M Club Ch. 19

The first rule of M Club is: You don't talk about M Club. The second rule of M Club is: You don't talk about M Club. Third rule of M Club: No touching anyone but yourself. Fourth rule: No recording devices. Fifth rule: No clothing below the waist. Sixth rule: If this is your first time at M Club, you must masturbate.

* * *

Lisa looked at her phone and hesitated. She finally fired off a text to Denby: Can we talk?

It had been two days since the incident and her best friend was still a mess over the whole thing. Den wasn't talking to Sean at all and had only made a few, curt replies to Lisa by text. Hadn't even taken a phone call. She was getting worried and it hurt to be shut out.

Waiting for a reply, she turned her attention to the television. Camron, her younger sister, had turned on some travel show, but it was impossible to focus on it given her current state of mind. She ended up staring absently at the screen.

"Hello! Earth to Lisa!" Camron waved her hand in front of Lisa's face. At some point, she'd gotten up and was now standing over her shoulder.

Lisa flinched and flipped her phone upside down. "What?"

Camron gave her a skeptical look. "I asked you if you wanted something from the kitchen."

"Oh, no, thanks."

Camron looked about to blow her off, but hesitated. "Problems with your BFF?"

Lisa grumbled. "Reading over my shoulder?"

Her sister rolled her eyes. "Not intentionally. Much. But it doesn't take a genius to figure out something's wrong with you. You've been like a zombie all weekend, and that's my job."

Lisa sighed. "She's been in a funk and won't even talk."

"Boy troubles?" Camron perked up at the prospect with which she had no small amount of familiarity.

"Something like that."

Camron shook her head. "Well, of course she won't want to talk to you about it. She needs someone who can relate, and you've never had a serious boyfriend."

Lisa held her reflex to lash out. Her sister was right, at least on the one count. Denby had never been shy about talking boy issues with her before, though, and there was no one else who she could confide in over this one. Well, maybe Vida, but they weren't exactly friends.

Her phone chimed, and Lisa waived her sister off.

The reply came: Not ready.

Lisa fired off another: You need to say something to Sean. He's bugging me to get through to you.

There was a pause before the reply came. Talk to him yourself. Hell, you've been wanting him since we started dating. He's all yours. Go suck his cock. Bet he wouldn't hesitate.

That hit Lisa right in the gut. She knew her friend was still lashing out emotionally, but Den didn't have to go there.

She took the high road: Just think about it.

Camron returned to the room and gave her a look - part "I told you so" and part sympathetic. The latter was unusual from her, but still welcome.

After several minutes without any further reply coming, she fired off a text to Sean: Can we meet? Need someone to talk to.

The reply came quickly: Yeah. Where? I'm at home right now.

She sent back: I'll be right over.

Lisa stood and let her sister know she'd be back later.

"Where ya going?" Camron asked in her nosey, digging-for-gossip tone.

"Out. To save some friendships, I hope."

#

Sean opened the door before Lisa had a chance to ring the bell. He didn't look haggard, exactly, but certainly lacked the usual sparkle in his eye. She knew him well enough to be able to read in him the same tension she felt.

He let her in and she wrapped him in a hug before the door was even closed. He tensed for a moment before relaxing and holding her tight. They just held each other in silent support for a while.

"Guess she's still not talking to you, then?" He said when they finally separated.

"Not exactly, no," she said.

The house felt empty. Sean must have picked up on her looking around for his family. "They're all gone for the afternoon. I stayed to get some homework finished."

She nodded. Unlike Denby, she wasn't terrified at the prospect of facing Sean's mom again, but there was still that uncertainty of what it would be like. There was no getting around how many intimate things she knew about her.

"How've you been?" she said.

He shrugged. "Surviving. Frustrated that Den won't talk, but I can't do much about that."

"I hear ya. She's taking some of it out on me, too."

Sean cocked an eyebrow at that. "Why? Pressure for all the club stuff?"

Lisa shook her head. "No. Well, not that she's said. Just taking cheap shots at me and you since I'm trying to be a go-between."

Sean frowned. "That's hardly fair. Like what?"

Lisa wasn't sure she wanted to go into it, but she couldn't deny the appeal of having someone to talk with. "Well, she seems to think I've been crushing on you since you two started dating. Suggested I should come over here and...service you."

"Oh." He looked sheepishly uncomfortable. "You, uh, wanna go upstairs and talk? And by that, I actually mean talk."

She nodded and followed him up the stairs to his room. She'd only seen it twice before, both times just a quick in and out with Denby, so it was still somewhat new to her - an insight into his personality. Every surface was piled with books and games, old science projects and school awards, and miscellaneous knickknacks from vacations and elsewhere. Despite the quantity of stuff, his floors were relatively tidy and there seemed to be a sense of order to everything.

His laptop was open on the desk, a paper in progress still visible, and subdued music she didn't recognize was playing softly from its speakers. He gestured toward the made bed or desk chair, and she settled in on the latter. Sean sat on the edge of the bed closest.

"So, uh, was she right?"

"About what?"

Sean pursed his lips. "About you having a crush on me."

Lisa closed her eyes. She hadn't expected him to latch onto that. Was the feeling mutual?

"Probably," she said, cracking her eyes in time to see his nod. "I don't know. I guess I was always a bit jealous of her dating life, especially since I wasn't really comfortable dating. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but I could always find a reason not to with every guy. Until you. And by the time I realized that, she'd already snatched you up. I think she knew it, too, but knew I wouldn't do anything about it. I was never a threat."

"Yeah, I can't see you being that kind of friend. Andy was kinda the same way with Denby, I think."

Lisa nodded. "I've seen the way he looks at her. I think it's more than just checking out her b's."

"B's?"

Lisa chuckled. "Boobs and booty."

Sean sighed. "Yeah. I know he'd never have hit on her, but then the club thing happened. He still wouldn't make a move, but I doubt it did anything to quell his interest."

Lisa kicked her legs out and propped them up on the edge of the bed beside Sean. "When you and Den tried to hook me and Andy up, whose idea was it?"

Sean pondered for a bit. "Honestly, I don't really remember. It just seemed to make sense."

"Ever wonder if it was a subconscious thing, a way to protect yourselves from your friends?"

Sean smiled and patted her leg. "That's...wow," he said. "I never thought of it that way, but maybe deep down there's something to it. I think we'd just hoped to include our friends in double dates. Less guilt in spending time away from you and Andy."

Lisa smiled. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"

Sean playfully slapped her knee. "No. You two were never our enemies. Not even subconsciously."

Lisa nudged him with her toes. "Don't be so sure. The mind is crafty, always doing things for you you're not aware of."

"You sound like a psych major in waiting."

She shrugged. "Can I ask you something personal?"

Sean chuckled. "I'm pretty sure we're well past having to ask if that's okay."

"Did you ever have a thing for me?"

Sean's eyes widened. "Wait. You actually have to ask that?"

Lisa blushed. Apparently, that was a yes. "Not just a physical attraction?"

Sean rubbed her bare leg. She liked his touch, even something simple like this.

"I've liked you on some level pretty much since we started Highland together," he said. "I mean, sure, you're attractive, but I always thought of you more in terms of your mind - your intelligence and kindness. I might have asked you out if I knew you a little better. I don't know. I guess I just was a bit intimidated by you."

Lisa gawked. "Me? I'm hardly intimidating."

"It's more of a fear of the unknown. Like I was afraid you'd already analyzed me and would find a reason to reject me. I don't know how to explain it. It's silly."

Lisa leaned forward and patted his hand on her leg. "It's not silly. It's pretty much the same reason I didn't date. Afraid of what the boys would think of me, how I'd been written off for one reason or another, or they'd have already asked me out."

Sean shook his head. "If we ever told people what we really thought, it'd be so much easier to start relationships."

Lisa nodded. "So, after you started dating Denby?"

"I like her. I really do. But I also got to know you. I wouldn't have acted on it, but then you asked me to jerk off for you two that one night."

Lisa groaned in fond reminiscence. "I still can't believe I did that."

"I can't either, but that changed everything. I was totally into you and Den. And then she started the whole thing with wanted both of us to play together - with and without her. I still don't know what to think about all that. I couldn't say no, because I totally wanted to, but a small part of me was terrified that it couldn't possibly last without someone getting hurt."

He saw it exactly as she had. The collapse hadn't been what she'd expected, but the end result was pretty close to her worst fears. Now she only could hope things smoothed over with her friend.

"I'm the same way," she said. "I like the things we've done, you and me, but every time Den gets us together, I'm afraid I'll get too close, that I won't want to give you up. And it's already affecting my other potential relationships."

"Andy?"

She nodded. "He's nice and all, and interested, but I'm judging him against you. Any guy would be judged against you."

"Sorry." He didn't sound too sorry, but Lisa didn't mind. She'd meant it to be flattering.

"Andy and I got things straightened out. It'll never happen as a relationship, but we've agreed to be friends."

Sean smiled. "Friends or friends? I'm guessing the latter."

Lisa respected his open-mindedness about the intimate nature of her relationship with Andy. After all these confessions, he could've been upset or possessive. It didn't stop her from feeling like she'd almost been cheating on Sean behind his back, despite their lack of any relationship status.

"I can't expect Den to invite me along on all your dates," Lisa countered, matching his grin.

She got up from the chair. "Gotta use the girls' room."

"Need a drink or anything?"

Lisa declined and found the bathroom across the hall. While taking care of business, her mind was mired in wondering what could have been. How would things have been different if she and Sean had started dating? Would Denby have ever been a factor, a threat? Or would Den and Andy have hooked up in the way they'd hoped she and Andy would? The M Club, almost certainly, would never have happened.

With the club on her mind as she returned to Sean's room, she asked, "Did you keep the journal after your mom found it?"

Sean cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah. I stopped adding anything to it, though. That was just after Vida joined us."

Lisa nodded. That left more than enough salacious details for his mom to have read. "Can I see it?"

Sean hesitated for a moment, probably worried about the insight she'd get into his perception of events, but he soon rose and dug through a pile of books on the back corner of his desk. He pulled out a battered old notebook and handed it to her, then sat back down the edge of the bed. She waved at him to scoot over and she sat and then laid back on his bed with her head on his pillow. It smelled of him, which brought many pleasant memories front and center. He laid down beside her, his bed small enough that he couldn't help brushing arm to arm.

Lisa flipped open the book and found the fantasy football notes he'd previously mentioned. His mom had to have been really nosey to dig this far into his personal stuff. How badly had Sean screwed up to raise her suspicions?

She finally found the first entry and skimmed through it. His writing was good and for the most part the story was accurate to the best of her recollection. He did include some of his own personal thoughts and feelings, including his concerns, all of which served to make it more intimate. She skipped ahead until finding the entry about the day she'd hosted the M Club while her family was away:

"I arrived at Lisa's place in the afternoon, about the time Denby said she and Andy should be back from their solo and ensemble competition. It's safe to say I was shocked to find Lisa answering the door completely naked. She said she'd wanted to spend an entire day naked and this was the first chance she'd ever had. Needless to say, I enjoyed her efforts. Of course, things got a little awkward when Den and Andy ended up being a few hours late thanks to bus problems.

"Since what happened in those few hours were not part of M Club business, I'll only say that I had a good time. Very good time. And it was all with Denby's blessing. That either makes her the best girlfriend ever, or the most baffling."

Lisa could feel Sean's tension in the way he scarcely moved or breathed.

"You skipped over the best bit," she said, turning her head. He turned his own head until they were almost nose to nose.

"It wasn't official," he said. "And even though Den wanted us to...fool around...I wasn't sure she'd take it well if she ever read this."

"Probably not."

"I don't think I could have written it without revealing how I felt. About you."

Lisa swallowed the lump in her throat. "That was the first and only time I've felt like I knew what it was like to really connect with a guy. It felt like you were my boyfriend."

Sean nodded. "Scared the hell out of me, too. It was more than just fooling around."

"So, it wasn't just me?"

"No." His voice was a whisper.

In that moment, she desperately wanted him to kiss her. She wanted not just to taste those lips, but to regain that feeling of being in love and sharing it. She could kiss him, and he almost certainly would kiss back. Regardless who initiated, however, it would almost certainly eat at them, the feeling of having betrayed Denby.

"So, what do we do?" The words coming from her mouth were so soft, she barely heard them herself.

"I know what I want to do, but..."

"I know."

They laid together in silence, lips and noses almost touching, eyes gazing into the other's. Lisa felt Sean's fingers brush the back of hers, and soon they interlocked. Her heart pounded and she licked her lips.

"That night, after we made out, when Den and Andy got back?"

Sean nodded. "Yeah?"

"Den and I talked. I don't know how much she told you about her and him in the library, but I guess he really got her all turned on. In ways you don't, supposedly."

Sean's expression darkened slightly. "Okay."

Lisa tightened her grip on his hand. "Not like she wanted him over you. Just, I think they connected in a way like we did that afternoon. I even asked her later, if she'd swap you for him if there were no hard feelings."

"And?"

"She never answered."

Sean considered her revelation silently. She wasn't sure why she was telling him this, other than to perhaps make him aware that things weren't so clear cut as to where it should or could stand between he and Denby. Maybe she was just being selfish, trying to justify taking what she wanted.

When he didn't say anything, she continued. "And she was really excited about what you and I had done, even when I told her I was worried about how kissing you made me feel. She wanted me kissing and making out with you."

"You think it helped her feel less guilty about what happened between her and Andy?"

"Maybe."

He closed his eyes, but his fingers continued to intertwine with hers. His thumb gently rubbed the soft spot between her thumb and forefinger.

"Den also asked me who I'd want for my first lover - you or Andy."

He gulped but said nothing.

Lisa's heart pounded. "I told her it was you. She already knew and it's what she wanted, too."

His eyes were her entire world in that moment - rich brown flecked with green, intelligent, wise, caring, and always on the brink of twinkling. They were probing her very soul and she did everything in her power to let him in, laying herself bare in a way she couldn't possibly accomplish by removing her clothing. There was nothing she wanted to keep hidden from him.

"I don't know what to say," he finally said, whispering.

"You don't need to say anything."

They kissed. She wasn't sure who started it but it didn't matter. It began softly, lip to lip, a question posed to one another. They kissed again, as if to ask, "Are you sure?" Lips parted, tips of tongues met halfway, and they melted into one another.

Lisa had kissed Sean on a couple occasions, but nothing was like this. Never had it carried such emotional inertia. It was a revelation that flipped her world upside down. Was it real or just hormones? It felt more real that breathing and she latched on as if he were a life raft after she'd spent her life drowning.

Sean wrapped her in his arms and she snuggled into the solidity of his chest. She caressed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair, holding his face close lest he change his mind and withdraw. Her fears were unfounded as he met her kiss for kiss, touch for touch.

For some time, that's all they did - kiss and hold each other. It felt to Lisa like she was trying to convince him of the sincerity of her feelings, and perhaps he was doing the same for her. At some unspoken point, the softness of their intimacy took an edge of urgency, with kisses becoming aggressive as their tongues dueled in foreign territory, lips got playful nibbles, and bodies pressed harder together.

Sean must have read her mind, because his hand cupped her breast just as she was about to beg him to touch her. It was outside her shirt, but she still trembled at the contact and moaned through their kissing. She wrapped a hand around his ass, squeezing hard and pulling his hips into hers.

He got the hint and soon his hand was under her shirt, bunching it up, and then digging under her bra. She desperately wanted him to just get her clothes out of the way but understood the unwillingness to break off their kissing. It was as if taking a breath, even for a second, might give them a moment to come to their senses and reconsider this course of action. Her body shook as his fingers slid across bare skin and then contacted her hard nipple.

She threw a leg over his and pressed her crotch against his. There was no mistaking the erection under his shorts and she tried, unsuccessfully, to grind her clit against it. The angle wasn't quite right, and it frustrated her. Only the overwhelming number of other sensory inputs gave her a shred of patience.

Sean's lips separated from hers, only to trace a line of kisses along her cheek and under her ear. He then nibbled on her earlobe and she let out an audible squeak. She felt his smile.

Without warning, he rolled onto his back and pulled her along. She managed to end up straddling his crotch and finally had a good angle of contact between his erection and her clit. She kissed him fiercely while beginning to grind pelvis to pelvis.

Sean's hands pulled at her shirt and she pushed herself up just enough to let him lift it off. She paused for a moment to pull her long, red hair back into a fresh ponytail, secured with a scrunchy, after his efforts had set it all askew.