Love on the Farm

"My goodness. You've become a regular Martha Stewart," Jeanne teased.

"Oh, this is a simple one. Wait till you see some of things I've got planned for your visit."

Jeanne was starting to wonder if she could be any more surprised by the changes in Diana.

They lingered over a leisurely dinner for ages, drinking their wine and talking as only two friends of many, many years can talk.

And they laughed. God did they laugh. Diana thought she hadn't laughed like she did that day for...well, she couldn't remember the last time.

Diana fed more wood to the fire, and they read a little more, until Jeanne realized that her eyelids were getting heavy.

"Who knows what time it is, but I think I'm getting ready to turn in, Di."

"Of course, Jeanne. That's the idea; go to bed whenever you're tired."

Jeanne rose and crossed to Diana, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and said, "Thanks again, so much. I've had a wonderful day. This is just what the doctor ordered."

Smiling, Diana said, "It is, isn't it?"

Then Jeanne remembered. "Damn it. A whole day of doing nothing, and I still haven't gotten my things from the car."

She sighed and headed for the door. But before she could open it, Diana's arms slipped around her from behind and stopped her.

"And that's been a problem because...? Go to bed, sweetie, and try to let go of these things."

Jeanne's instinct was to protest. After all, she needed those things. But as she stood there with Diana's arms around her, it was almost like she could feel the calm flowing from Diana's body to hers. And she realized that Diana was right. She'd gotten along just fine today, and another night wouldn't make any difference. She turned in Diana's arms until they were facing, and, smiling a little sheepishly, said, "You've had more practice at this relaxing thing than I have." With that she gave Diana a squeeze, rested her head on her shoulder for just a second, and said good night.

* * * * *

Jeanne didn't know what time it was when she woke up to her second morning at the farm, but it was certainly earlier than her first. She could tell from the bright sunlight streaming through her windows at a fairly low angle. One of her windows was already opened part way, letting in a slight breeze with that clean, refreshing morning-after-a-rainstorm scent that you just don't get in the city. Since when was Diana an early riser, she wondered?

She went through her morning routine again, vowed that she was going to unpack, so that she would have her own makeup and the right things to fix her hair, and returned to her room to find a fresh set of clothes on the chair. This morning, there were jeans again, but Diana had given her a white scooped-neck tee shirt with elaborate embroidery at the sleeves and neckline. Very pretty, but it gave a little more urgency to the bra issue. And the underwear! If anything, it was even fancier than yesterday's. Sexy, even. Where did Di think she was going?

Again this morning, breakfast and coffee were ready for her downstairs.

"Good morning! How did you sleep?" Diana asked.

"I don't remember when I've slept as well as I have the last two nights. There's something...I don't know, relaxing, about this place. Peaceful, I guess."

Teasing, Diana said, "It's not all the place, you know."

"Oh, I didn't mean that! You've been terrific!"

"I know you didn't mean that, sweetie." And Diana grinned. "I was just teasing."

"Well, you have. You must have things to do besides baby-sit me."

Diana looked into Jeanne's eyes and said quietly but firmly, "I came up here to figure out what was important and what wasn't, and to concentrate on the important stuff. Right now, the important stuff is you."

Jeanne wasn't sure why that touched her so much, but she felt tears welling up as she hugged Diana. "You're such a good friend, Di."

"You've been there for me, don't forget."

Jeanne hesitated to break the hug. She was acutely aware of Diana's warmth; the texture of her shirt; her scent; the protected feeling of this embrace. "This is just about perfect. How about if you just hold me like this for a week or two?"

"Jeanne, I'll hold you as long as you like."

On one level, that was the perfect thing to say, just what Jeanne wanted to hear. But on another, it was a bit over the top for a friendly hug, and they were both a little surprised and embarrassed by it. Jeanne started to untangle from the hug, and Diana dispelled the awkwardness by changing the subject to breakfast.

Over breakfast, Jeanne remembered to ask, "By the way, what's with this underwear you're giving me? This might be the most expensive pair of underwear I've ever had on!"

There was a hint of a blush when Diana answered, "That's all I have now."

Jeanne's eyebrows were raised a bit when she asked, "You dress like this every day?"

"Jeanne, when you don't see another soul for days on end, it's easy to let yourself start looking like a slob." With that, Diana stood up from the table, unbuttoned the top of her jeans, unzipped, and pointed to the front of yet another pair of super-expensive, super-sexy underwear. "When the first thing you put on in the morning looks like this, believe me, you're a lot less likely to let yourself go."

Jeanne's gaze couldn't leave that small triangle of white. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt warm. What was this? She had seen Di changing lots of times. So why was this so arresting? So...sexual?

Diana seemed to feel it too, since she turned away to zip up, and changed the subject.

"I thought if you're up for it," Diana said, "we'd take a tour of the farm today. The weather's just about perfect for it."

"Sounds terrific."

"You'll have to help me with some chores this morning, and we'll go after lunch. Deal?"

"Of course. I'd feel better if I was doing something to earn my keep."

"It's not a matter of earning your keep, you goof. It's just getting to the fun stuff quicker."

"Well then, we'd better get busy," Jeanne said with a smile, as they started clearing up.

Moving dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, Jeanne accidentally splashed herself, creating a big wet spot on the front of her shirt. Oh, great, she thought. Just the thing when you're wearing a white shirt with no bra.

"Which reminds me," she said, sticking her chest out in what she hoped was a comical manner. "I havegot to get out to the car to get a bra."

"Not for me, you don't," Diana replied, matter-of-factly. "I wish mine were your size so I could say to hell with a bra more often."

"You don't mean that. You know I'd trade with you in a heartbeat."

"I do mean it." Diana reached out to Jeanne and touched the side of her wet breast with her fingertips, assessing it frankly. "I think they're perfect. You look good like that, you should go that way more often."

There it was again. Jeanne knew she hadn't meant it the way it sounded, but still, she blushed pretty hard, and she was surprised to feel her nipples blossoming. And not the blossoming that you get from the cold and don't feel anywhere else, either.

* * * * *

They spent the morning cleaning, doing laundry, vacuuming, doing the mundane things it takes to keep a house running. Diana went outside to do some things, and when Jeanne went out to ask her a question, she found her behind the house, doing something or other with a compost pile. Jeanne found that pretty shocking; back in the city she would have bet that Di wouldn't know a compost pile if she was standing in the middle of one.

When the morning was over, though, Jeanne still had not gone to unpack her car. She knew she should, but on some level she didn't want to. On another, she felt like Diana didn't want her to, and although she didn't understand why that was important to her, it was, if she was honest with herself. Jeanne found the whole thing puzzling, yet somehow it seemed better not to examine it too closely.

When they met in the kitchen at the end of the morning, Diana asked, "What would you say to packing our lunch? There's a terrific spot for a picnic up on the hill, and I've wanted someone to share it with."

"Sounds wonderful."

They assembled a classic picnic, with fruit, cheese, bread, and wine.

"Ready to go?" Jeanne asked.

"Well...almost," Diana said. But she was looking at the floor and fighting laughter. "Except, thisis a farm, you know."

Looking down, Jeanne realized the cause of Diana's amusement, and she had to chuckle too. She was still wearing the shoes she had driven here in; little loafers with tassels. Very cute, but entirely wrong for tramping around the countryside.

"I've got something better packed," she said. "I'll go get them."

"No."

Just no. But it had popped out without Diana thinking about it.

"Wait," Diana said, and she went to a mat by the door and got Jeanne a pair of those rubber L.L. Bean shoes. "These will be better."

They probably were better. But there was something else going on, under the surface, and it had to do with unpacking. Apparently they both felt it. It was like unpacking would change something that neither of them wanted changed.

* * * * *

They decided to picnic first and finish the tour later, since they were both hungry. They walked up the little farm lane that led up the hill, and just past the top when the lane curved left, they turned off onto a path to the right. They walked through a small stand of trees, and out into what was, indeed, a terrific spot for a picnic. It was a sort of shelf in the side of the hill, covered in grass, and looking out over a view that stretched for miles. The sun was warming it nicely, and there was a little stream at one end, nearly overflowing from yesterday's rain, and creating a lovely, delicate sound.

"Wow," Jeanne said. "You weren't kidding -- this place is gorgeous. How did you ever find it?"

"You do a lot of walking," Diana replied, "when you're alone for days on end trying to figure your life out. Let's eat," she said, pulling a blanket out of her pack.

They lazed around, nibbling on their picnic and drinking the wine, talking sometimes, and other times just being quiet together and enjoying the view. The gentle breeze, the wine, the warm sun, and the stream bouncing over rocks combined to relax both of them better than a long massage would have in the city. When Jeanne lay back to enjoy the feel of the sun, she nodded off.

Diana moved close to her friend and gently pillowed Jeanne's head in her lap. She sat staring out over the valley but not seeing it, deep in thought and toying unconsciously with Jeanne's hair.

Diana knew it had been good for her to come up here. Until the past few days, she would have said she was doing very well, that she was happy, and that she felt more centered than she had in years. But it had been different the last few days. Before Jeanne got here, Diana had been visiting. Now, she felt she was home. The slight weight of Jeanne's head in her lap was as comfortable as a well-worn pair of sneakers.

She didn't know what was more surprising, the fact that she felt like this at all, or the fact that a woman had brought it on. She had never in her life had the slightest romantic feeling for a woman. Was that what this was? Sure, she loved Jeanne, but there's love and then there's love.

But one thing she had worked hard on since she came up here was acknowledging her feelings and not fighting them, and right now her feelings were that she did not want this to end. Yet, it had to - didn't it?

She gradually realized that she had made a decision that this felt entirely too right to walk away from. She wasn't quite sure what that meant, but she decided that while she wasn't going to push Jeanne into anything she didn't want, she was going to follow this where it lead rather than running from it.

Jeanne woke up slowly, feeling terrific, and taking a long, slow stretch. As she opened her eyes, Diana's face was above her, looking into her eyes and smiling softly. Jeanne had a thought that surprised her: She had always thought Diana was the prettier of the two of them, but with the sun behind her head making a flaming halo of her auburn hair, and a soft smile that seemed to originate deep within those shining green eyes; it suddenly struck Jeanne that Di was stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful.

"Nice nap?" Diana asked. She brushed the hair from Jeanne's forehead with her fingertips.

"Mmm. Very. I didn't mean to do that, though. Sorry."

"I'm not. It's great to see you relax like that," Diana smiled, still toying with Jeanne's hair.

"Relaxed isn't the word for it. I can't tell you how much better I'm doing than I was a couple of days ago."

"You don't have to tell me. I can see it."

"I guess I should start to think about how long I'm staying."

The comfortable feeling Diana had been enjoying had suddenly been dealt a blow. "Why? Do you feel like leaving?"

Jeanne was surprised by the amount of concern in Diana's voice. "God no! Leaving is the last thing I feel like. But I have to sometime. How long are you staying?"

"Well, no, you don't have to. And I'm not sure how long I'm staying. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure whether I'm going back at all."

"What do you mean I don't have to? I do sooner or later, sweetie, and so do you. This place is heavenly, but picnicking on a hillside doesn't pay the bills."

"Well...that's just it. I don't absolutely have to go back to work. Turns out my great aunt was a much better investor than anybody ever dreamed."

"You're kidding! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I, um...I guess I haven't adjusted to it. I don't really know how to tell people. Besides, I don't mean I'm filthy rich. But I do have enough now that I could be pretty comfortable without working."

Jeanne reached around her friend's waist and gave it a squeeze. "Di! That's terrific! I'm so happy for you."

"I'm happy about it too, mostly. But it does create some questions about how to live the rest of me life. Like where to live it, for instance."

"But you have the time to decide all of that with no pressure!"

"Oh, believe me, I appreciate that," Diana said. "But..."

"But? What, Di?"

"Oh, it creates problems of its own. I'll figure it out. Ready for a walk?"

* * * * *

They took a lazy stroll around the farm. Diana's aunt had leased a lot of the fields to a neighboring farmer, so it still looked like a working farm, and the air had that earthy country smell that somehow seems to get down into your bones. At this time of year, the corn was cut, and little stumps of dry corn stalk bristled from the ground like a two-day growth of an old man's beard, but at least they could see across the fields. Another field, closer to the neighbor's place, held a few cows.

Jeanne kidded, "What's with the cows? I didn't hear you go out milking this morning."

"They're the neighbor's too," Diana laughed. "Dairy cows, they tell me. I didn't know a thing about stuff like that before I came up here, but I'm learning fast."

At the edge of the pasture they came to a stone fence, probably as old as the farm.

"There's a gate," Diana said, "but it's pretty far down the fence. We can get over it."

Diana backed up to the fence, and boosted herself a bit until she was sitting on it. Then she gave Jeanne her hand and helped her up that far as well. When they were both up, she turned her legs around and slipped off the other side. Taking Jeanne's hand again, she guided her down to the ground on the other side. "You're doing okay for a city girl," she laughed.

They laughed and teased each other as they headed off, down through another field toward the house, but somehow their hands stayed together, and, in absolutely no hurry, they walked hand-in-hand down the lane until they came to the old barn.

Is seemed huge to Jeanne, several times bigger than the house, and she commented on that.

"That's how they did things in those days," Diana explained. "The barn was the business end of things. It kept you fed, and clothed. Come inside, let me show you."

It had seemed natural to walk hand-in-hand down the lane, something you could tell yourself that any two close friends might do. But now, going through the door into the barn, there was a slightly awkward spot, where the natural thing would have been to release each other. It didn't happen.

They walked into the center of the barn, and Diana pointed to things and explained to Jeanne how a barn worked. Mostly, Jeanne listened, but she couldn't entirely ignore the warm softness of the hand holding hers.

"See, the hay would be up there, and they would toss it down to the animals."

"How do you know this stuff?" Jeanne wondered out loud. "You used to think you were roughing it if you didn't get your nails done on time."

"You'd be amazed how willing a farmer is to talk about this stuff on a rainy day."

Teasing, Jeanne said, "How willing he is to talk about this stuff to a pretty girl, you mean."

"Oh; I don't know about that," Diana said; but she was smiling a little as she said it.

"Well, I do," Jeanne said, and they looked into each other's eyes for what got to be just a hair too long. Then longer still, until it was clear that neither of them wanted to break away.

"We should probably get back," Diana said just above a whisper, and the spell was broken. "The neighbors said they would come by with the rent check. They worry about a city girl being alone out here, and if they see our cars there but can't find us, they'll probably call out the bloodhounds or something."

Jeanne said. "Yuck. That sounds just like a stereotype: nosy neighbors."

"No," Diana said, thoughtfully. "I started out thinking that way, but I've decided it's kind of sweet. People just watch out for each other more out here. They sort of have to."

As they exited the barn and started back for the house they disengaged their hands. Diana was surprised that the absence of someone's hand could be so palpable, and she wondered at how much she missed it.

It crossed Jeanne's mind that she was no closer to knowing how long she was staying than she had been when she woke up this morning.

* * * * *

As they started toward the house, a dusty pickup truck pulled in. A man and a woman, probably in their fifties and definitely in work clothes, climbed out and went to the door.

They knocked: then waited a bit: then knocked again. When they didn't get an answer, the girls could tell they were talking for moment. Then they started around the house, peeking in windows.

"See," Diana said. "Told you they would be worried."

"Oh my God," Jeanne replied. I don't know how you stand it."

"It's a different way of thinking in the country," Diana explained with an indulgent smile. "They mean well. Besides, who else would know if something happened to me up here?"

They were quiet as they walked down to the house. Diana was concerned that her remark about being alone here had sounded like she was asking Jeanne for something. She hadn't meant it that way. And indeed, Jeanne did find it somehow disturbing to think of Diana being up here alone, needing someone for some emergency, and being dependent on these strangers. She had worried about friends before, Diana included, but this was different. This bothered her on some sort of deeper gut level, and she vowed that after she left she would stay in closer contact with Diana.

Diana called out to the neighbors, and when they turned and saw the two girls, you could tell the smiles on their faces were genuine, and contained an element of relief. Di was right, Jeanne thought, it was hard to be mad about a thing like that.

Introductions were made all around. Jeanne learned that Sue and Dale were from the next farm down the road, and they learned that she was an old friend from the city.

She found herself saying, "I'm glad Di has you folks looking after her," and there seemed to be some question in the look Diana gave her.