Lisa - Fat Friend of a Friend

June 2nd 2006 I was sitting on my 2nd story apartment's living room floor with my best friend Joey. It was the hottest night of the year and I had no air conditioning. I normally welcome hot days and nights considering I live in one of the coldest cities on earth but this was too much. Being young and a working student I had very little cash on hand to be out partying with so there we were sitting around talking. Joey's cellphone rang and this is how the conversation went from what I could hear...

HEY
IM HANGING WITH DAVE.
WHO ELSE IS WITH YOU.
TRINA? NEVER MET HER.
UHH NO THANKS WE ALREADY ATE.
BYE.

WHAT THE FUCK I asked YOU'RE TURNING DOWN FREE FOOD FROM A COUPLE WOMEN WHEN WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO?

YEAH IT'S LISA, I DONT REALLY LIKE HER. He replied. They both worked at a provincial park where she would sometimes give him blowjobs on their breaks. I never met her but I heard these stories from Joey. Apparently she was overweight so he didn't want to make it anymore than blowjobs ha ha.

I KNOW BUT SHE'S WITH A FRIEND. FAT CHICKS HAVE HOT FRIENDS. I shot back.

THEY ALSO HAVE FAT FRIENDS Joey replied.

LET'S JUST DO IT. CALL THEM BACK. LET'S ROLL THE DICE My inner sex addict was coming out.

OK FINE. Joey then pulled out his phone and called back Lisa. He told her we were up for meeting them for some dinner but they have to pay. (haha that still makes me laugh). He hung up the phone and we got in his car. On the way we decided if her friend was a giant hippo we would just order fries and bail right after we ate. We pull into the parking lot and get out of the car when I heard this noise.

KA-KLUNK. KA-KLUNK. KA-KLUNK.

I turned expecting to see some barn animal with clanky hooves grazing over to me but instead I saw the most gigantic woman I have ever seen. She was well over 6' tall at at least 300lbs. WHAT THE FUCK. She is walking up to me eyes locked on mine. This must be Trina. In tow with this enormous Linebacker of a woman was another overweight girl but not obese like the walrus. That must be Lisa. When the KA-KLUNKing got close enough to speak to me the first thing out of her mouth was YOU HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND. THOSE GUYS OVER THERE ARE HITTING ON ME AND I TOLD THEM MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING. "She" had such a man voice. UHH OK is all I can say. I already don't want to go in. Joey and Lisa are having a greeting hug and I give Joey a look of sheer terror. He kind of smiles and shrugs like I TOLD YOU SO ASSHOLE NOW YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS.

We go into the restaurant when the hostess brings us to a booth. We awkwardly stand there unaware of how to do the seating arrangements so Joey said WHERE DO YOU GIRLS WANT TO SIT and they immediately bolted for either side of the booth forcing us to sit with them. Joey was already standing by lisa and me with the heifer so that lucky bastard got to sit with her. I flagged the waitress down waving a cloth napkin in a desperate attempt to make this quick. The ladies order a giant feast each that could feed Joey and I for a week while we ordered a small plate of fries to share.

Over the evening we were having some drinks and i began to loosen up, as how these things tend to do. The ladies shared their entire Christmas hams with us and we were beginning to have a good time. But then Lisa had to open her big stupid mouth.

DO YOU GUYS WANT TO COME TO TRINA'S HOUSE? WE HAVE A 60 OF GIN TO DRINK...

I looked at Joey. At this point in my life i NEVER turned down free booze and neither did he. The look in his eyes he said MAYBE THIS WONT BE SUCH A BAD IDEA with a slight shrug. We agreed.

The plan was to drive to Joey's house with both cars, drop Joey's car off and go to Trina's house in her car then she would drop us off later. Once we arrived at Trina's place I immediately began drinking that gin like I had just come home from being lost in the desert and that gin was the only water I had in weeks. I got tanked. I took Trina's little girl's tricycle for a ride in the hallway like a drunk retard. Through out the night Trina and I made long gazes of eye contact with each other. A little thing I know women like with my blue eyes. I knew right then I'd end up fucking this whale but I was too drunk to care.

By the time 5am rolled around and Joey and me had drank all the gin someone suggested we all go to bed. We headed for Trina's giant king sized bed and I informed everyone very loudly that I was to be the one that gets between the women. A shameless action I often take. Lisa got in the bed first next to the wall then me, then Trina then Joey. We stayed up for a little bit talking and cracking jokes when things got a little more quiet. I was lying on my back when Lisa began lightly touching my chest and stomach. Hmmmm I thought maybe I'd get Lisa and leave Gigantor with Joey.

I turned to my side and reached out my arm over her waist and she literally shuddered with anticipation. She melted like butter. We started kissing and groping when I pulled out her big massive tits. They were fucking great! sure this girl was a bit heavy but Next to that 2 on the other side of me this 6 is now an 8! with big round titties! I reached for Joey's hand and placed them on her titties to let him know what was going on. As I said they had a history of fooling around and I didn't know if Joey had a secret torch he was carrying for her. He just said YEAH DAVE IT'S A BREAST and I began laughing. Thinking this was ok I pulled Lisa's tank top over her tits and got out of the bed pulling her with me. We made our way to the living room and I was so drunk I was spinning around like Natalie Portman in Black Swan.

I was knocking things over like the lamp and coffee table. Apparently Joey was cheering from the bedroom but I couldn't hear him. I pulled Lisa's shirt and bra off to get those massive E sized tits out. We got on the couch and were both lying on it making out when she pulled my cock out. She stared jerking me off but was going at it way too hard like she was trying to pull it off. I am not circumcised to that area can be quite painful if yanked down and tugged at aggressively. I started jacking it myself and whacked her tit with it a few times and placed her hand back on it when she said I'M NOT GOING TO COMPETE WITH YOU. I laughed to myself and began tit-fucking her.

She sat up and went to the middle of the couch and placed her mouth on my cock while I was lying there. Her head bobbed up and down on it. Her massive tits on my thigh and her hair draped over my stomach. i loved it but once again she was going at it too hard. I pulled her up on top of me and I felt down to her pants when she said she was on the rag. FUKKKK THAT. I took her again beside me and began jacking off over her tits. I was determined to cum this drunken time but I knew i had to take matters into my own hand.

I was getting close when I informed her IM GOING TO CUM and she eagerly said YEAHHH. I was holding her right tit with my right arm wrapped around her while my left had was beating off right on her nipple. It felt fucking great. I exploded a massive load all over her tit. It spilled out over her nipple and down her breast over her side. The next shot hit her right in the face. haha. Then I finished milking my dick over her tit completely covering it in cum.

I was spent. Spent and completely disinterested. JOEY!!! I yell. YOU READY TO GO? Lisa go up and was sitting on the floor. DON'T TELL JOEY I SUCKED YOU, OK? I looked at her and agreed OH YEAH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I knew right then i was fucking lying. Joey came out of the room with kind of a smirk on his face. The ladies wanted to drive us home but that was the last fucking thing we wanted NOOO THAT'S OK WE WILL JUST WALK THE 10KM BACK HOME.

After we left I started to feel guilty. As I said I didn't know if Joey had a thing for her so I told him right away everything that happened. Including her "sucking me" and how she told me not to tell him. He said it was awesome and that he has no feelings for her at all. To this day I still have an image of Lisa sitting on the floor her hair a mess smoking a cigarette in her tank top avoiding eye contact with me as we left.

****Side note*****

After Lisa and I left Joey and the humpback whale in the bedroom she started playing with his cock. She asked him DOES JOEY WANT TO KISS ME??? and he said NO so she got under the blanket and sucked him off. haha. Joey left his fucking belt at Trina's house and had to go back to get it. He put it off for a while but after a week of him walking around holding his pants up (we were too poor to buy another one) he finally mustered up the courage to go back for his belt. She tricked him!! as what fat girls do!!! he has a thing for this author named Irvine Welsh and she had many books by him and offered to lend him one. When he was in there picking one out she made him a drink. Being a drunk he took it and several more. All he has ever said about it was AFTER I DRANK HER BOOZE I FIRED IT INTO HER. THEN MADE SURE TO REMEMBER MY BELT.