Long Drive North

He didn't look at me, paying all his attention to his prick, but I knew he'd put that show on for me on purpose. He can be quite the showman.

"So there we are, wankin' away in the front room and then you get back from the club, all grumpy cause I ditched you, and there's a bit more embarrassment, where can we put our faces, but then I dare one of the lads to find out what's under y'kilt."

"Fuck off!" I drawled, reflexively. I've lived in London for a while, but I'll always be a daft Jock to Gaz. I've never worn a kilt in my life, but he still winds me up about it. I'd spent a drunken hour the previous night explaining my theory that my brother was having a "formal" wedding complete with kilts just to piss me off, and Gaz was jibing me about it. There was no ire in my reply, though, and I have to admit my mouth was dry and I was very distracted indeed by what was going on in the seat next to me.

We'd played this game before, one of us starting to have a crafty wank, and the loser was the one who first drew attention to what was going on. Gaz won more often than I did, sure, because the man was immune to shame, but it was closer than he liked to admit. It had also lead to a great deal of fun on trains, at parties, in pubs and the like.

He'd taken a firm grip on his prickshaft now, flexing his fingers along the underside and continuing to stir a pool of sticky mess together in the little pool formed by his crinkled foreskin as it slowly slid back over the emerging dicktip. He went on with his fantasy.

"Well, y'know, once a blokes seen Big Rob nowt'll do but he's got to have it, ain't that right?"

I grinned at that. I'd said it to Gaz the first time as we staggered out of the taxi back to my flat for "another beer." he'd checked me out in the pisser, and I always said that was why we ended up in bed together - well, in bed eventually, and in a lot of other places round the flat first. He still found it funny. I'd been right, though he denied it ever since.

"An' once he's had a look, why it's an easy matter to get him to give it a wee kiss an' before you know it there you are on the couch with y'legs akimbo and some stranger between y'knees gettin' to know Big Rob better."

He looked me in the eye again, and there was a glint of seriousness in it. "Y'gettin' the ugly one, mind mate. Fair's fair I'm doing all the work 'ere."

He started to move his hand on his cock, slowly pumping it, sliding the foreskin all the way back, and taking his time. I was glancing away from the road every few seconds now. I dropped the car down a few MPH, and tried not to kill us both.

"Christ mate," I said quietly. "You're gonna get us crashed or nicked."

He shook his head.

"Fuck off y'uptight cunt. Driving through the fuck-all-of-nowhere like this, at this time of night? We're fine."

He wasn't wrong. The road was dark, but it was also mostly deserted. There wasn't a camera for miles, and I hadn't seen a cop-car all night. Gaz's elbow nudged mine as he started to take longer strokes on his dick, swollen now to its full seven-and-a-bit inches. It always reminded me of its owner, stocky and broad and well-built and with a streak of mischief a mile wide, and always getting one or both of us into trouble.

"So there's you being seen to, an' here's me giving' it a bit of 'that's a great cocksucking you're doin' there bloke' an' such an' before you know it the other brother - the older one, the good-looking one - 'as said summat like 'that's not how you suck a dick, *this* is how you suck a dick', an' then there's me getting me prick kissed as well, on the other couch, an' all's well with the world."

There was almost something hypnotic about his voice. His breath was catching a little, and his toss was becoming a little more serious. He slapped his dick against his belly a few times as he worked it, and as I checked it out a string of cum formed briefly between the black-and-white material and his bell end, snapping as he worked his dick back and forth.

"Imagine it mate, two of us, each with our nob in the gob o' one of the two brothers, blokes who've grown up together, bout to be shown the ways of the world by us two cunts. I'll tell you what, I'll start talkin' to the bloke who's sucking us off like, an' I'll be giving it all 'you reckon your boy'll take that cock up 'is arse or you reckon he's chicken?' an' brothers being brothers I reckon he'll take me dick out 'is gob and start saying how his little bro's all mouth an' no trousers an' we'll have a laugh about it."

My own trousers were getting tighter, I've got to say. The smell of Gaz's sex in the car was mixing headily with the fag smoke and the body odour and creating a dangerously potent cocktail.

"Now the little cunt 'ear's this from where he's got his head jammed under y'kilt, an' he's not gonna sit still for it, an' before y'know what's what you've got y'lad on his hands an' knees, arse up, an' he's telling you t'get inside him an' you're sliding right down him an' giving me the thumbs up over his back cause you're so grateful like."

"What's 'is arse like?" I asked, in spite of myself, my voice thick. Gaz paused for a moment in his wank, and then went on again a little faster.

"Why mate it's tight as fuck, an' deep an' tasty, jus' like you like it. I reckon he's had cock in there before but not like yours, not like Big Rob. Tight as an oiled grommet, mate. He's well into it, pushing back like a little slut an' everything. Fuck yeah, imagine that."

I did. I groaned slightly. Gaz heard the groan and started to move his hand a little faster. I started scanning the dark road ahead for a lay-by or a turnoff - any lay-by, any turnoff.

"Me an' 'is brother like, we're egging y'on, telling you t'give it some welly. The brother's sat up next to me on the sofa now, got 'is 'and on my cock and on 'is own, watchin' you ream out 'is little brother, y'both well into it now, we're calling you both cunts an' splitting another beer, 's like our own private sex show, but I'm not done am I? Fuck no, Gaz 'as to get 'is, fair's fair innit?

"So I bet the bloke next to me a gob full of warm piss that 'e can't take cock anywhere near as well as 'is brother can."

He was working himself up now, his hand moving faster and faster and his elbow bumping me as a constant distraction. I took one hand off the wheel and grabbed his wrist, and he stopped wanking immediately, but he didn't stop talking.

"So quick as a flash the bloke 'as 'is pants off an' he's sat on me lap, an' now we're both at it, both got blokes on our dicks, job's a good'un, right? But then ..."

He broke off suddenly.

"You wanting t'hold me hand all night, y'daft cunt? Cause if not I'd appreciate gettin' it back so I can get on with me wankin' Unless y'want to see to it for a bit?"

I pulled his hand away and wrapped my own around in its place. The meat was hot under my hand, the skin smooth as silk over a solid bar of heated iron. I squeezed, moving my hand up and down for a moment, rubbing my thumb around the oozy mess on the tip. I spent a few seconds too long looking down at the winking piss-slit and nearly ran us into a ditch, swerving hard.

Gaz yelped like a stuck pig.

"Fucking hell you dozy cunt! That's my prick not your fuckin' gearstick!"

I let go of him then, the car under control again, praying silently that there were no coppers anywhere hiding behind hedges to see it. I stuck my thumb in my mouth. It tasted so good, the tang of spunk, the hint of cigarette smoke and Lucozade in the spit, and the salty aftertaste of piss. I licked my palm before I grabbed the wheel again as Gaz, muttering about my driving and nearly "pulling Little Gaz out by the root", caressed his prick gently.

I spotted a lay-by, and accelerated slightly as Gaz put both hands back on his dick.

"Where were we? Ah right. Yeah. We're both fuckin' away, two blokes, not for the first time, hey mate?"

He nudged me in the ribs.

"But this time it's different, it's two lads who're from the same stock, y'know what I mean? I'm telling you I can't wait to fuck your one and compare their arses, mebbe you're talking 'bout tasting both their dicks to see which is better, dunno how well play it, dunno how they'll take us talkin' bout them like that.

"So then I bet you I can make my brother come first, an' I know I'm onto a winner cause you're never one t'give a bloke the reacharound are you?"

I growled at him but I was too distracted to care about his jibe. Once, once he had to take care of himself. Well, maybe a few times.

"And so I've got the bloke turned around an' I've got my hand on his prick and I can see what might be its twin bouncing around all loose 'tween the legs of his brother while you slap your balls against 'is arse and ... careful man!"

I'd swerved to a quick stop in the lay-by, slammed the hand break on, and snapped Gaz's seatbelt back fast enough that I'd nearly given his dick whiplash. It was dark in the car but I could see him turning his body towards as I leaned across, sliding one hand under his balls and pushing his shorts down further. My other hand closed over the back of his head and I dragged him in for a snog, but he fought me. He nipped at my tongue with his teeth, pushing it back into my mouth with his own, and we wrestled for a moment before he pushed me away.

I snapped open my seatbelt, my belt, my trouser button and my jeans one after the other, hands shaking a little, unzipped and untucked my tee-shirt, pulling some of the buttons at the bottom of the shirt open at the same time. I lifted my arse up to let me pull jeans and boxers down onto my thighs.

Gaz reached across to grab my cock but I pushed him away, leaning forward in my seat, finding his prick with one hand and licking my tongue hard across the tip, getting a proper taste of it in my mouth before sliding my lips down over the helmet and onto the shaft, twisting round to get a better grip. I felt his hand on the back of my head for a moment, not forcing just touching my neck and the backs of my ears.

The steering wheel wedged against my shoulder, the musky smell of his thighs and his crotch, the darkness in the lay-by, reminded me suddenly, forcefully, of the times in my youth where a furtive suckjob in a car or round the back of some garages was what I thought sex was. This was different to those times, because I was older and knew what I was doing and I was doing it to - with - a man who knew what *he* was doing and who wasn't going to be zipping up and fucking off as soon as one or both of us had chucked their muck. It was still uncomfortable as fuck, and I considered trying to get my door open so I could angle myself round better.

Gaz tried to shift up to give me better access and slipped out of my mouth, the blunt end of his dick jabbing me in the eye. I reared back.

"Fuck sake you twat, what's wrong with you I go down on your dick and you try to blind me?"

"Soft cunt! Gonna have a black eye for the wedding mate," Gaz guffawed, gave me a moment to see if he'd actually hurt me then pushing me back into my seat and swivelling right round, half kneeling up in his seat, crunching crisp packets as he manoeuvred himself round. "What you gonna tell 'em when they ask you how you got it?"

Before I could reply his cold hand closed hard around my dick, and I let out an explosive sigh, almost a groan. He leant in and over. In the dark of the lay-by I could see the shape of his head in front of me, feel his breath on my face, feel the car shaking slightly as he wanked the pair of us into a frenzy. I tried to snog him again but he danced his head back out of my reach and started talking again, matching the jerking movement of his hands to the rhythm of his story.

"So there we are, mate, picture it, there we both are, an' I'm telling your bloke how pitiful it is that his little brother is not being taken care of, while I'm squeezing 'is balls, an' I'm betting that I'll win me bet because you're not seeing to his brother's needs at all, an' your blokes trying to toss himself off with one 'and but keeps slipping forward cause you're slamming Big Rob into his arse so hard, so fuckin' hard."

I was close to shooting my bolt already, grabbed the seat hard and thrust my hips up into his hand, matching his rhythm.

"Jesus fucking Christ don't stop you cunt," I gasped.

"There we are mate, fuckin' em both an' I'm eggin' my fella on; we've got 'em on their knees, 'an before you know it, my bloke 'as given in, he's edged forward a bit, reached across toward 'is brother's cock an' gotten 'is 'and right down where I've got mine now, you like that? He's grabbed his brother's tool for the first time ever and he's tossing him off, an' I'm buried right up in his guts an' you're inside 'is brother an' we're high-fiving it over their backs an' then one of us starts to chuck 'is muck - the big brother, after all man he's got me giving it to him two-handed ain't 'e? An' he's spraying 'is muck on my fist and the carpet and shouting his head off as he busts a nut with 'is brothers wee man in his own hand, and that just sets us all off an' there's cocksnot going all over the shop an' ... fuck man, fuck you cunt, oh yeah"

His hand started to convulse on my cockshaft, and I knew he was coming. I grabbed his shoulders, hard, steadying him and feeling his muscles contracting and twitching. I could feel my balls ready to explode as well. I tried to kiss him for the third time, but even in the throes of a hard, fast orgasm he ducked away and with his hand working his cock and mine in unison he leant right forward into my lap. He slid his head down the side of the steering wheel and I felt his hot mouth slide over the head of my nob, shutting off the flow of his filth for a moment and then I felt like my groin had exploded, filling my mate's gob with thick spunk. I leant right back in my seat, smacking my knees off the steering wheel as I tried to spread my legs out in the confined space of the car.

Gaz sucked me harder, one hand still milking my dick into his gob, the other still busy in his own lap. I let out an explosive breath and felt all the tension of the drive so far drain out of my body and into the hefty builder's mouth.

I reached over him as he sat back slightly into his own seat to flick the overhead light on. He was flushed and catching a glance of my face in the rear-view mirror I could tell he wasn't the only one. We were both breathing heavily as if we'd just run a couple of miles. With a fair helping of my spunk sliming his stubbly chin, he still seemed to have gotten most of my load in his mouth and was swilling it round speculatively, before swallowing noisily. He grabbed another bottle of Lucozade, but I grabbed him first, getting my hand round his head firmly and pulling him back in toward me. I wanted to taste my cock from his mouth, and I wasn't going to be denied. He didn't fight me this time. I held his head in one hand, caressing the spiky hair, while my other slipped round behind him to cup his arsecheek for a moment then slid up under his Newcastle shirt to his hairy back.

He opened to my tongue, no resistance, caressing my chest with one hand while supporting himself in what must be an increasingly uncomfortable position with the other. I took my time and then let him go. He shifted back into his own seat with a little smile on his face.

"Soft cunt," he whispered, vulnerable for only a moment before the protective shield of his masculinity slapped back firmly into place.

"Fucking hell, mate that's woken me right up!" I joked as I tossed him a handful of MacDonald's napkins from the driver-side door compartment. I grabbed some for myself.

Gaz still had his pants down, and was looking at his softening dick as it seeped cocksnot onto his hairy thighs. Most of his jizz had spattered the front of his Newcastle shirt - and not for the first time - but I was briefly worried about whether there was any loose in the car. Gaz's balls can produce a frighteningly copious amount of spunk, and it's ended up in unexpected places more than once, but it looked like this time most of it had sprayed onto his belly and hand.

He didn't bother with more than swiping the napkins over his chin, chucking them over his shoulder in a wadded mass onto the back seat.

He offered me his fingers, and I sucked them greedily into my mouth, tonguing his spunk and our combined cocksweat off them as he tucked his prick back into his shorts.

"You dirty fucker!" I said, cleaning myself off more thoroughly - though truth be told he'd already dealt with most of my spunk, just the few after-thought dribbles needed sorting out. I threw the soggy napkins out of the window as we drove off.

As we got underway, we shared another fag and a couple mouthfuls of Lucozade in companionable silence before he suddenly said:

"An' then we hose em both down with piss."

I blinked.

"What?"

"The brothers. We hose 'em both down with piss. I bet the bloke a gob full of warm piss 'e couldn't take cock as well as his brother. So we hose 'em down."

Too many of Gaz's flights of fancy end like this, with him hosing someone down with piss. It's not a fetish I'm especially into though I've indulged him in the past. I think he just says it by reflex these days.

I laughed at him.

"Daft cunt. You bet him 'e couldn't take cock, and if you've ridden 'is arse like you were saying you know damn well 'e can take' it."

My own accent was coming through a little thicker I noticed. I was still a bit worked up, but feeling much more alert than I had been before Gaz started. Maybe that had been his intention - it occasionally surprises me with what a cunning twat he can be. Beneath his rough-and-ready exterior there's a sharper mind than he likes to let on. He can be sensitive when the mood takes him, though he'd call me a cunt and punch my lights out if I ever said it to him.

"Well then, the three of you can hose me down with piss then for losing the bet. Yeah I can picture that right enough, you with the two brothers stood either side of you spraying me up, three cocks, two of them related and one of them a massive wanker."

"Not the wanker in this car right now, mate." I shot back. He waved that away. As we settled down into easy conversation, he suddenly said:

"You know I was imagining that the brother I was fuckin' was your Jack, yeah?"

I sighed.

"Yeah Gaz, course I do. Twat."

"Yeah, you and me double-teaming that uptight brother of yours, you in his gob cause that's less weird an' me in 'is arse and we high-five over 'is back, too right!"

I shook my head and turned on the radio to drown him out as he started to explain what he'd like to do to Our Jack - the groom at tomorrow's wedding - presumably culminating with him covered in spunk and piss.

As we pulled back onto a motorway, I checked him over again; he was picking bits of drying come out of his stubble and licking his fingers. The front of his tee-shirt and the bulge of his shorts were both dark with drying spunk.

"Mate, you look like a plasterer's radio an' I'm not turning up at the hotel with you looking' like that. We're gonna have t'get you changed."

I started scanning for services or He smirked at me.

"Yeah sure. Mebbe we can have a fuck in the bogs, ey?"

I shook my head at him. The last time we'd done that it had got very touch-and-go indeed and I only managed to head off a call to the police by slipping the clerk fifty quid to fuck off and let us get cleaned up. Gaz thought it was hilarious.

We stopped off at the first service station we passed so that Gaz could change out of his sticky shorts and tee-shirt into some trackies and an England Top he had in his bag. I bought some more fags and another bottle of Lucozade, and got a few odd looks from the manager. I followed Gaz into the toilet where he was getting sorted out in a cubicle, had a quick piss, and went to wash my hands.