Long Distance is a Bitch Ch. 01

"And when I got upset about it, he accused me of being selfish. Said I was more interested in rubbing my A in his face than consoling him over his C. Why the fuck should I console him when I know the grade he got was because of a console... a video game console!" I said, upset.

"Good one!"

"I was not trying to make a joke!" I snarled.

"Sorry!" Dustin raised his hand in an apology.

"What's wrong with men? Why are they so difficult to date?"

"I know they are. Which is why I date only women!" Dustin said and smiled.

I glared at Dustin in half anger and half amusement. He maintained a smile on his face. Finally, I burst out laughing at his silly joke. He joined in, and we laughed for almost a minute.

"I am sorry. So sorry." Dustin said. "I didn't mean to make jokes."

"It's okay." I said.

"It's just that.....well..... I'm a little high."

"You're what?????" I said in shock.

"I am high. On weed. I took a couple of tokes from this joint earlier." Dustin said, taking a half burnt joint out of his cigarette box.

"Dustin! Are you insane? You could get fired!"

"Nah, they don't do drug testing at universities. One of the reasons I love this job."

"Still...."

"Do you smoke weed?"

"Umm...no." I said. The tentativeness in my voice was obvious.

"That's not a definite No."

"Okay, what I mean is I don't smoke weed now. Now that I am in America. Parag and I used to do it occasionally back in India during our college days. But here, well..." I shrugged, "I don't know if the risk is worth it in case I get caught and deported. Also, I don't know where to get it."

"I have some right here!" Dustin said, offering me the joint.

"Dustin! Put it away!" I said, looking around in panic. "Someone could see us."

"Come on! Just take a hit. It'll get rid of all this stress you've been under."

I stared at the joint for a moment and almost took it. But then I shook my head.

"No. I have to go back to the department. They may realize I am high. And smell it on me."

"Have some tictacs. That's what I do!" Dustin said, taking out a box of tictacs from his pocket and rattling them.

"No. They could still guess I am high." I said. "Please put the joint away! You'll get us in trouble!"

Dustin put the joint back in the cigarette pack and put it in his pocket.

"Tell you what. When are you going home tonight?"

"Same time as usual. 7 or 8 pm." I said.

"Hang around till 9. That's when my shift ends. I'll drop you home and let you have a couple of hits."

"I don't know Dustin...." I said, fighting the temptation to get high again after almost a year.

"Do they test grad students for drugs?"

"No."

"So? What's the harm? You said you've done it before."

I considered his offer and realized that there indeed was no harm in taking a couple of hits. God knows I could use it, with all the shit that had gone down with Parag.

"Okay fine. 9 pm?"

"Yup. Meet me at the north parking deck."

----------------

A few hours later, it was 9 pm and I was waiting at the exit of the north parking deck. A couple of cars went by before a beaten down Ford Pinto stopped next to me.

"Get in!" Dustin said.

I opened the passenger door and got in the car. Dustin's eyes looked red. He had probably been smoking more of the weed in the meantime.

"Dustin, are you okay to drive?" I asked, worried.

"Oh yeah. I am fine."

"Maybe I should drive." I said.

"Relax! I have driven in much worse shape with no accidents." Dustin said and joined the traffic. "Now, where do you live?"

"East Poplar Ave."

"And we're a go!"

I sat in silence, praying to all the gods I could recall as Dustin drove us through the bumpy and crowded South Jersey roads. After a few minutes, I felt more at ease. He did indeed seem to have a handle on driving while high. Or should I say jughandle, since we were in South Jersey? Sorry, couldn't resist that pun!

Twenty minutes later, Dustin stopped the car outside my apartment. He reached into his pocket, took out the cigarette pack, and produced a joint from it. He looked around to make sure no one was walking by and lit the joint. He took a big puff, held it in for 20 seconds or so and exhaled. The smell of marijuana filled the car. He stretched his hand towards me, offering me the joint. I took a small toke, inhaled it, and held it in. The herb smoke seared my throat as it went down. I kept it in for about ten seconds and exhaled, coughing lightly.

"Fuck, that's strong!" I said, my eyes watering up slightly.

"Yup! Hydroponic and shit!" Dustin said and took another puff.

I felt this weed take effect a lot faster than the weed in India. My head felt light and I felt relief sweeping over me. When Dustin offered me the joint again, I took it and this time took a longer drag. Yes, this was some good strong weed, I thought to myself. Dustin and I both took about 5 hits each and the joint ran out.

"That is good! So good!" I said happily.

"It is not un-good." Dustin said and started giggling.

I joined in and we giggled for a while. The weed was now really starting to take effect.I felt the insides of the car gyrate a bit.

"Hey!" Dustin said. "You wanna hear some of my band's music?"

"I would love it!"

Dustin pressed a couple of buttons on his car's CD player and music combined with smoke to fill up the car. The song was about the bat mitzvah of some girl named Sarah. At first it seemed random, but then as I listened carefully, I could read between the lines.

"It's not about a bat mitzvah at all!" I said "It's about being in love with two people!"

"Exactly!" Dustin said, and raised his palm. I high-fived him.

The next song was about how the hero wanted soft-boiled eggs but got hard-boiled eggs instead. Another song was about jellybeans of different color. The next song was about the difference between goat cheese and regular cheese. I read profound hidden meanings into all those songs that I now forget. But Dustin and I were happily listening to the songs and discussing the subtext. This went on for about half an hour, although considering how high we were, it seemed like several hours.

"I should go. I have an early meeting tomorrow." I said.

"Okie-doke!" Dustin said and nodded.

"Thanks for the weed." I said.

"Thanks for the company." he said.

I got out of the car and started walking towards my apartment building. The walk to the main entrance, about 100 feet usually takes half a minute or so, but in my current state, it seemed like ten minutes. I got to the door and turned around. Dustin's car was still there. Silent. He had not started it. I stood there waiting for him to leave. But the car stayed silent. I don't know how long I stood there. It seemed like a long time, but must have been only a couple of minutes. I then saw Dustin get out of the driver's side and get into the back seat. That puzzled me. I made the seemingly long walk back to the car and peeped into the back seat.

Dustin was lying down with his eyes closed. I knocked on the window and he opened his eyes and rolled down the window.

"Hey Anar!"

"Hey Dustin.... what's up? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just....well....a little too high to drive. So I'm just gonna spend the night in my car here."

"What????"

"If I drive now, I could get into an accident. Or worse, pulled over! I'll be okay just sleeping in the back."

I stared at him and thought about something for a while.

"Dustin." I finally said. "Don't be silly. You don't need to sleep in the car. Come upstairs to my apartment. You can sleep on the couch."

"Oh no, it's fine. I have slept in my car lots of times!" Dustin said.

"Shhhhh!" I said putting my finger on my lips. "Come upstairs right now!":

"Okay...." Dustin said and got out of the car. He quietly followed me to my apartment building and then up the stairs.

I opened the door of my apartment and let Dustin in. It was just past 10 pm on a school night. Obviously, both my goody-two-shoes roommates were in their room studying.

"There's the couch. Make yourself comfortable." I said to Dustin. He rushed to the couch and collapsed on it. Within a few seconds, he was snoring. I guessed smoking weed all day will do that to you. I myself was feeling rather high, but wasn't close to passing out yet.

"What is this?" one of my roommates said, standing at the door of their bedroom. The other was standing next to her, both staring in horror at Dustin.

"A friend of mine. He isn't feeling well. I asked him to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Are you mad?" the other one hissed. "Some strange man in our apartment with the three of us?"

"I told you, he's a friend of mine. It'll be fine." I said walking towards my room.

"This is not acceptable, Anar." she said.

"Yeah, well, then you wake him up and kick him out." I said and slammed the door behind me. I was not going to let those stuck-up bitches ruin my high. I opened my laptop, started a playlist of my favorite songs, and lay down on the bed. I am not sure when exactly I fell asleep.

-----------------

The next day, there was an almighty row. Quite unwarranted, I felt. Dustin woke up well before dawn and was gone before either me or my roommates woke up. But that didn;t stop them from bitching and moaning to me about it all morning until I left for school.

"How dare you bring a man into the house without asking us?"

"What if he had raped you? What if he had raped us?"

"What will other people say?"

"We were so scared we couldn't sleep all night."

"Is he your boyfriend? We thought you had a boyfriend in North Carolina?"

"Only characterless women bring guys home like this."

"We put up with your smoking and your eating meat, but this is too much."

All this is just a small sample of what my roommates bombarded me with. I argued back, reminding them that I pay half the rent, and I had as much right to this apartment as they did. I also reminded them that this wasn't small town India, so they had better stop behaving like two fuddy duddies. And I said a lot of things, throwing their insults back at them in equal measure. But by the time I left the apartment for school, I was regretting the whole thing. I still knew I was right in inviting Dustin to sleep on the couch instead of his car. But I didn't need this extra aggravation.

I got to school and immersed myself in my coursework and research. It was a particularly busy day for me, and even when I ran into Dustin, I just made small talk and left. He thanked me for letting me spend the night on the couch, and I told him it was no bother.

That night, Parag called. He started off by apologizing about the way he had behaved. He assured me he was proud of my achievements and admitted that he felt jealous that he couldn't keep up. But, he said, he would work on it, and work harder. And he promised me that he would absolutely come visit me the coming weekend. Pretty soon, we were professing our renewed love to each other. That out of the way, I thought of telling him about the previous night.

"By the way, last night, I smoked weed." I started, making sure there was no one around in the corridor of our department.

"What!!!?? How?" Parag asked in an excited voice.

"You know that guy Dustin I told you about?"

"Your janitor rock star friend?"

"Yeah, him. He got it for me."

"Nice! You're lucky to know such people. I must make friends like that here so I can smoke weed too!"

"It was really strong and smooth. In just 5 hits, I was over the moon!"

"Great! Can he get some for us this weekend when I visit?"

"I am sure he can! I'll ask him when I meet him." I said. "But it led to a fight."

Then I told Parag about how Dustin was in no shape to drive home so I invited him to sleep on the couch. And how my roommates gave me hell for it. Parag was very understanding, and agred that my roommates had been total bitches.

"This weekend, when I come, we should totally make out in front of them to make them angrier." Parag suggested.

"Oooh, great idea!"

With that, we ended our conversation. And I got back to studying, relieved that all was well with my boyfriend.

----------------

The next day, I spent some time with Dustin, smoking outside the building. Just cigarettes, not weed. He did offer me weed, but I told him to save it for the weekend when Parag visited. He told me that Vicky was coming over on Saturday as well, so maybe we could go on a couple of double dates over the weekend. I told him that sounded like a great idea.

The day after, I got back another midterm. In this one, I did quite badly, a C. I was distraught, because I had spent hours and hours studying for it. Worked really hard. And yet, I had scored a C. Even worse, I felt the course was getting harder, so I dreaded what might happen in the final exam. I tried calling Parag to vent about it, but he told me he was busy. He was working extra hard to finish his studying and research so he could come meet me, so I did not mind. I tried to seek out Dustin instead, but he was busy helping the crew wax the floors, so he did not get time to talk to me.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was a bit of a wreck, stressing about my crappy midterm. But I was relieved that at least I would get to spend the weekend with my boyfriend. His bus was to leave at 10 pm, so I called him at 8 to make sure he was packed and ready to go. It went to voicemail. I figured he was busy, and went back to studying. Half an hour later, he hadn't called me back yet, so I called him again. It went to voicemail again. I left him a message asking him to call me back.

Another hour went by. it was now 9:30. Still no call back, I was now getting testy. He should've been on his way to the bus stop by now. I tried to call him again. This time, it rang a few times and was finally answered.

"Parag, where the fuck are you?" I said. "I hope you're on your way."

"No, I am not. Listen Anar...." he said in a low voice I could barely hear.

"What? You'll miss your bus. Where are you?"

"I am at...."

He started saying and then I heard a female voice say softly in the background,

"Someone is coming! I hear footsteps..... who's on the phone?"

"It's my girlfriend."

"Hang up! Hang up!" the female voice said and the call ended.

What! The! Fuck!

I tried to process what I had just heard and called Parag back. It wasn't answered. I tried to call him again. Again, voicemail.

I started feeling rage build up as I replayed the phone call in my mind. He admitted he wasn't on his way. A female voice in the background asked who he was talking to, and that someone was coming. When he told her it was me on the phone, she made him hang up. And before and after, Parag was refusing to answer the phone.

I needed someone to talk me down and tell me I was being paranoid. I ran downstairs to look for Dustin. I knew his shift ended at 10 pm tonight and he spent the last half hour mopping the lobby.

"I need to talk to you right now!" I said, my voice quivering. Dustin looked at my face and figured out something was horribly wrong.

"Are you okay, Anar? What's wrong?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"I think my boyfriend...." I started crying as the words came out, "is cheating on me."

"What?" Dustin stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder. By now I was all but bawling. I was glad that the lobby was almost empty. But there were still a couple of students milling about, and they started staring at me.

"Shush!" Dustin noticed others staring and led me towards a side door. We stepped outside to the spot where we usually smoked. Luckily that spot was completely deserted. Blubbering through my tears, I told Dustin about the phone call.

"You know...that doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating on you." he said.

"Then....what.....could....it....mean?" I said, still crying.

"I don't know. But.... well..." Dustin said, trying to figure out a way to stop my flow of tears. "Please stop crying. Let's figure it out."

But my tears refused to stop. I kept crying and repeating, "He is cheating on me, he is cheating on me" over and over.

"Okay, listen." Dustin said. "You stay here. Let me get my car keys and take you home. You need to calm down."

And he ran inside the building. I stood there, face in my hands, crying. Dustin was back with his keys. Usually when he left, he changed from his janitor's coveralls into street clothes. But in the hurry to get me home, he was still in his coverall. Which was just as well, because as he wrapped an arm around me and led me to the parking lot, my tears and some snot messed up the front and sleeve of his coveralls.

A few minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Dustin's car. I had calmed down enough by then. The tears had stopped. I wiped them off. We drove in silence for a while.

"I left my backpack in the department." I said.

"Do you wanna go back for it?"

"No, it's fine."

Silence for a while more.

"You know, we were never right for each other." I said.

"Come on! Don't say that!"

"I am serious! Now that he's cheating on me, I see it so clearly."

I spent the next ten minutes or so venting about Parag and his flaws. How selfish he was, and decided that whatever he wanted was the best for us. How he was insecure about my being smarter than him. How he never seemed to be working on the relationship. It always had to be me. I was telling Dustin the details of one of our earlier fights when he pulled up next to my apartment.

"Okay, we're here. Let's go inside and talk."

I got out of the car and then just stood there. Dustin looked confused.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to go in there, Dustin. Those bitches are in there."

"What bitches?"

"Those stupid annoying roommates of mine. I don't think I can deal with them right now, especially if I take you with me. I told you how bitchy they were the time you stayed over."

"Yeah. So where do you wanna go?"

"I don't know. Just....some place we can talk. I need to unload so much stuff. Clear my head. Figure things out."

"Well.... there's a quiet bar I know on Cedar where we could sit and talk."

"That sounds good. I really need a drink or ten right now."

We got back in the car and I checked my cellphone to see if Parag had called back. Nope, he hadn't. I thought of calling him again, but decided against it. Maybe his floozie would stop him from answering again.

"Hey Anar, would you mind if we stopped by my place real quick?" Dustin asked. "I'd prefer to change into something else."

"Oh shit, you're still in your coveralls. I have been so self-absorbed, I didn't notice it at all. Don't you usually change in school?"

"Yeah, but you were....you know.....it could wait. I could go back to school but my place is closer and is on the way to the bar."

"Sure, no problem. In fact I should wash my face as well."

Ten minutes later, Dustin pulled into the backyard of a small multi-apartment building. His apartment was on the 2nd floor. He opened the door and I found myself in his living room. Roomy and modestly but tastefully done. Not like Parag's apartment in North Carolina which was always a mess.

"The bathroom is that way. I'll get changed." Dustin said and went into his bedroom.

In the bathroom, I washed my face. I never wore too much make-up, but my tears had messed up whatever little I did. I blew my nose, washed my face again, and wiped it with a towel.

I walked out into the living room. Dustin had changed into jeans and a Decemberists t-shirt. He was standing by the window, lighting a joint. He took a drag and said,

"Just a couple for the road. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." I said. "In fact....I think I could use a hit or two myself."

"Are you sure, Anar? You are already emotionally disturbed. I don't know if weed..."