," he directed, "I'll take care of the rest. Man, you guys are just super wonderful. I wish they were all like you," he said as I did as he asked and, giving Brooke a look, stepped up to the edge of the bed.

I looked down into her eyes. "You are amazing," I told her. "And this is absolutely unbelievable," I added, watching the ghost set up the camera to his liking.

"All right, all right, enough chatter people. Positions. You, you, what's your name, stud, you take the same position as when I got here; you too, babe," he directed, levelling the glass eye at us.

And so I found myself once more on my belly between my lover's thighs. I glanced up at her with a lascivious smile still half wondering why I let her talk me into this. She was smiling and her breath was already a bit ragged with excitement. It nagged at me that she probably knew that the babysitter'd seen us, and that Lisa probably knew exactly what we'd been doing and had probably been standing there a lot longer than I knew, and that Brooke thought it was funny as hell. I made a mental note to chastise the kinky little devil for it later. Dipping my chin, I parted the dusky brown lips and slipped my tongue into her pussy, fluttering, pressing and teasing. I eased just the tip of my finger into her and wiggled it in tiny circles. I felt her body shudder and I quickly put my tongue into over-drive. My tongue flew up and down the length of her slit, up and over her clit and back while my finger kept rubbing and toying with her. Brooke threw her head back into the bed and let herself go. Her fingers clutched the sheets and strangled gasps escaped her as hot shivers raced through her and squeezed her pussy. For a few moments she just lay there and savoured the sensations. And then she slowly opened her eyes again and smiled down at me as she caught her breath.

"Mmm, give me that dick," Brooke purred, sitting up and giving me a wicked grin.

She wrapped her hands around it and licked her lower lip. With another purr, lover girl leaned forward and pressed her lips to the head of my cock in a hot kiss. The softness of her lips was heavenly and I sighed. My sigh deepened to a lusty moan as those soft lips parted and she took my dick into her mouth. Closing my eyes, I just enjoyed the pleasure she was giving me. My fingers strayed through her long, curly hair loving it's silkiness.

"Beautiful, beautiful," a voice interrupted, "now brush her hair back out of the shot."

My eyes snapped open as the moment was shattered like glass under a boot heel and I gasped in surprise. I'd totally forgotten we weren't alone. Brooke nearly gagged in an effort to keep from bursting into laughter and I could feel her giggles run through my body as she kept sucking. She glanced up at me and I saw her eyes were practically shining with delighted mischief. I tried to keep my patience and still couldn't believe I'd let myself be talked into this. The feel of her mouth and the twinkle in her eyes reminded me why I did. I let out a sigh of resignation and stroked Brooke's hair back past her shoulder. Trying to forget mr. porn director, I looked down at my lover. Her big, brown eyes were turned back to what she was doing, and what she was doing soon made me forget everything but her all over again. The pulling of her cheeks, the humid caresses of her tongue were heaven. her fingers wandered over my thighs, tickled my balls, and stroked my shaft. My breath grew deep and hot, wet pleasure rippled through me. I was enjoying it so much I think Brooke sensed that another minute or two of this would be all I could take. I like to feel I have pretty good stamina, but sometimes she makes me forget myself and just let myself go. Lifting her head, and giving me a devilish grin, she reached up and pushed me onto my back, quickly straddling me with a playful growl as I hit the sheets.

"Beautiful, beautiful, the girl's a natural," declared a voice I studiously ignored to the best of my ability.

"You're mine," she assured me, looking like the cat that caught the goldfish. She didn't even seem to notice the ghost. I hadn't known she was such an exhibitionist.

I guess I was more of one than I admitted too, because I sure didn't let the interruptions distract me from Brooke. My palms glided over her thighs, working their way up to her hips and back. Her skin was like silk. My hands travelled up her sides, sending warm shivers through her. She was sliding her wet pussy back and forth along the length of my cock, looking down at me, squeezing my chest. Her breath was quick and needy. I made a mental note to make out in haunted houses more often. Taking her tits in hand, I massaged them firmly, enjoying the softness of them, such a contrast to the hardness of mine. I ran my palms over her nipples. And then Brooke bent her head to kiss me. Holding her close, the kiss grew long and deep. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my camera drifting in ghostly hands alongside us and disappear behind her. Brooke giggled. She hadn't seen it, but knew something was going on and was getting a real kick out of the look on my face. She damn soon had my undivided attention again.

She sat up again and reached down between us, took hold of my cock and rubbed it's head between the lips of her pussy. They were warm and damp, clinging to me eagerly. Settling back, she eased down onto me. We both made happy sounds as her body engulfed me. Brooke smiled at me and shifted her knees, planted her hands more firmly on my chest and started to bounce back and forth along my belly. She impaled herself on me quick and hard, driven with need. Her breath was heavy in her chest, and her skin was soon covered with a light sheen. To my surprise, it was Brooke, not me, that came first. Shudders tumbled through her. Eyes closed, cute little sounds escaped her and her palms pressed hard against my chest. I bucked my hips up against her as though cumming while her orgasm spilled through her, feeling her body squeeze me. As she caught her breath, her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at me. I pumped up into her fast and furious, chasing my own pleasure. Heaven!

"Okay, now put her on her back without breaking contact," came a voice from somewhere near my ear.

I looked up and saw my camera practically right over my forehead.

"Cripes!" I shouted when I managed to swallow my heart. "I was really getting into this."

"Yeah, yeah, she's great isn't she?" he agreed over Brooke's laughter. "Need I remind you who is the director here? Now move your ass, stud, you're wrecking the scene!"

Geez, he didn't need to get cranky about it. I mean, I was the one doing him a favour, not the other way around. I looked at the uncontained mirth on my lover's face and somehow knew she wasn't going to be much help.

"Ha, ha," I taunted, which earned me an "Oh, yeah?" look right back.

Sitting up, I shifted Brooke onto her back and slid her ankles up onto my shoulders as I positioned myself. I stuck my tongue out at her. She made a grab for it. I ended the battle by starting to move, thrusting into her in slow, circular motions, sliding my cock into her faster and harder as our blood started to boil again until my hips were practically pounding into hers with loud, wet slaps. Brooke held my arms in a death grip. Both of us gasping, I didn't know about Brooke, but I knew I couldn't hold back any longer. Her body clutched and pulled at me and my face burned with the slamming of my pulse. All my muscles began to knot.

"Pull out! Pull out!" a voice shouted. "We've got to get the money shot!"

He had to be kidding! Brooke quickly reached up and pushed me. I don't know how, but somehow I sat up and withdrew just in time, my cock sending cum splattering across her belly in long, wild strings of thick goo which settled in white puddles that were no doubt artistic against the light brown of her skin. I sat there momentarily stunned, trying to catch my breath.

"Cut! And print! That's a wrap!" the spectral voice declared. "Fabulous work, people, fabulous."

I didn't even notice him anymore. I looked down at my lover and smiled weakly. Her eyes were heavy-lidded, deep, and dark, and shiny. She gave me a grin. I bent down to kiss her.

"This, I think I can live with," the ghost attested. "It could use a little editing, but... (he made an 'ehhh' sound) hot, hot, hot."

I stared into her eyes. Brooke rubbed her ankles over the backs of my thighs tenderly. I think she will never cease to amaze me with what she gets us into next.

"You were terrific, my dear," the ghost said, leaning his head close to us. He took her hand and kissed it. "A real pleasure. Your boyfriend could use a little work."

"I'll see what I can do," she promised in a lusty murmur.

"Adieu," he said, and then he was gone. You could just feel it; the room seemed empty except for the two of us.

We'd have to watch that tape some time. I kissed her again.

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