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"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reba roared as she came. Her cum spurted all over the sheet beneath her, his hand and cock. Duane continued to pound her cunt until he felt his impending orgasm.
"Blast that pretty little face of hers. Then stick it in her mouth so she can feast on a nice helping of protein," Harmony instructed.
After a few quick thrust, Duane pulled out and moved in front of Reba whom sat up on the heels of her feet. Her ridiculously giant tits rested on her upper thighs as Duane clutched his enormous member and blasted her boyish face with his first massive wad of hot cum. Before anymore of his jism escaped his cock, he lodged it's plum-sized head between her lips and finished unloading rope after rope after rope of thick creamy spunk down her throat.
"OHHHHHH!" cried Alan as he let loose his cum all over his computer screen and desk.
After Alan's orgasm subsided, he looked at his computer screen that was plastered in his spunk and saw Duane rubbing big monstrous cock all over Reba's cum-soaked face as Harmony sat next to her and started licking them cum before the video feed abruptly ended...
- COMMENTS
daddymacalmost 7 years agoHis luck should not have ran out. it should have kept going. He should have gotten Reba one on one, Jasmine, maybe even MOM, the younger Wilcox sister. they should have all had had one on one sessions. i felt like there was too much group sex. this tory could easily go to about 16 chapters if well written. This was a BAD chapter, Alan is a good guy and should not face humility by some random guy.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoAwesome work with the series, you got a lot of great fetishes covered and your writing, minus the occasional misspell or strange sentence structure, is solid.
The only bad things that i can say that really stand out are the strange way you end your chapters before the scene is done, and of course this chapters serious Idiot Ball Logic and the Big Black Guy appearance.
No matter how you look at it, even if Alan got roped into tutoring the girl he could have spent 1-2 hours working and left(making another appointment if needed), not wasted time with a footjob and hours more of trying to get the girl when she wasn't interested when there was several girls at a party that wanted him. It is all just a convoluted plot to fit the black guy NTR which wasn't even that hot.
In conclusion i think you can do better, just don't rush or be inconsistent in your writing, cuz no matter how you look at it, you made it look like Harmony had some serious grudge against him when she made the video.
Can't wait to see the rest, good luck.
newmantopleaseabout 7 years agoYou sir just brought the faggot mc back to reality and made him realize "THIS AINT A COMIC BOOK" white boys don't win just because, and it's also realistic that the cool black guy cucked him once he made a slight mistake. You sir have reached legend status.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoThis story really clashes with the other. Even the sex and the girl he's having sex with is way different. It doesn't make sense why he would stay around for that and I don't think most of your readers enjoy the scenario considering that this is lowest scoring in the series.
Also, another commenter said that Alan needed some humility. I don't agree with that. Even after he's had sex with a bunch of women he continues to be nice and even still a bit shy. He certainly doesn't become some jerk who gloats about how big his cock is. So I don't think he needs any bad luck.
allenknott3over 7 years agoSo I'm confused. After Alan didn't show up Harmony went out and found some random black guy to deflower Reba? That doesn't even make sense. The entire chapter didn't make sense. Alan could just had help Jessica Saturday or Sunday. It seem the entire chapter was done to set up Alan for a let down. The ending was so bad that it need to be rewrite or change. Horrible ending to a otherwise good story.
