Major Arcana: Sex, Love, and Tarot

Making a dating profile was definitely weird. The first issue was coming up with a username. Finally she settled on something lame: Happy_Art_Girl. Next came the inevitable personal questions. How the hell do I summarize myself? Feeling silly, she wrote some stuff about being an art lover, liking kids, reading, hiking. The rest was multiple choice. Religion -- it's complicated. She picked "Spiritual." Politics: Mostly Liberal. Height: 5'4. Body Type... she hesitated between "Skinny" and "Athletic." Rosemary thought she was slim, not skinny; but athletic implied some kind of regular physical activity. She chose "Skinny." Age: 32. The next question had to do with what kind of relationship she was looking for. Rosemary didn't click Friendship, or Hookup; she hesitated between Dating and Relationship, then picked both. Keep my options open.

The last step was uploading a profile picture. Flipping through her phone, she found one that Parsley had taken earlier that spring. In it, Rosemary was standing under a blooming cherry tree on the UW campus. The delicate blossoms looked like a cloud, and Rosemary thought she looked cute -- approachable and attractive, but not intimidating -- in her long jacket and scarf. She was smiling in the photo, too, which was a plus. She uploaded it, did a quick look-through to make sure she had no glaring typos, and then clicked on the big green GO! button. Your profile is live! the computer declared. Go get 'em, Tiger!

It was hard to concentrate on the rest of her workday. Rosemary desperately wanted to check her phone, to see if anyone had messaged her. But once they were awake, the toddlers needed constant monitoring. Her afternoon flew by in a series of dirty diapers, snack times, clean-ups, and trips to the playground. Five o'clock rolled around and before she knew it she was heading home.

As she waited for the 12 bus she opened up the website on her phone. Alongside her profile was a list of possible matches, so she scrolled through, glancing at the series of smiling male faces. With all these oysters in the world, why haven't I been able to find a pearl? Nobody had sent her a message, though. Sighing, Rosemary was just about to put her phone away when something popped up with a buzz.

The bus came just then, and she hurried to find a seat. Opening her phone again, Rosemary saw that it was a message. From user name Dev'lish23.

"Hey. I just noticed two things about you: you're beautiful and you're new. Just joined up today?"

Rosemary's heart pounded. He'd messaged her just now! What was the etiquette? Should she respond, or pretend she hadn't gotten it? Play hard to get, yeah, that's that you're supposed to do... but Rosemary had never been good at following those classic dating rules. Her itchy fingers got the better of her, and she typed, "Yeah. First time trying online dating. Friends recommended this site."

While waiting for his reply, she clicked on Dev'lish23's profile. His profile picture showed a smiling tan face, smooth-shaven, with cropped blond hair. He had that all-American charm, with his blue eyes and wide grin, like a 1950's golden boy. Religion: Atheist. Politics: Liberal. Height: 6'1"; body type: Athletic. Age: 30. Looking for: Relationship, Dating, Hookup, Friendship. Huh, so he's down for anything, I guess. His bio was full of charm, written in a confident, clear style. He mentioned kayaking, salsa dancing, and amateur filmmaking among his interests. Rosemary kept looking for red flags, but none jumped out at her. Maybe the coincidence with The Devil card was just that... Parsley couldn't be right all the time. This whole Tarot thing could be a load of crap.

"Good choice," he messaged back. "This is the best site, in my experience."

Rosemary briefly wondered how extensive his experience was.

"Just thought I'd try it out."

"So your profile says you're looking to date. Are you free on Friday night?"

Whoa! Just like that, he asks me out? What the hell? I mean, is that what people do? Rosemary almost missed her bus stop; she pulled the cord just in time. The phone went back in her purse as the bus screeched to a halt. She needed time to think. By the time she pulled her phone out, halfway to her apartment, he'd messaged again.

"Sorry if that came off wrong. I didn't mean to scare you. I just prefer to actually meet people in person, and I would definitely like to meet you."

Steeling herself, Rosemary decided to go for it.

"Okay. I'm free on Friday."

"Let's grab drinks?"

"Sounds fine. I work downtown, so maybe a bar around there?"

"Got it. You ever been to Black Velvet, on 3^rd and Pine?"

"No."

"It's awesome. You'll love it. See you there Friday at 6?"

"Works for me."

"Sweet." There was a pause, while Rosemary wondered whether she should reply. Then he added: "Hey, what's your name?"

For some reason, she felt reluctant to reveal that about herself right away. I mean, I've only been a member since this afternoon! Is this guy for real? At least we're meeting in a public place. Maybe I'll ask Thyme to come shadow me, just in case.... Oh, don't be stupid, she chided herself. This is 2016, for God's sake. You're a grownup, independent woman. Just go on the freaking date! Still, she didn't want to give him her name.

"Rose," she finally said. That's half the truth.

"I'm Josh. Can't wait to see more of you on Friday, Rose."

"See you then."

She replayed the exchange in her mind for hours, as she boiled water for pasta, heated up a jar of sauce, shredded the Parmesan cheese. Josh -- Dev'lish23 -- The Devil. On the spur of a moment, Rosemary cleared off the top of her bookshelf, deciding to place the Tarot cards there, one by one, in order as they were revealed. She tucked The Fool into the corner, smiling at the happy little white dog. Now this card seemed hopeful, cheerful; a memory of yesterday -- the first day of my Tarot journey, and meeting Fabricio. I wonder if he'll actually text me. Probably not. Maybe I should've gotten his number, too. Setting The Devil beside it made The Fool seem even more innocent and appealing. The Devil was dark, suggestive, heavy. It drew her in, yet also terrified her. What is that card trying to tell me? Do I want to go there, or not?

Unsettled, yet also thrilled with the unexpected events of the day, Rosemary plopped down on the couch. She turned on Netflix, found the latest episode of her show, and dug into a bowl of pasta. One thing was becoming abundantly clear: this whole Tarot adventure was sure to bring surprises.

Chapter 3: The Hanged Man

As the week went on Rosemary realized two things. First, picking one Tarot card a day was way too ambitious; she didn't have the consistency for that. It was already Friday and she'd only managed to draw one more card. (The problem was she had to do it in the morning, in order to keep the card in her head all day. And, not being a morning person, she just forgot most of the time.) Given her pattern of flakiness, Rosemary figured this 22-card meditation would take closer to three or four months, instead of one.

Second -- Fabricio was totally serious about wanting to hang out again. He'd sent several texts inviting her to various artsy events, and Rosemary had been both bummed and relieved that they were during work hours. However, when he suggested that they go to the new exhibit at the SAM on Saturday -- Impressionist masterpieces on loan from New York -- she couldn't say no.

"Let's get lunch afterwards?" he texted.

"Sure." It was a lame response, but she didn't want to encourage him. Except, she kind of did... this whole thing with Fabricio was confusing. Especially since Josh was also expressing interest. He'd messaged her a couple times, just letting her know he was looking forward to their date. When she checked her phone at work that day, he'd messaged: "Can't wait for tonight. See you at Black Velvet, 6pm. I'll be there early, waiting impatiently for you..."

Meanwhile, Rosemary had received several other messages from guys on the dating website. Thyme had been right -- this was definitely a way to meet people! Josh had come right out and said he'd like to meet in person, which made sense to Rosemary. Most of the other guys were content to message back and forth. Only one had gone so far as to suggest they meet, and Rosemary told him she'd think about it. After all, she'd only been single for a week and already she had one date and one sort-of-date lined up; that was plenty.

At 4:50 Latysha came in, her replacement for the evening. Rosemary was just finishing a kid's diaper. She tossed the dirty one in the garbage, washed her hands, and smiled ruefully.

"Man, sometimes I think we should get hazard pay. That was a stinker!"

"Damn right," Latysha said. "Oops -- pardon my French."

Rosemary giggled. "That's the good thing about the toddler room. They don't understand swearing yet! Just watch out when you're with those 2's and preschoolers. Seems like the first words they memorize are the dirty ones."

Latysha laughed too, signed in, and started organizing a bucketful of toys.

"You got plans for tonight?"

"Actually, yeah. Got a date."

"A date? Girl, why didn't you tell me about it? Who's the guy?"

"His name's Josh. We met online, so this is our first, like, actual meeting."

"Um hm. Well, you be careful, y'hear? Have a good time, though!"

"I will, Latysha. Thanks."

"He try anything ungentlemanlike, you give me a call, 'kay?"

"Oh, if I tell him you're coming, he'll run for the hills! Your stink-eye is like nobody else's. Wish I had that talent."

"I know it. Okay, bye Rosemary. Have fun. See ya Monday."

"You too. Have a good weekend!"

After clocking out, Rosemary stopped by the bathroom to change. She left her jeans on, but stripped off her boring work shirt -- a simple tee with the daycare's name and logo printed on it. In her purse she'd packed a pretty black top, scoop neck with flirty, fluttery sleeves and a keyhole cutout in the back. It wasn't sexy, necessarily, but it was flattering, and obviously made for a night on the town. Not that we're even really going out, she thought. It's just a drink.

It was a nice, clear evening, bright and cloudless for a Seattle spring. Though she could have bused, Rosemary decided to walk to 3^rd and Pine, where Black Velvet was. She'd rechecked the directions on her phone, so she knew the route. As she walked, she drew out the Tarot card from her purse and looked at it. This one confused the hell out of her. The Hanged Man. It showed a man hanging upside down, a rope around one foot. The other leg was bent at an angle, like the number 4. His arms were behind his back, but impossible to tell if they were tied, or if he was just holding them that way. Although the image should have shocked or frightened her, it didn't, because the man was smiling. He looked perfectly happy to be swinging there from one foot. It was certainly a weird card. She'd had it in her pocket since Thursday, and could make neither heads nor tails of it. What is this hanged man trying to tell me?

Black Velvet was a hip-looking place, lots of glass and chrome. Sure enough, inside it felt dark and luxurious -- velvety, is how she would describe it. Shrugging off her sweater and draping it over her arm, she looked around, feeling nervous. Would he be waiting for her at the bar? That's what he had implied. Will I recognize him? God, how embarrassing, if I don't! Or if he doesn't show up... Butterflies careened around her belly. She definitely had the first-date jitters. More like first meet-up jitters!

She made her way shyly over to the bar, scanning the crowd for a face that looked similar to Josh's profile photo. In fact, she was so intent on finding him it was a shock to feel someone's hand on her elbow.

"Rose?" said a slow, sexy voice. She squeaked, spun around, and found herself staring at a remarkably handsome face. Blond, smiling, all-American-looking... just like his picture. Unable to speak, she nodded.

"It's Josh." He let go of her elbow and held out his hand to shake. His grip was forceful, but brief. He captivated her with that blazing smile.

"Thanks so much for agreeing to meet me," he said. "I know a lot of girls would rather chat and stuff online, but I feel like that's a waste of time. I mean, we're only online so we can meet people in real life, right? So why not cut to the chase?"

"Oh, for sure," she said, having recovered somewhat.

"Anyway, I appreciate you trusting me enough to come get a drink. I'm buying."

"No, really, I'd like to pay my share!"

"I insist, though," he said, turning up the charm even more. As if that were possible. "I invited you, so it's my treat. Plus, isn't every night I get to have drinks with such a pretty lady."

He put one hand in the small of her back, guiding her toward a pair of barstools. Rosemary practically felt his eyes sliding over her body, assessing her. She got the distinct feeling that he liked what he saw.

"Your profile picture doesn't do you justice," he added, holding out the chair for her.

"Thanks."

Josh leaped up onto his barstool and beckoned for the bartender.

"Cocktail menus," he said, and the waiter brought them over. Rosemary used the time to gather her thoughts. Josh, apparently, was using his to check her out, in the guise of looking over his menu.

"What're you having?" the bartender asked, coming over to them again.

"An Old Fashioned, for me. And for the lady...?"

"I'll have a gin and tonic, thanks."

The waiter collected their menus and went off, leaving them alone. Well, Rosemary amended, as alone as we can be in a crowded bar. Their drinks arrived and they clicked them together. Josh kept smiling at her over the rim of his glass. That smile could sell ice to Eskimos, she thought, borrowing her grandparents' old phrase.

"So, Rose, tell me more about yourself. What do you do?"

That launched them into typical first-date conversation. Rosemary talked about her job at the daycare, revealed that she was a Seattleite born and raised, and shared a little about her love of art. Josh revealed that he was a techie, worked for Amazon, and had moved to Seattle two years ago from Illinois. Sending out feelers, getting to know one another. By the end of it, Rosemary felt much more comfortable with him. Of course, two gin and tonics helped.

"You are quite a lady!" he exclaimed, as she wrapped up another hilarious work story of crazy toddlers. "Those kids are a handful."

"Yeah, but I like it. There's an innocence about them, a sense of endless possibility. Keeps me sane when everything else is nuts."

"So what does an art lover like you do for fun?"

"You mean, art fun?"

"Yeah. Do you paint? Draw? Whatever?"

"Both, when I have the time. And the inspiration."

He leaned in conspiratorially, fixing her with those bold baby blues. "Ever do, like, naked people? Nudes?"

Rosemary felt herself blush. "Sometimes. But I do my art at home, and for nudes you need to take the studio course. I haven't done figure drawing in a long time."

He leaned back with a lazy smile. "Well I'd totally model for you. Anytime. Just say the word."

Now Rosemary saw where he was going, so she laughed with relief. Just a fun flirtation, not kinky misunderstanding. That had happened before, when people learned she was a artist. They didn't realize that when she looked at a nude, she saw a work of art -- not a sexualized human body. Still, the thought of him naked was stirring... the image came of him, lounging on her bed, pinning her with that bright smile. From what she could deduce through his work clothes, Josh had a nice body. Lean, but fairly muscular. He'd make a good model, but Rosemary wasn't interested in him for the art. Her pulse quickened as her mind slipped off into erotic imaginings. His chuckle brought her back to reality, and she hurried to give him a cool smile.

"Thanks, Josh. I'll keep that in mind."

Her second drink was done, it was nearly 7:30, and Rosemary needed to get home. She had a late dinner of leftover pizza to heat up. Sensing her hurry, Josh threw back the rest of his cocktail, stood, and held out her sweater for her.

"Can I offer you a ride home?" he asked.

Rosemary was tempted. She almost said yes, but a scrap of caution reminded her that wasn't a good idea. Not yet.

"No thanks. My bus stop is really close. Appreciate the offer, though."

As they walked toward the bar entrance, Josh laid his hand lightly on her lower back. He paused outside the door, looking down at her. Rosemary felt a momentary panic. He isn't going to try and kiss me, is he?! To her relief, he just smiled.

"I really had a great time tonight with you, Rose. Would you go out with me again?"

"Sure. I had a good time too."

"Would it be too bold of me to ask for your number?"

Rosemary gave it, reflecting on how she'd never given her number to two guys in the same week before. With men, it seemed to be either flood or famine. She watched Josh carefully type the name Rose into his phone, and felt momentarily guilty for not telling him her real name. Still, for some reason she liked that distance. For now.

"So I'll text you later? Maybe we can do dinner sometime midweek?"

"That would be nice."

There was a somewhat awkward pause. Josh was looking at her like a cat watching a bird through the window. Rosemary could practically see the gears turning in his head. This is getting tense. Like, sexually charged. Time to go, before I do something stupid.

"I really want to kiss you," Josh said at last. "I know it's too soon, but I really do. You are so gorgeous."

Flattery had always worked on Rosemary. She knew it was silly, but she liked it. Josh's confession brought out her confidence. And her flirtatious side.

"On the cheek," she said, leaning in, glancing at him over her little closed-mouthed smile like Scarlett O'Hara with one of her beaus.

His hands went around her arms, holding her firmly as he leaned in. She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against her cheek. Of course you couldn't tell if a guy was a good kisser or not, just from a peck on the cheek. But Josh's intensity seemed to burn through her skin, leaving searing heat in his wake. Rosemary would put money on him being a damn good kisser.

"See you soon," he murmured, just as he pulled away.

"Bye."

She felt his eyes following as she walked away. Rosemary made sure to give her hips an extra swish, knowing he was watching. As first meet-ups go, that was pretty successful, she thought. I mean, he is definitely hot. And seems to think I'm pretty, so there's one thing going for him. Got to get to know him better, though, before figuring out anything of substance. I'm going to broach it early, this time. Don't want to end up in the same situation as with Jason. But Josh is pretty damn cute... maybe just a little making out before I start getting serious...

*

Rosemary was happily snuggled in bed, her hand between her legs, indulging in one of her favorite little fantasies: a crew of sex-crazed pirates, all totally focused on bringing her to orgasm, since the captain -- himself a tall, dark, bedroom-eyed cavalier -- was waiting impatiently for her to come before stuffing his rock-hard erection inside... but right as she was getting to the good part, her phone alarm started blaring.

"What?" she mumbled, groggy and frustrated, as she picked up the phone. Ten o'clock. "Shit! The SAM! I told Fabricio we'd meet at ten. Shit..."

Leaping out of bed, she struggled into a pair of pants and threw on her cleanest sweatshirt, even as she fumbled with her phone to dial Fabricio's number. It didn't even register that she'd never called him before; until now they'd communicated exclusively by text.