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The idea had her head swimming. It was thrilling—not to mention what she'd always wanted, and been dreaming about for years. Yet also, the thought also terrified her. Like many children of free-wheeling parents, Rosemary was, in the depths of herself, a traditionalist. Marriage meant forever. Period. And that kind of commitment shouldn't be made fast or lightly.
"I don't know... it's only been two weeks. Right?"
"Why prolong the inevitable?"
"Because it's not inevitable! It's a choice, and I'm not sure I'm ready to make it yet."
Thyme sighed. Crossing his arms, he leaned onto the table and speared her with his eyes. "Not ready to make that choice, or not ready to make it with him? Which one is it, sister mine?"
*
That question rolled around in her mind all the way home. Rosemary had thought she was ready for a lifelong commitment, but now that the possibility was actually within sight, she didn't feel so sure. How would she know if he was The One? How would she know they were truly right for each other? Was she ready to take the leap of faith, of trust, that marriage required? All of that, and Judgment lurked ominously in the back of her head all night long.
When she got home from work the next day, Rosemary finally sat down to go through her mail. Mostly it was bills and credit card applications, but one envelope was different. On heavy cream-colored stationary was printed Columbia University. Rosemary didn't realize she was holding her breath until it came out with a whoosh upon reading the letter. It was an acceptance to their Bachelor of Fine Arts program.
Of course, the first thing she wanted to do was tell Fabricio. Rosemary was halfway through a giddy text to him when she remembered he was in the middle of midterms, and anyway, this kind of news was better shared in person. They're not gonna un-accept me. It can wait... but he's going to be so excited!
Instead, she called Parsley.
"Oh, so I do still have a little sister!" Parsley exclaimed upon answering the phone.
"I know. I'm sorry. It was... kind of a wonderful couple of weeks, actually."
"And you're going to tell me all about it. Come down to the Triple Goddess tomorrow afternoon? I'll be there late."
"Sure. That sounds perfect."
She got to the shop at 6 o'clock Thursday evening, realizing ruefully as she arrived that, once again, she'd forgotten to draw a new Tarot card. Woops. I'll make up for it tomorrow, I guess. Parsley greeted her with a hug and a fresh pot of tea as they settled down to chat.
"So, this guy is really great, it sounds like," Parsley said at the end of Rosemary's story. "Do you feel like you're in it for real? I mean, for the long term?"
"I want to be. I've been wanting that for ages. But I don't know. It's too soon to know that now. Isn't it?"
Parsley shrugged. "I can't tell you that. Only you can be the judge of your own feelings."
"How will I know if this—if he—is truly right for me?"
"You'll know," Parsley said with a wise smile.
Rosemary fiddled with her teacup for a while, then finally went on, "And there's other news. I got into Columbia University."
"What? I didn't know you were applying to colleges!"
"Fabricio encouraged me to do it. I want to be a real artist, Parsley. Maybe an art teacher, even. All this time I've been working at the daycare, just biding my time, but waiting for what? He helped me make the decision to go for it, to chase my passion and take the student loan and just believe that it will all work out." Rosemary's lips curved involuntarily into a smile. "That's the kind of man he is. He lives his dream every day, and makes me want to do the same."
Parsley nodded thoughtfully, sipping her tea. At last she said, "Columbia. That's in New York City, right? You'd see Sage more. Maybe stay at her place."
"Yeah, I thought of that. It would actually be really convenient."
"But..." Parsley didn't need to say the rest of her sentence. They both knew what she was thinking. Rosemary had been mulling over the same problem all that day. If she was in New York for three or four years, what would happen with Fabricio? With a firm gesture, Parsley took Rosemary's hands in her own. "Listen," she said, "No matter where you go in life, you'll always be faced with choices. None of them are bad, and none are necessarily better than the rest; just choices. But whichever one you pick will define the next chapters of your life, and the associated choices that'll come with. That's what the theory of parallel universes is all about: the idea that no matter which we choose, somewhere, on another plane of existence, a different you made the choice you didn't make. So you end up with infinite realities, different destinies.
"But here, in this universe, in our plane of existence, you'll have to pick just one of those choices. And then, whatever the result, you'll have to live with it. That's just the way life works. So choose carefully."
Chapter 17: Strength
It was Friday afternoon and Rosemary counted down the hours, eager to meet up with Fabricio after his last test. They'd been texting all week, of course. Rosemary was amazed at how much she'd missed seeing him, touching him. At night, as she struggled to fall asleep alone, she remembered the feel of his skin, the way he trembled as her fingers brushed the sensitive edge of his lower belly. Her hand was tired from all those restless imaginings.
That morning she had drawn a card: Strength. On it, a woman stood proudly, an infinity symbol hovering over her head. Her hands were around the neck of a powerful male lion. At first Rosemary thought 'strength' referred to the lion itself; king of the jungle and all that. But the more she looked at it, the more she began to feel that Strength was actually the woman. Was she taming the lion, or comforting it? Were they, in fact, one and the same?
"Girl, you dreaming," Latysha said with an exasperated sigh.
"What? Oh. Sorry, Latysha. I just miss him, you know?"
Latysha's smile could almost be described as grim. "Rosemary, I never seen you have it so bad. You two together what, a week?"
"Almost three weeks." The idea of -- almost a month! -- made her break into a grin.
"Yeah, three weeks, you still in the honeymoon stage. Before you go and fall in love with a man, you got to test him. Something got to happen, and you see how he reacts. No point sticking with a man who not strong enough to take care of you, that's all I got to say."
*
Latysha's words, well meant as they were, didn't make the time pass any faster. Nor did they give Rosemary any pause. She was in so deep with Fabricio already, a week apart already felt like ages. When six o'clock came around she clocked out on the dot, called a hasty goodbye to Latysha (shaking her head, muttering "good luck"), and ran for the bus. She was on her way by 6:08.
Everything fled from her mind when she saw Fabricio. Whatever she'd been meaning to say -- about Columbia, about her week, the funniness of Thyme's new relationship -- was erased the second their lips touched. Rosemary's arms were tight around his neck, her hips braced against the armrest of his chair as she perched in his lap. He had one hand between her shoulder blades, the other around her thigh, holding her close and kissing her like they were alone, not in the middle of the dorm lobby.
A few people whistled, and one guy (who sounded a lot like Chad) shouted, "You go, dude!" It all seemed like white noise to Rosemary. She focused on the delicate texture of his tongue inside her mouth, the steady pressure of his hand on her back. Fabricio spoke through his lips, and Rosemary responded. For a few precious seconds there was no thought, only sensations. And love.
He finally pulled back with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Hey," he said.
She giggled. "Hey, yourself."
"Are you hungry? The dining hall's just next door." His voice was hesitant, as if he felt he should be proposing dinner, but didn't actually want to. Which was just as well, because food was the last thing on Rosemary's mind.
"Are you kidding?!" she hissed. "All I want is you. Now."
In a blur they were together on his bed. He was halfway undressed, his shirt unbuttoned, gaping open on his chest as he fumbled to unzip his fly. Rosemary stripped off her pants and underwear, gasping as cool air met the wet arousal of her sex. Too impatient to bother with her shirt, she straddled his hips and roughly tugged his jeans off over his erection. He gasped as she lifted the waistband of his boxers, reaching in with one hand to pull out his dick and balls. Rosemary let out a little moan, too; it was a hot visual, with his package lifted and framed by the bunching fabric. She couldn't wait to savor it, though. Grabbing hold of his cock, she positioned herself on top and, with a thick-throated groan, plunged onto him.
Fabricio clutched her hips, staring at the place they connected as she rode him. She braced herself on his chest, grabbing handfuls of his shirt to anchor herself. Rosemary angled in for her pleasure, rubbing his cock against her g-spot with each thrust of her pelvis. It was amazing to hold him inside, taking control of the movement. His hands were firm, his strong fingers kneading the muscles of her ass as she rocked back and forth. She loved the stillness of his hips, sharp in contrast to his tense arms and the quivering muscles of his chest.
As she found her perfect rhythm, Fabricio reached around and slid his fingers between her legs. She felt his hand cupping her pussy, fingers growing slick from her juices, leaking out from their connection. He brought one wet finger to her clit, and the reaction was electric. Her whole body hummed with it, her inner muscles tightened, her clit throbbed, and within a few strokes she was crying out, shuddering and jerking as orgasm ripped through her.
She slumped on his chest afterwards, chest heaving. He trailed his hands across her back, caressing her through her t-shirt as her breathing slowed. Gradually he worked the fabric up, bunching it under her arms until, lazily, she allowed him to pull it off. Her bra slid after it onto the floor. Fabricio cupped her breasts, squeezing sensually, pulling just enough to catch her nipples between his fingers. The edge of pain-tinged pleasure made her groan as it sent fresh spasms through her pussy. Revived, she arched up and began grinding on him again.
Focused now, Fabricio kept one hand on her chest, playing between her breasts, while he planted the other directly between her butt cheeks. His palm felt warm and eager, slipping between her crease. He reached down behind until his fingers reached the stretched lips of her pussy. She lifted, tilted her hips back, and sank, letting him feel the slide as his cock penetrated anew. He kept his hand there, and she reached back to cover it with her own, holding him closer against the mingled flesh of his cock and her labia, both so slippery wet it was hard to tell that they weren't a single, passionate entity.
His breath came in quick, moaning gasps, and he pinched her nipple hard. Rosemary responded with force, digging her nails into his skin as she raked from his shoulder down to his navel. She felt his erection swell inside her, and knew he was close. When her fingers fell into the dip she scraped her nail lightly around the edge, and that was enough to send him over the edge. With a long groan, he arched back and gritted his teeth, bracing against her in the midst of his explosive orgasm.
With a giggle, she covered his breath with a flurry of kisses. He responded languidly, between heaving breaths, as he came down from the climactic high. Finally, with a sigh, he draped his arms over her back and tucked her head to his chest. Rosemary lay there, listening to his slowing heartbeat, completely enveloped in wonder. They'd barely said two words, yet she felt as if they'd had a whole conversation already. She sighed with bone-deep contentment.
"Now I'm hungry," she said against his shoulder.
His guffaw shook the bed, and she laughed too, and before long they were tangled in kisses again.
Eventually they managed to dress decently and made it down to the dining hall twelve minutes before it closes. Fabricio had a heaping plate of mac n' cheese with broccoli, while Rosemary -- secretly thrilled at her first university dorm food experience -- grabbed the mystery casserole.
"Oh my god, I'm starving," she said, shoveling the first heaping forkful into her mouth. "Hey, it's actually good!"
Fabricio grinned. "Yeah, sometimes you luck out." He was already halfway through with his salad. "Hey, that reminds me. Remember I had midterms all week?"
"Well, yeah. That was kind of the reason we couldn't see each other. Unless you're hiding a secret mistress from me?"
"Nah, I haven't got the time for that," he said, chuckling. "Anyway, midterms are done, thank god. Now I'm clear until finals, but I think I'm in good shape for graduation. But what I wanted to say was that in my Contemporary Sculpture class they had a stack of free tickets to the Chihuly Garden. So, I grabbed us a couple."
"Cool! I've always wanted to check that out, but I've never been. That's really amazing to get free tickets; I think the entry is, like thirty dollars."
"Hey, I'm just a big spender when it comes to you," Fabricio joked, earning him a giggly slap on the shoulder. "So, let's go tomorrow?"
"Of course. Just don't make me get up early."
"Oh, no. I've got a plan for you tomorrow morning..."
*
Chihuly Garden and Glass was one of many exhibits in the Seattle Center, a sprawling park complex at the foot of the Space Needle. On beautiful warm days, the central fountain was on, playing music and sending jets of water high into the air. Flocks of children gathered in the basin, squealing with delight as the water tumbled down. Street musicians performed on shady corners, in addition to the occasional living statue and a guy posing for photos in a Darth Vader costume.
As the museum itself was fairly small, it was already packed when they rolled in at one in the afternoon. It felt pretty damn good to hand over their free tickets while everyone else lined up to pay $27 apiece -- "Ouch, steep," Rosemary muttered as they passed by. As they rounded the corner, though, she was transported into a wonderland. Dale Chihuly's glass creations evoked marvelous sea creatures, aged cedar baskets, and a menagerie of fantastic vegetation. She stood, spellbound, regarding a tiny, perfectly sculpted glass snail. Then Fabricio pointed up, and her jaw fell open as she beheld a ceiling covered with vibrant splashes of color: glass baubles caught in the clear windows above.
The interior was room after room of masterpieces, each corner leading to a new surprise. But the best part was revealed when they passed out of the dark museum and into a cathedral-like glass greenhouse, hung with hundreds of red-and-yellow glass flowers. And beyond that, the garden.
On a sunny day like this, the garden was a riot of shapes and colors. Vivid blue glass spikes contrasted with the deep green foliage surrounding them, while nearby twisty, shimmery golden spears seemed to rise straight from the tulip beds. Fabricio pointed out dark glass spheres, each one a combination of hundreds of different shades, like an inverted mirror. The Space Needle was reflected in one, and Rosemary wished she could capture it in a picture: quintessential Seattle.
She walked slowly, taking it in with all her senses. Fabricio reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.
"This is amazing," Rosemary said. "I didn't know it would be this beautiful!"
"Twenty-seven bucks worth of beautiful?" asked Fabricio, slightly teasing, raising his eyebrows at her. Rosemary smiled sheepishly; after all, she'd been the one to balk at the cost.
"Well, all these people seem to think so."
There were tons of tourists there. An international crowd, they heard a dozen languages just in one crowded museum room. In the garden they were able to get some space, and plenty of people were taking advantage. Nearby, an attractive Chinese-American couple posed in front of a red glass tree. A professional photographer danced around, snapping them from several different angles. The woman wore a cream dress, the guy laid-back trousers and a nice shirt. Both of them wore radiant smiles. She had flowers in her hair and, conspicuously, a large diamond ring.
"Engagement photos," Rosemary commented, nodding at them. "They can't help but be gorgeous, with that background."
"This would be a great place for a wedding." Fabricio paused, then added, "Or a proposal."
Rosemary's pulse fluttered. Was he implying what she thought? No, that was ridiculous. Not after only being together for a few weeks. She glanced over, caught him looking at her with sincere, eager eyes. If he were to ask you, right now, what would you say? Her brain whirred, trying to analyze it all, to compartmentalize her feelings.
He saved her, though, by continuing, "You'd probably say it was too expensive, though. Let's see, twenty-seven dollars per guest and, let's say, one hundred people, so that's..."
Laughing, she interjected, "I think they probably charge way more than that for a wedding!" The tension was broken, thank god. "Anyway, I think my mom would prefer something in the forest, everybody wearing homespun linen and wildflowers, or something."
"Huh. Pretty sure my mom would have an emotional breakdown if one of her sons didn't get married in a Catholic church."
"Well, if the issue ever comes up, we'll just put them in a padded room together and let them battle it out. Winner is the last mom standing."
Fabricio's laugh burst out so loud, it startled the elderly couple next to them. "Sorry," he said, then, to Rosemary, "I'd love to see that!"
They drifted off to other conversation then. Rosemary let the garden soothe her, imagining herself in a world where everything was living glass, where love was easy and free from any harsh realities. Yet the feeling of it didn't completely go away. The thrill of his suggestion, and the frisson of panic that he was actually about to ask her to marry him. Worst of all, the uncertainty about what her reply would have been.
*
After a lazy afternoon at Seattle Center post-Chihuly museum, they headed back to Fabricio's dorm. What Rosemary really wanted was to change into some comfy pajamas and watch Netflix. Plus, at some point she wanted his opinion about Columbia. Rosemary knew he would be over the moon with excitement.
"Just a sec," Fabricio said, as she began heading for the elevator. "I have to grab my mail. It's been a few days."
She held the elevator for him as he went to the wall of student post boxes. He came back with a small pile, tucked conveniently into a strap fastened to the side of his wheelchair. "Handy for carrying schoolbooks, too," he said with a wink, noticing her looking at it.
In his room, Rosemary stripped off her pants and bra, flopping onto his bed with her t-shirt loose and cute panties peeking out beneath. Fabricio's smile spread wide as he watched her drag over his laptop and start scrolling through movie options.
"Damn, I love that view."
She sent a saucy glance his way. "I like the view of you shirtless..."
"Okay, okay, I can take a hint. Guess I can check out my mail just as well without a shirt."
She watched in admiration as he stripped, revealing the toned muscles of his arms and chest. It was amazing how much definition he had; an even match for his twenty-two-year-old stamina in bed, for sure. With a happy sigh, Rosemary tore her eyes away, glancing back now and then as she turned her attention to the computer.
