Lydia's Dream Ch. 01-02

"That was another big mistake," she added. "He was always so nice at the restaurant and on dates but he wasn't as nice at home. Our sex was always rough, almost like he was raping me. He left me bruised many times and I dreaded making love to him.

"One morning, after he left for work, I was putting clothes away but had trouble opening one of his drawers. It appeared to be stuck so I pulled really hard. Suddenly, it broke free and I found that a book had been wedged in the drawer. I guess it was turned up and caught on something. It was a soft cover book and was partially torn from my jerking on it. I tried to straighten it out but it was damaged too badly.

"I looked through it to see if I could figure out what it was so I could buy him another one. It was just a small notebook with lots of names, what looked like phone numbers and symbols. I didn't know what to do so I put it back where I found it.

"Later that night, he saw it before I remembered to tell him about it. He screamed something about me looking through his stuff and hit me so hard that I thought he'd broken my jaw. I was both hurt and scared and ran into the kitchen to get away. He ran after me and threw me on the floor. He said that if he ever caught me going through his stuff again, he'd kill me. I believed him. I've never seen a person so angry."

"Did you call the police?"

"He was the police."

"What did you do?"

"I ran. The next day, I quit my job, packed the car and started driving."

"Why did you end up here, so far away from anywhere?"

"About five years ago, I came here with my uncle and aunt. My uncle was a keen fisherman and he loved coming to this lake. They asked me to tag along. I was just learning to drive and I studied the maps as he drove. As I was coming down I-85 a week ago, I suddenly remembered all the nice houses here. I looked it up on Google Maps and found my way. I figured he'd never find me here."

"Well, I'm glad you found your way."

"You are? Why?"

"Like you said, you're safe here and I got to at least meet you." She glanced at me but then quickly away as our eyes touched. We sat in silence and watched the fire as it popped and cracked, warming the room and us.

After several moments, she asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Just all the things that have happened here. My wife's name was Lydia and she loved coming here. In the summer we would swim and take the boat out about every day. She loved to cook so it was always fun to see her in the kitchen and try her new recipes. Every November, we sat in front of the fire and talked like you and I are doing. I really miss her."

"This was your special place to be together?"

"Yes, it was. We came here at least three weeks every year. We didn't watch TV or use the phone or computer or anything. We were totally involved with each other, talking for hours, walking, boating, cuddling together in front of the fire. This was our place of refuge and a time to be totally together."

"How long were you married?"

I glanced at Pam. "About seven years. We were married young. She had just graduated from UT Chattanooga before our wedding. We had dated for three years." I paused. "The ten years I knew her just weren't enough."

"I'm sure she loved you very much."

I glanced at her again and smiled.

After a minute or so I asked, "When I tried to take a shower last night, we didn't have hot water. Is it turned off?"

"I couldn't figure out how to turn it on. Nothing I tried worked."

"Have you been taking cold showers all week?"

"I heated water on the range in a big pot I found. That helped some."

"The pilot light must have gone out again. I had trouble with it before. Let's go check."

We walked together, actually with her several feet behind me, to the utility room. I sat on the floor in front of the water heater controls and looked inside to where the pilot light should be burning. It was dark.

"The pilot is out and it's tricky to re-light. I have to pull out the owner's manual every time just to remind myself how to do it. Can you look on that shelf behind you and find the manual?"

She handed it to me. I read the instructions carefully and followed the steps in the prescribed order. When I pushed the start button, the pilot and the burner ignited.

Pam was elated. "I can't wait for a hot shower."

"Me too. I'll need to change the pilot light nozzle this week. It's probably five years old. While we're near the porch," I said, "let's carry more wood in. Can you help me?"

"Of course." 


I opened the door and walked onto the cold screened-in back porch. There was more than a full cord of wood stacked here when I left two months ago. It appeared that about a third of it was gone. "Well, you did burn a lot of wood. Has the heat pump not been working?"

"That was another thing I couldn't figure out for several days; but I finally got it on." She held her arms out and I stacked five pieces across them. I tucked another five pieces under my arm and we walked into the warm house and carried it to the fireplace. I put one piece on the fire and stacked the rest in the rack. This fireplace generated a lot of heat but it did consume wood quickly.

We resumed our places and I asked, "How did you figure out the heat pump?"

She glanced at me and said, "You're going to think I'm crazy but it came to me in my sleep."

Now she had my full attention. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'd tried everything I could think of. The thermostat indicated it was on. I checked the breaker box and the switches were all on. I turned them off and back on just to see if that worked, but nothing happened. When nothing worked, I just assumed the unit had died.

"I was asleep one night and had a dream. It was a very vivid one and, unlike most dreams, I remembered it the next morning. In my dream, I could see a switch outside on the house near the compressor unit. Now I had no idea that there was an outside switch. Anyway, I put on my coat and walked outside the next morning. Sure enough, it was there. When I pushed the switch handle up, the heat pump came on immediately. I can't explain how my brain knew about that switch. It was scary weird."

"I had the service man check the unit before I left in September. He probably left the outside switch off."

"Do you ever have dreams like that?"

"Yes, I do. Similar things have happened to me and I can't explain them either. I remember one in particular when Lydia and I were dating. A buddy asked me and another friend to go down to Myrtle Beach and play golf one weekend. He was planning to drive and I was all for it.

"Three nights before we were to leave, I had a dream that badly scared me. I saw his car in a terrible accident with the police and emergency vehicles surrounding it. That worried me so much I cancelled. I felt I was being silly and stupid about it so I never said anything to him, other than to be careful. The sad thing is that he did have a terrible accident and both he and his buddy were injured. I was shocked, dumbfounded in fact.

"How and why did I have that premonition? I've no idea. It really makes me wonder."

Pam added, "I'll share one other dream with you. Now this was scary to me. The first night I was here I had trouble getting to sleep. I guess the knowledge that I shouldn't be here was weighing on me and I was very restless. When I finally went to sleep, I saw a man coming into my room. It scared me so much that I woke up screaming. Of course, there was nobody there; it was just a dream. But, only six nights later, that exact thing happened when you came in. Now, how can I explain that? I'm not a psychic. Why did my brain give me a preview of what was to happen?"

I replied, "I suppose there are mysteries in life that we'll never understand or explain."

We gazed at the fire again before I asked, "Are you and your parents on good terms now?"

"No. My dad died early this year. He had a heart attack. My sister said he was heartbroken when I left. I assume he never really recovered from that. Mom and I occasionally talk but it's not like we once did. My sister is married and lives in Texas. We also talk two or three times a year but it's almost like we were strangers. Mom is alone but has some help on the farm. She's talking about selling it and moving to Texas to be closer to my sister."

"Is that why you didn't stop there rather than come here?"

"Yeah, I didn't think I'd be too welcome and I didn't want her to know I was running away again. I've really screwed up several times now and I'm ashamed of that."

"Pam, we all screw up in life. Some more than others, I suppose. I'm certainly not proud of everything I've done. My wife was about the most perfect person I've known but she messed up every now and then. It's part of our human struggles. What matters is whether or not we learn from it and become a better and wiser person going forward."

We sat in silence again and watched the fire before she asked, "Are you seeing anyone now?"

"No. I've dated a few times and had a couple of short relationships but nothing serious."

"You're a very handsome and successful man. I would think lots of women would be after you."

I smiled. "I suppose the right lady hasn't come along yet. After losing Lydia, my heart and spirit have just not been focused on finding a new wife. She made me promise I would but it's hard."

"I understand. It's got to be devastating to lose the love of your life."

I nodded silently.

After a couple of minutes I asked, "Is it okay if I take your suitcase back to your bedroom?"

She thought for a few seconds. "Okay, if you're sure you don't mind me staying another day or so."

"It's a privilege to have you, Pam. You're a very interesting young lady and I'm enjoying talking with you. Plus, tomorrow is my birthday, you can't leave me alone for that!"

She finally smiled a full smile and said, "Maybe I can bake a cake for you."

"We'll see, maybe a cupcake would be easier."

I carried her suitcase back to the master bedroom and noticed how nicely she had made up the bed and straightened up after herself.

Pam yelled from the kitchen, "Is it alright if I make some sandwiches for lunch? This ham you brought looks good."

"That'd be fine. I also brought potato salad, coleslaw and pickles."

I walked back to the fire and stood with my back to it, watching her work. Her skills as a restaurant cook showed. There were no wasted motions and she seemed to almost glide around the kitchen. Lydia had been the same way.

"I think we're ready. Come on and get whatever you want to drink."

I decided to drink water and she had a diet cola. We sat at the kitchen table adjacent to each other. Obviously, she was becoming more comfortable around me.

"After lunch, maybe we can go to the store and pick up a six-pack or two," I suggested.

"Cool. I liked that beer you left. Also, I need a few things."

We continued to talk about small things over lunch, mostly food likes and dislikes. I learned she liked seafood but not escargot or frog legs, both of which I like. We both liked steak, turkey and chicken but she loved ham and bacon. Turned out they raised a few pigs on the farm and her dad smoked the hams and shoulders and cured the bacon like it was done for the last few hundred years. Her knowledge of food and cooking impressed me.

After lunch, she asked. "Can I take a hot shower before we go out?"

"Absolutely. I need one too but you go first. Our water pressure is not so good here."

I watched her walk to the bedroom before I put away the food and cleaned the table and dishes. As the water ran in her shower, I sat and watched the fire burn down to just a few small flames. That brought back memories of Lydia and me waiting for her to shower and dress before we went out. There were just so many wonderful memories of her at this cabin and Pam brought many of them to mind. The way she seemed so comfortable in the kitchen and enjoyed gazing at the burning fire was the same as Lydia. Also, like Lydia, Pam was a great listener.

Following a shower and shave, I dressed in warmer clothes and walked to the car. She was surprised when I opened her door. "I'm not accustomed to this. Thank you." She said with a smile.

As we drove to the market some six miles away, we talked about the lake and how pretty this area is, no matter what time of the year.

"When I came with my uncle and aunt, we stayed in the small motel we just passed. I remember how clean it was. He took me out with him one day while my aunt went shopping. We had a great time. He let me reel in a small bass he hooked and that was fun. The first fish I ever caught. Do you fish?"

"Yes, but probably not as often as your uncle. Lydia and I'd go out once or twice every time we were here; but we usually didn't catch anything. I remember one time, she hooked one and it seemed to fight very hard, much more than normal. She was excited, and I was too. I was expecting it to be huge but it wasn't... only a couple of pounds. Turns out she hooked it in the side, not the mouth. Evidently, that gave the fish more leverage as it fought. We felt sorry we'd injured it so badly. By the time I got the hook out, there was a nasty cut on its side. We normally released everything we caught but decided we better keep this one. It'd probably die a slow painful death and we didn't want that."

"Did you eat it?"

"Yes. Lydia looked up recipes for bass and found one she thought sounded good. It was... no fishy taste at all."

"My uncle always released the ones he caught. He carried a small digital camera with him to take shots of anything he wanted to brag about later. He was funny. He couldn't wait to get back to the motel every evening and show us his trophy pictures." She chuckled.

"Did he often catch big ones?"

"Well, I couldn't tell. There were no reference points in the pictures to go by. I couldn't tell if a fish was a foot long or two feet long; but my aunt and I pretended to be impressed and happy for him. That's all he really wanted."

I added, "And I'm sure they continued to grow bigger over the years."

"Exactly, even before we got home, they had grown." We both laughed.

She asked, "You ever go fishing for mountain trout? I think I'd like to do that sometime."

"I love to fish in the streams. When I was a boy, my dad used to take me into the Tennessee mountains to fish. We usually caught at least one but sometimes we caught our limit of five. The Fish and Game Commission stocked most of the rainbow trout so they were fairly dumb. Hatchery trout will eat anything and completely ignore the fact that some guy was standing next to them in the water. A wild trout would've been long gone, hiding under a rock. Maybe I can take you sometime."

Pam glanced at me and responded, "I'd like that very much."



When we arrived at the Publix grocery, Pam saw a CVS pharmacy next door. She headed there while I did the grocery shopping. I'd planned for only my meals this week so I needed more coffee, bread and meat for her. I also bought a case of Stella, the beer she liked. I was planning for her to stay all week, although she hadn't committed yet.

As I was checking out, Pam walked in carrying a small bag. Seeing me at the register, she smiled and waved to get my attention.

While loading the items in the car, I asked, "Is there any place else we need to go while we're out?"

"Is there a bookstore anywhere around here? I'd like to look for something."

"I know just the place. There's a large one about five miles away. I'd also like to look for some new books. I think I've read everything in the cabin. I was hurrying so much to hit the road last night, I forgot to grab anything to read."

As I drove, Pam said, "I want to look for a book about dreams and what they mean. All these dreams have me wondering."


That surprised me. "Do you really think we can figure them out?"

"I don't know, but I'm intrigued. Why did they predict exactly what would happen and why did I remember them when I woke? I hardly ever remember dreams."

"I've had other dreams recently that I've not mentioned to you," I said. "I had some work issues come up a week ago and decided not to come as normal to the cabin this week. For three nights in a row, I dreamed about Lydia and her telling me that I should come. It was an odd dream and her voice in my bedroom seemed very real. Even this week, when I close my eyes at night, I can hear her as plain as if she were with me. This is very unusual. In the time since she died, this has not happened until recently."

"That's kind of scary," she replied.

"Lydia was a student of the scriptures and read them about every day. Her faith was unshakable. She told me one time about the number three and how it represented perfection and completeness throughout the Bible. That came to mind when she talked to me three nights in a row in my dreams."

Pam said, "I was never a strong Christian and don't know the Bible very well. Obviously, there is the trinity of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. But what other threes are mentioned?"

"Well, let's see. The earth was created on the third day according to Genesis. Jonah was in the belly of the fish for three days. There were three men of faith thrown in the fiery furnace but survived, according to Daniel. The ministry of Jesus lasted three years. Peter denied Jesus three times. Jesus was placed on the cross on the third hour and his body removed at 3:00 pm. His resurrection was on the third day. There were three disciples who saw the transfiguration of Jesus on Mt. Hermon-John, James and Peter. Only three angels are mentioned by name in the Bible-Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer. It goes on and on more than 400 times in the Bible."

We rode on in silence for several minutes, lost in our thoughts.

"Pam, I'm probably going to scare you with what I'm about to tell you. I think I shouldn't keep it from you since all these other dreams have occurred." I glanced at her and she stared at me.

"Last night, when I finally got to sleep, I dreamed of you and the name 'Pam' kept coming to me over and over."

"WHAT?" She sat with her mouth open and her hand over it while staring at me. Her eyes showed fear and she began shaking.

"That's why I almost fainted this morning when you told me your name."

"Holy crap! What's going on, Tom? This is scaring me to death!" She looked straight ahead with her hand over her mouth.

"Pam, I'm convinced there's something going on much bigger than we understand. Maybe we can find some books that'd help. There was one written a number of years ago by Dr. Billy Graham on angels. I haven't read it. I'll see if the store has it."

"Do you think an angel has been involved? Are we getting messages from God?"

"I've no idea. But something or someone seems to be communicating with us. Otherwise, I'm at a loss to explain any of the dreams you and I've had. The Bible talks about angels but I know little about them except for a few passages I read."

We rode in contemplative silence the rest of the way to the bookstore. As we arrived, I glanced at her again and saw a few tears running down her cheeks. I reached over and took her hand and she squeezed mine.

"Pam, we'll figure this out." I handed her a handkerchief and she dabbed at her eyes.

In the store, we split up. She went for the dreams and I went for the angels. About 30 minutes later, we left with four books including Dr. Graham's. As soon as I drove out of the parking lot, she was reading one of the books.

"Tom, it says here that our dreams are likely to be about situations or events that we'd like to have happen. But I never wanted a strange man to come into my room in the middle of the night."

"And it doesn't explain how I knew your name. You know, there must be a million names but my dream came up with 'Pam'. You're the first Pam I've ever known. How did that happen?"