Love & Peace Ch. 05

I awoke and stretched out in bed to find Daniel had already gone, the dent in his pillow a lasting reminder of how his body had moulded itself into mine. I rolled over and breathed in his scent, the memories of last night making me feel warm inside.

Today was going to be hard for him and I thought about the meeting at work, the hostility he would face from my colleagues, the guilt I knew he was feeling despite his reputation for ruthlessness. He had come to enjoy his time in the UK over the last few months and I knew he felt a sense of remorse over the decision to make half the workforce redundant.

I padded downstairs to make my coffee and saw his note pinned to the fridge.

"Get dressed up tonight," it said. "A special dinner awaits..."

I laughed and switched the kettle on, willing the hours to fly by until we could be together once again.

*

The day did pass quickly with a visit from my parents and a phone call from Amanda. She was still trying to apologise for her behaviour in the pub but I brushed her words aside and said I understood what new love was like.

"Daniel's gorgeous," she said as we chatted on the phone. "I feel so bad that you wanted to talk about him and I just ignored you..."

"Amanda, I understand. I just want to know what happened to Steve. Has he ever acted like that before?"

"No, I don't think so. But he's always alone. He never seems to have a girlfriend, but he always used to talk about you and how great you are."

I shuddered as remembered the terrible look on his face. "I just want to forget it now, Amanda. I have enough worries with Daniel's wife and his position at work. I'll just put it down to experience."

"Well, we told the police and they'll want to talk to him if he ever reappears. Some friends think he's gone north to stay with his grandparents."

I felt relief that he wasn't around to prey on Amanda and rang off after promising to visit her again at Christmas.

Now, as I soaked in the warm bath I imagined the evening ahead. I wanted so much to be there for Daniel to confide in and to let him relax and be himself.

*

I heard his key in the door as I was putting the finishing touches to my make-up. My eyes, enhanced by subtle powder, sparkled as I anticipated the pleasure of Daniel's company. I chose the simple black dress I had worn to our meal at Oliver's and put my hair up in an elegant bun. I wanted Daniel to be unpinning it at the end of the evening and running his hands through it...

"Hi!" I called as I heard him climb the stairs, his heavy footsteps the first indication that something was amiss.

He stood in the doorway and gazed at me, a serious expression on his face. "Hi, sweetheart. Had a good day?"

"Uh-huh," I giggled and went to take him in my arms, wishing I had waited until he arrived home before applying my make-up and dress. How I wanted to feel him inside me now... his body close and his hands caressing my skin...

I reached up to kiss him, but instead of the long passionate embrace I expected, he brushed my lips with his and held me at arms length.

"What's the matter?" I said, in surprise.

"Nothing," he replied, taking off his tie and running his fingers through his hair. "Bad day, that's all."

"How did it go?"

"Can I tell you after a shower?"

I nodded and sat down on the bed while Daniel undressed. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yeah, great," he called and made his way into the en-suite. I stared after him feeling bewildered. I knew today was going to be bad but I thought he would have been able to tell me about what had happened.

Trying to push the anxieties to the back of my mind, I went downstairs and poured out a generous measure of Scotch. His jacket was slung across the back of a chair and I picked it up to take it back upstairs with me. As I lifted it from the chair a white envelope fell out and I bent to retrieve it, noticing Daniel's name typed on the front. It looked pretty formal and a sudden stab of fear shot through me. Had Jessica been into Jefferson's to tell the other Directors about our relationship?

Daniel had just come out of the shower when I walked back into the bedroom. His dark hair was wet and his broad chest covered in droplets of water as he stood there towelling himself dry. I found my eyes fixed on his body and handed him his drink. He noticed my gaze, a slight smile softening his features.

"What's up?" I whispered, going towards him and running my fingers over his warm skin.

"Nothing. Don't worry."

We stood and gazed at each other, the tension growing between us, and I felt that delicious twist of desire begin to build deep within me.

"You look lovely. Come here a minute."

I went over to him and he kissed me, his lips brushing my cheeks and mouth while I quivered with the sensations running through me.

One of his hands went to caress a breast through my dress and I closed my eyes. I stroked his chest, my fingers catching in the hairs that covered his skin. I gently tugged at the towel until it fell to the floor and looked down to see his erection, the sight of it making my insides melt even more at the thought of him inside me.

"I need you, Kate," he groaned as his hands worked their way up the inside of my dress to my panties. For a special treat I had worn my black basque and stockings and Daniel turned me around and pulled up my dress.

"Kneel on the bed, Kate."

I did as he asked and then he pulled my panties to one side and rubbed the tip of his cock against my moist pussy lips. I moaned out loud as he caressed my soft skin with his hardness, the feeling of anticipation so wonderful as he slipped inside me.

The sex was hard and quick. Daniel thrust into me repeatedly and I pushed back at him, loving the feeling of his body against mine. With the approach of his orgasm, I started to rub my swollen clitoris, feeling the pleasure building inside me as he continued to drive his penis into me, his movements becoming more and more urgent.

"Oh God, Daniel," I moaned and came hard for him, the intense emotion making tears spring to my eyes.

"Yes, now, Kate," he groaned and I felt his warm juices erupt inside me, his cock so deep I felt as if he were part of me. "Oh I needed that. I'm sorry if I was rough."

I turned around and put my arms around his waist, listening to his heartbeat steady. We held each other but I knew something was wrong. Would he tell me? And would he show me the contents of the envelope I had found?

*

The journey to the restaurant was conducted in silence and I desperately tried to get Daniel to open up about the day's events, but he wouldn't.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I just can't say anything at the moment. We haven't finalised the packages and until then, I'd rather say nothing. Do you understand?" He squeezed my hand and I smiled but inside, the first cluster of doubts were beginning to grow. He was too quiet, too preoccupied and there was a distance between us that I couldn't bridge.

The meal was delicious but a heavy air of tension hung over us all evening. I felt like I was going to explode with frustration but kept quiet, not wanting to put any more pressure on Daniel. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but he would tell me in his own time, I was sure. In the meantime I turned the conversation to safer topics, hoping that the mention of Christmas would bring a smile to his face.

"What would you like to do?" I asked, putting my hand up to stroke his face.

Daniel shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea," he said, pouring out another glass of wine for himself. The bottle was almost finished and I felt glad we had taken my car and I was driving.

"I'm not normally one to go mad at Christmas, Kate. I've never enjoyed the season in the past."

"OK, I understand that," I replied. "My parents will expect to see me at some point, but would you like to go away somewhere for a few days?"

Another shrug. "Let's see, shall we? I'd rather wait until the changes are over at Jefferson's."

We finished the meal and Daniel ordered a large brandy to go with his coffee. He gazed at me with a strange look on his face and seemed to want to say something.

"What's up?" I asked gently, holding my breath in the hope that he would confide in me at last.

"Nothing's up, Kate. Stop worrying."
He called for the bill and downed the brandy almost in one gulp. Grimacing as the fiery liquid burned a trail down his throat, he held his hand out to me and helped me into my coat.

"I just want to get home," he almost slurred and I looked at him in surprise, never having seen him drunk before.

Daniel fell asleep in the car on the way home and I kept looking over at his sleeping face, which was more relaxed, the lines of worry having disappeared as he slumped against the headrest. I so badly wanted to help him, but had a horrible feeling that my presence had made his problems so much worse.

*

I awoke the next morning alone again. Daniel had roused himself to undress and get into bed but had slept soundly all night, hardly even moving. I had lain awake for hours, worrying about the future and wondering if I would be able to hold onto his love, the thought of losing him more than I could bear.

I made coffee and tried to call him on his mobile but it was switched off. Not wanting to call him at work, I showered and dressed and decided to shop for a meal in the evening. Perhaps his favourite food would bring him out of this mood he seemed to be in.

I opened the front door of my cottage and froze in shock to see Jessica making her way up the short path that led from the road. She was dressed immaculately in a smart black suit and heels, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders.

"Ah, just the woman I want to see," she said, her blue eyes full of cunning. "Do you have a minute?"

I felt my mouth go dry and my hands start to sweat as I anticipated the conversation that would follow. My heart seemed to be beating out of control and I turned back into the hallway so she couldn't see the expression of alarm on my face.

"Can I come in?" she demanded and I stepped aside to let her into the narrow hallway. "Ah, such a quaint little place you have here, Kate. So very sweet."

"Come into the living room," I said and went ahead of her to stand by the fireplace as she looked around.

"Very cosy...so this is where you fucked my husband, is it?"

I stared at her in shock and she smiled. "Excuse my language, my dear, but I don't take kindly to another woman stealing my husband. Would you?"
"Why are you here, Jessica? I had nothing to do with the breakup of your marriage."

"Oh, I think you did, Kate. I think you went after my husband from the day he arrived at Jefferson's. Isn't that true?"

I stared at her and felt my heart beat faster. It wasn't true, of course. Daniel had been there for at least three months before our meeting and then he'd returned to the States for another couple of months to try and save his marriage. I'd had nothing to do with the divorce, but I realised that trying to convince Jessica of that was a pointless exercise.

"You look so much like her. Has he ever shown you a photograph?"

Jessica moved towards me and I flinched. She took my chin and turned my head, her eyes boring into mine.

"It's like seeing a ghost. How can I compete with a dead woman?"

She seemed to be talking to herself and I shook my head, her touch making me feel uncomfortable. "I'm not pregnant, you know." She looked at me and the hard veneer seemed to fall away. "In fact, I can't have children. I found that out long ago. And you know the stupid thing? I even pretended to take the pill so Daniel wouldn't know! Can you believe that?"

I gazed at her in disbelief. "You're not pregnant?"

She let out a hard laugh. "No, I made it up to see what his reaction would be. He doesn't know I can't have children. How could I tell him that? That not only was I the wrong woman for him, but that I was barren as well?"

I said nothing and she continued. "All through my marriage I lived with the ghost of Louise. Can you imagine what that's like, Kate? Knowing the man you love is in love with another woman? Knowing there's nothing you can do to make him love you like he loved her?"

I sat down on the sofa and tried to take in what Jessica had just told me. Her hard exterior had slipped and I saw a frightened and lonely woman standing before me. "I'm so sorry, Jessica," I whispered, "But I didn't ask to look like Louise. And I never set out to take him from you. I thought your marriage was over."

"So you thought it was acceptable then? Didn't think that we could make a go of it?" She laughed bitterly again, the hard expression back in place. "Oh, Kate, you're so naïve."

She sat down on the edge of an armchair and reached into her bag. "To be honest, though, I don't think our marriage stood a chance. He was too much in love with her. I tried to make it work, giving up my career and following him all over the world. And for what?" She took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. "To lose him to a woman that resembles his dead girlfriend!"

"Anyway, I've finally had enough. You're welcome to him, Kate. But think about this...does he love you for who you are, or who you look like?"

I stared up at her, wondering the same thing myself and watched as she took a long draw on her cigarette. "How were you going to tell him about the baby?"

She shrugged. "Oh, I'd have made something up, I suppose. But that's not a problem now is it? He wasn't happy about it anyway. Too worried about his damn career as usual..."

She laughed again. "Hmm, I may have done something that will hurt him though. And serves him right..."

"What have you done, Jessica?"

She paused before answering and blew out a cloud of smoke. "I paid a little visit to Jefferson's yesterday and had a chat with Daniel's chief executive. Such a friendly man."

"What did you say?" I felt my heart thud again and knew what was coming.

"I think the Directors are more than aware of your little relationship now, sweetie. Has he told you?"

She smiled at the look of shock on my face. "No, I didn't think so, he's too proud to tell you the bad news, isn't he? Pretended everything was OK, did he? Drank too much last night and kept his distance?"

I said nothing and she rose from the chair, flicking a small amount of ash onto the carpet. "You poor thing, Kate. I know him so well. He's a difficult person to live with and the thought of losing his job will be a disaster for him. I doubt your relationship will survive that. He'll blame you forever. His career meant everything."

I started to tremble as I thought back to last night, how Daniel had been so withdrawn. Why hadn't he told me?

She glanced at her watch. "I must go. I won't bother you again, Kate. I've said everything I need to say. Good luck with him. You'll need it. Oh, and don't say I didn't warn you."

I stood and followed her out of the cottage, watching as she stubbed out her cigarette on the path and feeling as if she had snuffed out my happiness along with it.

*

I spent the rest of the day in shock and confusion. Why hadn't Daniel told me what had happened? And what was the outcome of his meeting with Jessica? I tried desperately to get hold of him, but his mobile was switched off, making my feelings of anger and frustration even worse. If she was telling me the truth, did that mean he didn't trust me?

I paced around the house, unable to concentrate on anything, willing him to come home and explain where he'd been and what he'd been doing. Suppose he did something stupid?

I was sitting in the dark living room when he finally returned, the glow from the fire the only source of light. I heard the jangle of his keys as he threw them onto the kitchen table and the fridge open as he pulled out a cold beer.

He appeared in the door, his tie askew and his hair rumpled and messy.

"What's up? Why are there no lights on?"

"Where have you been, Daniel?"

There was a pause. "Work, of course. Where do you think I've been?"

I tried to remain calm. My earlier outbursts had made me think twice about jumping to any conclusions and I wanted to hear his side of the story. "Have you? You're still there?"

"What do you mean? Still there?"

"Jessica came to see me today, Daniel. We had an interesting talk..."

I looked at him and saw the shock I had felt earlier now reflected in his face. He took a long swallow of beer and headed out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

"To get another beer."

Under the harsh light in the kitchen I noticed how tired and rough he looked. He hadn't shaven and lines of worry were etched into his face. "Tell me what's going on, Daniel. Please. I've been imagining all sorts today. I haven't been able to contact you..."

"There's nothing to tell, Kate. It's just difficult at work at the moment, that's all."

"Jessica said she'd been in to Jefferson's to tell your colleagues about our relationship. Is that true?"

He paused and took another long swallow. "You believed her?"

I felt a sudden rush of relief at his words but sensed he wasn't telling me the truth. "Why should she lie?"

"She'd do anything to split us up, Kate. You know that."

I remembered the other side of Jessica I had seen that morning and hesitated. "Please...just tell me the truth, Daniel. How can we have any sort of relationship when you won't open up to me?"

He looked at me long and hard and finished his beer in one gulp. "I need a shower."

I watched him make his way up the stairs and felt a terrible despair. Rummaging through the freezer I pulled out a pizza and switched the oven on. I didn't have any appetite but I made a salad and opened a bottle of red wine to go with dinner. I could hear the shower going and the sound of Daniel moving about, and then silence.

Wanting more than anything for him to take me in his arms and reassure me, I climbed the stairs to see him lying on the bed, a towel wrapped around his waist. He had shaved and I could smell the faint tang of aftershave in the air. I went over and sat on the bed, stroking his chest and gazing at the sight of him lying there with his eyes closed.

"She was telling the truth, wasn't she?"

He nodded and I continued. "She told me about your marriage, Daniel. How she felt she couldn't compete with Louise."

He didn't say anything and I leaned forward and kissed his stomach, loving the feel of his warm, damp skin beneath my lips.

"I just want some reassurance, Daniel," I said. "I don't know who to believe any more."

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "Do you trust me?"

I nodded and bent to kiss him again. His nipples responded to my tongue and he groaned, his hand reaching out for my hair, twisting the long strands between his fingers.

"I need you, Kate. Please don't ever forget that."

"I won't," I murmured and loosened the towel around his waist. My fingers moved from his chest to his penis, which was semi-erect, and I stroked him, wrapping my fingers around his velvety shaft, enjoying the feeling of it growing in my hands.

"Get undressed, Kate," he moaned. "I need this now. Please... just let me feel you."

I did as he asked, but slowly, maintaining eye contact all the time while I stripped down. I took off my bra and licked my fingers before massaging my nipples, making them stand erect and loving the jolt of pleasure I received in my pussy.

He was stroking himself all the while, running his fingers over his erection and pumping up and down in slow deliberate movements. Watching him, I felt myself grow wet, my need for him so bad it made me ache inside. His cock was now standing proud and I lifted one leg over his thighs and straddled him, rubbing the tip of his penis against the wet opening of my pussy. I wanted so badly to have him inside me and all the problems of the day forgotten in a mutual union of bliss.