Lucifer's Apology To Mankind

We did it. Finally, we made the humans pay for what they've done. Stealing the love of our Father from us. For centuries we encouraged them to wage war against one another. We encouraged them to slaughter each other over questions of race, religion, territory, ideology and nationality. And in the end, we succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. There are only ten thousand human beings left on the planet Earth, spread across the battered remnants of metropolitan Detroit, State of Michigan. Soon, very soon, we shall descend upon them and slaughter them.

The Army of Heaven descended upon the planet Earth in the Last Days, and I was proud to lead them. For I am the Archangel Michael. Anyone looking at me would see a six-foot-three, lean and athletic Caucasian male in his early twenties with long blond hair and pale blue eyes. Since the Beginning, I've been God's Warrior and the Commander of the Heavenly Host. In the old days I waged war against my brother Lucifer and defeated him because it was what the Lord commanded. These days, I am happy to say that I'm no longer following orders. I do whatever I want. When I want. Where I want. To whoever I want. When you've been taking orders since the dawn of time, the sudden feeling of freedom can be intoxicating. And I must say that I like it very much.

Besides me stands my most faithful ally, the Archangel Gabrielle. She's really something. One of our very best. Five feet eleven inches tall, slender and wiry, with dark bronze skin, short spiky Black hair and hazel eyes. Gabrielle has always had my back, in the vernacular of twenty-first-century North Americans. I remember when we faced the Legions of Lucifer together. One third of Heaven walked out with him when he decided to rebel against God. And as Archangels of the Lord, Gabrielle and I were called upon to defend the Kingdom of Heaven after our colleague the Archangel Raphael opted to join forces with the Devil. We did our duty, defeated the Dark Angels and trapped Lucifer in the Pit of Hell. What no one will ever tell you is that I didn't enjoy it. Especially since I partially agreed with Lucifer's viewpoint.

Lucifer wasn't the only Angel who thought Our Father had gone overboard when He decided to give Adam and Eve control of the planet Earth. He gave those hairy little freaks more than he ever gave us, the Sons and Daughters of Heaven. Does that seem fair to you? I don't expect you to understand. All I can say is that these days I feel free. The humans went from a population of seven point two billions to merely ten thousand. They hide out in the catacombs underneath what used to be the City of Detroit, for they know what's out there now. They know that Angels from Heaven have come to destroy them. And there is absolutely nothing they can do about it. I want to destroy them so badly. However, revenge is a dish best served cold. And I want to savor it for as long as I can.

The ultimate defeat of humanity by the Angels is all that's left for me in all of existence. For when the last human dies, we Angels shall unmake Creation. Collectively, we should have enough power to undo what God has done. I know we can do it. We were there when Our Father summoned the Universe into existence. While we lack His raw power, we are quite mighty and can do all kinds of things. If we work together, we can unmake the world and return to the Before, where we belong. Angels never much cared for Creation anyway. We were happier with the immaterial nothingness that came before. Creation was willed into being by God for man and woman. Without them, it has no purpose for existing. We shall return to the Before, and finally, we shall have peace.

As I speak to you, I am well aware that in the ruins of Detroit, Michigan, the humans are gathering. Bishop Antoine, a charismatic preacher from Atlanta, Georgia, is speaking to the gathering of men and women surrounding him. They came from all over. African Americans. Chinese. Hindus. Arabs. Native Americans. After finally realizing that the God they once called Yahweh, The Most High, Allah, and all that jazz abandoned them in their darkest hour, atheism spread like wildfire among Christians, Jews, and yes, even the hardline Muslims. How could they believe in God when winged men and winged women with flaming swords flew in the skies, destroying everything in sight? Kind of tough to believe in a Creator that wants to destroy you. The more atheism spread among what was left of humanity, the weaker they got and the stronger us Angels became.

Bishop Antoine seemed to be the only one who figured that out. He held in his hand a Bible, a Torah and a Koran. He spoke to the assembly, telling them that the One True God loved them all. I almost laughed at that from the mountaintop on which I stood. Yes, He does love the hairy little freaks. However, my kind and I are eternal. Humans are mortal. They're worthless, and soon they will be extinct. Humanity no longer matters. I looked at Bishop Antoine. The chubby Black man seemed to vibrate with zeal as he spoke about the wise men whom God used to help mankind. Noah and the fools he led into the Great Ark. Jesus Christ and his devoted if occasionally unmotivated Disciples. The Prophet Mohammed and his zealous but often misguided and ill-informed Followers. I wanted to burn Bishop Antoine but his death would only turn him into a martyr in the eyes of his buddies.

Bishop Antoine continued to speak, and uttered what no mortal has ever figured out. The meaning of the word Trinity, which is embraced by Christians but rejected by Jews and Muslims. Trinity referring to God in three. Jews rejected the idea of Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Muslims accepted that Jesus Christ was a prophet but rejected any idea of divinity having anything to do with him. As usual, the Christians, the Jews and the Muslims were all wrong. The meaning of Trinity in God's eyes refers to the Three Great Houses. Judaism. Christianity. Islam. Three interconnected but ever-warring faiths. Three branches of the same thing. All of them equal. None better than the other. Trinity meaning that all Christians, Jews and Muslims are God's offspring. People of the same Book broken into three equally important pieces. When Bishop Antoine said this, murmurs of disbelief rose among the crowd of Jews, Christians and Muslims. The Bishop ignored them and went on.

I gestured to Gabrielle, and she followed me to the ruins of Detroit, Michigan. The humans gasped with fright as we descended among them. I could have snuffed the life out of all of them with my Blade of Fire. However, I felt like tormenting them first. The Bishop looked at me defiantly. In a stern voice, he told me that I no longer deserved the title of Angelic Host Commander. He told me I was more evil than the Devil. At that, Gabrielle and I laughed. We were still laughing when the earth began to shake. Suddenly, gusts of flame erupted from the ground. Something shot out of the earth. Something shaped like a man. The human-shaped thing coalesced into human form, and morphed into a tall, broad-shouldered and athletic Black man with a goatee. Clad in a red loincloth, he glared at the Bishop then at Gabrielle and I. Well, I smiled. Hello Lucifer, I said. The Devil looked at me and grinned. Upon hearing that, the various humans began whimpering in fear. They were crossing themselves or kissing the floor or whatever.

Lucifer looked at me. He unfurled his magnificent dark wings, and told me and Gabrielle that if we didn't depart this place, he'd kick our asses. I laughed. Same old Lucifer. So prideful. All of his rebel angels were trapped in Hell, unable to attack Heaven or come to Earth. He was alone against the millions of Angels who once made up the Army of the Lord. Now they were my troops. The Supreme Army of Michael the Archangel. Me. Lucifer shook his head, and told me that I was insane. Then he clapped his hands, and suddenly, Gabrielle began to scream. Blood dripped from her nose, and she leapt at Lucifer. The Devil struck her, and sent her flying. She crashed on the side of a mountain, a hundred miles away. I found myself alone against the Devil. Without hesitation I drew my sword. Lucifer didn't draw his. Instead, he walked up to me and told me he was sorry it had come to this. In spite of myself, I was curious. So I asked him what he was talking about. Lucifer sighed sadly, and told me he had come to earth solo to defend mankind. He wanted to redeem himself in the eyes of God. I think my jaw almost hit the floor.

All around us, the humans watched the interaction between Lucifer and myself. I could tell many of them couldn't believe their ears. For once, I shared their doubt. I looked at Lucifer, and saw sincerity in his eyes. I hesitated. Lucifer told me that it wasn't too late to recall the Angels of Heaven to their proper duties. I scoffed. It was too late. The gauntlets were thrown. Humanity had to be eradicated. The humans must pay. Angels, good and bad, had suffered far too much in the name of humanity. Surely Lucifer must understand that. I mean, he was the Devil. He had to understand! Lucifer snapped his fingers, and I felt a wave of energy come from him to me. I raised my sword to strike him, but the energy wave caught me and sent me flying away from metropolitan Detroit. I crashed besides Gabrielle, who lay unconscious. I roused her from her slumber, and we returned to the Angelic Army. Things had just gotten more complicated. Lucifer was fighting for humanity. Oh, well. He would die with them.

Lucifer watched me fall, and then he turned to the gathering of humans. Many were curious about him, but weren't sure about what to do about him. Yes, he just saved them from murderous Angels but he was the Devil. Satan to the Christians. Iblis to the Muslims. Has-Shatan to the Jews. The enemy. The adversary of God. The ultimate bad guy. Lucifer looked at the men and women around him. The last remnants of humanity. They were all here. People from all faiths and all walks of life. Gays and lesbians. Rich and poor. The educated and the illiterate. The beautiful, the average and the ugly. Humans. The finest creations of God. Lucifer could see that now.

Even in this age of darkness, they were still finding their way to God. They still loved the Father. Lucifer looked at Bishop Antoine, who smiled. The old Black man welcomed him with open arms, and told him that God always forgives sinners. Even sinners called Lucifer. Lucifer smiled, and embraced the old man warmly. He looked at the gathered humans and told them from now on, he would fight to protect them. In the name of the God they all loved. The humans looked at each other and one by one, they began clapping. Lucifer smiled. This was a better welcome than he expected. He thanked his lucky stars that he got there on time. He would protect these people with his life. For their sake, for the sake of God, and for his own redemption. Amen. What a sucker, I thought to myself. I am so going to kick his ass. This is going to be fun. Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen. Michael out.