Long Dark Nights - Kai's Story Ch. 03

I woke up earlier the next day with excitement coursing through me. I couldn't wait to fully examine in the daylight the items Sophia had given me. I sat near the window and opened the tin that held the body sugaring salve. It smelled almost good enough to eat. I closed the tin and sat it beside me on the floor. Next I pulled out the brasserie. It wasn't fancy at all, but certainly functional. I held it up to my big tits and surprisingly it seemed like it would fit. I decided I would put it on after bathing. I put it aside and reached for the lotion, bar soap and hair soap. It smelled girly and lovely. I couldn't wait to use it.

There was one more item in the bundle. I reached for the silky material and found myself holding the most exquisite pair of women's underwear. Did Sophia mean these for me to wear? She must have! I ran the underwear over my cheek and revelled in the feel against my skin. I realized then that I absolutely could not wait to wear these undergarments that had originally been intended for women. I was hard and throbbing at the thought. I also realized I wanted more women's clothing. I wanted to feel and look feminine and pretty for Sophia.

I went to my door and listened for my parents. My dad would be away working, and most likely my mother was out in her gardens. She spent hours a day tending to her expansive gardens. She had no choice since they were both a source of food, as well as income. The house was silent. I stepped out of my room and crept down the hallway. Everything was quiet and still, so I snuck to my mother's bedroom. I went right for her cabinet and dug to the very back where she kept the clothes that no longer fit her. I knew her tops would not fit over my huge tits. Her chest was much smaller than mine. Her older skirts fit my narrow waist and hips perfectly though. I found three that I liked a lot and tucked them under my arm. I turned quickly to sneak back to my room before my mother could return.

My heart slammed into my chest when I realized that I was too late. I saw her as soon as I turned. I was immediately conscious of how I would look in her eyes. My tits were huge and heavy with thick juicy nipples that my light sleep top did absolutely nothing to conceal. In fact I knew my nipples and areolas would be highly visible through the fabric. I wore loose cotton sleep pants that were equally bad at concealing my enormous, and embarrassingly semi-hard cock. My hair was long and flowed down over my shoulders and back. I was stunning without a doubt, but a monster all the same.

The sheer look of terror on my mother's face spoke volumes. I felt my heart constrict painfully in my chest as she gasped and crossed herself before placing her hand over her gaping mouth.

"Kai?." She gasped.

I didn't respond. I was simply too stunned by being caught and seen by her. I had known the day would eventually come, but I had hoped to minimize the damage of what she or my father would see when it happened. I had hoped to try to conceal my big tits and of course my equine-like cock. I felt so exposed I wanted to vomit.

"What happened to you?" She asked softly as tears filled her eyes.

I didn't respond. I stared at her and she stared back. I knew what she was seeing. She saw woman where her son should be.

"Did you do this somehow?" She asked so softly it was hard to hear her.

"No!" I needed her to believe me. I didn't want to be this way. I wanted to be a normal man and lead a normal man's life. That, unfortunately, was not a possibility for me. I moved a little toward her, pleadingly. She jumped back. "Mother, please believe me..."

"Kai, my eyes are tricking me. I don't know what to believe."

"I know what I look like mother. I have always been slight and small. I was forever being mistaken for a girl. Then puberty came and I grew these." I gestured toward my pendulous tits.

I watched my mother as she seemed to calm a little. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was so scared." It was the truth. I was scared that they wouldn't love me. I was scared they would send me away. I was scared of the very look I was seeing now in her eyes.

A choked sob escaped from my mother. "Kai....Kai...." she couldn't finished what she wanted to say. She crossed the small space between us and wrapped her arms around me. It was the first time my mother had hugged me since I was a child. Soon enough we were both blubbering and crying.

"Please don't be scared, Kai. I am your mother. I love you exactly as you are." The words left her lips and lodged in my heart. Instantly I fully relaxed into her embrace. There was nothing so soothing as a mother's unconditional love.

"I have so many questions Kai, it has been so long since you let me talk to you!"

"I will answer anything." I wanted to bare my soul to her.

She stepped back and looked me up and down. "If it wasn't for that massive thing between your legs you would surpass the most stunning woman in the village as most beautiful." Her voice was filled with awe. I blushed furiously.

"I need to see you!" She declared in a purely efficient way.

I took another step back letting her fully take in what I had become.

"No no! Take off everything."

I peered at her unsure what to do. Did she really want to see me completely nude? This hardly seemed appropriate, however I also didn't blame her for her curiosity. I hesitated and shuffled my feet several times while she stared on expectantly. Finally, seeing little reason not to show her I stripped off my sleep clothes and stood completely nude before my mother. Immediately, my horse cock thickened and lengthened. I was ashamed of this, but it was always like this. I was hard more often than I was phallic.

"I am sorry." I stammered.

"Oh! It's okay, my son." She flapped her hand in the air as if to say all was normal.

I watched her examine me. At first she pointedly ignored my massive throbbing cock. She looked at my face, and she touched my hair. She ran the silky strands through her fingers. Her fingers then trailed down my face and over my plump lips. She continued to explore with her fingers down my neck and finally to the top of my tits. Without hesitation she used both hands and cupped my tits. My thick nipples were hard and long beyond reason. The skin of my areolas puckered tight. I stifled a groan as she ran her thumbs over the excessively sensitive nipples.

"These are amazing..." She whispered. She looked down at her own and then back at mine with awe in her expression.

I remained silent as she continued to toy with my tits. She examined them totally and I assume found them to be perfectly natural. Finally she moved her hands away and left them to hang heavy on my frame. "Do you hate them?"

"No. I answered honestly. I hated the effect they had on my life, or lack of life, but I loved my tits. They were a part of me. They made me feel feminine. I loved my sensitive nipples. I loved looking down and seeing deep cleavage. "They are a part of me."

She nodded but didn't respond. Her dry warm hands continued down my flat stomach. She was getting nearer and nearer to my pulsing cock. I felt a bit of the white cream ooze out. I felt even more ashamed now. "I am sorry, Mama. It is always like this. I can't seem to stop it."

"It's okay, Kai. It is so large!"

I looked down in time to see one of her hands wrap around my shaft and her other hand tucked between my legs to cup my enormous balls. I held my breath and didn't move. I felt a trickle of sweat run down my back. There was no excitement, because she's my mother. I didn't feel any desires toward my mother. It was the situation that was making my mind and body go crazy.

"You are so large and heavy here! Impossibly large!" She was talking more to herself than me. "Do you hate this?" She asked.

"No." Again this was an honest answer. It was big and uncomfortable. It was embarrassing, but I loved my cock. It made me a man. I loved being a man.

"I can't imagine a woman being able to make love to you." Her voice was filled with dismay. Suddenly she looked up at me while still holding my manhood. "Do you like women?"

I look at my mother surprised by her question. I had always assumed she knew little of the world. Less than me, and I knew very little. It was also an odd question that I had never considered before. I felt a bit ambiguous. I thought of Sophia. She excited me a lot. I did like women, but I also revelled in being feminine like a woman. I thought about other men, and to my surprise the intimate idea of another man did not repulse me. If anything it intrigued me. I decided to answer honestly without volunteering extra information.

"I like women."

Once again she nodded but made no comment. She touched me a little and brought her fingers up over the massive thick purple head of my cock. She got some of the white cream on her fingers but didn't seem to mind at all. I let out a shuddering breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I relaxed slightly as she finally pulled her hands away from my cock.

"Turn around." I spun to put my back to her.

Curious hands ran down over my backside. She touched and caressed before pulling the cheeks of my ass apart. Instinctively I bent forward a little to let her see me there too. When she had looked her fill she turned me back toward her.

"Kai, you are lovely. Every part of you is amazing." Her eyes showed me that she truly meant every word.

"I am a freak of nature."

"Your body is different, but that doesn't make you a freak. Your face is that of a Goddess. Your breasts a large and firm. Your stomach is flat and your hips narrow. Your backside is rounded. And that cock, Kai, that cock is like nothing else I have ever seen. You are so large. Your balls are so full. Men would give anything to carry a cock like that between their legs!"

I mumbled incoherently as cream leaked from my cock and dripped onto my feet. I was feeling anxious now. I wanted to retreat and hide.

"I will need to tell your father, but I am not sure how yet. Give me time with that. We will help you Kai. We will find a woman or maybe a whole harem of women that will love you and honour you. They will worship that cock."

"I would like to go bathe now." I gave my excuse to escape.

"What do you have there?" She pointed at the forgotten skirts tucked under the sleep clothes I had taken off.

I blushed furiously at having been caught. "Oh...I am sorry. I wanted some skirts."

"To wear?"

"Yes. Outwardly I appear more female than male. I want to wear women's clothing sometimes. I should not have taken them without permission." I looked at my feet for a long moment.

She eyed me up and down. "Not to worry. Take them. I will get you some tops that will fit you, and some undergarments. "Do you want to often dress as a woman?"

"Yes, I think I do." I was still digesting this knowledge myself. It was confusing trying to explain it to my mother.

She nodded. "I will get you clothing, Kai." With that she stooped and picked up the skirts and my sleep clothing and put them in my arms. She kissed me on my cheek and scooted me out of the room.

I went back to my room and I ran myself a bath. I felt shaky and confused but somehow so much lighter. I found myself singing and it was the sound of a woman singing. I sank low into the warm bath water and reveled in cleansing myself with the soaps that Sophia had given me. I took particular pleasure in stroking my soapy hands up and down my shaft of my cock. I was careful to stop long before I got to the point of releasing my cream. I remembered my promise to Sophia. The problem was that my balls were growing increasingly tight and painful. They felt so full and heavy and I knew a release would make it all better. As I lazed in the tub I considered doing it despite my promise. I reasoned that she could not possibly know. I started to stroke myself again under the water, but this time in earnest. It felt incredible and I quickly came to the brink where I knew I was about to explode.

Suddenly, I stopped. Tears flooded my eyes as my balls almost felt as if someone had suddenly squeezed then with a tight grip. A sob escaped my chest as I suddenly decided that I needed to honour my promise to Sophia. I would deny myself the pleasure and release I needed so badly. Tears streamed down my face. I was a mess all of a sudden. The pain in my balls left me breathless. Knowing I could make the pain go away but I refused to allow myself was confusing.

I needed to give some serious thought to who I was and what I was. I slowly tried to sit back in the tub and breathe deeply. I knew the pain would not go away but it would surely ease. I let my mind wander as the water cooled around me.

I knew I liked women because Sophia excited me. I thought of a another man naked and touching me, and somehow the excitement was still there. Of course I could never know for sure either way. I had never actually been with a woman or a man. Even Sophia had barely touched me. This begged more questions. Why had I denied myself the release? Why had I made such a promise to her? Why had she asked me not to climax? She tended to give me orders now that I thought about it. More interestingly, I liked it. What did that mean about me? I couldn't wait to talk to Sophia and try to figure this all out.

Once out of the bath, I fully dried while emptying the tub. My skin smelled delicious. I immediately set about my next task. I needed to remove all the hair from under my arms, my legs and my crotch. I needed to be perfectly smooth for Sophia. I decided to start with me legs. I sat on the floor with the pot of sugaring beside me. I used a thin smooth wood stick to smooth it over the hair on my legs. I was uncoordinated and messy. but still managed. I placed a small swath of cotton cloth over the sugaring.

Taking the bottom of the cotton strip I pulled up fast and hard. I barely contained the scream that wanted to rip from my chest. It was one of the worst pains I had ever felt. My reddened skin vibrated with pain. I decided to quit. There was no way I could do this for Sophia. I could not endure this kind of pain to the point of removing all my bodily hair. I sat there for a moment feeling defeated and more than a little sad. Then as Sophia's face played in my mind I knew I would do this for her, no matter how excruciating it was. I set back about my task until I was completely battered and crying, but smooth and hair free everywhere. When it was over I felt relieved beyond words. I kind of liked the smooth feel, but decided to explore that more later when I wasn't still reeling from it all.

When I was done with my bath I returned to my room. The afternoon was getting later, but my room was not dark like usual. A lit oil lamp sat on the floor just a bit away from my bed. On my bed sat a pile of neatly folded women's clothing. Near the clothes sat my dinner. My mother's quiet acceptance and love left me grateful and humbled. If she could accept the monster her son had become, then I could accept myself too.

***

I was rock hard the entire time walking to the lake the next night. I absolutely could not wait to see Sophia. I felt lighter than I had in my entire life. I was still flying high on my mother having seen me and still loving me. My smooth balls were painful and heavy between my legs, and the swish of my skirt over my cock was both amazing and excruciating. Now that I understood the relief a purposeful climax could give me, I craved it to the point it was hard to concentrate.

Once again Sophia was already there waiting for me. She looked like an angel sitting in the moonlight next to the water. My heart skipped several beats I was so pleased she was there. I wondered if she would have me undress. I couldn't wait for her to see me in my women's under things, but more than that I couldn't wait for her to see me hairless. It was strange, but felt so sensitive and wonderful.

As I drew closer I immediately noticed that she was completely naked. I moved a little faster. My balls held snug in the woman's underwear but my cock was hanging out the leg opening and was beginning to dribble cream. My mouth watered as I could make out the round globes of her tits.

"My Kai! You look so beautiful. Come stand in front of me and show me how pretty you are!"

I stopped right in front of Sophia, then I spun in a little pirouette like a real woman. My skirt flourished a little around my legs. She seemed pleased.

"You really do look wonderful and your tits look so good in a brassiere. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I feel very pretty tonight. I wanted to look perfect for you."

Sophia nodded thoughtfully at me as she reached out and ran her hand over my leg. "Oh so smooth!" she squealed. I was thrilled that she was pleased.

"Take some off....let me see!"

I didn't hesitate at all. I slipped my skirt off and pulled my top off. I stood in just my feminine panties and brassiere. My cock jutted toward Sophia's face from the leg opening.

"Do I look pretty?" I asked shyly.

"Oh yes Kai! You look lovely! Leave the panties on, but take off your brassiere." She instructed. I did as I was told. She told me to sit down.

"I don't have much time tonight, Kai. However, we are going to give you some release tonight."

Before I knew what she was going to do she swooped down and took the head of my cock in her mouth. It was the most electrifying feeling ever. I could see her small mouth was stretched as wide as it could get. She couldn't possibly take more than the tip in her tiny mouth. Her small hands fluttered around my cock like butterflies before landing and stroking me. I groaned loudly. This was like nothing else I had ever experienced. Having someone else touch me was heady and intoxicating. I had never imagined someone even attempting to put their mouth anywhere near my genitals.

She kept her mouth stretched tightly around me while she stroked me fast. Perhaps even too fast, but I didn't complain. I felt my balls tighten and knew I was on the verge of a climax. Not knowing what to do I panted. "Sophia...I...um....I'm going to...."

With a quick motion of her hand she silenced me. Then she quickly returned that hand to my pulsing cock and continued to stroke fast. It took only seconds before I erupted into her mouth. I couldn't help but watch. She valiantly tried to swallow, but some exploded from the sides of her lips. Finally she pulled back with my cream leaking down her chin. She was breathing hard and her eyes were a bit wild even in the moonlight.

She leaned forward quickly and kissed me hard. She used her slick tongue to force my mouth open and as soon as it did she dumped a huge amount of my own cream into my mouth. I swallowed it all down hungrily while kissing her with passion I had never experienced before.

As we caught our breath, Sophia leaned against me and snuggled. So many emotions coursed through me. I knew that I was falling in love with Sophia. I also knew Sophia belong to another man. A man that looked and lived as a real man. A man that was a doctor and a missionary. I knew what we were doing was sinful, and unforgivable. However, I couldn't stop myself. I wanted so much more of Sophia.

"Kai, I have something to ask you."

"You can ask me anything." I stroked her soft locks of hair at her shoulder.

"As you know I am married. I love my husband. With that being said, I am terribly unhappy and unfulfilled. He knows it too. He doesn't know how to fix it, so instead he ignores me and hopes it will get better."

My heart tripped at the sadness in her voice. "I have no idea how any man could ignore you."

"Kai, I want to ask him if I can have you. How do you feel about that?"

I felt confused. What did she mean by "have me"? Like I am an object to be kept? "What do you mean?"