Lioness of the Desert

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Lovers find freedom in the wilderness where surprises await.
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One fine morning Juan rings the bell to wake me for breakfast. He begins eating and says, "Damn Rosie, you sure had a good idea to move us here. We should move out to the mountains, grow rhubarb and live off the fat of the land."

I say, "There you go dreaming again. I don't have a green thumb. And we're too citified to garden. We'd end up panhandling."

He says, "My grandpa was a sharecropper. It runs in the blood. We can learn farming."

I say, "Honey you're no farmer. But if you want we can grow some herbs on the balcony. That'll be your crop."

"Maybe we can grow some tomatoes too. We can harvest them and make salads."

I say, "Knowing those red juicies were grown by you would make them very delicious."

We are silent for a moment. He breaks the silence and asks, "Let's get out of the city for a while. We need fresh air and quiet."

I say, "We sure do. Everyone has an angle here."

Juan asks me, "What gave you the notion to relocate us out here? I mean don't you miss the greenery back home? This place is beautiful but it takes some getting used to for a southern boy."

"Aw shucks honey I guess I just wanted a change of scenery. I figured it would do us both good. The south was a been there, done that. So I decided that I had to change not only my head, but my geography."

He says, "Was our old clunker stuck in the mud?"

I say, "Aw no honey. I tell you, I was getting kind of batty. My fantasy life was out of control."

He says, "What was running through your head?"

I say, "Sometimes I hate all men for the pain they have caused me. I feel like draining them of their energy and leaving them an empty husk. I want to emasculate them."

He says, "I'm not afraid of you Rosie. I know the light in your heart will overcome the darkness. I see compassion in your eyes. I love you."

"I'm no more feisty than a kitty cat. I may nip at you sometimes but that just makes me sexier."

"I love your dark side. Now what's for dessert?"

"Boy you have a one track mind."

While dining he breaks some news for me. He says, "Rosie, I want to take you out into the deep desert. Maybe we'll see some sandworms like in the Dune books."

I say, "You're so crazy. But truly we could come home and find our balcony egged or draped in toilet paper. The signs ain't good darling."

"Oh come on. The kids here are good eggs. They won't do such things."

"Well OK. But I warned you." I get up, take our dishes, put them in the sink, and wash them.

The next morning, he drives me in his convertible with the top pulled down and the wind rushing over my ears. We drive north then west to Abique. We pass over a dam by a clear blue lake and onto the side of a barren red pyramid-shaped mountain, a thousand feet tall. The red color of the mountain is so rich and vivid that it seems to glow in the afternoon desert light.

After we pass through fantastical red rock canyons and knife edged mountains we pass into the Bisti badlands whose gray rounded hills and strange contorted black rocks resemble a moonscape. I have never seen such magnificent desolation in all my life.

At Nageezi we head south on a washboard dirt road. The car shakes so badly that it feels like it will fall apart. We travel deeper and deeper into the brown empty rolling desert land. A vast panorama stretches out ahead of us and I begin to notice the walls of a canyon on the distant horizon. We pass Navajo Hogans and herds of sheep roaming the wilderness.

We enter Chaco Canyon. The yellow canyon walls look like they are about two to three hundred feet tall and are spread apart by a few miles. A huge jagged mesa stands behind us to the left towering over the yellow desert sandy plain. We follow the narrow asphalt park road through the canyon past Pueblo Bonito whose huge walls stand in silent witness to the ancient ones.

We park where the road curves back in a circle. We get out our backpacks with the blankets, food, and other supplies to help us survive the merciless wilderness. He carries one pack and I another as we walk silently across the parched land into the wilderness. We follow an ancient Anasazi trail for hours till the sun is low on the horizon. Finally we come to a ruin whose brick stone walls stand on a rise in the desert.

We walk through a gap in the wall and into the Kiva. It is a hole dug out of the earth and lined with stone bricks which stick up above the floor of the ruin. We spread our blankets on the dusty floor. We are covered in shadows from the ruin walls as the sun sinks below the horizon. I hear coyotes howl mournfully in the distance.

Soon we are immersed in pitch-black darkness. The stars shine like millions of candles in the velvet black bowl of the night sky. I ask Juan, "Are you afraid?"

He says, "No more than normal."

We undress and wrap the wool blankets around us to keep warm with each other's bodies in the cold desert night. He sprawls on his stomach with his leg on top of me. My heart pumps fast and I drip with sweat.

He asks, "Are you going to seduce me with black magic?"

I reach over; put my finger to his lips and say, "Of course."

I say, "You know with your high cholesterol and atrocious diet you are a prime candidate for a heart attack. I could fuck you to death."

He laughs and says, "What better way to join the choir invisible?"

I feel him rise to the occasion against my hip. I say, "That's not funny. Hey does that idea turn you on?"

He looks up at me. He says, "Don't worry. My heart is as strong as an ox."

I beam my lipstick smile upon him. I say, "Well your physician said you can have sex. So who am I to dispute a board certified doctor?"

I flip him over and spring upon him like a frog, tackling his source of strength. I bow down between his legs, prostrate like a Buddhist monk in prayer, with my tush in the air and my lips playing ring around the rosy on his maypole. I use a jaded twist suck of my mouth and a hand slide on his dick. My tongue teases the fuck out of that gspot on the underside of the head like so. All the while I fondle his balls.

His first drop of pollen, a foretaste, is savored like honeysuckle nectar upon my psychedelic tongue. I lift my face gazing up at him with a wicked grin. I know my lips glisten with his nectar in the lantern light. My appetite has been whetted and I am hungry for more.

Then I mount my dragon man. My velvet cleft swirls in a butterfly kaleidoscope. The communal being of my cellular heaven coalesces in my clitoral star.

Coyotes howl across the desert. The moon shines high above us and illuminates our nocturnal fornication. I look down at his face. The soft smooth roundness of his cheeks and the look of innocence in his eyes make him look childlike in the moonlight.

He closes his eyes and appears as though in a trance. He has the same look on his face as the face of the Buddha, sitting under the Bodhi tree, just before achieving enlightenment which I'd seen in a Nepalese painting.

I raise my upper body and scrape his breast with my nails, leaving red streaks. He breathes hard and fast now.

The intensity of the sex is almost hallucinogenic. Something about these wild places brings out a primal force in me. I have left my civilized self behind in my delirium. My mind operates on pure instinct. I am a wild Puma devouring him.

I look down at him through my glazed eyes with pure hunger. Something comes together within me. I feel my Chakras fuse as I absorb his energy. I dig my fingernails deep into his chest muscles. I feel his body tense as the heat between us becomes an inferno.

I violently thrust my hips, savagely taking Juan. Deep in the hollow at the apex of my legs, I feel my soft walls tighten around his member. In the crevice of my orchid, I feel my tiny stamen hum with glorious pleasure. Sparks of heat and flame shoot from my tiny nub of flesh through my spine as I feel the tide of pleasure begin to surge through

my body. He climaxes with a soft moan.

Suddenly I hear footsteps and a scraping sound. I stand up, look over the edge of the Kiva, and see two glowing eyes look back at me. I shine my flashlight and see a majestic mountain lion, muscles rippling in the desert night, perched on the wall of the ruin. She opens her mouth and reveals huge sharp ivory incisors in the beam of my flashlight.

We stand there, looking at each other for a moment, and I feel real fear. I can see the hunger in her eyes and it connects somehow with my own hunger. We stare at each other. I see her eyes glaze. My heart beats wildly and I freeze. The lioness leaps off the wall and I hear her running into the desert growling. The fire we built is dying down. I blow on the glowing coals and try to get it to start again.

Juan shivers and says, "Those critters are more afraid of us than we are of them. Don't fret pumpkin."

He continues, "No campout is complete without a campfire. Stay here darling while I look for some twigs to burn."

I hold his arm and say, "No Juan. Please stay here. The lioness is hungry. I can see it in her eyes."

Juan kisses me and says, "She's probably hunting for deer."

He gets up and walks through an opening in the walls of the ruin. I follow him with my flashlight. Hours pass like in a movie. With the terror of recognition I see the lioness. Her mouth is bloody no doubt with Juan's blood. I say, "Juan. If you can hear me stay still." I can see she is stalking. I take Juan's colt 45 out of the pack and aim it between her eyes. She looks at me and I feel an empathetic connection with her. For a moment I freeze and then pull the trigger. She falls like a limp rag doll. Daddy taught me well and my aim was good. I got her between the eyes.

This is my first kill. I remember how daddy had the boys cover themselves with the blood of the first deer they killed. I take Juan's hunting knife out of the pack. I walk up to the dead lioness and crouch down beside her. I pet her head and then grasp her ears to pull her head back and slit her throat. Blood pours out with a sickly sweet smell and I cover my naked body with it. I coat my face, breasts, legs, torso, and even my sex with her blood.

I wait for his return until the first blush of dawn arrives. In my heart I know the lioness took his life. He would never leave me alone from midnight until dawn otherwise. There is no other explanation. God must be a real fucking bastard to let this happen to me.

On either side of me dust devils swirl like wraiths as though welcoming Juan to Hades. I don my apparel for the hike back to the ranger station. I am garbed in floral prints like a bridesmaid. How dare I dress for a wedding with vultures already circling overhead?

I sit in a butterfly pose and rip my clothes. With the desperation of a madwoman who won't let go of her delusions, I call out, "Come back Juan. It is time for breakfast. Let's go home. Juan soon you'll be hiking in the heat of the day. You forgot your canteen. You could be getting dehydrated. We can't risk you getting heat stroke."

My hands tremble as I unpack Juan's bandana from his rucksack. My pose forms into a yoga squat. Just as an autumn leaf put between the sepia pages of a memory book, I press his cherished kerchief into my labia.

My hands sink his woven keepsake into the cusp of my thighs. My eyes glaze with the fog of tears. I stroke myself with a tender breaking of delicate emotions. I feel like a vase shattering in slow motion which then lies broken on the dusty floor. My voice cracks like a china cup. In the afterglow of self-inflicted love, I fall to my knees.

Then I retrieve the scissors from Juan's first aid kit, and cut off my long hair. I weep while the sun rises like a succulent orange resurrecting my hunger for endless life.

I hike back to the car under the newborn sun. I breathe to the rhythm of my steps. Each breath is a silent prayer to hear him call, "wait for me." Upon my arrival at the car Juan is sitting on the hood. He says, "Remind me never to leave a campsite without a compass. God sweet pea I was lost. Just lucky I made it back to the car. I'm so sorry to put you through this."

"You had me out here going batshit crazy. I oughta warm your britches with a hickory stick."

"Are you dressed for a Halloween party?"

"Do I look like a girl from the Rocky horror picture show?"

"Your pubic hair is poking out. What happened to your panties?"

"I needed a new wardrobe. So I ripped the old one apart as an excuse to get another."

"My God what did you do to your hair?"

"This is my new look. I'm going for the feral style. I used the scissors from your first aid kit and cut off my hair. My tresses carpet the ground like molted feathers from a once beautiful canary."

"What in the hell."

"I thought you were dead. So I went crazy with grief. You dodo bird. I'm more exposed than a B movie actress in a skin flick. Had you shown up I'd have given you a lap dance."

"Had I stayed it wouldn't have happened."

"That's right you dingbat! How could you let me think the lioness got you? God I can't believe you left me there to collect firewood."

"I was about to go back to you but it was dark and I'll be damned I was walking in circles."

"Do you know what it's like to take my last pleasure from you by rubbing myself with your bandana pressed between my labia? It was heartbreaking. I was crying in the throes of passion. Now tell me, why did you bring me to butt fuck Egypt?"

"I thought you needed to get off the consumer bandwagon for a while to a place with no stores."

"So you took me to a place with big cats prowling around. When that bitch came back I was sure it wasn't a social call. She had blood on her mouth which to my thinking was yours."

"Oh love of my life, please forgive me."

"Thank the Lord your six shooter was loaded. Good thing daddy brought me up like one of the boys. I was a good shot. I got that lioness between the eyes."

"You are hereby entrusted with carrying the pistol. Having a dick doesn't give one a good aim."

"What an honor to tote heat. But I still want to wear perfume and dress in frilly clothes."

"You don't have to wear camo to be the best shot in this marriage."

"You scared the heebie-jeebies out of me. You are in the dog house. You hear me young man. We aren't coming back here again. This place is bad medicine."

"You have my gentleman's oath never to take you around these parts again."

"Now let me sit here and calm down. I need to collect my wits." I sit on the hood and gaze at tumbleweeds rolling across the sand. The desolation of my heart reflects the emptiness of the land. The world around me is quiet as before the earth was born. I thought my husband had died in the desert where we came to find solace. The world grows colder with my hands numb against the steel of the car. The sun crawls across the sky like a saffron cloud. The canyon is silhouetted like a funeral for a deity lost in mists of myth.

This chariot of steel brought us across the continent to this place under the stars. The pale moon shines above like a beacon of hope as the tide of sunlight floods into the sky in the final moment before Juan turns the ignition in our flight back to home to rewrite the ending of our story. He sits in the driver's seat, next to me, turns the key, and we follow the road to humanity.

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