Love Note Pt. 02

"Snap each move more, gorgeous," Calvin ordered. "You get the idea -- just need to make the moves pop more."

"I thought I was popping more!" Her ponytail swung around to smack her in the face when she suddenly stopped, making her laugh even more.

"You have such a water body it's not even funny. Hiphop needs you to flicker out sharp, precise moves... like shooting flames. Your body flows way too much."

"Her fire's all in her spirit," Will said as he took her shoulders and tried to make her feel how they were supposed to move. "But her body, mm mm mmm..."

Even through the flirting he shook his head with mock disapproval at the way her hips swayed instead of snapping. Ana giggled, fully aware that she was a hopeless case. The lights poured golden streams everywhere, the dancing had raised a sheen of heated exhilaration all over her -- and she was letting go in a way she hadn't done in years. Why had she not allowed herself this freedom more often?

In the next moment she spun straight into Will's chest. He was supposed to sidestep her spin, grab her hand as she passed and then pulled her back.

Ana rubbed her nose. "That was not my fault! I was moving and you stopped -- you're the one in the wrong for sure."

She was laughing, her face turned up to his, but the sound soon died down. Will's face was serious, even hints of concern on it. He wasn't even looking at her anymore.

Ana followed his eyeline to the other end of their dance space. At their tables Thandi and Sabine were engrossed in their hundredth toast. And next to them sat Leo, his eyes on her and Will. They looked as dark as they had that first time she'd seen him watching her from a distance. It still stunned her, the way they changed and depicted his emotions so clearly.

Ana gulped.

A good ten seconds later it dawned on her that she had nothing to be nervous about. And the surreal way in which they had come together did not give Leo the right to act like he owned her.

She turned to tell Will to take the dance from the top with her.

But he spoke before she could. "That was great, Ana -- good moves. But we're done now."

"You can't be serious, Will." She shook her head at how even the words meant for her were said in the direction of Leo who now had his arms crossed. "We're having such a great time and Leo isn't --"

"I don't know what's going on between you two," he finally met her eyes again, "I just know not to get in the middle of it. You're... amazing, Ana. And I won't lie: under different circumstances, I'd be making all kinds of unprofessional moves on you. But, with the way things are right now... I'm not dumb, girl. Being a friend is the best I can hope for -- and even then I have to watch my step."

Lara was calling his name. She was at the bar with Sarah and Khaya, a line of shot glasses in front of them. Will made a circular motion up high with his finger to indicate he'd be 'round there shortly.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't into me," he said. "So, the situation being this way is a good thing. Leo keeping you all to himself leaves the rest of us thinking we might've stood a chance if he hadn't gotten to you first, see?"

Thandi was dancing their way now. Her slick moves paired with her expensive office wear made her look rather cute. Will left to join the other backup singers.

Thandi looped her arms around Ana's neck. "This was a super idea -- I haven't let my hair down in forever. We should let loose again on our Christmas weekend!"

"I don't think your parents have this in mind."

"Okay, we'll skip the alcohol... and the kwaito... and the huge group of strangers," she saluted. "But you'll come this year, right?"

"I'd love to. I haven't seen your folks in years."

"And you must bring your mom."

Ana sighed. "That'll be... fun. You're right, though. She'd love a family weekend."

Thandi's face turned sombre for a moment. Then she grabbed Ana's hand and dragged her out to the now-deserted exterior tables. They sat down in sync and turned to face one another.

Thandi spoke first. "What?"

Ana shrugged.

"What is it, An?"

"Nothing," Ana lied.

"Tell me what it is."

It was nearly eleven o' clock but the night was warm enough feel welcoming. All the nights spent in studio meant it still felt a little odd to Ana to be doing what the regular Friday-nighters were doing. Looking up to see the stars filled her with a blend of peace and gratitude. Things would get crazy again when the sun rose, life would bring hard moments again -- but she liked where she was and what she was doing on that night. And that was special.

"My mom and I still have hard moments," she confessed. "I was worried about spending a weekend with her. And then I realised how selfish I'm being. For the first time in years I'm in a really nice space -- internally, I mean -- and I should be sharing that with her."

"Losing your dad shook the family foundations."

Ana shook her head with a huff. "It's like Andile was the glue holding all the happiness together and, now that he's gone... we don't know what to do with each other."

Thandi took her hands. "I'd say you're getting there."

"The weird part is that the stuff with my dad was all fake -- he was a lying cheat," Ana frowned. "So, why do I still feel so stuck without him?"

"Because you are stuck, ntombi. Just look at your life."

The statement was so random, it made no sense at all to Ana.

She had a good life albeit somewhat crazy and nomadic. Moving around the country doing what she loved was good. More so as she was earning a lot doing so. She had a close friend -- and was now making even more.

"I had fun today," she stated. "I got together with a bunch of people I actually like -- and who like me -- and enjoyed my whole day. Even the unsettling bits earlier. I'm making good money and have built a great reputation. My mom and I have some stuff to sort through, but what family doesn't? We love each other and take care of each other. What the hell is so wrong with my life?"

"You mean you really don't see it? Oh, this is so awesome -- I never get to do the big reveal." Thandi pulled herself straight in her chair, managing to look like a giddy guru. "You feel stuck, lost child, because your life is stuck. You're twenty-seven, An. But you're still living like a varsity kid. Remember our years in res? That's still you now."

"What, immature?"

"No. Stuck. In not having or building anything. You're avoiding growing roots -- you have flat-out banned any form of growing up from your life."

"You're drunker than I realised."

"True -- but I'm also right! You dress like a kid -- some of your stuff is awesome -- but you took it all overboard. You don't own any property or have a place you consistently call home. You're better than me at what we're doing here... so, why am I the one with my name on that office floor?"

"I have what I need."

"An, you won't even commit to owning a car. A car -- and you really need a car." Thandi lifted her chin. "You're afraid of any type of commitment. It's easy to see in the way you avoid falling in love -- but your dad scared you out of all commitment, not just relationships. And now life is ticking by while you remain stuck as the eighteen-year-old girl who'd just learnt about pain and betrayal on a level no one should have to."

Ana stared at her.

She felt her automatic defensiveness rise, but didn't let it out. "I don't know if I agree with any of what you just said, but I don't feel like arguing either way. I'll think about it... and maybe punch you later."

Thandi grinned. "Bad decision. I'll be sober later and able to punch back."

"I should get your wonky arse home."

"Nah, it's okay -- I ordered one of those 'drive me home' services." Thandi let Ana pulled her back up. "The guy will be here in a few minutes. I think."

"I hear there's a hunky shirtless version of those that started up recently."

Thandi gasped wide-eyed. "Sabine was just saying the same thing! I'm intrigued... but also disturbed. Hiring a driver on sex appeal is a little gross, isn't it?"

"Like hiring waitresses based on tit size?" Ana cocked an eyebrow at her friend.

"Ew, sies. Like that, yes," Thandi grimaced. "Well, let's go get our stuff. Our fully dressed driver will be here soon. Sabine, Kyle and Eddie are also coming over."

"You're joking."

"Don't you just wish I was?" Thandi scrunched her little button nose in delight. "But they really are. We're gonna have a nightcap."

"I can only bow my head in a minute of silence for your liver," Ana sighed. "But I'll have to catch up with you later. I have something I need to deal with first."

"And might that be --?"

"Nothing."

"And is 'nothing' really tall with golden eyes and a voice that could melt a dead nun's resolve?"

"Why would anyone want to entice a dead nun...?"

"I mean a voice that could raise a deaf nun from the grave?"

"That's just so many kinds of wrong I'm actually a little scared now."

"That could make a nun --"

"What is this sudden obsession with nuns??"

"Jade then! A voice that could melt even that severe Jade lady! Is it, huh? Is it?"

Ana stopped just outside the restaurant door. "I'll see you at home, Thands."

It was nearly closing time and the staff were tidying up. A couple other patrons had taken over their impromptu dance space and fairing no better than Ana had. The wine in her veins added to the heat of the night, infused her slow steps and fuelled her courage.

Leo was listening to Sabine recount tales of old tours. The band members were hanging onto her words, wide-eyed. Kyle shrugged in exaggerated innocence when asked if the crazier details were true. Everyone kept trying to draw Leo into the conversation, but he wasn't saying a word.

His eyes met hers as she reached their table.

"I think it's time to head home now," she said. "Don't you?"

"Thandi's given all of us her address," Kyle responded from somewhere to her left. "Eric and Leo will follow you and Thandi. I'll bring Sabine."

"No, I think Eric best ride with Thandi and the driver," Ana replied, her eyes still on Leo. "Leo will be taking me home."

The group suddenly went quiet. Strange looks were being exchanged but no one worked up the nerve to ask the questions shooting through their minds.

Ana finally looked around the rest of the group. "I just have something to discuss with Leo."

Disjointed murmurings and nods were offered up a little too quickly.

"This is why I knew I will like you, Anaïs," Sabine, who had put back the most cognac, appeared entirely unaffected by it. "You are straight like an arrow. Direct eyes, direct actions. Very good."

***

Once the bill was paid, the group left together. Leo let Ana step out ahead of him, touching her back as she passed him.

She picked up her pace.

Ana led the way to his car because she didn't know how to walk beside him with everyone watching them. She held onto her bag with both hands, trying to come up with something to say to him.

The night was so warm.

"Slow down, Anaïs."

Well. He certainly knew how to demand what he wanted.

She turned to look over her shoulder, but marched on. He was a few steps behind her -- by choice, she now realised as she took in his languid steps -- his hands in his pockets, his sleeves rolled up. The sight of his forearms and the column of his throat made her frown. She was starting to worry that she stood no chance -- not against this man, but against her feelings for him.

"Come on, sweetheart."

She stopped. "Why do you call me that?"

He came to stand before her. "Terms of endearment are used to depict fondness for another."

"But the way you say it..."

His eyes dropped to her lips. "What about it?"

"You need to stop scaring Will the way you did inside there." She looked back in the direction of the restaurant, but there was no one in sight. "He's a nice guy who likes having laughs."

"I wasn't trying to intimidate Will, Anaïs." He crossed his arms like he did earlier. "Not that I'd pretend to be okay with him flirting with you either."

"No jealousy between us, remember? You don't own me, Leo. And I don't like you acting like you do."

He ran a palm down his face then stared down at his feet for a minute. She wondered if she'd angered him.

In silence, he took her hand and led her the rest of the way to his car. A few other cars were parked nearby and a couple was walking towards one of them. The man nodded in greeting, in acknowledgement of seeing another couple returning from a date. The woman smiled briefly at Ana.

She still couldn't fathom why people had such an easy time seeing her and Leo as a couple.

Leo walked her to the front of the Audi and steered her hips with his hands until she sat down on it. He nudged her up the hood -- then bent to take off her shoes and place them next to her. Her aching feet instantly tingled with relief. Too many butterflies were fluttering in her stomach -- wariness at his mood change, warmth at thoughts of them as a couple, and the unavoidable sparks his touch always ignited.

He stood up straight and watched her for a minute before speaking. "Melissa used to confront me about everything I did and everyone I spoke to. She would not have handled those fans earlier as confidently as you did, believe me. It took me a really long time to realise nothing I did would be enough, nothing would assuage her. The kind of peace she needed had to come from herself."

Ana immediately felt bad. "Oh, Leo, I'm not saying that. I don't think you're insecure."

"I know." He stepped closer. "My point is that I think I understand something about her now that I didn't get at all back then. Couples are people who have chosen each other. Melissa kept expecting me to prove that I had chosen her. I really believed that I had and that I was happy with my choice. I believed it was the stresses of my industry that were driving her crazy. But now..."

"Now?"

"I left music because my life was shattered five years ago and I no longer believed in any of the things I sang." He reached out to run his fingertips through the twists falling over her shoulder. "Now I'm glad I didn't give up completely. Some things aren't easy... but I like where my steps have brought me. I'm learning that there may be way more to love than I'd ever known or chosen before."

She shook her head. "That word rolls far too easily off your tongue, Boreas."

"I sing it thousands of times a year -- or I used to." There were hints of humour in his eyes though his lips didn't curl. "And one of the things I'm learning now is what it feels like to consider choosing someone who holds little interest in choosing me."

She took a deep breath. "I'm starting to wonder if I've ever known how to choose anything at all."

"You could choose one day at a time."

"Simple enough." Her chin lifted. "And we're still calling it 'choosing', are we? Even though you made it abundantly clear that you consider us bonded whether or not I choose this? Even though you scare off friends who get a little too close to me?"

"I might have a possessive streak, but I'm not the jealous type, sweetheart." His shoulders were pushed back as if he was facing a challenger. "When we walked into that place earlier, I could tell that you weren't even aware of all the men staring at you. More people watched you than me, Anaïs. I never get mad at being the man they wished they could be, the one by your side. All they could think about was what I get to do with you -- to you -- after we leave. Will is one of those people enviously wishing he was standing between your parted legs right now, figuring life out with you."

She shifted higher up the hood, shaking her head. "You expect me to believe that? Random strangers had the hots for me, huh? Come on, guy. There are better ways to deflect the conversation away from the death glares you were shooting at a sweet kid whose only offence was dancing with me."

"I wasn't watching Will, sweetheart. I was watching you with Will." He leaned down, palms flat on the metal, and pressed his lips to hers. It was a simple kiss, one that reminded her too much of his caring side. "The way your body heated up as you danced with him, and the way your sweat made your top cling to you... and show everything. You were radiant, having such a good time. And all I could think about doing was stripping you and lifting you up onto my hard cock. Right there."

Ana leaned back, all the way down on her elbows, as if too close to a heat source.

Leo followed her parted lips, leaning over her. He didn't kiss her again, but he kept close.

The picture he painted in her head made her roll her hips forward, trying to press her hot pussy to the cool hood and quiet its escalating hum.

Then, of their own accord, her lips were seeking his again... but he held back just enough to make her lean in the rest of the way. His hand gripped a hip and held her in place when her tongue slipped between his lips. She felt him drink her sweetness in like a starved man. The intensity of his hunger tipped her head back, pushing her tits up at him. He pressed against her and groaned when he felt her core against his erection. Ana lifted what she could to press herself against his hardness as she moaned into his mouth.

An approaching car interrupted their spell -- but Leo didn't let go of her. He stayed pressed against her. Ana could only imagine what they looked like to outsiders: a lustful woman draped on a sleek black car, designer heels lying beside her... and one hell of a hot man between her legs, his lips trailing along her collarbone.

The couple that had greeted them earlier drove by, the man's eyes wide and staring longer than politeness allowed. His wife hissed his name sharply then they were gone.

Ana giggled into Leo shoulder.

His arms went around her as he moved his lips to her forehead. Ana wrapped her arms around his neck, loving the way they fit together. If only it was as simple as holding each other and never having to feel scared or lost...

"Let's get you home." His lips were now pressed to her temple. "Thandi will be wondering if we've been abducted."

"But aren't we...?"

He looked down. "Aren't we what, Anaïs?"

She couldn't hold his gaze as she noticed something begin to swirl in its depths. Her mouth got no further words out, all that was left was the new heat rising up her throat and into her cheeks. Thank heavens for dark skin.

"And that's exactly why I'm taking you home." He wasn't angry. His understanding felt worse than accusation. "You have a way of coming to me yet never taking that last step, you never say what you want. It's time you start getting honest with me -- and yourself."

"I have told you what I want," she whispered. "I told you right from the beginning that I... I need to find a way to shake this thing between us because I'm not in love with you."

"There's a difference between not having any feelings and wishing what you are feeling away." He wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck. "You have some demons to wrestle -- but make no mistake: I'm not one of them. So, stop telling yourself I am."

The night had gone completely quiet, wrapping them in a bubble of warmth and longing. Ana's heart twisted a little as she smothered a flickering hope that he would insist on taking her to his Sunninghill home instead of the Hyde Park apartment. He would do it if she asked him to, of course.

But with those words came opening her heart to words he said far too devastatingly.

This man wasn't like any of the others. She couldn't play with certain words around him -- not unless she meant them. And who the hell knew what she meant these days...?